Bit: Frank's Bomb Threat

Episode 613- The Sinister Urge

Transcribed (I didn't save your name! Sorry!)


(Bridge – still decorated for the shower.)

Gypsy: Well, this has been so nice, thank you so much, um, well…thanks…and everything…

Crow: It was so much fun Gypsy; you got so much great stuff!

Tom: Yeah! I really hope you like the pinking shears, Gypsy! I saw them in a catalog, and I just thought Gypsy!!

(Gypsy laughs)

Mike: Oh, Tom! Let me wrap up some of that chicken salad! (goes off screen, mads light flashes)

Tom: Don’t you dare…no…no…

Gypsy (noticing mads light): Girls! The mads are calling!

Tom and Crow (turning to camera)
: Lovely!

[Deep 13]

Dr. F: Oh, sorry, didn’t know you had company. Say Mike, you haven’t seen Frank around anywhere, have you? I’ve looked everywhere, he didn’t leave a note, his car keys are still here. He didn’t mention anything to you, did he?


Mike: No, nothing at all. Did you try all the Baskin Robins?

Tom: Did you try Comic Book College?

Crow: Did you try all the emergency rooms? They all know him.

[Deep 13]

(Dr. F inspects Frank’s pants, going through ticket stubs)

Dr. F (examining the ticket stubs): “In the Line of Fire,” “Speed,” “Blown Away?” Nelson look! I was just tidying up in Frank’s room, and I found these ticket stubs in Frank’s pants pocket. Now I really am worried. You know how easily influenced Frank is by the moving picture!


Mike: (picking up the wrapping): Well I wouldn’t worry about it, Doctor F, I’m sure he’s not serious. (Comes across another gift for Gypsy) Oh hey check it out! It’s another gift here for you.

Tom, Crow, and Gypsy: Ooooh!

Gypsy: It’s from Frank! Listen to this: Dear Gypsy, how are you? I’m fine. I’m going to bomb the living bejesus out of Deep 13. Well, it looks like I’m out of room. Best wishes, Frank. (suddenly realizes the threat) OH MY GOD! MIKE, TOM, CROW, WE GOT TO STOP HIM!!! (goes back to the note) P.S. Hope you like the pinking shears (Tom and Crow gasp, Mike opens it up to reveal that the gift is none other than ANOTHER pair of pinking shears!)

Tom: Pinking shears, lovely!

Mike: Well, I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m sure Frank’s not serious.

Crow: He sure is Mike, those are definitely pinking shears!

Mike: Not about the pinking shears, I’m talking about the bomb! (takes package) Hey Dr. F, I think you should know about this bomb threat from Frank.

[Deep 13]

(Dr. F approaches carrying a bundle of dynamite)

Dr. F: I knew it! I knew it! Just look what I found in Frank’s closet behind his Jayne West doll: dynamite! Not that I was snooping, but if I didn’t snoop, I wouldn’t know what’s going on in Frank’s life. All right, Mickey, I’ve got it taken care of down here. Why don’t you take in Ed Wood’s “The Sinister Urge,” with a short about personal hygiene? Watch and learn, stink bombs!


(Mike is examining Gypsy’s pinking shears)

Mike: This one’s got good handles. (to Dr. F) Well anyway, call us if you need us Clay, alright?

Tom: Well, Gypsy, I think Frank would be really understanding if you returned his pinking shears and got something else!

(Movie Sign)

Mike: Whoa, hey we’ve got movie sign!