Bit: Biography--the clonus horror Credits

Episode: 811- parts: the clonus horror

Transcription by

[In the theater]

(Mike and the Bots are reading the credits, in the style and voice of Peter Graves as host of Biography.)

Mike: Executive producer Walter Fiveson was a good friend of supervising executive producer Ray Dryden; they grew up together in a log cabin with a woman involved in casting, Susan Arnold.
Crow: But all was not as it seemed. The arrival of associate producer Peter "R.J." Deyell proved both groundbreaking and heartwrenching for the young Liverpudlians.
Mike: And then Co-producer Michael Lee and Carolyn Habel and Michael Lee and Paul Berkowitz and Joe Giannone and Robert Cummings and Michael Lacoe and some other guys and Harvey Pence...
Tom: I'll take it, Mike. The oddly-named Timaree McCormick, young and brilliant production assistant, developed an unhealthy fixation on Joe Blasco founder of the Joe Blasco Makeup School.
Crow: I'll take it now. Dwight LaVers, a name known to millions, yet a dark mystery to even his closest friends.
Mike: Tomorrow the fascinating world of M.A "Ma" Schreibman, who conquered his blindness to become one of the most sought-after visual consultants in the business.
Tom: The film stylings of Brogan de...Paul Sharp and Ted Keep, two crisply named young men, tonight on "Biography".
Crow: Freeze Frame: The J. Geils Band. Synonyms in the hearts of Americans everywhere.
Mike: Peter Graves. The underrated, underpaid incredibly handsome host of "Biography," tonight on "Biography."
Crow: Tonight on "Biography," Paulette Breen, who turned down perfectly innocent sexual advances from Peter Graves on the set of the movie Clonus, who will never work in this town again.
Tom: James Mantell, in a striking coincidence, shared a first name with the hulking expressionless pseudo-cowboy James Arness. James Arness. As a young boy, James Arness nurtured a howling bitterness in the face of the awesomely superior talent of his brother, Peter Graves.
Peter Graves' life and career were marked by a generosity of spirit and loving attitude towards his fellow man, which were altogether missing in the pitted soul of James Arness. Often, James Arness' mother would remark to friends that she loved her son Peter Graves so very, very much; while she hated James Arness and cursed the day her womb had been blighted with such a creature. "James Arness: Ugly and Stupid"...tonight on "Biography."