Episode: 808- The She Creature

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(with minor fixes from


Crow: Hey, Mike! There you are. I had an idea and I wanted to run it by a totally average unspectacular not overly-bright consumer. And here you are!

Mike: Yeah, sure Crow.

Crow: Good. Hey, get me that thing under there, would you?

Mike: Yeah...m-hm. (Gets Carlo Lombardi doll under table. Carlo is sitting in his own chair)

Crow: It's my Tickle-Me Carlo Lombardi doll.

Mike: Oh, What the...

Crow: Yeah, it's just like the lovable Tickle-Me Elmo doll, only it's Carlo Lombardi.

Mike: But, why?

Crow (begins speaking in a creepy voice): Oh, that's a lotta little boys' initial reaction to dolls. But you'll grow to love it as you take it into your room, perhaps prop next to your bed as you sleep. He'll watch over you. He's Dr. Carlo Lombardi.

Mike: Crow, why would you even make a...

Crow (even creepier): Go ahead, Mike. Tickle him.

Mike: Noo!

Crow: Oh, I'd think you'd better, Mike. Tickle-Me Carlo Lombardi doesn't like to be disappointed.

Mike: Well, I guess, just to be safe... (tickles Carlo doll)

Crow: That's right.

Carlo doll (laughs creepily for rest of segment): Ho ho ha ho ha

Crow: Tickle Me Carlo Lombardi is your friend... forever! (Mike notices doll is stuck to his fingers.) And I made him sticky so he's even more fun! (Mike struggles to get doll off his fingers.) You can feed him the special baby food included, and in a few minutes, change Tickle-Me Carlo Lombardi's didy! (Mike falls behind desk, still struggling with the doll.) And there's a song, too!


Who's that fat little funny little doll?
It's Tickle-Me Carlo Lombardi!
Who's little diaper needs a good little change!?!
It's Tickle-Me Carlo Lomardi.

(spoken) Tickle Me Carlo Lombardi and Tickle Me Carlo Lombardi sold seperately. (Mike gets back up and we can see the skin has peeled off the Carlo doll) Ehh, you know, that thing's kinda creepy. I don't think it'll work. You can have that doll though, Mike. I'm done with it.

Mike (still struggling with doll): Ahhhh!

Carlo doll (still laughing fiendishly): Ho ho ha ho ha