How about, with the campaign season upon us: Which MSTed character would make a great or interesting U.S. President?
I’ll have to say Gregory Peck’s character in Marooned. One, he has the gravitas and authoritative voice for the job. Also, he does what needs to be done with a minimum of fuss, and if someone has to be sacrificed for the greater good, he doesn’t let sentiment get in the way.
Bonus political candidate: Rowsdower for Canadian Prime Minister! Get some government funding to study that whole beer on the sun thing, eh?
She adds:
Please, for the love of all that is holy and unholy, would posters please refrain from making any kinds of comments about or comparisons to real life politicians, or this thread could blow up quickly.
We must agree. PLEASE no actual political commentary. Please.
That said, we’re going to go with the “Perfect Order” guys from “Stranded in Space.” They make the monorails run on time, and that whole black turtleneck and sports jacket look was awesome.
Your picks?
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Maybe, but Krankor actually gets things done, like build a monster with the body of Cecil Fielder and the face of Chicken Lady from “Kids in the Hall”. He’s my choice.
Or Kobras from “PumaMan”. All he needs are lousy-looking heads of important guys, plus that mask, and he’s already passing bills.
My vote goes to Johnny Longbow from Track of the Moon Beast. He seems pretty competent. Is a real good archer and makes some killer stew. Sherriff half-a-beef can be his running mate, so long as they don’t change the national anthem to “California Lady”.
Probably not the best national defense policy… ;-)
BTW, I hear Denmark is seeking volunteers to run things now that the entire monarchy has succumbed to various stabbings and poisonings.
#53: I’m a pacifist — I only kill out of personal spite. :)
In Mexico, I’d like to see a Lupita/Samson ticket. Lupita grew up poor, so would have empathy for the average citizen, and seems to have developed a strong moral code at a young age. Samson/ El Santo would be both her running mate and personal bodyguard.
Hugo/Vorelli – 2016!
I think Johnny from TIME OF THE APES would win in a landslide by galvanizing the apathetic voters with his campaign slogan;
“I don’t care.”
Toberlrone for President!
I also could see Glen, the Amazing Collossal Man, as a huge presence in the race. I think he would stand head and shoulders above his opponents, and would certainly raise the level of political discourse. Plus he’d bring a new perspective to the issues, and is someone that everyone, regardless of party affiliation, could look up to.
I immediately regret my decision to post this… :struggle:
It wasn’t a colossal mistake. You didn’t totally bomb. I know your single-celled heart was in the right place and it was actually a “dam” good comment.
Maybe we’re overlooking the obvious: Dr. F & running-mate TV’s Frank
“Fabulous Fighters for Freedom! Forrester & Frank in 2016”
And when it comes time to launch the big ones, who better to give the order to “Push the button, Frank”?
One thing’s for sure, I won’t be throwing my support behind David Stratton from Kitten with a Whip. How this guy got as far as he did in politics while being such an easily-manipulated tool is beyond me.
Bovaro, from “Clash of the Moons,” a leader truly concerned about the welfare of his people and impressed by the excellence of the character of everyone he meets. If only my young son could grow up with the insight of Bovaro ….
Zulu from “Code Name: Diamond Head.”
campaign slogans:
It is the same TIME for everyONE and everyWHERE. It is ZULU TIME.
I carry a small ukulele, but I have very big teeth.
Jackie Mason pants for everyone!
So if you want a president who really WAS born in Hawaii…
We shall put an apple in the mouths of our enemies and roast them like pigs and pineapples!
RED WHITE & ZULU
(all comments endorsed by King Kamehameha.)
There will be earthers who say he didn’t really hatch in that boy’s bedroom but in a space ship or something.
Sam the Keeper for president
He’s single-handedly reviving the Know Nothing Party. Plus he’ll attract the old Ron Paul crowd.
Coily for VP
We’ll be the first to die!
The Master, of course! With Torgo as his VP. His cabinet would be made up entirely of women in billowy gowns. Of course I don’t think he would do much, just send Torgo around to say “The Master would not approve”. And there may be a lot of sex scandals with Torgos interpersonal skills.
BIOGRAPHY!
BOOPY!
How about Kimar (“Santa Claus Conquers the Martians) for Prez? He’s open-minded enough to try something new even in the face of opposition, he’s willing to take advice from wise men, he’s a man of action, and compassionate to children and tolerant towards imbeciles.
Sure, he kidnapped Santa Claus and a couple of Earth kids, but his heart was in the right place and in the end he made sure they all got home safe and sound.
I think he’d be a shoo-in, unless he chooses Droppo as his running. In that case, all bets are off.
How about the hunch back fairy from JACK FROST because she’ll always have the upper hand?
The Michael Palin impersonators could make up her cabinet.
…but I dread the eventual outlawing of ham.
Why, Jeff “Let’s Go All The Way” Knight, of course.
Beth Rowe from The Skydivers. She looks quite fetching in her baggy coveralls, and her helmet hair would deflect any assassin’s bullet.
For VP my pick would be coffee guy Joe Moss, from the same movie. Moss is simple but nice, gosh darn it, and his love for the brewed bean would win us undying affection from Third World countries.
Suzy Belmont would be Secretary of Defense. With such a hard and stern countenance, no foreign power would try a thing. She’d eat their livers with siracha sauce.
And if that doesn’t work, there’s always “Aw for crying out loud. EACH. OF. YOU. WILL. ENTER. A. CAPSULE…”
John Carradine from the Unearthly. “I need nothing that I do not WISH to need!” sounds like it could clean up as a line in a debate.
I second Ilya Mourametz. He has a proven track record of dispensing with blow-hards, and he’ll dispense his wisdom while wearing oven mitts.
His First Lady, Vilya, would solve any food shortage issue with her woodland-creature inspired Magic Tablecloths.
And his Running Mate would be Little Falcon, who would never bring dis-honour to the office. (Unless he did bring dis-honour by trading the Vice-Presidency for a lid and getting high in the White House).
Secretariat of State would of course be Chestnut Grey – brought to you by the Chevy Suburban.
Ilya/Falcon 2016 – Dragon Sandwiches for all!
Gare
Peter Graves!
(for biography)
Although preferably the grasshopper/pickle monster stomping Peter and not the twisted Senator Peter.
Gumby’s dad, Gumbo, would be a cool President! He goes to work starkers, he has internal genitalia, he drives his own firetruck, and best of all you can throw things through him.
Easy Rider, aka Sam Casey from “Riding with Death” would appeal to voters who want transparency in government.
Dan @73
Great nomination. I would love to see the White House with chicken legs.
The teacher from Angel’s Revenge would make a good president if only she were better organized…
Rowsdower/Torgo 2016!
I’m rollin’ in late for this one…
Krankor!!! (crank whore)
No, I’d never vote for him, nor ANY rightwinger (Krankor would only come to power via the Deep State military coup) but I chose Krankor, if for any reason, I’d always suspected that Krankor’s annoying, albeit comical, ha-ha-ha laugh must be quite similar to fascist, Dick Cheney’s …as in, I could imagine that awful cackle would be the final thing the modern world would hear broadcast over the corp/state propaganda dispensaries just before we all go out in a blinding white hydrogen bomb flash (ha, am I being too dark?)
Go BERNIE 2016!!!
@86
you silly billy
chickens have left AND right wings!
Who would I actually vote for if I could?
Hell, that’s easy: that Kobras guy from Puma Man... because I think things need to get worse before they get better.
“World, get used to being ruled by Donald Pleasance!”
–Michael J. Nelson
What about Gamera? He’s for the children…
Y’know, I could be totally down with that, except I think the Constitution prevents huge-ass flame-spewing monster dump trucks from holding the Presidency. Also, the Constitution requires that the President be a natural-born American citizen, and Megaweapon is Italian, as I recall.
Seriously, man. We might as well vote for Frankie and Suzy.
I’m sorry, but she’s got to be the most ineffectual, lame excuse for a tyrannical overlord ever seen on MST3K. Her flunkie is always blowing her off, she lets Rocky Jones jerk her chain all the time… that’s why I went with Kobras.
…not to mention his opponent in the debate would crumble as Carradine belted out the phrase “therevealwaysbeensomenecessarysacrifices”.
Watch it there, bud. Lame-ass puns like that will get your arm torn off.
I would vote for Claire Anderson (Beverly Garland) from “It Conquered the World.” She may well be the smartest and most competent character from any MST-ed movie.
Another good candidate/possible running mate would be Dr. Paul Nelson (Peter Graves) from the same movie. Anyone holding high office would do well to remember that man is a feeling creature, etc.
The logical choice has to be Teenager From Outer Space – Derek. He cares deeply about the human condition and the planet. He’s also dreamy,well read and a universal traveller. As president he will make sure our country does not practice ~ TORTURE!!
It all goes downhill here…
He cheats on first lady Betty with blonde bombshell Silver Morgan. Silver mysteriously drives off a cliff one night and dies.
His controversial cabinet nominees rankle feathers
Vice President Wild Rebel Fats = impeachment insurance
Secretary Of State Tor Johnson’s heavy-handedness makes few friends
Treasury Secretary Diabolik heads a precipitous rise in the national debt.
Secretary of Defense Star Wolf Captain Joe is found wandering naked on the National Mall after yet another bender
Attorney General Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III (pronounced He-ron-e-mo) has a massive coronary 5 minutes into the job
Trumpy 2016.
Gamera gets my vote too, because Turtle!
Not only is he a fierce and loving protector of children, but he clearly understands that actions speak louder than words, and he is all action and no words.
Plus he can fly and breath fire, his shell is super tough, he is an accomplished acrobat, and he has a great theme song.
Gamera is really neat!
He is filled with turtle meat!
We all love you, Gamera!
I would have to cast my vote for Hercules. Big Allen Steel brings it home in “Hercules conquers the Communists”. Herc has everything it takes to win over the people of this great land, Brains, brawn, bronzer, and is he handsome! The big guy can lash out at his adversaries with such catch phrases as: “Come back with the American people’s arrow”, and “Its time for my opponent to shave his head and work his way north”, and “The american people will not be threatened by tiny Trans-America buildings while I am their President”. So vote for the guy who will save the world and get the girl, Hercules! “…and no, we don’t have silver fish down here” is responsible for this promotion. Not affiliated with Hercules or big Allen Steel.
The more I think about this the more I love it. Government sponsored experiments every day, and we are all Joel Robinson.
Does everyone get a couple of riffing robots?