Bit: The Storm Shelter (Deleted Scene from MST3K:TM)
Submitted by Jack Theakston
The following is taken directly from the shooting script for the scenes that were later deleted from "MST3K: The Movie." There may be some small discrepancies from the actual scenes as they were shot.
(Mike and the Bots head for the bridge. We hear a pinging sound, like hail on a tin roof..)
Mike, Crow and Tom (imitating Cal from the movie): Ruth! Ruth! (They hear the noise.)
Mike: Wait a moment!
Tom: The hell... who's makin' popcorn?
Mike (concerned): I don't know, Tom; sounds like a meteor shower... (There is a deafening slam. The ship shudders from the collision, and Mike and the Bots are jolted off balance.]
Tom: Okay, maybe it's not popcorn... (Startled, Mike runs for the bridge, Crow and Servo in tow.)
Crow: Mike, did you hit the Hubbell again?
(Mike and Servo hurry to join Gypsy at a window.)
Gypsy: Incoming!!! (They watch as a huge meteor rolls by the window. They are rocked by another slam.) Mike, do we have a southwest corner? (Crow bursts onto the bridge. He is in full Trevor Howard mode. He blows a shrill air raid whistle.)
Crow (in a British accent): R-R-RIGHT! Everyone for the shelter, the Huns are pounding London again! (In mid sentance, Crow is grabbed by Mike and carried into the storm shelter.)
(They are below decks in a cramped shelter. Gypsy and Mike secure the hateches. Servo rifles through a food container and Crow sings softly.)
Crow: We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when... (Servo joins him, cradling a can of hash.)
Tom: Finally, a good excuse to eat hash.
Mike: Don't worry everyone, we're perfectly safe down here. (There is a hideous slam. Servo drops his can.)
Tom: My hash! (Close up on the shelter wall: The wall has buckled from the force of collision. Gypsy eyes the air supply guage, which is rapidly dwindling.)
Gypsy: Mike! We're losing air fast!
Crow: So what? Who needs air?
Mike (flabbergasted): I do! (Urgent but in control.) We have to restore the air so I can... (lack of oxygen begins to affect him.) I can... go to... Gramma's... She's so nice... She smells like feet but she makes the bestest fudge, hee-hee-heee... (Mike begins to slip down the wall, drooling, giggling.)
Tom: Oh, great, now what do we do?
Crow: PANIIIIIIC! AAAAAAUGH! (Crow runs wildly in circles. Servo breaks down crying, blubbering.)
Gypsy (comforting Mike): It's okay honey, yes, Gypsy's here. Now listen Servo! We're got to resuscitate Mike!
Tom (blubbering): I'll never see my turtle again! (Servo staggers around, blubbering and useless.)
Gypsy: Oh, great. Crow!
Crow (startled): Aaugh!
Gypsy: Activate the bypass!
Crow: Roger! (Crow scurries over to the bypass panel. It is blocked by a massive fallen girder.) Oh, perfect. Just what I need. Ten tons of molybdenum! (Crow bends, strains and lifts the huge girder. It takes all his strength.) Tom! Get over here and push this button! (Crow is shuddering and straining. A rivit pops out of his elbow.) Oh, boy. That's not good. Anytime, Servo!
Gypsy (angrily): Tom, Mike is gonna die!
Tom (steeling himself): Of course! What was I thinking? Mike! I'm cominnnn! (Servo launches himself across the room and slams his head right into the big red button, just as Crow's arms give way and the girder crashes down. Close up on Gypsy. Air pours through Gypsy's tubing and hisses out of her mouth.)
Gypsy: And now, sweet, Mike, the breath of life! (Gypsy opens wide and covers Mike's head with her mouth. Mike gasps, sputters and gulps in the air.)
Tom: He's alive! Alive!
Mike: Umm, Gypsy? Why is my head in your mouth? (Mike pulls his head away from Gypsy's mouth.) Thanks, you guys!
Tom (cocky):Well, it was pretty much me, Mike.
Crow: Servo, you cried like Oxana Bauil!
Mike: Wait! Shhhh! Listen... (The ship is quiet, tranquil.)
Gypsy: .The storm has passed! (Mike & the bots emerge from the storm shelter. They are bathed in a warm, sunny light.) It's beautiful!
Mike: What would I do without you guys?
Dr. F (voice over, barking on a horn near the movie sign warning light): You'd still be my test subject. Now if you're done clowning around, get into that theater and watch the rest of "This Island Earth"! (The movie sign lights flash and as they scatter. The camera races through the doors into position for the movie.)