Episode: 304- GAMERA VS. BARUGON

Tom (At the KSOL microphone): And we'll be right back right after this.

Kids--here's the greatest, the neatest, the latest thing! 5000-piece Fightin' Men 'N Monster Set! (some pieces not included) Astonish and baffle your friends and foes while you pulverize Japan! Here's what you get:

500 Japanese light infantry! (body parts may not be missing)
36 helpless individuals!
20 tanks!
15 recoilless rifles! (not in the set)
24 Bazooka Gum runners!
18 ambulance chasers!
12 jet fighters! (6 not included)
16 helicopter parts!
200 shooting crouchers!
19 fighting clowns!
8 deserters!
6 geese-a-layin'!
24 Mohawk indians and much, much, much, much more!!

Act now and receive at half the extra value the Mystifyin' Monster Action Pack!

Flame on with Gamera! (torso sold separately) He spits REAL FIRE and causes REAL PAIN!
Solid rubber Barugon comes complete with optional "ram-tongue" action! (not responsible for nerve damage)

And amuse your friends with

Meepsong (?) and
Bart the battlin' Belgian endive! (some parts may not exist)

Act now, act often and snap-on the entire Tokyo metropolitan area, complete with:

bridges and
the break-away Monte-Nuco Dam! (smaller than shown)
Trample the add-on Hapless Citizen Playset, then abhor the action with the fabulous Anti-War Protest Pack! (Senator Wellstone not included)

But that's not all! Relive your favorite Japanese movie carnage with the Lights, Gamera, Action series! There's:

the gimp,
the goon,
the shame-filled brother,
the hapless geisha and
the pull-apart voodoo Kenny!

Pose in the nude with the Frisky Kitten Revue, then watch the action from high atop Tokyo Tower, as the twisted world you create explodes in rivers of blood and endless pain! Order today! Offer limited! Not available in Utah, Puerto Rico, prices subject to whim, please wear rubber underwear, some parts may be made of chicken! Act now! Buy bonds! That's all! Mommy! M-Mommy!! M-Mommy!! M-M-M!!!

Joel: (Administers oxygen) Okay, breathe, boy, breathe. That was a good one! Let's not do that again. Here's something we think you'll really like. (Tom sobs, Joel comforts him ) That's okay.