Bit: A Case of Mike Fever

Episode: 1012- Squirm

Transcribed by Lea Frost with an assist by K Carmichael


(Crow and Servo reading comic books and giggling.)

Mike: So every object in the universe has its own spry satanic sprite just waiting for the moment someone wishes it didn't exist?
Tom: Well, evidently.
Mike: Well, that's weird...Hey, do you suppose there's even a hellish imp for me?
Crow: Well, let's try it!
Tom: Yeah!
Crow: (in a voice like the "Case of Spring Fever" protagonist) Shoo! Mike! I hope I never see Mike again for as long as I live!

(With a sproingy sound, Mikey the Mike Sprite pops into existence)

Crow: Whoa!
Mikey: So, you never wanna see Mike again for as long as you live? (All laugh) OK, mister, I'll fix it so you get that wish!
Mike: Hey, guys, look, it must be--
Mikey: The name's Mikey! The Mike Sprite they call me!
Mike: This is totally amazing! I had no idea--
Mikey: Quiet! This has nothing to do with you!
Tom: Wow!
Mikey: I heard your wish, and, well, now you're gonna get it! No more Mike from now on!

(Mike pops out of existence)

Crow: Well! and learn, huh? There is a Mike Sprite.
Mikey: The name's Mikey.
Tom: Right, yeah.
Crow: Fine.

(Crow and Tom return to their comic books)

Mikey: You got your wish.
Crow: We, uh, we understand that.
Tom: Yup.
Mikey: NOOO Mike! (whistles)
Crow: Yeah. (continues to read) Heh...this is good.

(Mikey looks from Crow to Tom and back. Both are totally engrossed in their books.)

Mikey: What's that you say?
Crow: I didn't say anything.
Tom: Neither did I.
Mikey: You-- you got your wish...?
Tom: Yup.
Mikey: Nooo...?
Crow: Uh, OK. Uh... gee, I wish I could have a big Steak-Ummm sandwich brought to me by...Mike.
Mikey: NOOO Mike! (whistles) Do another!
Tom: Oh,, let's see. I wish I could jump on Mike's bed. How's that?
Mikey: NOOO-- hold on. Does Mike's bed exist if there's no Mike?
Crow: Good question.
Mikey: You'd better do an easier one!
Tom: Look, do you want us to beg you to bring Mike back? Is that it?
Mikey: Well, yes!
Crow: Oh, all right. (assumes Frog-Man voice again) Aw, gee, Mikey, I didn't realize what I was missing. Isn't there anything we can do? Please let me take back my wish!
Mikey: Well, OK. I'll do it just this once.
Crow: Right. OK.
Mikey: But next time be more careful!
Tom: We will, we will.
Mikey: Don't ever make that wish again!

(Mike returns from limbo with the same sproingy sound.)

Mike: Wow!
Tom: So there must be a sprite for everything. Now what if I said...I hope I never see Mike's socks again!

(With the same sproingy sound, another sprite appears. He looks exactly like Mikey, only wrapped in socks.)

Mike: Oh, no...
Mike Socksy: The name's Mike's Socksy!
Tom: I'll say!
Mike Socksy: The Mike's Socks Sprite, they call me!

(Commercial sign blinks)

Mike: Right. Uh, we'll be right back. Hey, come on, I want my socks back.
Mike Socksy: NOOO Mike's socks!
Mike: No Mike's socks, OK.