Bit: Tom Psychoanalyzes Crow

Episode 607: Bloodlust

Transcribed by Ben Wink


(Servo, wearing glasses is seated in a chair. Crow is on a couch in front of him. Tissues are nearby.)

Tom: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I see, yes. Well, describe your childhood to me, Mr. T. Robot.

Crow: I didn't have a childhood.

Tom: Hm, I see. Well, how would you describe your relationship with your mother?

Crow: I didn't have a mother.

Tom: Ah, interesting. Have you seen Cliffhanger?

Crow: No.

Tom: Hm, tell me more about that.

Crow: I didn't see Cliffhanger.

Tom: This seems painful to you.

Crow: No.

Tom: Hmmm. Tell me Crow T., what kind of fishing lure do you think is appropriate for early spring?

Crow: Definitely a Rebel deepÉehÉnothing leaves this office, right?

Tom: Heh, Mr. Robot. Everything said here today is strictly confidential.

Crow: Definitely a Rebel deep diving lure for early spring.

(Commercial sign flashes)

Tom: Hmm, yes. Yes. Ah, well, I see our time is up Crow. We'll be right back.

Crow: What?!

Tom: I'm prescribing a series of commercials.

Crow: (Disgusted) OhhhÉ (Cut)

(Cut back to same scene)

Crow: Gee I feel kind of embarrassed about the things I told you in our session.

Tom: Don't worry Crow. As I said before, whatever you tell me in the privacy of my office is in the strictest of confidence. (Mike enters)

Mike: Hi guys.

(Mads light goes on)

Tom: Aha, say Mike, you wouldn't believe some of the weird stuff this nutcup is into here!

Crow: Hey!

Tom: You know that he uses a Rebel deep diving lure in early spring?!

Crow: No I don't. (Mike and Servo start laughing) I lied about that. That wasÉshhÉshhhÉhey, heyÉshÉ (Mike grabs a tissue because he's crying from laughing)