Bit: Crow Proposes To Marry Tom
Episode 616: Racket Girls
Transcribed by Ben Wink
(Mike enters chuckling over something he's reading in Cosmopolitan. Crow quickly enters.)
Crow: Oh, uh, ah, Mike? Ah. Ahem. I would like to ask you for Servo's hand in marriage.
Mike: (Still reading, not really paying attention) Sure. I don't see why that WHA?! (Juggles magazine, puts it on the desk) What? Did I hear you right? You wanna marryÉ?
Crow: ÉTom Servo.
Mike: Well, why?
Crow: Well, hey, I'm not getting any younger. (Servo pops up)
Tom: Did he say yes? Please tell me he said yes. Pleeeease say that we can be joined together and ride on a magic carpet to a land of whimsical enchantment. Do we have our answer?
Tom: What a boner, man. Jeez.
Mike: You guysÉ Getting married isn't about just settling for whoever's there. There's the whole question of compatibility. You know as a matter of fact, there's a compatibility quiz in this month's Cosmo. Why don't we look hereÉ
Tom: (Sarcastically) A quiz in Cosmo? How unusual!
Mike: AhahahahaÉhuh? All right, here it isÉokay. Which, uh, "who do you admire more as a father figure: Bill Cosby or Marvin Gaye, Sr.?"
Tom: Bill Cosby.
Crow: Marvin Gaye, Sr. (Both Mike and Servo stop and stare at Crow) Okay, admittedly he was a little strict.
Mike: "In matters of the heart, which of The Three Stooges do you base your decisions on?"
Crow: Joe Besser.
Tom: Uh, Curly Joe DeRita.
Mike: That's weird man. Gah, that is strange. Okay, last one. This one's kind of important: "Do you want to get married?"
Mike: Well, okay, IÉadd 'em up thereÉ I guess that last one put you over the edge. Helen Gurley Brown gives you her blessing.
(Mads light goes on)
Crow: All right, all right, all right. (Goes towards Servo trying to kiss him, making kissing noises)
Tom: No no no no, don't you, don't you, get away! (Crow kisses him)
Crow: MmmmWAH! Heh heh hehÉI kissed him.
Tom: C'mere you! (Goes after Crow to kiss him)
Dr. F: Marriage, hah! What would you know about marriage?
(Mike is stretching a rubber band while speaking, like in the short)
Mike: Well, I know that if the marriage is stretched too much, it could SNAP! (Lets the rubber band fly)
Frank: (Panicking) It's gone! Where did it go?!
Dr. F: Be careful! I've got to send you your feature presentation, Racket Girls. ItÉ
(Mike is stretching another rubber band)
Mike: Well, I know that if the movie is too long it can SNAP! (Lets the rubber band fly)
Dr. F: (More jittery) Where did it go?
Frank: He's a SORCERER!