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Weekend Discussion Thread: “But There Was No…”Alert regular Perry suggests…
But there was no fat barkeep… Keep those WDT suggestions coming! 89 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: “But There Was No…””Commenting at Satellite News
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All content posted on Satellite News is copyright © 2026 by Chris Cornell and Brian Henry, except where otherwise noted. This Date in MSTory is written and compiled by Steve Finley, Chris Cornell and Brian Henry. Copyright © 2026 All rights reserved. Please do not reproduce This Date in MSTory items in any form without express written permission from the authors. Items of MST3K news may be duplicated or reposted, as long as Satellite News is cited as the source. The views and opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Satellite of Love, LLC. No warranty is expressed or implied that the information given herein is completely accurate, and in fact this information can and will change at any time. So there. Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyrights and trademarks of Satellite of Love, LLC. Banner image created by Larry Lee Moniz. |
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But there was no terror in the Creeping Terror.
But there was no Gaybar in Time of the Apes.
But there was no stew… no corn… no green peppers…
But there was no helmet-wearing gorilla. Actually, that kind of is how it ended.
But there was no moon in Rocketship X-M…
But there was no TORCHAA!! In Teenagers From Outer Space.
But there was no BOLD in Mike’s Ricochet Barbecue Sauce.
But there was no Space Chief; there was only Barely Off the Stupid Ground Chief…..
But there was no Pumaman. Or, at least, there may as well not have been. His hypercompetent sidekick did most of the real work.
But there was no Winky. Think about it.
But there was no Teenage Strangler. Or maybe no teenager strangled?
But there was no football game in “Superdome”. At least, none that we saw. For all we know, they all left right after the National Anthem and went for some catfish.
But there was no Teenage Caveman. Just a very embarrassed Robert Vaughn dressed as a “Flintstones” character.
Don’t start with me.
Last night we watched Cry Wilderness.
But there was no Bigfoot…wait, we saw him. But we also saw his exact replica at the beginning…footprints on the moon…how did he get there?
But there was no horrible headmaster, awaiting Paul’s return, just a kindly old man who wanted to meet Bigfoot….
But there was no Red Hawk…
But there was no tiger…and no circus…and no script…
We are damaged beyond repair. Returning to base…
Technically, in the end, there were no Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. There were, instead, some Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Became Mixed-Up Zombies, then got shot and, thus, Stopped Living.
‘The Dead Talk Back’
But there was no dead. Just a dork with a bunch of pseudo-science.
But there was no Manos of primal darkness. It was just a really complicated episode of “Candid Camera” that got out of hand. The director thought the final scene where Allan Funt came out and explained it all to Michael was hilarious, but it got cut for running time.
But there was no riding with death. Nobody died, and besides, the explosion that was touted as being able to level an entire town turned out to be not much worse than when the small, mostly empty local fireworks stand blew up on the 4th of July. However, I will grant you that perhaps some New England journalists were run over and killed in the second half of the movie by Buffalo Bill’s erratic driving.
But there weren’t many robots in the Robot Holocaust. Like 4? Does dark-won even oven count? Did valaria end up being one or just have a spray tan accident.
Ator the Flying Eagle: But there was no incest. At least not the genetic variety.
but there was no undergarments for the Chicken Men of Krankor…
But there was no murder. Carrie walks out of the woods alive and well, marries Big Stupid, and they live happily ever after. Oh, and there were pygmies, I think.
As if a switch had been turned, as if an eye had been blinked, as if some phantom force in the universe had made a move eons beyond our comprehension, suddenly, there was no Lost Kingdom! There was no sequel, no wizard, no thing called “Caedmon” to be followed.
But there was no “Future”; and no “War”, either, just a oddly unthreatening plaid-clad street gang knocking over some toy dinos. Nor was there really any nunning, either, despite the alleged vocation of the alleged heroine. While we’re at it, there was also no value for their “big stuff” weapons dollar: some M80s, what looks like a back-door screen attached to a floor lamp, and a few standard-issue assault rifles you can get cheap at any Walmart. Finally, there was no sense at all to a “plot” that had more disparate ingredients than Johnny Longbone’s stew.
But there was no shocking horror in the The Screaming Skull. In fact, there was no screaming skull in The Screaming Skull–the only screaming was done by the peacocks and the poor wife, and all the skulls did was drop and roll and pop up in odd places. (By the way, I think it would’ve been more shocking and horrible if the psycho hubby had been compelled to hold one of the peacocks up to his throat . . . )
But there were no parents to accuse.
But there was no Seventh Curse…
But there was no mummy… just a lame, styrofoam-headed alien
But there was no Russian invasion…
But there was no Boggy Creek monster… only Crenshaw
But there were no snakes to watch out for…?
Like the guy said at the store…..”trust me, there ain’t no monster….”
There’s only Crenshaw.
(In Servo’s voice) But there was no Merritt Stone in The Rebel Set!
But there was no monster….
But there were no springs…
But there was no Sampo and Erhardt
Actually, my first thought was a different take on the WDT topic — more with regard to current events — but everything that initially came to mind was too political (and mind you, I am an equal-opportunity offender).
Still, I guess it might be safe to say…
“… but there was no government.”
;-)
But there was no Thursday episode discussions for Season 12.
But there was no IT and it didn’t CONQUER anything….there was a big pickle who lived in a cave and killed Beverly Garland..
But there was no monster in Bride of the Monster…just a immobile octopus.
But there were no Beatniks….
But there were no buffalo shots for Gumby (because he has no hinder, ya know).
But there was no baby oil. Mitchell was just another ’70s anti-hero cop…
And Linda Evans escaped unscathed…
And Deaney wasn’t killed offscreen…
And Cummings talked to Mistretta, and they both talked it out with Gallano…
And the old lady got home safe with her fine washables…
AND ANDY KAUFMAN WASN’T BLOWN AWAY BY A SALAMI DROPPED FROM THE HEAVENS!!!
But there was no Hollow Mountain. It was solid granite.
… but there were no teenagers, either cavemen or from outer space.
but there was no Emerson, Lake and Powell (Palmer’s replacement)…..
since they are all dead now
There was no Time Chaser. Just a big-chinned dork that kissed his airplane, and dated a chick that drove a K-car.
But there were no Women of the Prehistoric Planet…No, really, there weren’t!
but there was no Joel and Mike flame war….
…but there was Noh Theater…
but there were no waffles…
I think you’re on to something. I imagined:
Kim and her sisters were found living quietly in Kansas City. For there are no Kardashians to keep up with, just an extended family who serves their community without attracting attention to themselves.
There was nothing in the tunnel but the puzzled boy wizards-in-training, who suddenly found themselves alone with shadows and darkness! With the scrying pool, one cloud lifts, and another descends. Conqueror Kor, rescued, alive, hungover, and of normal size, some 8,000 miles away in a tavern, with no memory of where he has been, or how he was separated from his …let’s say quest!
So true, and
Nice!