Bit: The Sinbad Problem
Episode: 505- The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
(Lights are down. Joel, Crow, and Tom are
sitting at the desk, muttering. Joel hits the desk with a
mallet. Gypsy comes in.)
Gypsy: (laughing a little too hard) We were
wondering...what would *you* do if Sinbad came to your town?
(laughs again) Wouldn't you want the city council to do
something about it? Let's watch. (Gypsy leaves. Lights come
up. Joel and bots are wearing fur hats and *long,* grey,
fake beards. Signs in front read 'Hon. T. Robot,' 'Hon.
Rosnibon' (really!), and 'Hon. Servo.' An empty water
pitcher sits in front of Joel.)
(bangs mallet) Be it henceforth resolved, parking is
diagonal rather than parallel in down Persia. Next item. Can
I get some water, please? (bangs mallet)
Crow: You're the
Joel: Ah, sure,
Crow: Then can I
be Labor MP from Brixton?
Joel: Yes! (bangs
mallet) The President recognizes the Honorable Tom
Tom: Thank you.
Gentlemen, the Sinbad problem--
Crow: Move to
table. He's not Sinbad. (Joel bangs mallet)
Tom: Motion is
out of order--I have not yet yielded the floor. (Joel bangs
mallet) My honorable colleages--and Crow--far too long have
we denied the existence of this scourge.
Crow: What a
cheap demagogue. Servo, you're a cheap demagogue.
Tom: Be it
demagogery, sir, to safeguard the public morals? Item one:
Sinbad has continually, and in clear violation of city
statue 101.4563--1988 statues amended, interrupted our daily
Crow: He's not
I'm a fellow what likes to know what he's doing and when
he's doing it. Ours is a society based on ancient
Crow: I thought
we just sold each other fish!
Joel: That's what
I thought. (bangs mallet) Ooh, I got one. Could I have some
more water, please?
Tom: And, most
pressing on the public coffers, why in God's name is Sinbad
Joel: Look, do
you have a suggestion?
Joel: Okay. The
President (bangs mallet) recognizes the Labor MP from
Crow: Thank you.
Move to refer whole issue to zoning, move to find out what
the *heck* is with these beards, and move to find out the
true identity of this guy Skinbag.
pulls down beard) No, you mean--you mean Zigzag.
laughing) Precisely. Whizbang.
Gentlemen...our youth, our infrasturcture...
Crow: Move to end
mallet) Ah, yes. Do I hear a second?
mallet) Is there any discussion?
Crow: Yeah, he's
Joel: So ordered.
(bangs mallet, picks up pitcher) Could I get some water,
please? (He and Crow exit.)
Sometimes lost causes are the only causes worth fighting
for. [Movie sign] Ahh, movie sign!