Bit: Scary Story Time
Episode 809- I Was a Teenage Werewolf
Transcribed by Susan Paine.
(Pearl, Observer and Bobo are sitting around a campfire.)
Pearl: Awww, diddle liddle widdle babies get-um all scaredy-waredy?
Bobo: They were scared.. SCARED..
Observer: Really, Nelson, I am embarrassed for you.
Pearl: You think that was scary? I'll show you scary, toddlers. Gather 'round, everybody, it's time.
Bobo: Oh, it's scary story time!
Pearl: Warning! You may get the crud scared outta ya!
Observer: Crud. All right.
Pearl: Once upon a time --
Pearl: Once upon a time, there was a little gorilla.
Pearl: This little gorilla was very, very naughty.
Bobo: No, no!
Pearl: So one scary day, something very scary happened to this little gorilla!
Bobo: AHHH! NOOO! (Bobo hides under the quilt and shivers)
Observer: How absurd to be so easily frightened. It evidences a scant knowledge of the true workings of the universe.
Pearl: I agree, which is why I know you'll enjoy this next story.
Observer: I'm quite certain that I will. Please proceed.
Pearl: Once upon a time, there was a little boy in a robe and a hood. A little boy who carried his own brain around in a little bowl.
Observer: I..I think I know where you're going with this.
Pearl: This little brain boy never did what he was told.
Observer: Oh, really.
Pearl: One day, the little brain boy went away and never came back.
Observer: No..no! The universe wouldn't be so cruel! No! No!
Pearl: And do you know WHY he never came back?
Observer: Oh.. no. Why?
Pearl: Because he DIED!
(Observer hides under the quilt with Bobo, both shiver and say "NO!" "It's horrible!" "Oh, that's terrible!" "Noooo!")
Pearl: (to camera) Fish in a barrel. (to the shivering quilt) One day they mashed up his brain into hummus and the little gorilla ate it and it was poison and he DIED! (Pearl laughs maniacally, the others continue shrieking.)