Bit: Mike Gets Caught in a Web

Episode: 1011- Horrors of Spider Island

Transcribed by Brian Lafferty


(Mike is caught in a giant spider web with a fly on it when Crow enters)

Crow: Mike, what the hell are you doing.
Mike: I'm trying to extricate myself from this giant web.
Crow: Well be careful, Mike. And don't disturb that giant fly. That's our lunch.
Mike: OK, I'm not going to get into how you made a giant web, but I want to know why.
Crow: I think the real question is what possessed you to leap blindly across the bridge and get stuck in the first place.
Mike: I didn't.
Crow: Did you routinely spring out of the theater like a gazelle?
Mike: Crow, how do I get out of here?
Crow: Good question. Can you excrete oily web-proof spittle from you mouth?
Mike: Well, let's see. Ptoo. No, of course I can't.
Crow: Hey, I'm not the guy who sprinted headlong into a large and very obvious web.

(Tom enters carrying a plate with a large bug on it)

Tom: Hey, I've got some toasted potato bug and dip. Mike, what the hell are you doing?
Crow: He was pogosticking blindfolded across the bridge.
Tom: I had no idea that there were so many giant insects on this satellite.
Crow: And I had no idea they'd be so delicious.

(A giant hairy leg appears in the bottom right hand corner of the web)

Mike: Help. There's a giant spider. Help me.
Crow: Hey, Mike, that impression is even more lamer than Michael Hedison in the Fly.
Tom: Hey, Crow. The large mantis' fingers are bubbling hot with cheese.
Crow: OK, see ya Mike.

(Crow and Servo leave with the spider leg getting closer to Mike)

Mike: Well, I'm dead, we'll be right back. Shoo.