Bit: Give Crow a Hand

Episode: 106- The Crawling Hand

Transcribed by Angrybeavers13


Crow: That hand's not so tough! What's the worst thing he's gonna do to you? Pinch you?
Tom: Yeah and how does he know to go after you? He's got no brain, and no leverage! (Joel enters.)
Joel: Hey, what are you guys talking about? (picks up one of the two hands on the table)
Tom: Oh, we're just mocking this week's monster. Say, what's a hand gonna do to you?
Joel: Oh, there's a lot of thing a hand can do to you, if you stop and think about. Like, you're sleeping, he comes along takes his two fingers, sticks them up your nose, you sufficate. Stone dead.
Tom: I hardly think that's possible.
Joel: Or he could sneak up behind you, and tap you (taps crow) whiplash, you're dead.
Crow: Oh, right.
Joel: ...or he could do this (Joel taps himself with one of the toy hands and he looks down, and gets his nose flipped) till you're bored to death.
Tom (sarcastic): Right, Joel, tell us about it.
Joel: Or two hands could come up and give you an Indian Rub. (Joel gives Tom an indian rub.)
Joel: And there are other things like, pick, poke, gnawl, grab, slice. (Joel repeatedly pokes the robots with the toy hands.)
Crow: I don't think that hand could scare me anyway! (Theater doors open) Even if it were connected to a forearm it wouldn't bother me! (A giant hand crawls into the room. Joel and Tom see it, they sneak away) Tickle you to death? Sure, but scary? Ha! I saw a hand the size of a football, but it didn't scare me in the least! Hey, Joel remembe-- uh.. Joel? (crow turns around and sees the giant hand. The giant hand pounces on top of crow) AHH! Oh! Oh!


[In the theater]

(Joel and Tom are already in the theater. Crow enters after a few seconds.)
Crow: Oh Joel, it was horrible! There's this big hand chasing me!
Joel: Oh, we were teasing you! That was Gypsy in a giant hand costume.
Crow: What? Oh, I knew that!
Joel: Watch the movie!