Bit: WHAT'S WITH THE "?" ?/ OBSERVER JOINS UP
Episode: 808- The She Creature
Mike: So guys, what do ya make of that big question
mark at the end of the movie?
Well, I think they were asking
"when", as in, "When will this movie not exist?" (Mike
Tom: Or, maybe it
was a "why" question, as in, "Why did King George and his
Parliament react with such indifference, nay arrogance, to
the colonists long standing grievances of taxation without
representation, leading to the Revolution, which led to the
United States, which led to California, which led to
Hollywood and the motion picture industry, which led,
ultimately, to this hard bitter little nut of a movie?"
Mike: That's a
good point. But I, I think it may have been a "hmm?"
question, as in, "Hmm? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, this
crappy movie was sitting on my head." (Tom laughs)
(excitedly) Hey! Say guys, it
just hit me, we're free to escape! Since Mike blew up the
(protesting) I didn't! I mean, I asked . . .
right, and since Mrs. Forester and the Brain Guy seem to be
tied up looking for Bobo...
Yeah, let's boogie!
Mike: OK, well,
here we go. (He moves over to the ignition switch)
(triumphantly) To infinity, and
(warning) Shh! Disney!
Uh, uh, some other places! (Mike tries to start the SOL, but
it won't turn over.)
Mike: Hmmm, it
doesn't seem to be turning over. I wonder what's going
(Pearl's driving, Observer is sitting
next to her.)
Pearl: What's goin' on? We got it goin' on, that's
what's goin' on, huh! How 'bout this guy here, huh? (points
to Observer) I say, "Hmmm, I sure would hate for those
8-balls on the satellite to escape." This beautiful man
right here says, "Let me handle it." He is holding you here
with his MIND, (points to her temple, Observer points to his
brain pan) you poor, dumb (bleeped)*! How
d'ya like that? How'd ya like this guy on your crew instead
of those yappy little tin cans you hang out with? (Observer
makes "yaketty-yaketty" motions with his hand) This guy is
(modestly) Why, thank you
Pearl: Tell ya
somethin' else, Nelsonni, this guy's gunnin' for ya!
(Observer sets down his brain, looking as angry as he can)
You blew up this man's WORRRLD, as I will continue to remind
him every chance I get! You whacked his planet, man! And he
is puh-lenty cheesed, let me tell you...
(furious) Yes! (points finger)
You have destroyed an ancient and proud race. My people! And
let me tell you that I will...
(interrupting, angry) I...was talking!!! Boy, everything's
about you, isn't it?
Observer (cowed): Well, well, well, I'm very sorry.
Pearl: (to SOL)
Anyway Nelson, you're mine! You'll never escape! Never!
(laughs diabolically, Observer joins in, lamely)
(tapping her on the shoulder): Excuse me, Malevolent One,
but hadn't we ought to go get Professor Bobo?
(thoughtfully) Hmm, that's a good idea. Say, could you hand
me the Cheez-its?
Why, certainly. (he hands her the
box of snack crackers)
Thanks. (starts hitting Observer with the box) I (whap) GIVE
(whap) THE (whap) ORDERS! (dumps Cheez-its into his brain
pan) Hey, we'd better go find Bobo. (Observer whimpers,
looking at his brain pan full of Cheez-its).
word was "shmucks"