Satellite News -- Ward E -- Bit816b

Bit: Time Distortion Effects

Episode: 816- Prince of Space

Transcription by Rachel Hestilow (with an assist from Jim Lauwers and Matthew Haught)


(There is a strange green glow...we see Tom holding a chicken puppet.}

Tom: Oh yeah, Mike, I was wondering that myself, weird, isn't it?

(Mike enters.)

Mike: Oh, hey, Tom--how'd you get here so fast?
Tom: Oh, he'll be along, I have his chicken puppet.
Mike: Hey, where's Crow?
Tom: Talking like what?
Mike: Why're you talking like that?
Tom: Well, no, I'm not, I'm just way ahead of you, Mike.
Mike: Well, like that, you know? You're answering my questions before I ask them. (to Crow, who isn't there) I dunno, I'm asking him the same thing.
Tom: No, you dope, I mean I'm moving faster than you *temporally* speaking.
Mike (insulted): Hey, whaddya mean you're way ahead of me?
Tom: Well, I asked you for it, Crow, you were right here.

(Crow enters)

Crow: Hi guys! Hey, how'd you get here so fast?
Tom: That's what I've been trying to tell you, Mike! I'm ahead of you by about three seconds.
Mike: You know what, guys, I think there may be something wrong with the time-space continuum.
Crow: Servo, how'd you get my chicken puppet?

(Gypsy enters)

Gypsy: Whoops, sorry, everything's on the fritz. My burrito was done before I put it in the oven!

(Gypsy leaves)

Tom: Alright, alright, take your damn chicken puppet! I'll have it back before you know it, anyway! (Chuckles)
Mike (Taking chicken puppet and handing it to Crow ): Hey, Tom, why don't you just give him his chicken puppet back, alright?
Tom: Say, why don't we ask Gypsy to mess with the warp engines?
Crow: Well, alls I know is I want my chicken puppet back! (sees puppet in his hand.) Hey, how'd that happen...?
Mike: That's a good idea. (yelling offstage) Gypsy, there's something wrong with the space time thingy, isn't there anything we can do?
Tom: Well, okay Gypsy, I guess all we can do is ride it out, I'm outta here..

(Tom leaves.)

Mike: Okay, Gyps, I guess all we can do is ride it out. I'm, that's a weird deja-vu.

(Tom is seen in the foreground carrying the chicken puppet, laughing.)

Mike: Yeah, that's a good idea, Crow. You do that. This is really weird, we'll be right back.

(Mike leaves.)

Crow: Well, I'm just going to play with my chicken puppet till this blows over...I'll see you Mike, Tom...

(Crow walks off with his chicken puppet, whistling. Crow reappears without the puppet.)

Crow: Hey, anybody seen my chicken puppet?

(Commericial sign)