Just a few days ago, I was minding my own business watching Overdrawn at the Memory Bank when the scene came on with Apollonia reprimanding Fingal for spending – what, several days? – “making love” with Felicia. Raul Julia turns on the smolder in that scene, and suddenly I found myself sitting up and thinking, “Why, HELLO, Mr. Julia. How YOU doin’?” I was sort of both amused and disgusted with myself. I mean, it IS a young Raul Julia we’re talking about here, but, on the other hand, it’s Raul Julia in Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, so…
So my question is, what’s your most embarrassing crush on an actor/actress in an MST movie? I feel like Raul Julia isn’t TOO embarrassing, actually, so I’ll also submit the floppy-haired indeterminately European Paul from “Werewolf.” I should know better, I really should, but the heart (or whatever it is) wants what the heart wants.
No question: Mary Beth Hughes, especially in “Last of the Wild Horses.” She can saddle me up anytime.
How about you? Oh, and keep it PG-13, okay?
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is it ever possible top Kathy Ireland?
Another fan of Mary Beth Hughes here, especially her cowgirl tomboy look in Last of the Wild Horses. Wow!
Terri from Teenage Crime-Wave. Her haircut is very cute.
Mila from Cave Dwellers.
The Queen (Troxartis’ wife) from Deathstalker III.
Surprised Torgo didn’t make the list…
MST3K crushes that I’m not embarrassed about in the slightest: Reb Brown and Cisse Cameron in SPACE MUTINY. And damn near everyone in THIS ISLAND EARTH.
Things I’m kind of embarrassed about but I already mentioned it on RATMM lo these many years ago so I might as well say it again: Forrester smothering TV’s Frank with a pillow during an invention exchange in MASTER NINJA I is hot, and I don’t care who knows it.
The easily-surprised beauty from “Design for Dreaming”. My God what a stunner.
This is indeed embarrassing…
I’ve had a secret crush on Deathstalker for a while.
I always thought Vivian Schilling was very attractive. Any woman who can milk a single bath scene like that is alright in my book.
And since Mary Jo apparently hasn’t shown up, on the male side of the aisle I have to say DABONE!
Jonathan Haze.
I have to go with Big Stupid too! He’s cute and he’s tough. Yeah he’s kind of a jerk but still he’s nice looking and was definitely the best of all the choices in Sherman.
Linda from “Women of the Prehistoric Planet”.
Livia from “The Undead”.
Apollonia from “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank”
Weird crush: Moon Gray-AKA-Vampire Lady from “Escape 2000”
Ann Margaret is definitely attractive in Kitten with a Whip, hands down. ;)
I am embarrassed to admit this because she is married to one of her MST3K colleagues, but I have always crushed on Bridget Jones. Talented, intelligent, funny, beautiful- please understand, Michael Nelson. You are a blessed man.
As far as characters in a movie, in the Creeping Terror there is the woman dancing with either gold or silver lame pants, whose hinder goes out of control. She appears so self-assured and confident, and even if she agreed to go out with me, she would eat me alive and then move on. And I would be left, dejected and despondent, but also oddly content.
+1
I have to say Joel is pretty adorable on Eegah.
Paul’s secretary from Werewolf. Pants or no pants.
Melissa the witch from Touch of Satan was kind of cute early on in the movie when she’s wearing somewhat normal clothes. Around the halfway point she changes from a flattering green outfit to something the Amish probably wear and I do not approve of the change.
It’s hard to imagine any woman being embarrassed about being attracted to Raul Julia. Bart Fargo is easy on the eyes too. But the post said embarrassing, so I’ll admit that I don’t find Tor Johnson UNappealing. He’s sort of like an older, less fit version of whoever played Drax in Guardians of the Galaxy, and I certainly didn’t mind looking at that guy all during Guardians. I also like the way Tor announces “Time for go to bed!”
No actual crushes here though.
Now, if I were a girl bot and I were on the show with Crow and Tom Servo, I think I’d have a crush on Crow….
Given all the Beverly Garland and Allison Hayes love on this thread, I’m surprised no-one’s mentioned Susan Cabot. She played Enger in Viking Women & the Sea Serpent (lots of women to crush on in that film, plus a blond Jonathan Haze) as well as Janice Starlin in The Wasp Woman. MST3K didn’t get their hands on the latter, but Cinematic Titanic had fun with it. She helped make both those films watchable.
I’ve always had a thing for Jane, the swimsuit queen of Teenage Crime Wave, Andrea the hypnosis victim of Dr. Lombardi in She Creature and Linda the sultry, dark-haired chick in The Thing that Couldn’t Die. Honorable mentions: Allison Hayes and Beverly Garland.
I find Gordon Scott, who played Bart Fargo, totally crush-worthy in a non-embarrassing way. But the character of Bart Fargo was so cheesy, not to mention ridiculously named, that it’d be embarrassing to ooh and aah over him out loud. Except here at Satellite News.
My most embarrassing non-MST3K crush as a kid was Butch from The Little Rascals. I mean, what am I, Jean Genet?
It’s kind of tough to top that one, particularly since I’m all grown up now, but I have to admit the Goona men in the Film Crew’s WILD WOMEN OF WONGO fill me with a mingled lust and self-loathing. Especially when they go skinny-dipping together and the gals lasso them. I’m so ashamed… So ashamed…
Come on ladies, no embarrassing love of Ross Hagen?
Now for the really embarrassing ones.
Aunt Flavia from The Thing that Couldn’t Die. She’s quite spirited and I’m sure she was a lot of fun in her younger days.
The sturdy landlady in The Crawling Hand.
The giantess from the dance party scene :eek: in The Skydivers.
Lisa, in her underwear, from ‘The Projected Man’. Move aside Tom Servo, she’s mine!
I don’t think any female would deny that Max Schell was pretty attractive in Hamlet, but I’m embarrassed to say that after watching Hamlet, I ran right out and bought Judgment at Nuremberg just so I could watch him more. :-D
My goodness, you are certainly right to be ashamed of that one! What a sleazy character, lol. I’ve seen that actor (“Relson”) on a couple of shows recently and he’s actually pretty good, particularly on an episode of Criminal Minds where he plays a grieving parent covering up for his sociopath son.
There are lots of attractive women in MST-ed movies–one thing low-budget films always seem to have money for. I’m not embarrassed to say I find Tanya from Boggy Creek extremely attractive, nor the doomed wife in Sidehackers or the bubbly silent co-host of The Selling Wizard. Just to name a few.
The only real embarrassment occurs when I feel attracted to someone who comes across, on camera at least, as…let’s say a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Someone like Kathy in Track of the Moon Beast. She seems sweet-natured enough, but forming a coherent thought seems to strain the limited processing power of that brain.
Outside of MSTed movies, the goblin-lady from Troll 2 who seduces one of the characters by rubbing corn cobs against her thighs is weirdly attractive, even in her bad old-age-librarian makeup.
I’m not sure he’s embarrassing, or the fact I’ve watched this movie so many times that I remember him, but he’s evil Sir Branton, Liam Sullivan in “The Magic Sword”…he beats Young George (Gary Lockwood) by a mile! But the most embarrassing crush from this movie is Crow falling for rooty toot toot Estelle Windwood, of course…”I bet she smells like Juicy Fruit!”
I have now, MSTie, thanks for the tip! Yeah, definitely a real beauty-and-the-beast dynamic there between her and… well, her and every single man in that film.
The “made for TV hippie” in San Francisco International. In the 70’s, to me he was a real hippie. But seeing him now after all these years is embarrassing. He’s so not a hippie. But I really dug his groovy threads and hip lingo, man. Also, Micky from Screaming Skull. A sociopath, but I like his hair.
Marissa Mell from Diabolik. I wouldn’t mind rolling around in a pile of cash with her.
Nastinka {I.D.check]
Mr.B Natural { chromosome check]
Beez [tick check]
Thank you for confirming my shame, LOL :-)
My sister told me that when she saw the Troll 2 popcorn scene, she laughed so hard it broke her.
Jeanne Carmen from Untamed Youth, she is the most sultry women I have ever seen.
I am genuinely chagrinned at how attractive I find queen Onfale in Hercules Unchained.
Butt-Lady! Butt-Lady! Butt-Lady!
Embarassing? Okay, I’ll confess to all: Bonnie Baken aka Judy Adams in “Young Man’s Fancy” – the short included with The Violent Years.
Oh, and Dunja Movar, Ophelia from Hamlet. She’s so cute in a “German-ie” sort of way. My heart also goes out to her because she committed suicide. What a shame….
For my attracted to men side: Bart Fargo in “Danger: Death Ray!” was very good looking. So was the cleaned-up Eegah and Kolos. Tall men with deep voices are a plus, what can I say? Which explains why I also have a crush on Kevin Murphy. (no one tell his wife Jane, okay?) And I will share Dablone/Toblerone with Pearl Forrester. Namely if I don’t, she would probably kill me.
My attracted to women side: Girl in polka-dot bikini and big blonde in Skydiver dance party scene, Ann-Margret in Kitten with a Whip (she may be bat**** crazy but come on, she’s ANN-MARGRET!!) and Beverley Garland in anything.
How surprising that none of the ladies have mentioned Jackie Coogan in tiny shorts.
You mean Sheila.
Every time I watch “City Limits” I find myself surprised by just how hot the guy who play Mick is. Quite a hunk, really. The main character’s not too bad either.
Lessee… there really aren’t all that many hot guys in MST movies. Paul from “Werewolf” is pretty cute. The guy from “Devil Fish” is fine.
Dick Contino and his “Dudley Do-Right smile”, John Banner and his “aggressive niceness” is a winner…
I know it’s an odd one but I always liked Tiger from “Batwoman” for some reason.
There’s always Peter Graves. Urbano “CABOT!” Barberini is a fave.
Another odd choice but I find myself strangely drawn to Robert Easton.
Reb Brown from “Space Mutiny”…. Critter from “Girl in Gold Boots”…
huh, I guess there was more than I thought.
Oh yeah, Thom “Troxartis” Christoper is definitely an embarrassing crush… what with that sexy bald head and no pants…
He’s so fine he blows my mind poor Mickey…
Here’s embarrassing for you… Timothy Van Patten.
I am so ashamed.
Critter from Girl in Gold Boots always gives me funny feelings.
Tia Carrere.
Venita Wolf in Catalina Caper.
Steffi the baby sitter from Gorgo host segments: I usually don’t go for mean girls, but there’s something oddly compelling about Steffi.
The Fire Maidens of Outer Space: Pretty, submissive, barefoot, dancing girls in tunics who like to playfully tie each other up. Too bad that except for Hestia there was a real lack of intelligence, education, or sense of self.
Cissie Cameron from Space Mutiny: Yeah, she looks nice in some scenes. In others it’s, “good God get granny some pants”. And she seemed like a nice lady in an interview I watched once. That counts for a lot with me. Which brings me to…
Sally the racist communications officer and struggling actress in Women of the Prehistoric Planet: Not a nice or pleasant woman but damn she’s cute. That’s where the embarrassing part comes in.
Embarrassing? You want embarrassing? I’ll give ‘ya embarrassing…how about Steve Brodie? “Wild, Wild World of Batwoman” and “Giant Spider Invasion”. Alright gals, I challenge you to top that one!
The Allison Hayes-Beverly Garland types are nothing to be ashamed of. Ditto for the Belarians and the Angels.
Me, I have weird thoughts about Vena and Cleolanthe.
Doris, the barmaid from ‘the deadly bees.’ Sigh