Song: HIRED!

Episode: 423- Bride Of The Monster

The SOL Community Theater
Sings hits from
Mort Cambot and his Orchestra

Bots (in a whisper): He's hired. He's hired. He's hired. He's hired.
Joel: I'm hired.
Bots: Hes hired.
Joel: I hope I don't get fired.
Bots: He's hired.
Joel: In forty years I'll be retired. But for now, I'm simply hired.
Bots: He's hired. He's hired. He's hired. He's hired.
Joel: I got a job today.
Bots: He's hired.
Joel: I'm selling Chevrolets.
Bots: He's hired.
Joel: I'm bringing home good pay.
Bots: He's hired.
Joel: I just got hired.
Bots: He's hired. He's hired. He's hired. He's hired. He got a job today.
Joel: Yeah, me!
Bots: He's selling Chevrolets.
Joel: We're gonna get awnings.
Bots: He's bringing home good pay.
Joel: Maybe even dessert. (At same time with 'bots next line) I just got hired.
Bots: He just got hired.

(Music changes)
Joel: I was wondering if you'd like to see my--
Gypsy: No!
Joel: But I really think you should see my--
Tom: No!
Joel: It's got a lovely--
Gypsy: No!
Joel: And if only you would--
Crow: No!
Bots: Can't you see we're trying to tell you no!

(Music changes)
Tom (spoken) Ahh. (singing):
Zeros, zeros.
None of my salesmen has ever sold a car.
Sometimes I think I might be pushing them too far.
I think I'll hit the bar
And try to get my mind off zeros.
Gypsy: Zeros.
Tom: Zeros.
Gypsy: Zeros.
Tom: All of my salesmen are zeros.

(Music changes)
Crow: Good evening, sonny.
Tom: Hi, Dad.
Crow: You look depressed.
Tom: I am.
Gypsy: Come on and have some lemonade.
Tom: Thanks, Mom, but that won't help.
Crow: Just get it off your chest.
Tom: Okay. I suck at my job.
Crow: No, you don't.
Tom: Yes, I do.
Gypsy: Oh, my.
Tom: My salesmen are slobs.
Crow: No, they aren't.
Tom: Yes, they do.
Crow and Gypsy: Huh?
Tom: I'd like to make a sale, but what can I do? I'm gonna be a failure just like you, Dad.
Crow: Like me?
Tom: That's right, I'll be a failure just like you!
Crow (spoken): Why, you, son of a ragalfragen...
Joel (spoken): Extry, extry, read all about it! Pearl Harbor bombed! Roosevelt declares war!
Tom (spoken): Well, that's it!
Crow: What's it?
Tom: Uncle Sam's gonna need cars. Why, selling Chevrolets is gonna help the war effort. Don't ya see, Dad? Come on everybody!
All (singing): See the U.S.A. in your Chev--
Joel (spoken): Stop! We got Commercial Sign.
Tom (spoken): For crying out loud!
Crow (spoken): What's the point?
Joel: Commercial Sign. (Cut)