Bit: Tom's Security Checkpoint
Episode 606: The Creeping Terror
Transcribed by Ben Wink
(Servo is wearing a blue shirt with a badge pinned onto it. There's a clipboard with a pen, a coffee mug, a phone, and a sign that reads "Visitors Must Sign In" on the desk. Mike passes behind Servo with a stack of comic books.)
Tom: Whoa, whoa, hold it right there fella. Come back her and sign in please.
Mike: Hey, what's up Servo?
Tom: Sorry, company policy.
Mike: What? Since when?
Tom: Well, since things have been getting too darn lax around here. You realize that just about anybody could walk up here on the Satellite of Love here and wander around╔
Mike: But I live here.
Tom: Hey, you can't expect me to keep track of every face that walks in╔
Mike: Hey, let me just drop these Mole Men comics off at Crow. I'll be right back. It'll take╔
Tom: Hold on a second. (Buzzes Crow on the phone) Hello Crow?
Crow: (Over phone) What?
Tom: Well, we got a╔what's the name again?
Mike: Mike Nelson!
Tom: We got a Mike Nelson up here. You expectin' him down there on that side of the ship?
Crow: Nelson╔uh, yeah. Yeah.
Tom: Huh. Well, sign in please.
Mike: Sign in too╔all right. (Signs)
Tom: Yeah, and don't forget the time.
Mike: Uh huh and that's╔?
Mike: 11:43. Okay, I'll just drop these off and be right back. (Walks off for a second)
Mike: (Off camera) Crow? Here you go. All right. (Begins walking back behind Servo again)
Tom: Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Sign out, will ya? (Mike comes back) (Commercial sign flashes)
Mike: Oh, come on! This is ridiculous!
Tom: Company policy╔
Mike: We'll be right back. (Signs)
Tom: Wait. 11:44.
Mike: 11:44. (Cut)
(Cut back to close-up of Servo in his security outfit, asleep, snoring, and drooling on the phone.)
Mike: (To Crow) Well, I think we better wake him up; he did a couple of back-to-back shifts. Heh heh. Servo!
Tom: AAAAHH! Red alert! Red alert! Send back up! Someone's breaking into the vending machine! (Quickly darts off screen)
Crow: And to think he's getting $4.35 an hour. (Mads light flashes)
Mike: Yeah. Ah, ah, Ponch and John are calling.
Crow: Ooooh. Hey. (Mike presses the button)