Bit: Frank returns!
Episode: 1001- Soultaker
(Mike & the Bots are standing on the
bridge, Mike holding a clipboard)
Mike: There. We fixed every problem, found every flaw.
What could possibly go wrong? (Alarms go off as oxygen bags
drop from the ceiling and the ship rocks back and
Crow: How about
EVERYTHING!? (All start screaming, panicked, as they are
tossed around the bridge.)
Mike (sort of
crying): You gotta help,
Pearl! Satellite of Love to Pearl!
(A hooded figure is attacking a
convulsing but standing Bobo; Pearl jumps in front of the
scene and addresses the SOL.)
Pearl (frantically): I can't play
now! A Soultaker has appeared in the castle and is attacking
Bobo! (Brain Guy appears, broom in hand.)
him, you wraith!
(in ominous voice): Get
away, foul one! (Shoves Brain Guy aside.)
Pearl: I'll save
you, Bobo! (Shoves away Bobo, who promptly collapses.) I
don't know who you are, but get your soul-pinching paws off
Pearl Forrester, at last we... (Soultaker hunches over and
coughs; as he finishes coughing, he pulls back his hood,
revealing he is TV's Frank.)
voice): Hey, Pearl,
how's it going?
Geez, Frank, that was you? (laughs)
c'mere, Pearl..(they hug)
Pearl: Frank, I
thought you were dead!
Frank: I am dead.
I was in Second-Banana Heaven for a while, but it is soooo
political up there! Pat Buttram had it in for me right from
the start. So, then I was an angel for a while, and then I
got into big trouble for appearing to people as Della Reese.
Scared the hell outta them! So they transfered me to
soultaking. (Brain Guy returns, coughing to alert the
uh...Frank, Brain Guy. Brain Guy, Frank.
(offering hand): Well met,
great..... (to Pearl) Where'd ya get the Hostess Snowball?
Pearl: Tell me
about it..Woo-hoo! (Brain Guy slinks away.)
Frank: So, how
are Mike and the Bots doing up there?
Pearl: Oh, well,
let's take a look.
(Everyone's hanging upside down, and a
zooming noise is audible.)
Mike (panicky): Oh, no! We're
plummetting into Earth's atmosphere!
Tom: I think I'm
gonna be sick!...Whoaaa! (goes flying down towards the
(singing): Nearer my God
(Frank & Pearl are just staring,
Frank: I can't believe it..... (holds up taco) this
Gordita is delicious!
Pearl: Try a
Border Fry! (Prepares to feed Frank a fry. Bobo gets up and
approaches the two.)
Lawgiver, it was horrible! An unpleasant man tried to steal
my soul and-- (notices Frank) Oh, hello. And he had this
hair-- (looks again and starts making panicky monkey noises)
Oh, it's him!! (flees but collides into hanging fixture and
knocks himself out.)
Pearl: Oh, Frank,
we have so much catching up to do!
Frank: Let's have
some General Foods International Coffee.
perfect! (to Mike and the Bots) And you up there! Get back
in the thee-ay-ter! (Frank attacks his taco.)
(The bridge continues tossing around
until it stops abruptly; Mike kepts on tossing and screaming
for a while.)
Mike: AAAH! AAH! Aah?...
Mike: Huh? Hey,
what'd I do? (Gypsy enters)
Gypsy: You didn't
do jack. We were saved by a tractor beam from that
mysterious ship. Cambot, gimme Rocket number 9! (Shot of
small, unknown vessel sweeping a tractor beam over the
then we're saved! Thanks, Gyps!
Gypsy: Yeah, jump
up my tube, white boy! (exits.)
Mike: Oh, we got Movie Sign!! What else?!