Episode 509- The Girl in Lovers' Lane
Transcribed by Laura Fox
(Crow and Servo are on the bridge. Servo has a pile of quarters at his,
er, lack of feet, and they’ve set up a pinball machine.)
Crow:So basically the
plan is to get him to ask for change for the pinball machine...
Crow:And then we beat
the snot out of him like in the movie, right??
Tom:Well, yeah, guess
that’s it in a nutshell.
Tom:Ahh, thank you!
Crow:...But, what if
he doesn’t fall for it?
Are you kidding!? He’s like an overgrown child!
He’s practically got "Rube" sewn into the back of his
underwear! (Both bots laugh.) He’s the posterchild for
naiveté---Oh-oh! Shh! Here he comes! (The Bots shush and
Servo hums innocently as Joel enters screen right.)
bros---hey, my old pinball machine. (Stands at the controls.)
Crow:Yeah! Heh. Wanna
Joel:Ehhh, no. What
else is going on?
Nothing, Joel, not a thing. We used our tricorders to scan the SOL for
entertainment potential, and the pinball machine is the only thing that
even moved the meter.
Joel:Well, you guys
know best... (The Bots cackle evilly to each other.)
breath) ...poor dope...
Tom:Ah-ah-I said do
you need any quarters?
Joel:Mehh, you know
actually I don’t have any money. Let’s just forget
give you fifty dollars...! Need change...?? (Tom struggles to suppress
Joel:Uh, Crow, this
doesn’t have any connection to that weird beating scene in
today’s film, does it? (The Bots laugh derisively.)
mean---tsh---geez! I can’t believe---geez, Joel, I
mean---what would make you think that!? It’s just
like "Hey Servo, let’s drag the pinball machine on deck and
get Joel to ask for change for his fifty and then hogpile him by a
bunch of crates we set up to look like the alley", yeah right, huh.
Chee, do you believe this guy??
it’s all right with you, then, I’ll just borrow one
of your quarters and-uh, play a game here...
Crow:Of course! Go
Tom:Ts! Right, tho!
What do you think it’s there for!? (The Bots exit still
scoffing at Joel. Joel settles into his pinball game. Crow re-enters.)
Joel:(not taking his
eyes off the pinball machine) Uh... yeah?
you’re... not gonna... take that fifty dollars and come into
our mock alley set and let us hogpile you and snag on you and stuff,
in his game) Ahhh no.
I’ll be right back.
(Crow exits screen left and can be heard consulting with Servo.
"whisper whisper really?? whisper..." Crow re-enters again.)
Joel:Ah, yeah, honey?
Crow:Okay, well, then
we’re just gonna hafta HOGPILE YOU HERE SERVO LET’S
(Servo pops up behind the counter and the Bots jump Joel with
high-pitched yells a la "Killer Shrews." Just then the lights start
flashing for Movie Sign!!)