Bit: The Dullest Dinner Conversation On Earth

Episode 602: Invasion U.S.A.

Transcribed by Ben Wink


(Mike and the bots are seated around a table filled with food. The bots are all in formal wear. Mike is laughing pleasantly before the scene starts. All are speaking in a proper and rather boring manner)

Tom: Michael, I must say that you have prepared these victuals with much regalement.

Gypsy: Indeed.

Mike: Well thank you Thomas and while we partake of these aromatic comestibles, there's no reason why we cannot converse in a refined and dignified manner.

Tom: Ah, yes.

Crow: Indeed. Say, how about that sporting event, hm?

Tom: Hm.

Crow: One team emerged the victor. Whereas the other, alas, found themselves vanquished.

Gypsy: Ah, but such are the vicissitudes of sport.

Tom: Indeed. You know the other day, I had the occasion to witness a cultural event. It seemed to point to the foibles of everyday living. Ha. Afterwards, I reflected on the stimulating nature of the presentation.

Mike: Mm. Recently, ahem, I was taken by an article of literature. The author used sentences and paragraphs to express his point of view.

Gypsy: Here, here.

Crow: Oh that reminds me of a pleasantry I was exposed to recently. (All laugh stiffly) An anecdote happened that might be interpreted as whimsical. (All laugh stiffly.) It provided all parties with a puckish sense of diverting amusement. (All laugh stiffly, sigh, and get very quiet)

Gypsy: Mike, this sucks! Can we just eat?

Mike: Yeah, that's a greatÉ(Starts stuffing his face with food)

(Mike and the bots start noisily attacking the food, making a mess and a cacophony of sounds. The last things we definitely hear are Mike asking for the ham and Crow screaming as he throws himself into his plate.)