Bit: Mike meets Tom's Grandma
Episode 908- A Touch Of Satan
Transcribed by Dan Newton
(Mike is reading Henry Kissinger's
biography. As he is reading, a figure who appears to be
Servo, but dressed in an old gingham dress, with a touselled
wig of white hair and a pitchfork, creeps up to him.
Mumbling softly to herself, she begins poking Mike with the
pitchfork. At first he brushes her away, still reading.
Finally, he notices her.)
Mike (shocked): Ahhh! (She
attacks him. He drops the book and starts fighting with her.
Ahhh! Hey! Who are you? Servo stop it! What are you doing?
Servo! For Heaven's sake! (Tom enters, humming to
Tom: Hi, Mike,
what are you... (sees Grandma Servo) What? Grandma! Darn it,
Grandma, stop! Now I told you no! Jeez, I'm sorry, Mike.
(Grandma stops attacking Mike.)
Mike: Wait a
minute, this is your Grandma?
Tom: Sure is,
Mike. Isn't she spry?
Mike: When did
you get a Grandma? (Touches pitchfork tines.) Ow! Stay
Tom: I have two
Grandmas Mike, I always have. The other one doesn't kill
people, though. This one does. That's how I tell 'em apart.
(Grandma throws herself at Mike again.)
down, down Grandma. I guess it's OK, I mean, couldn't you
get her a TV or something?
Tom: Hold on a
second. What's that, Grandma? (She babbles to him) Big?
Slow? Tempting target? Huh, believe me, I know! But you just
can't, OK? (Grandma and Tom chuckle together.) Well, I tell
you what, Mike, I'm just going to leave you two alone to
start all over with each other, all right? (He leaves.)
No! Servo! Don't!
Oh, she's full of stories, Mike, have a good time! (Mike
holds Grandma Servo at arm's length. She very aggresively
keeps lunging at him.)
Grandma) Ah! Hey! Hey! Get away from me! (To Cambot) We'll
be right back! (To Grandma) Back off, lady! (She mumbles to
him) What? What? (She motions him closer, he bends down to
her) I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. What? (She throws
herself at him, biting and stabbing him.) Ow! Ow! Hey! Lady!
Stop it! Stop it! Stop! Now back! Down, down, down