Satellite News -- Ward E -- BitK07

Bit: The Mads First Transmission

Episode: K07- Gamera vs. Zigra

Transcribed by Joe Raygor


Joel: Welcome to the Satellite Of Love. It's a big day up here, isn't it guys?

Tom: Absolutely!

Crow: ... Big Day, Big Day

Joel: Because the guys who hold my destiny in their hands: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Lawrence Erhardt, are about to send me a transmission. (Pause)

Tom: Also, they are the two men responsible for marooning you in space!

Crow: Yeah, and the two guys who keep sending you those "Gamera" movies! Who-hoo!!

Joel: C'mon you guys, be nice. It's the new years, it's time to forgive and forget. Besides they might be sending us news of were going to be sen... going home. (A musical tone is heard.)

Joel: Oh, there's the transmission now, you guys chill out, okay?

(Cut to the mads, who are in informal dress shirts, in some sort of control room with TV monitors in the background and other various props and a crate of Pepsi.)

Dr. F: (No mustache and a much more deeper voice) Hello, Joely-boy-toy! Is it true what they say about space?!


Joel: Uh, What's that, sir?


Erhardt: That no one can hear you laugh!! (Mads begin to laugh)


Joel: Uh, Happy New Year, doctors?


Dr. F: Don't "Happy New Year" me, you white-piece-of-trash-floating-in-the-vaccum-of-space. We just heard that the Russians have launched their own comedian into space and he is already pulling a four rating... (Cut to a clip of a standup comedian standing in front of a cartoon space backdrop.)

Russian Comedian: (Holding his hand up like a hand puppet and talking to it) This is my friend, Bishi. Bishi, how are you? I am fine (Chuckle). How is your wife, Bishi? She is fine but her neck hurts (Puts down hand, chuckles some more), thank you so much... (Cut back to Gizomonic.)

Erhardt: ... and he's a regular Gallager too! It's called "Very Incredible Movie Theater 4"!


Joel: Dr. Erhardt and Dr. Forrester, would it be too much to ask if you could let me and my friends know when we'll be getting out of space?


Dr. F: Sure, Joely-Poley. Were planning a show for you right now here on Earth !


Joel: (Curious) Really ?


Dr. F: Yeah, booby. It's about... a guy and three robots and they're submerged deep in the Trans-Alantic trench, three miles under the ocean surface and we send him transmission after transmission of Jacques Custeau movies. (Dr. Erhardt begins to loudly laugh, followed by Dr. Forrester and both start to laugh maniacally.)


Crow: What a couple of dickweeds. (Mockingly laughs at them)

Joel: Hey Crow, hush up! Listen... thanks but no thanks doc, we'll get used being out here in space for a little more time. (Joel's obviously disappointed.)

Tom: Um, excuse me, uh, how long are you gonna keep going to send us those gosh darn Turtle movies?!


Erhardt: Don't "Gosh darn" me, you little snack headed piece of tin foil! (points at the camera) You'll keep watching Gamera movies (Picks up a stack of tapes) untill we get through all these !!! ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Give 'em a commercial Clayton! (Both laugh again. Dr. Forrester, wearing a leather glove, points up and then presses a button that fades into commercial.)