|
 |
Weekend Discussion Thread: Your Favorite Wimp“M Sipher” wrote in the comments for this week’s episode guide entry:
No, we haven’t, so let’s! Who’s your favorite wimp in an MST3K movie or short? I’m gonna have to go with Buzz from “Mr. B Natural.” Ineffectual and a little creepy, he’s really no better at the end of the short, except he can play an instrument. What’s yours? 119 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Your Favorite Wimp”Commenting at Satellite News
We are determined to encourage thoughtful discussion, so please be respectful to others. We also provide an "Ignore" button ( Comments are closed. |
|
Satellite News is a fan site for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 television and Netflix series. It is an independent publication written and compiled by Chris Cornell (msampo@aol.com) and Brian Henry (erhardt4@aol.com). Satellite of Love, LLC does not maintain this web site, nor is it responsible for this site's content.
All content posted on Satellite News is copyright © 2026 by Chris Cornell and Brian Henry, except where otherwise noted. This Date in MSTory is written and compiled by Steve Finley, Chris Cornell and Brian Henry. Copyright © 2026 All rights reserved. Please do not reproduce This Date in MSTory items in any form without express written permission from the authors. Items of MST3K news may be duplicated or reposted, as long as Satellite News is cited as the source. The views and opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Satellite of Love, LLC. No warranty is expressed or implied that the information given herein is completely accurate, and in fact this information can and will change at any time. So there. Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyrights and trademarks of Satellite of Love, LLC. Banner image created by Larry Lee Moniz. |
|
) to help our users cope with "trolls" and other commenters whom they find annoying. Go to our
Hmmm… first that comes to mind is Danny from The Girl in Lovers’ Lane. “Once again, Big saves Danny from a heterosexual experience”…
Also, the husband from It Lives By Night. “Taking action is for EFFECTIVE people”… “Trying to save yourself is undignified!”… “My weak chin will get us through this.”
Tony Farms from The Puma Man might be my favorite wimp — he’s clearly an adult in his 30s, yet he whines like a 9-year-old who was told to go mow the lawn on a hot day. He has little strength of his own and screws up everything. He’s flippant about the religion his mentor observes, and the only way to make him look good is to have his love interest show even less personality.
Second up? Arch Hall Junior — just for yelling “Roxy!!” for much of the movie and getting pummeled by Richard Kiel.
Oh, this is a tough one. Tony Farms from Pyuma Man? Troy MacGregor from The Final Sacrifice? Mikey from Teenage Strangler? The Elton John lookalike antiquer from Squirm? Sex Poodle (Big Stupid’s sidekick) from Girl in Lovers’ Lane? Kyle (the weirdo in the red shorts) from Hobgoblins?
I just can’t decide…..
@ 2 I’ll give you Arch.
Other choices for me would be:
1. Watney from Outlaw – I know I propped him for top sidekick but only becuase of his wimpiness to make the hero seem that much better.
2. Mikey the bike thief in Teenage Strangler
3. Troy, Zap Rowsdower’s buddy/sidekick (or is it the other way around) in Final Sacrafice.
4. Would the Paper Chase Guy count as a wimp? Or is more just whiny to the point of wimpiness?
5. Pretty much most of the crew in Women of the Prehistoric Planet
I’ll go with Mick from Squirm. The scenes with him and his shirt off are great!
Martin Gordon / Vic Savage a.k.a. Art J. Nelson, the sheriff, from the Creeping Terror! When his uncle crawled into the space ship and proceeded to scream, his brave NEPHEW, and deputy, was wetting his pants and pushing his wife out of the way to jump in the car and drive away. You can practically see the piddle trail. His wife showed more guts than his skinny frame could ever contain. Throughout the film, this yellow bellied, cig sucking tool stays WAY clear of the “Terror” despite the fact that a casual stroll would be an effective escape plan. Oh, he did get a promotion out of it at least.
Movie wimps:
– The husband in Manos screws up so badly it costs him and his family everything. He insisted they stay at the house with Torgo because he was tired of driving around. After meeting Torgo, would anyone else have insisted on staying at that house. What an idiot!
– The astronaut “heroes” in King Dinosaur. Instead of studying and documenting the “alien” wild life, they nuke it. Not exactly a great exploration.
– Mikey in Teenage Strangler.
– The head scientist in Rocketship X-M. He can’t even admit his calculations might be wrong and that those of his female colleague may be correct and that gets them all killed.
Mikey from Teenage Strangler is my favorite.
Also-rans are Tommy Kirk in Village of the Giants, and Pete, from Bloodlust! Tommy lets the giant ducks wander away, lets the goo get stolen, gets knocked around, etc. Good job, Tommy! As for Pete, well, at least he seems to make an effort to cope with their situation on the island…he just can’t help being a puss.
I vote Alien from LA’s Wanda, who was able to triumphantly overcome her geekiness and need for glasses. Plus, she was a lot easier on the eyes than anybody else in this category.
The hotel manager in “Beatniks” went from “my goodness, you’ll pay for this” to “you you can count on my discretion” in less than a minute.
My favorite is Tony “Do you have a small whiny warehouse for me?” Farms from Puma Man. ROWSDOWER has to be high on any list. Japanese movies are loaded with them. There could be a separate thread just for them. Jet Jaguar, “Lower Atmosphere Chief” from Invasion of the Neptune Men, and of course the Prince of Space and Krankor and their fey “We fillled our pants, sir!” outfits are just the tip of the iceberg.
Others that come to mind are the laziest man on Mars, Dropo. “Ha ha ha. Kill him”, “Would you forgot the skidmarks!” Sheriff from Giant Gila Monster, and Derek from Teenagers from Outer Space. I gotta stop. I’m stealing other peoples glory!
@ 9 NMS
I thought about her but she faced her fears, saved her dad and then….took off her glasses.
@ 7 Not B (ob)
Forgot about the husband.
Hmmm…
-No list of wimps would be complete without the Japanese scientists in Prince of Space. Their cowering, their constant cries of “MACKIN!”, and their ability to be terrorized by a being named “Krankor.”
-Favorite wimp would probably be Troy from Final Sacrifice. He does things with a minimum of whining and tries to accomplish something noble.
-Contrast his attitude with “The Puma Man,” brilliantly described by #2. Poor Vadinho had to do all the work!
So yeah, my favorites are probably these three.
Sampo, I think you’re being unfair to Buzz – he played trumpet after all, the most manly of musical instruments, and over the years that trumpet would drain the wimpiness from his frame, turning him into the virile specimen of masculinity that all male trumpet players are! (It has a different but similar effect on women players – enhances their beauty, and makes them strong of character.)
If only Troy from Final Sacrifice wold have taken up the trumpet; then he wouldn’t have to run all over Canada with some guy named Rowsdower, clutching his Larry Czonka picture. Or Mikey from Teenage Strangler; he would have been poppin’ high C’s instead of stealing and squealing. Or Tony Farms, the Puma Man; he could ave had a much better Pumaman suit made for himself, a la Doc Severinsen. Or Watney from Outlaw, who …. OK, trumpet playing can’t save everybody.
One name I forgot: Wormy Guy! (Rex Reason’s assistant from This Island Earth)
“Cal! Don’t do it! I beg you!”
Mikey from Teenage Strangler.
How about Larry(aka: Mighty Boy or the chin)from “Are You Ready for Marriage?” First he lets Sue talk him into getting married, then when he suggest eloping, he lets Sue talk him out of it(because she wants the showers and the ceremony–we’ve all been there, right guys?). Then they go visit Herman Munster (aka: Dr. Ruben Hill), who spend his days playing with his homemade marriage toys (insert your own joke here).
Oh and let’s not forget Moon from “The Beatniks.” After killing off “that fat barkeep” (who talks that way?) and stabbing poor Mr. Bayless, runs around screaming like a girl!
My pick is Buffalo Bill from “Riding With Death.” He can’t fight his own fights, he can’t race his own races, he’s constantly making wird yelping noises, and in the finale he sings a love song to Ben Murphy.
But who could blame him for the last one, really?
And in honor of our new “Final Sacrifice” DVD release, I’ll give a runner-up nod to Troy for eating bread off the floor. But let’s face it, he’s not really all that wimpy. After all, he out-raced a car on a ten-speed, which is no easy feat and puts him one up on Buffalo Bill.
It’s gotta be Arch Hall, Jr. from Eegah. Always whining about his stupid dune buggy…
The first ones that come to mind for me are:
Arch Hall Jr. in “Eegah,” Jimmy in “I Accuse My Parents,” and Nick in “Time Chasers.”
In the shorts it has to be John in “Cheating.”
#1 for me would be Jimmy Wilson from ‘I Accuse My Parents’. So much of his troubles could have been avoided if he just grew a spine and stopped lying to everyone.
I would also have to add Kevin from ‘Hobgoblins’. He gets beaten with a garden rake, berated by his girlfriend, menaced by puppets, and has to have the old security guard save the day at the end.
A special mention also goes to the male rape victim from ‘The Violent Years’, although, in his defense, he was being held at gunpoint. (How much he willingly cooperated is left to the viewers discretion.)
I would say Arch. The kid in Mr. B Natural is a pretty good choice too, now that I think of it. One of my friends and I always make fun of his trumpet solo. I love when in the scene with the slow song at the dance, Servo makes fun of the solo, going “buhduhduhduhbuhduhduhduh…oh”. Priceless!
Leave Robert Denby alone!!!
Gebar, or Gaybar from Time of the Apes- always wanting to kill, always whining, and always getting things wrong.
Runner up- Jimmy Wilson, my favorite shoe salesman and liar.
Hey, AlbuquerqueTurkey – I don’t think the trumpet would have helped Troy much. Ever seen the Canadian Brass perform Swan Lake while wearing tutus?
Anyways, to contribute to the weeks discussion, I nominate the entire male cast of WILD WILD WORLD OF BATWOMAN – except dude on the beach who flips off the camera.
There’s some pretty wimpy performances in ANGEL’S REVENGE, too.
I would go with Jimmy from I Accuse my Parents because the gid isnt very bright and only realizes how dumb he is too late
There’s a lotta love to spread around in this category. Of course, Arch Hall Jr. is getting top marks from me, but there are just so many others to choose from. Troy from Final Sacrifice, Mikey from Teenage Strangler, Puma Man, Wormy Guy from Gunslinger, the kid from Cheating, Paul from Track of the Moon Beast….
Thank you M “insert riff here” Sipher, this is going to be one funny thread! :mrgreen:
Pure reading bliss!
Surely there’s room on this list for “Tim”, from Boggy Creek 2. Any pale, concave-chested fellow who needs to be strung up in a tree at night to avoid predators is the textbook definition of “Ineffectual”. Oh, wait.. I forgot. You can still put him in front to absorb the first hail of bullets, so he has at least ONE purpose.
Lets be honest, most MST3K movies “heroes” tend to be wimps. This is probably reflects the movie makers’ life.
That said, The Time Chasers hero (what’s his name?) would get my vote.
Oh yes, Pink Boy too.
That’s easy – Mikey from “Teenage Strangler.”
Some of the biggest laughs of the series are on account of him.
Also, DOCTOR! TED! NELSON!
His greatest feat throughout the entire course of “The Incredible Melting Man” is griping at his wife about crackers.
How about Squeemy Ellis from Indestructible Man? He was a frightened chicken the whole movie and screamed like a girl when Butcher Benton lifted him and threw him over the railing.
Tim from Boggy Creek. Probably still eating bologna as we speak.
Completely forgot about McConan from Phantom Planet. Flowery speeches have never been SO flowery.
@ 15: Wormy’s name was Joe. I don’t know if he was important enough to have been given a last name in the “script”. Maybe his voice wasn’t deep enough.
I completely agree with all the votes for Troy (Final Sacrifice) and Mikey (Teenage Strangler)- I am a firm believer that these two are long lost conjoined twins who both made their way to the silver screen to haunt us with their sunken chests and string bean-y arms.
My vote goes to Krankor – all he did was laugh riotously at everyone but the minute he’s in danger, he wet his leotard and ran. The only proactive thing he did was throw his doll at Prince of Space and as we all know “Their weapons are useless against him!!”
Another honorable mention goes to the writer for Monster A-Go-Go – after all, he was too much of a wimp to write and ending for his “horror movie”. He just decided there was never a monster so everything’s fine.
Gotta throw in the kid from the WHAT TO DO ON A DATE short, too. And maybe Touch Connors’ gator bait date from the beginning of SWAMP DIAMONDS (although it was her idea to tag along…)
-Mikey from Teenage Strangler
-Tim from Boggy Creek II
-Dropo from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Tim from Boggy, totally, even his instant catch phrase is weak!
Having watched American Gladiators this morning with Larry Czonka I have to go with Troy from Final Sacrifice.
1. Troy McGreggor, Man i´m 25 i hope i hit puberty soon!
2. Nick Miller, Did somebody tape a dinner roll to his chin or?
3. Tony Farms, Are pumas also known for there whining?
4. Kevin, Paint my muscle car prune color please.
5. Joe Wilson, G.I. Joe Action Set. Nerdy Joe not included.
Since I just watched Final Sacrifice last night I am keenly aware of Troy’s wimpiness. I also like Mikey from Teenage Strangler.
I’m surprised I haven’t seen a vote for the pasty, chinless clone who was supposed to be our hero in PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR. One of my favortie riffs of all time is Tom Servo’s wbiny grunting accompanying our hero’s desperate and ill-fated bicycle ride near the film’s climax.
Great chuckles thus far.
I previously nominated the cowardly tin man from the Creeping Terror and stand by (reluctantly) my choice!
For the Non-Human category I nominate The Creeping Terror! How could a terrifying creature from an other world be wimpy? Heres how;
1. It ‘Creeps’ all right! It is sooooo excruiatingly slow. The ‘Terror’ is that the scene will never end!
2. Vehicles with ’23 skiddo’ spray painted on it are in danger of sexual assault by the ‘Terror’.
3. Potential victims are to congregate in small tight areas/rooms with one door.
4. Potential victims are to trip, stumble, jump, roll, run, flip, skate, bicycle, drive, rail, sail, slide, fly, soar, coast directly into the immediate area in front of the ‘Creeping Terror’.
5. In the event that the ‘Terror’ is momentarily sated, victims are expected to place themselves within the intake orifice and kick their legs vigorously.
6. When not performing 3, 4 & 5 all potential victims must flee no faster than a 90 yr old mall walker.
7. Last but not least, the second ‘Terror’ did not leave the ship because it couldn’t unbuckle its seatbelt!
I can’t of a wimpier menace.
I gotta nominate Frankie from The Skydivers. Getting slapped around by Lumpy Butt when he begins to weasel out of putting acid in the parachutes and for getting his own butt whipped by stone faced cardoza…in the quietest fight scene ever filmed.
“Wormy” from Gunslinger, and the young Grimalt prince in Viking Women and the Sea Serpent (“But I’m a Grimalt warrior!”)
Cornjob from Gamera vs Guiron. He may be nice, but boy does he get picked on.
Wanda from The Jungle Goddess: She may be a goddess, but she can’t walk through the forest without spraining her ankle. Maybe she needed more french fried potato’s?
Mikey from Teenage Strangler: Just look at him. What a wimp!
820-Space Mutiny
Dave Ryder
Screams like a girl, bails out of the golf cart before impact (and his spaceship at the beginning of the film without saving that doctor/captain) and roasts a disabled man.
Mikey from “Teenage Strangler” was great. And he didn’t steal no bike neither!!!
Gotta be Mikey from Teenage Strangler.