Bit: My White Goddess
Episode: 203- Jungle Goddess
Transcribed by Lorrie Matheson
Opening song (sung in multi-part harmony, like the theme to a 50s TV show):
There was a bungle in the jungle
Joel: (in drag, as White Goddess; on phone) WeIl, you can just tell them if they're not going to worship me, I'm not going to join their PTA! (canned laughter)
Crow: (enters) Hi, honey, I'm home. (canned applause)
Joel: Oh╔how was work today?
Crow: Boy╔it's a JUNGLE out there! (canned laughter)
Joel: (kisses Crow's beak) Well, aren't you going to bow down and kiss my feet?
Crow: Hey, you may be Queen of the Jungle╔.but I wear the khakis around here! (canned laughter and applause) Hey╔what's this mess?
Joel: Oh, it's our neighbor. That "friend" of yours.
Crow: Bill? Did he go on another wild shooting spree?
Joel: I'll say he did, and this time he went too far---he went and shot up my crockpot. I'm not going to be able to make dinner.
Crow: Welllll╔I told ya he wasn't such a bad guy. (canned laughter)
(Gunshots are heard off camera)
Joel: I wish that man would learn how to use the doorbell! (canned laughter)
(Tom enters with gun and spear in his back.)
Tom: Hello, everybody! Ha! (canned applause. Tom fires gun.)
Crow: Ahhhhhhh-will you cut that out? (begins to scuffle with Tom) (canned laughter)
Joel: (separating the two 'bots) Oh, now, stop it, you two, stop it. Would you settle down? Mr. and Mrs. Mubutu are on their way over here to play bridge!
Tom: What? Where? (fires gun)
Mr. Mubutu: (offscreen) Oooh-ga! (thud. canned gasps.)
Tom: Maybe it'll be three card monte now. Ha! (canned laughter. Gypsy enters in animal skin dress with bone through her head.)
Joel: Oh, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Mubutu, that we shot your husband. What were his last words?
Gypsy: Mubuto, mubuto, mubuto!
Crow: What did she say?
Tom: Sounded like, "Mubuto, mubuto, mubuto!" (canned laughter.)
Joel: Well, that's one native that's not going to be restless tonight. (canned laughter)
Crow: Baby...you're a goddess! (canned "awwww's", canned applause.)