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Episode guide: 319- War of the Colossal Beast (with short: ‘Mr. B. Natural’)

Short: (1957) A shrill, androgynous succubus urges a gawky middle schooler to take up a musical instrument.
Movie: (1958) When giant Glenn from “The Amazing Colossal Man,” now a deranged and disfigured monster, is spotted in Mexico, his worried sister tries to save him.

First shown: 11/30/91
Opening: J&tB come up with new names for Mex-American food combos
Invention exchange: The Mads have invented the breakfast bazooka, while Joel shows off his between-meal mortar
Host segment 1: Tom and Crow debate the topic “Mr. B. Natural: man or woman?”
Host segment 2: J&tB are singing the Big Head song when Glen revisits
Host segment 3: Joel presents “KTLA predicts!”
End: Joel offers the bots samples of his special bread, Joel reads a letter then Glen reads one; Frank gets another breakfast shot at him
Stinger: That’s a happy king?
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (126 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5)

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• If there was ever an episode where the short outshines the feature, this is it. But, that being said, this was one of those times where I was expecting to struggle through the movie but was pleasantly surprised. Instead of the dull slog I remembered from previous viewings, I found it pretty entertaining and the riffing was pretty consistently good. The host segments are more good than bad as well. This really is a fun episode all around.
• Ah, Mister B. Calling it a classic short isn’t enough. It is probably the most famous of all the shorts the show presented and maybe the most watched 20 or so minutes of the entire series. I practically have the thing memorized. (Note: I admit to stealing the phrase “shrill succubus” from the ACEG. It’s just too perfect a description.)
• Can I just mention, however, that the short is in horrible shape? Mr. B’s arrival in the kid’s home has been spliced out, for example. It was probably hilarious, and therefore somebody cut it out of the print and kept it for his or her own collection of goofy footage. A lot of classic moments in movies have been lost to anonymous “collectors” savaging the only remaining copy of a particular movie.
• That being said, thanks to RiffTrax, we now know that a pristine, un-chopped-up copy of the short exists—it’s the one they used when RiffTrax re-riffed it.
• The short was filmed at the Waukegan (Illinois) Elementary School and Miami (Ohio) Sr. High School.
• Betty Luster, who played Mr. B, had a brief TV career in the early 1950s. Her first TV job was on the CBS show “Sing It Again” (1950-51), which was a game show similar to “Name That Tune.” Her second TV gig was on the NBC show “Seven at Eleven,” which was only on the air for one month in 1951.
• For a long time I wondered what the target audience of this short was. It couldn’t be the kids. It couldn’t be the school music teacher. Recently, it hit me: It’s for the PARENTS! The music teacher probably was paid to show this during parent-teacher night.
• In the segment 1, Joel says “bogart” instead of “robot.” They just keep going.
• The military guy says the river below Boulder Dam is “a mile deep in some places.” WHAT??
• The Big Head makes another appearance in segment 2.
• The gibberish Joel shouts at the end of segment 3 comes from the chaotic labels of a product known as Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap–still available at your local health food store. There’s an explanation of this stuff here.
• Movie comment: Why didn’t they keep Glenn sedated once they got him into the hangar? (I know, they wanted to have the exciting escape scene).
• Callback: McCloud! (Pod People)
• Of course, this movie is known for the 30 seconds of color at the end, triggered by Glenn grabbing the power lines. Did Bert I. really think this was going to help the movie somehow?
• This is one of two MSTed movies (522- TEENAGE CRIME WAVE is the other) that ends at L.A.’s Griffith Observatory.
• Cast and crew roundup: Set designer Maury Hoffman also worked on “I Was a Teenage Werewolf. Assistant director/production manager Herbert E. Mendelson also worked on “The Magic Sword.” Sound mixer Ben Winkler also worked on “The She-Creature.” The voice of monster Glenn’s was provided by the great Paul Frees. We’ll hear his voice again in “The Sword and the Dragon” and “The Deadly Mantis.” By the way, he was the director and script writer for “The Beatniks.” George Becwar also appears in “Bride of the Monster.” George Milan also appears in “Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders.” Roy Gordon also appears in “The Unearthly.” Dean Duncan Parkin, who played Glen the monster, also was help behind the scenes of “The Beginning of the End”… he was a grasshopper wrangler!
• CreditsWatch: This was intern Cindy Hansen’s last episode. Trace and Frank are still “villians” and Dr. F’s name is still “Forrestor.”
• Fave riff from the short: “Mom, Dad? Tell me you heard that!” Honorable mention: “Forget music! I wanna dance!”
• Fave riff from the movie: “My nurse fell down his throat!” Also: “Hee Haw, it’s Sam Wainwright!” “Sir, you just described ME!”

116 Replies to “Episode guide: 319- War of the Colossal Beast (with short: ‘Mr. B. Natural’)”

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  1. Dan in WI says:

    I need to start out by pointing that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. That is why I try to have mine first thing in the morning.
    Frank is at his best during this invention exchange. And he is a brave man to take that breakfast bazooka. It was a fun invention exchange all around. A big improvement over last week.

    The short has an “It stinks” callback to Pod People. This seems to be a highly loved short. Speaking personally I’ll take the Hired two parter myself. But the real question (and maybe this should be weekend discussion) is the debate Mr. B Natural a man or woman. While Tom Servo takes the much hard position and does well with it, Crow wins based on the breast argument which Servo tries but fails to rebut. Mr. B Natural is a woman.

    The opening scene of the film features a fast talking guy in trench coat speaking to a police officer. Joel and the Bots try so hard to get a word in but are unable. (Though they do get a great “Third Base” slipped in.) This would later in season four evolve into Joel playing the other end of telephone and intercom conversations similarly. I loved this bit every time.

    Now I enjoyed two doses of Fugitive Alien. But I’ll turn Sampo’s question around here. Did we really need more of Glenn Manning? For me neither Colossal Man films had great fifing and I found them quite a slog. But I suppose that is Sampo’s theorem in action.

    Favorite Riffs:
    The marching band spells out the short sponsor Conn musical instruments. Tom “Kaaaaahhhhhnnnnnnnn.”

    KTLA announcer “and now for the lighter side of the news.” Joel “There was a man from Nantucket.”

    Crow “Ah Glenn the governor called… Oh never mind.”

       4 likes

  2. robot rump! says:

    “Gotta respect your horn boy…and wash it every day!”
    this one’s a real rollercoaster. you have the force of nature that is ‘Mr. B’ blow through then just when i was just kind of settling in the movie, it pulls a ‘Wizard of Oz’ and goes color on me. i had to stop and make sure i hadn’t mixed my meds again. i still don’t get what the Notorious B.I.G. was thinking. BTW the colorization blow up that was mentioned earlier is probably the ONLY example where WOTCB and WoO could ever be compared to each other.

       3 likes

  3. snowdog says:

    For me, the funniest thing about the short is that Betty Luster doesn’t even try to act male. And it contains one of the most famous lines of any MSTed short: “Knew your father, I did!”, a line that could have been given to Yoda. The whole thing is pretty entertaining on its own until it degenerates into a commercial.

    Dirty riff from the movie:
    Character: “Sorry to be so long.”
    Crow: “Bragger.”

       5 likes

  4. swh1939 says:

    Fave riff:

    Mr. B: You’ve got to inspect your horn, boy.
    Crow: … and wash it every day.
    Tom: (disgusted grunt)

    I always laugh out loud at that, no exceptions.

       5 likes

  5. swh1939 says:

    inspect … respect … either is funny.

       2 likes

  6. One thing that’s always bothered me about the movie is that in the first film it’s stated quite clearly Glenn has no living relatives, just his fiance. But in this film, the fiance is nowhere to be found, and suddenly there’s a sister! And Joel and the Bots never note this blatant disregard of continuity.

       8 likes

  7. Don C. says:

    I’ve always wondered about the short. IS “Mr” B a man or woman? What’s the deal? I’m thinkin’ there was some weird casting, last-minute sort of thing but I’ve never heard the details.

    Don C.

       2 likes

  8. Edge says:

    Mr. B. you’re hot!

       11 likes

  9. thetoxicone says:

    The first half of this episode has a special place in my heart as the first of the mst hour episodes of this was part of my meager mst collection while my cable company didn’t have comedy central.

       4 likes

  10. Stressfactor says:

    The Mr. B short was one of the first things my friend showed me to try to get me into MST3K several years back. Didn’t take back then but it did this time.

    Loved the short — particularly since there used to be something a little similar back in the day. The local musical instrument store would have a “night” at my school where they would bring in various musical instruments and demonstrate them for the parents and kids and allow the kids to kind of try some things out in hopes that the kids would then decide to join band and the parents would have to shill out money for an expensive musical instrument…..

    I played clarinet from 5th grade up through the end of my college days so I guess it worked. But I never had any illusions that I wasn’t an uncool band geek.

    As for the feature….

    “Don’t hit…or yell” but I actually think the make-up they used for Glen’s damaged face here was pretty cool and effective and looked pretty good on film. Aside from that, it’s not the most quotable of their riffed movies.

       4 likes

  11. Matthew Shine says:

    I love Mr. B Natural. LOVE IT. Every single joke hits its mark and it blends so well with the bizzareness on the screen that it all forms into my second favorite short (first favorite: Design For Dreaming: “Oh no! The bridge to the future IS OUT! AHH!”).
    Favorite Mr. B Natural riffs:
    “Knew your father, I did!” “Keep my father out of this!”
    “And not be too sure I wasn’t in the garden with Mr. and Ms. Adam!” “YEAH, YOU WERE THE SNAKE!”
    “Mr. B, what would you know about dignity?”
    “Well, kids, it’s time for the Stridex Medicated Bandaid Hour…”
    “We’re white, we’re white, we’re really really really white.”

    It’s a good thing that this episode has the short, because the movie, as Dr. Forrester pointed out, is a completely unwanted sequel to what I consider to be a pretty decent B Movie.

       8 likes

  12. Rachel says:

    Oh, Mr B Natural. Delicious, nutritious Mr B Natural.
    There was a time in my life when I had that short memorised. And that time is now.
    I especially love to sing the little ‘Come on and buy some crap from us’ song, especially when I see Girl Scouts.

       5 likes

  13. Valnastar says:

    With the combo of Mr B and Mike’s shirtlessness, I don’t think there’s any episode that makes me feel more gay. (well, except maybe Horror at Party Beach. Manly beach dance!)

       4 likes

  14. Thomas K. Dye says:

    Major Baird: What makes you think you’ll even find him?
    Crow (furiously): HE’S SIXTY FLIPPIN’ FEET TALL!!!

    And “Glen was sixty feet tall” became a regular callback later, as it should. I mean, the absurdity that Glen could sneak off from a hanger at LAX and somehow make it to Griffith Park unnoticed (hint: these are considerably far apart from each other) is enough to make the film a hoot in and of itself.

       7 likes

  15. Tom Carberry says:

    What more can be said about probably their most notorious short, Mr. B Natural? My favorite riffs:
    Is this Liberace’s mom?
    He’s got a gun!
    Why does my kid have to be such a dud? I was popular.
    Mr. B, what would you know about dignity.
    You know, I think Oscar Wilde only wished he was this gay.
    Naw, put away the grease gun and show me something cheap.
    Extra value is what you get when you play the coronet.
    Hey, if you get near a song, play it.

    As for the feature presentation, War of the Colossal Beast, in some ways I find it a little more entertaining than The Amazing Colossal Man. It has a goofy charm with just a touch of south of the border loco. A few of my favorite riffs:
    To prove how tough this Ford is we’re pitting it against the Amazing Colossal Beast.
    Oops, they got the truck wet, they’re already over budget.
    Oh, I see, now the swimming portion of the trucker’s triathalon.
    Hey, wait a minute, this is Touch of Evil…Quinlan’s a good cop!
    Yes, you’ll drive to the mutated monster scenes in style in the new 1953 DeSoto.
    Guests of the Amazing Colossal Beast stay at the Beverly Hilton.
    [Joyce Manning visits Miguel in the hospital/clinic] Sgt.! Could you shut him up, I’m trying to sleep.
    He shouldn’t eat chili peppers, they burn his gut.
    I had jello today.
    “Was it a giant Miguel?” Did it make you mad? Did it make you mean mad? (The BBI staff just loved Grapes of Wrath didn’t they?)
    “He’ll be a psychopathic case and a menace until he dies.” Like Jerry Lewis?

    A final note: I’ve been up to Griffith Observatory. They have a statue of James Dean (he made three movies, and one at Griffith Observatory–Rebel without a Clue, and he gets a statue) but not even a plaque or inscription for a 60-foot giant. Sad really.

       4 likes

  16. dsman71 says:

    Mr B was the most controversial short ever – making children wonder about sexuality !
    This may have been Glenn Manning again but it was a different actor – Dean Parkin ( who was the Cyclops which came out before the Colossal Man films)
    This would not be the end of Bert I Gordon films although they did get the best of the bunch this season…
    Mr BIG shows his stuff in the Magic Sword in Season 4 and Beginning of The End in Season 5
    I love that big head..it appeared again in Castle of Fu Manchu
    The Colossal Man series despite its shortcomings due to its budget are 2 films which made watching B movies from this era fun…I can watch this with or without MST3K riffs.
    Joel’s hair grew out since the last episode where he went with the forehead look (no bangs)
    I swear Joel’s hair changed with every episode…
    Joel’s Hair
    Joel’s Knees
    Whos that Guy with the biiiiig head !
    Mr B Natural – a San Francisco treat
    ok back to therapy
    Sigh
    :)

       5 likes

  17. Mr. B(ob) says:

    “Here let me. What did you do with his truck!?” Seriously, there is nothing about this episode that doesn’t get ten times a many laughs as there are buildings and people stomped in the movie by the Colossal Beast! I used to see this movie, the first Amazing Colossal Man (and Bert I. Gordon’s The Cyclops) all the time on UHF TV when I was a kid. These movies were monsterific fun then and I was glad to see some of them make it onto MST3K.

    Of course, we were laughing so hard after the Mr. B Natural short and the sketch that followed debating the sex of Mr. B that we would have laughed at just about anything from then on. Talk about a comedy warm-up set! The show doesn’t get any funnier than it did at moments during this episode.

    I like the retroactive continuity on the War Of The Colossal Beast. In Amazing Colossal Man Glenn Manning’s fiance makes it quite clear that she is all that Glenn has in the world and that he has no family, yet in this sequel he suddenly has a sister who is desperately searching for him. The “flexible reality” of the two films combined is hard to miss when they make such a big deal out these story elements in the films.

    “Later that day, the Midvale police visit his locker and find out why they call him, “Buzz”.
    “Oscar Wilde only wished he was this gay.”
    “Um, Mr. B, what would you know about dignity?”

    Fantastic stuff. Such a shame it’s not available on commercial DVD release. Mr. B Natural is one of those recruitment tools I have used to get people to “Join Us!” and create more MSTies.

    “It sinks!” Far from it, there is nothing stinky about this episode. One of the best ever! “One of the good dead ones.”

       4 likes

  18. ohthatslapsmeontheknee says:

    Why don’cha buy some crap from uuus/you know that you want tooo/and the white race will salute you/as you dance and get abound!

    Tom/Joel?: Please accept our sincerest apologies for all of this, please.

    I bet Oscar Wilde only wishes he was this gay.

    Crow: He’s so perky!! KILL HER.

    Tom: Meanwhile, the Midvale police raid his locker. Find out why they call him… “Buzz”.

    Tom: Don’t make so much noise when you “read”.
    Joel: Why does my kid have to be such a dud? I was popular. (Ouch)

    I love the fact you can see the set corners out Buzz’ window.

       4 likes

  19. ohthatslapsmeontheknee says:

    AH! Curse thee 17!

       0 likes

  20. Creepygirl says:

    I have always loved this episode. I love MR. B and I like the movie a lot. I think this is one of those “classic” Season 3 (Golden Era) episodes people have been talking about for years. The host segments are all really good IMO. The short is one of the, if not the best they ever did. Also the movie is ripe for riffing and brings back Mike as Glen Manning. It is a great episode.

    I will give this episode 5 stars for all the joy of MR. B alone.

       3 likes

  21. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    My very first exposure to the series was the first half of this on the Mystery Science Theater Hour. I remember not really geting the host segments, but LOVING the movie and the short. The riff that got me hooked completely :”Get your feelthy white paws off my desk, senor.” I knew there was no going back. What a great day!

       4 likes

  22. Rocky Jones says:

    #14 : I’ve always found it hilarious, in BOTH movies, how a 60 flippin’ foot man manages to sneak away from supervision undetected. Talk about a STRETCH…not to mention a HUGE embarassment for the military. I mean…you’d think they woulda learned after the FIRST time around to keep a closer eye on the big guy.

    There’s also a kind of built-in “local” joke to the movie for me. It always cracks me up that the military official overseeing the “doped bread” project is named Baird. There’s a well known bakery company in our region (southern Oklahoma/north Texas) known as “Baird’s Bread”. I can’t help but make the connection every time they say his name. Of course…that’s just me…

       5 likes

  23. Cheapskate Crow says:

    The best of the best for shorts. I used this episode to introduce several people to the show and it took right away. The Mr. B debate is some of the best comedy of all time and had me literally ROFL the first time I saw it. The shorts never got better than this, I remember not liking the movie as much though so I really need to watch this again. Maybe it’s just that the movie is almost an afterthought with the greatness of the short.

       1 likes

  24. snowdog says:

    …and I’m considering changing my handle to Taco Beelzebub.

       3 likes

  25. The Grim Spectre of Food says:

    Note on Mr. B Natural: The piece Buzz plays the solo on, which Joel calls “Flight of the Bubble-Head”, is in fact an excerpt of “The Carnival of Venice”, one of the most technically challenging trumpet pieces out there. Yeah, I’m sure that a middle school band would have that in their repertoire, and that a kid who’s only played the trumpet for a month could master it.

    Several people have already pointed out the grievous continuity error in WotCB about the Manning family, but there’s another doozy in there too. Glenn falls off the Boulder Dam and drifts down the Colorado River… one of the most heavily dammed rivers in the world. No wonder the guy’s got brain damage! You’d think someone would notice the diapered giant smashing through all of their dams.

       8 likes

  26. David says:

    So I assume that a “complete” copy of Mr B. has yet to be found? MST has shown some movies/shorts in rough shape, but I agree – this one is pretty choppy.

       1 likes

  27. Stressfactor says:

    The Griffith Park Observatory has actually been filmed a lot between movies and episodes of TV series. I visited the place in the late 1990’s with a friend and we started reeling off all the times we’d seen it used and I know we didn’t even get half of them.

    There’s actually a more complete list on Wikipedia here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Griffith_Observatory#Filming_location

    My personal favorite, though is “The Rocketeer”… : >

       1 likes

  28. Bombastic Biscuit Boy says:

    I love Tom and Crow’s debate at the end of the short, it’s hilarious! Especially when Tom goes off the rails at the end!

    Why not men in Little Bo Peep costumes with stinky cigars explaining the facts of life to our unsuspecting daughters?

    Hairy men in Spartan costumes holding bake sales on shady boulevards!

    Naked jock-strap wrestling!

       3 likes

  29. Max Keller says:

    There is good touching, and then, there is bad touching.

       1 likes

  30. Fred Burroughs says:

    Sampo, you took my 2 fave riffs: “My Nurse!…” as well as the phone answering scene “It’s Sam Wainwright!” for no reason other than it’s a man and woman taking a phone call.
    Mr B is legendary, for years I lost my copy, but viewing it (her) again it’s tough to listen to her shrill voice and manic prancing , not to mention her downright cold condemnation of anyone who would buy a sub-standard instrument. Nice gams though.

    Actually, my favorite riffs are when they mention “playing on him” — e.g. “sit in his eye socket!” You know that’s what you would want to do if you were around a 60-ft man. (also in Deadly Mantis: “we have received top clearance to play on the monster.”)

       2 likes

  31. Alex says:

    Ah, the infamous Mr. B Natural. Whom we will never find out wheater B is a man or a woman.

    I really liked this one. Both Amazing Colossal Man and War of the Colossal Beast had some good riffing. Overall, a good episode. :)

       1 likes

  32. Justin Bailey says:

    Mr. B. Natural is what I show people who’ve never seen the show before, to try to get them into it. You can’t expose an MST3K neophyte to something like Manos or Hobgoblins right away–they need to build up to it. But Mr. B. is a breeze, goofy as hell with hilarious riffing, and doesn’t require them to invest much of their time to get through it. It’s the perfect gateway to MST3K fandom, in my opinion.

       2 likes

  33. ComfortRatedBaloney says:

    Re: the classic short: I suspect younger MSTies never saw “Firing Line” (the debate-format television show from my childhood hosted by William F Buckley, Jr) and so cannot fully appreciate Tom Servo’s dead-on lampooning of Buckley’s creepy, self-adoring, ur-WASPy, sophisticated (in the original, non-complimentary sense of that word) and reptilian oratorical delivery, but, like most of what Kevin Murphy does, it is brilliantly on point. Bravo, Kevin.

    I can speak with authority on this short, as I hail from “Buzz'” chronological era and I, like Buzz, owned and played a “Conn” cornet in “band” in junior high school (hell’s heart).

    Alas, things did not turn out so salubriously for me as they did for Buzz, leading me, inevitably, in the last extremity, to respond by shaking my fist at the heavens and yelling….”Connnnnnn!!!!”

       10 likes

  34. Dark Grandma of Death says:

    This episode was among the first our family saw, thanks to the MST3k Hour. Mr. B was instantly a favorite, and I still think it’s possible that my son decided to take up the trumpet as a direct result. (It was probably the line about “the all-night coke jags in cheap hotels” that did it; if so, he may have been disappointed. Or maybe not.)

    As for the movie itself, the line, “Glen was 60 feet tall!” became an instant favorite, and we still use it when someone states the stunningly obvious.

    Another episode that’s not in my top level, must-have group, but still very enjoyable & fun when I’m in the mood for giant diapered guys. And, yes, shirtless Mike is always welcome!

       6 likes

  35. MikeH says:

    Everything that can be said about Mr. B Natural has already said. The funniest short in the whole series.

    Some trivia in War of the Colossal Beast, the TV reporter at the end in Griffith Park is Stan Chambers, who just retired last year from KTLA Channel 5 in LA. Been a reporter for 63 years for KTLA. As of today he is still alive and kicking!!

    KTLA PREDICTS!!

    http://www.ktla.com/about/station/bios/ktla-news-bio-chambers,0,4044114.story

       3 likes

  36. Joseph Nebus says:

    Hey, are Colossal Man/Colossal Beast the only non-Japanese-monster movie-and-sequel series they did?

    There were a couple reedited TV shows where they did more than one experiment in the same domain, but this is the only actually-intended-to-be-movies pair that comes immediately to mind.

    There were some interesting strikes at continuity in the show, even before the Sci-Fi Channel tried to give them a running host-sketch storyline: three attempts at serials, plus the two-part phenomenon that is Hired!; the string of Japanese monster movies that made half of the third season. There’s more threads than you’d think for the series.

       0 likes

  37. Joseph Nebus says:

    Oh, duh, Hercules and the Little Herculoids. So Colossal Etc isn’t the only movie-and-sequel combination.

       2 likes

  38. Michael H. says:

    Yes, the Mr B short is one of my favorites as well. I can’t help but wonder if I may have seen this when I was really, really young…and that’s why I wanted to play the trumpet (played it for over 9 years, I did!). Though I like to think it was John Williams’ themes that made me want to play, in hopes to one day play the Star Wars or Indiana Jones themes.

    WotCB is kind of a strange story, but Bert I Gordon was a strange man. We are talking about a guy who had giant radioactive locusts take down Chicago.

    If you see the first film, there’s one line that messes with the continuity. In this film, Glen has a sister, but there was one line in the first film that said he had no other family. As well, his sister Joyce almost becomes the equivalent of Tommy from ‘Pod People,’ or Kenny from ‘Gamera.’ Basically, her brother keeps rampaging and doing bad things…yet she keeps trying to say ‘he’s good.’

    And yes, for some reason in Bert I Gordon’s films, giant creatures/people/teenagers/etc can sneak up on people as silent as a mouse. In this film, it is interesting that noone notices Glen at Griffith Park until that little boy suddenly points and says, ‘Look! Look at the giant!’

    *looks up a few comments* Ah, I almost forgot bout KTLA. I just got a chuckle remembering Joel giving the comment when they show Glen: ‘KTLA KNEW!!’

       2 likes

  39. EricJ says:

    @25 – Note on Mr. B Natural: The piece Buzz plays the solo on, which Joel calls “Flight of the Bubble-Head”, is in fact an excerpt of “The Carnival of Venice”, one of the most technically challenging trumpet pieces out there. Yeah, I’m sure that a middle school band would have that in their repertoire, and that a kid who’s only played the trumpet for a month could master it.

    Although when he stands up for a solo at the Really White School Dance, and J&tB immediately have him play his one piece, it’s one of the funniest timed riffs in the entire short.
    (That, and Mr. B making the instruments appear: “…Mooommm!!!” :D )

       5 likes

  40. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    Re the first movie: GLENN’S FIANCEE said he had no other family. Maybe she just *erred*, that’s all. Maybe Glenn never told her he had a sister because he and Joyce didn’t get along. Maybe he thought she was a communist or something (maybe in college she smoked thin black cigarettes and rejected the Triune God).

    Similarly, although I have no idea how much information the US Army expects its applicants to provide about their families (never having seen any of the forms I presume one has to fill out), he could have just not mentioned having a sister in that context either.

    Heck, for all we know, HE thought SHE was dead…

       6 likes

  41. Watch-out-for-Snakes says:

    @ Tom Carberry #15: You misidentify James Dean in ‘Rebel without a Clue.’ He was actually in ‘Rebel without a Cause,’ but strangely his less known brother, Steve Dean, was in ‘Rebel without a Clue.’ Weird world out there..

       5 likes

  42. Watch-out-for-Snakes says:

    As stated by others, MR. B NATURAL is a 5/5 short, just classic, easily in the top 3 of shorts ever done on MST3k. The movie that follows. . .well, it’s okay, pretty good actually, but doesn’t hold up to the awesomeness of the short. By itself, it’s only a 3/5, but averaged together, I give this episode a 4/5 rating.

    RIFFS AND THINGS:

    During the Opening/Invention Exchange, Crow says to Joel, “you get a mister-misty-meanor for that one,” which is a CALLBACK to KTMA10 COSMIC PRINCESS.

    POD PEOPLE CALLBACK “It stinks!” is said TWICE in this episode, once by Servo during the short and again later, during the end of the movie by Joel.

    Also, there is a “chili peppers are burnin’ my gut” CALLBACK (from SIDEHACKERS) as well.

    .
    Mr. B–

    Crow: “Joel, I’m scared.”

    Joel: “Buzz was a slacker.”

    Crow: “He’s got a gun!!”

    Servo: “Meanwhile, the Midvale Police visit his locker to find out why they call him, ‘Buzz’.”

    Joel: “Bad touch.”

    Mr. B, in the movie: “Do you think this is just a trumpet?”
    Joel: “It’s a bong!”

    during Buzz’s trumpet solo,
    Crow: “Hey, if you get near a song, play it.”

    .
    WAR OF COLOSSAL BEAST—–

    Joel: “This is the last time I hijack an organic food truck.”

    Joel: “Find a Chevy truck and pick it up and all the day you’ll have good luck.”

    .

    See?
    The short outshines the feature by a mile.
    All the good quotes come from the short.
    Still though,
    this one gets a solid,
    4/5

       4 likes

  43. Dark Grandma of Death says:

    Wow, #40, you’ve thought WAAAAY too much about this…you’re my kind of person!

       1 likes

  44. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    #43: Thanks but it took me like a minute to think of that. ;-)

    The ironic thing is, the case of Glenn Manning exemplifies how, way too often, the military does NOT come through for wounded soldiers, a criticism that I doubt any 1950s film would have dared directly make. Burt I. Gordon was a man ahead of his time…or at least off to one side of it.

    How does Glenn end up? A deranged homeless guy wandering the streets…

    No doubt the military “justified” its poor treatment of a war veteran because Glenn’s injuries were incurred while he was disobeying direct orders, e.g. trying to save that guy from the crashed plane during the bomb test. And what was HIS story, hm? He just HAPPENED to crash in a top-secret bomt testing site, a soon-to-be highly radioactive area? The truth is out there, folks. ;-)

       8 likes

  45. Max Keller says:

    I just had an awful, awful thought:

    “Mr. B Natural was 60 feet tall………”

    ::shudder::

       4 likes

  46. Fred Burroughs says:

    I did also instantly do a double-take when they matter-of-factly state that the river is a mile deep. Yes, a mile. a Mile? Yes.

    And I love the Breakfast Bazooka… reminiscent of the “Burger Gun” commercial on the “Almost Live” sketch show on Comedy Central at the time. I had a big crush on Nancy Guppy for a while. She yells “ORDER UP” and they shoot a burger a mile away through traffic into your mouth. Bravo!

       1 likes

  47. Tom Carberry says:

    #41–I was being sarcastic, just forgot the smiley face. I just presumed everyone knew the real title. I’m not much of a James Dean fan.

    :)

       2 likes

  48. Laura says:

    This is one my favorite, all-time episodes. The riffing still makes me laugh, and it’s my go-to episode for whenever I’m having a craptastic time in my life. The short still scares me to this day, no matter how many times I watch. I completely agree with Dr. F.; this movie is an unwanted, uncalled for, unnecessary sequel. I use that phrase to describe a lot of the sequels Hollywood craps out these days.

    5/5. Love it!

       2 likes

  49. Kathy says:

    “Mr. B: You’ve got to inspect your horn, boy.
    Crow: … and wash it every day.”

    Best Riff. No question.

    As far as “Colossal Beast” my favorite riffs almost come back to back while they have Glenn in the airplane hanger.

    “His mouthwash just ain’t makin’ it!” and “Check out this blackhead! It’s the size of an anjou pear!”

    Don’t know why. :-)

       3 likes

  50. mst3ktemple says:

    The first MST3K episode I ever saw, way back in July 1993. I was hooked immediately.

       1 likes

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