Bit: LOOTING ON THE SOL/PEARL'S INDIVIDUALIZED WORLD
Episode 910- The Final Sacrifice
(M&TB are on the bridge. Mike is
drinking coffee and holding a message from Gypsy.)
Mike: Mmm, hi everyone. Crow, Servo, glad you're
Mike: Just got
this notice from Gypsy. Apparently she's got to work on the
Main Switching Unit. I don't know. So in a couple of
minutes, the power's gonna go down.
Tom: Yes! Woo-hoo! Ha ha ha!
Mike: Hey, hey,
hey, I know what you're thinking, and no looting this time,
(Lights go off. There are sounds of
breaking glass, things being moved around, 'bots laughing,
etc. Lights come back on. Crow is on one side of Mike
holding a TV. Servo is on the other side, holding a bag of
empty cans and bottles.)
Mike: (resigned) All right, what did you loot?
Crow: Well I
broke into my room, managed to get away with my TV. Heh,
heh, heh, heh! I'll never miss it!
Mike: Huh, OK.
Tom: Well, I
threw a mannequin through your window Mike.
Mike: Wait, wait, wait, wait, where'd you get a
Tom: Oh I keep
one for power outages. Anyway, I threw it through your
window. Managed to get away with your recycling here. Hmmm.
I'm not a very good looter, am I?
Mike: No, no
Mike: We'll be
Crow: If it goes
out again I'm grabbing my blender.
(Back to SOL. Mike's alone on the bridge,
still drinking coffee. Loud sound of breaking glass. Servo
Mike: All right, what did you loot now?
Tom: Loot? Oh, ha
ha no, no looting. I just accidentally dropped an anvil into
your box of commemorative plates. (Castle calls) Oh, hey
look, Pearl's calling. Wanna get that?
(Pearl, in front of her family's
coat-of-arms, is raving, awash in dreams of grandeur.
Pearl: And then I will rule the world! (laughs
maniacally. thunder crashes. suddenly, Pearl drops
nonchalantly out of character) That needs a little
background, doesn't it? The deal is, Smellson, I'm going to
rule the world, but, you don't rule the world by going at it
all scatter shot. Nope. Slow and steady wins the race, old
nut. So, I'm going to rule the world, but I'm going to do
it, one. . .person. . .at a time! (laughs maniacally.
thunder crashes) Now, who's first?
(Observer enters, hauling in a man by the
scruff of the neck.)
Observer: Get in
here! A Mr. Todd Gunderson, ma'am.
Uh, Todd's fine.
Todd, good. (circling him) Well Todd, what do ya say, can I
rule ya? Can I, huh, can I?
Todd: Rule me?
(frustrated) Nnnn! (reconsidering) What if I said I'd kill
ya if you didn't let me?
Todd: Um, I'm
sorry, I really don't feel that threatened.
(angry) Get out of here! (throws
him aside) Next!
(Observer enters with Servo.)
Observer: A Mr.
Tom Servo, ma'am.
Tom: (to camera):
Hey, guys, here I am! (Chuckles; to Pearl) Glad to be of
(Mike and Crow look around,
Tom: (to camera) Yep, it's me! Brain Guy brought me
down. My name was next on the list. Totally random! It's
Pearl: So, Tom
Servo, what do you say, cannn. . .
Tom: What, what,
Pearl: (trying to
remember if she's seen him before) Don't I know you from
Tom: It could be.
I do get around, heh heh!
The Tom Jones Theater in Branson,
Missouri. (poking her finger into his chest) You tried to
steal my purse, and I beat you within an inch--
Tom: (quickly) No
no no, must've been some other lucky guy. Heh heh!
Pearl: Well, it's
not important. (pause) Can I rule you?
Sorry baby, nobody rules the Tom monster!
fists in frustration) Damn! Your defenses are impenetrable!
Brain Guy, (Observer enters) send Mike the movie while I
figure out this whole world-ruling thing.
Certainly. (to camera) Mike, your movie today is, if one can
measure these things, (gravely) the worst thing to ever come
out of Canada!
called, "The Final Sacrifice". (sound effect of movie being
sent up to SOL) Uh, ma'am, may I have the robot?
minded) Oh, yes.
need him for the movie.
Tom: (to Pearl)
So long, toots! (to Observer) Take me up, Curley!
(disdainful) Wha? Curley? Well I-- (He leaves with Servo.
Pearl looks after them, still trying to remember
(Servo runs onto empty bridge, out of
Tom: Here I am guys! Guys?
theater): We're in the theater!
Tom: D'oh! [Movie