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Weekend Discussion Thread: Worst MSTed Movie

Okay, let’s settle this one: What is the worst, the positively worst, movie ever featured on MST3K?

My vote is and will always be “Red Zone Cuba.” To paraphrase Mike, it is not only the worst movie they ever MSTed, it is not only THE worst movie ever made, it may well be the worst THING ever made. Slipshod and impossible to follow, mean-spirited and soul-deadening, it is in every way the anti-movie. It makes you want to swear off movies forever, and perhaps even renounce the existence of a higher being. It’s that bad.

What movie would you pick? And show your work.

254 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Worst MSTed Movie”

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  1. ck says:

    Warningg! About suggestions for a best movies
    discussion. If there is I am prepared to
    seriously defend as Best movies Overdrawn at the Memory Bank and Time Chasers (even defying
    the views of Mike ans Mrs. Forrester). Especially TC, given its budget and local
    filmmakers, was an interesting effort at a sci-fi film, way better then the sort of Saturday Night Sci-Fi channel horror/sci-fi movie.

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  2. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    Bay of Pigs…

    I see a lot of people mentioning Hobgoblins, Manos, and other films that show utter incompetance, but I really do think Red Zone Cuba takes the top (er, low) prize here. And it’s the fact that it is so dark and mean. It spits in your face and dares you to watch it! Let’s face it, Cherokee Jack is the only ray of sunshine in this dismal grey lump of a film. Everyone in the damn thing seems to envy the poor soul who got thrown down the well. I really think that films like Manos are just poorly done by people who have no business making movies. But Red Zone Cuba is bitter, angry, and maybe even evil. That said, I think Skydivers is a hoot! Guard. Water. Sick man.

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  3. Pumaman says:

    Space mutiny is my vote

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  4. John Seavey says:

    It’s clearly “Invasion of the Neptune Men”. Everyone here talking about, “This movie is so bad I couldn’t finish it”?

    “Neptune Men” was so bad that Mike and the bots couldn’t finish it. :) That was the one where, during the endless moebius strip of a dogfight sequence, Mike and Crow both just sort of wandered out of the theater for a little bit while Tom took over solo riffing duties, because the movie was so bad that someone who’d been watching bad movies as their profession for almost a decade couldn’t hack it anymore.

    I rest my case. :)

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  5. Randy Cox says:

    Sometimes I get the feeling that each movie they watch is worse than the one that came before it. More than anything, I credit the show with expanding my views on what makes a bad movie. After sitting through “Monster A-Go-Go” and “Manos: The Hands of Fate,” the output of Ed Wood is positively life-affirming.

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  6. crowschmo says:

    There is no answer to this question.

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  7. Miqel says:

    I gotta vote for “Hamlet” because if i can’t even watch a movie with Mike & the bots there to help out, then it’s really really bad.

    Technically many of the other movies are FAR worse in terms of cluelessness, but they have a certain kind of charm. I have the DAP versions of the entire series & I’ve watched all of the other episodes multiple times (including all of the KTMA ones) and Hamlet is the only one that I can’t even force myself to watch.

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  8. Trilaan says:

    Since it’s all a matter of personal tastes I have to throw my lot in with Hobgoblins as well because watching it made me feel nauseous the first time I saw the episode I couldn’t do what I usually do and put my focus primarily on M&TBs and relate the riffs to the movie. Instead I payed attention to the movie first, then related what I was seeing/hearing to M&TBs.

    If not for the nausea I would probably vote for Attack of the the Eye Creatures because in my opinion remakes are the lowest form of movie-making.

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  9. Gorn Captain says:

    #99 The original Boggy Creek was more like a documentary than the official sequel is.

    It’s too bad they never got to riff on “Return to Boggy Creek”, as Dawn Wells is in it, and it would have been one step closer to having nearly every Gilligan’s Island cast member in an experiment. :mrgreen:

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  10. Colossus Prime says:

    Any movie that has scenes where someone should have stopped and said, “Huh? That makes no sense.”

    Additionally you have to add in the intended quality of the film. Hobgobblins had enough tongue in cheek that it can be forgiven. Red Zone Cuba, pretentious and therefore gets not forgiveness.

    But the one movie I absolutely can not watch is Kitten With a Whip. By the time Anne Margret gets around to blackmailing the guy (see I can’t even remember his name) he knows she’s got a record, has attempted murder (maybe commited, again can’t remember because I hate it so much), and is certifiably insane, yet he lets her black mail him, an upstanding citizen, with the threat of going to the cops saying he molested her. Even if he did there is soooooooo much going against Anne’s character that even if he went to trial there’d be no way he’d get convicted. It’s such an absurd leap of logic that it pisses me off.

    The only other thing I can’t watch is the scene from Terror From the Year 5000 when ole’ Flattop uses carbon dating to figure out that the statue is from the future. This is one of my favorite episodes but that one scene makes me see red.

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  11. Lucas D. says:

    Rob: Give “Overdrawn” another shot; the riffing is top-notch from the second half on.

    As awful as “Manos” is, at least it had a good excuse for sucking so hard: it was made by a fertilizer salesman (no stranger to crap) on a shoe-string budget.

    “Red Zone Cuba” and “Sidehackers,” on the other hand, I could barely get through even with Joel, Mike and the Bots. They offend me on every conceivable level; failing so hard that they wrap around “bad,” pass completely by “good” again, and crash through the floor to end up “soul-crushingly terrible.” I had to light a match after I was done.

    Although if you want a really good laugh, there’s a review on WTF-Film where some tinfoil-hat critic wanks off about the socio-political allegory in the film, and actually faults MST3K for keeping viewers from fully appreciating Coleman Francis’ vision. You can read this lunacy at:

    http://www.wtf-film.com/ARTICLES/NOVEMBER_2008/NIGHT_TRAIN.shtml

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  12. Joseph Nebus says:

    Re: #110 Colossus Prime

    On Kitten With A Whip and Ann Margrock’s blackmail threat:

    > Even if he did there is soooooooo much going against Anne’s character that even if he went to trial there’d be no way he’d get convicted. It’s such an absurd leap of logic that it pisses me off.

    The thing is that what she’s blackmailing isn’t the threat of prison time. What she argues — and not implausibly, I’d say — is that the accusation and the scandal would derail Bland Man’s hopes to be made Senator. Remember he’s still trying to get backing for his run, and the election is a far ways off. The allegation that he was taking advantage of a runaway teen (or whatever she was) would stand a fair chance of spoiling him as a candidate, then and possibly for the indefinite future no matter how many times he was acquitted.

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  13. Dean says:

    Here are my picks:
    1. Angels Revenge. Poor Jim Backus! Did he need the money that bad?
    2. Future War. Makes any Ed Wood film look like Citizen Kane.
    3. Red Zone Cuba. About as much fun as stepping in dog poop.
    4. Final Justice. Joe Don Baker. Enough said.
    5. Pod People. IT STINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  14. Meadows says:

    #111

    Lunacy, indeed!

    “The truncated version screened [on MST3K] leaves the film a shadow of its former self and an easy target for those looking to poke dumb fun at the artificially butchered continuity…”

    Please. The majority of the “butchered continuity” in that movie was the fault of Coleman Francis.

    “The other two directorial efforts from Francis have suffered the same fate, encouraging the absence of his unique cinema from critical discussion on all fronts. This reviewer thinks that’s a damned shame.”

    What this “reviewer” fails to realize is that all three of Francis’ films were most likely saved from cinematic oblivion thanks to MST3K. This clod only wrote his article on the movie a year ago, and is apparently in the process of researching an exhaustive biography of Francis (visit http://www.colemanfrancis.com for more! Or don’t.) I guarantee this clown would never have even heard of Coleman Francis were it not for his movies being featured on the show.

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  15. John M. Hanna says:

    I just thought of a weekend discussion thread for the future…
    “What is the single worst ‘scene’ from any MSTied movie?”
    This should really get people going!

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  16. bob boxbody says:

    Red Zone Cuba, Rocket Attack USA and Monster A Go-Go all hurt my brain but Space Mutiny might be the most inept filmmaking experience ever. I’m not sure but even Coleman Francis didn’t continue to use a character that was killed off in an earlier scene. They had 3 people editing the movie and it still made it through.

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  17. PEEONME says:

    Incredibly Strange Creatures is a favorite of mine, and I actually feel that Ray Dennis Stekler (RIP) is one of the most unique of the exploiters. I always felt that there was more going on than just badness.

    I have not yet watched Hamlet because I have heard it is horrible to get through. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is good for the first half, and bores me the second half. Monster-a-go-go by itself is pretty bad.

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  18. Neal says:

    I’ve heard a lot of good ones on this thread by my vote has to go to Wild World of Batwoman for a few reasons:

    1. Bad comedies hurt twice as bad. There are many muddled and confusing parts in Monster A Go Go, Red Zone Cuba and the like. But imagine if any of those films, with the same production values and half-witted notions, tried to make something “lively” and “wacky”. It’s the difference between something putting you to sleep and the sound of nails on chalkboard

    2. Production values. Now I know many MST3K movies are in the zero budget, barely above home movies range. But there’s something incredibly depressing about the locations in this film. It’s like the stuff you find in 1940’s serials only with that hollow quality about it. These look like the places where people go to work at jobs they hate. Chances are they shot the whole thing around whatever empty spaces they could find in NJ or NY judging by the local accents and the look of the beaches and warehouses. Once again look at these locations, then attempt to make a lighthearted go-go theme campy superhero picture.

    3. Acting. Most of Batwoman’s girls are strippers who were recruited by the filmmakers after their club was raided so the term “wooden” doesn’t do most of these scenes justice. But what’s striking is that I never got the sense on who was the lead character in the film. I guess it was Batwoman but she’s just as passive as the other girls that it feels like a toss-up in most scene that it could honestly be anyone’s story.

    4. It’s a blatant rip-off. I mean it’s right there on the title. While there are many more reasons to dread this movie, there’s something undeniably mean-spirited about making that sort of cash grab and it makes the movie come off as crass from the get go.

    5. Plot coherence. The hallmark of a bad MST3K film. What makes this example particularly egregious is that scenes that don’t make sense are give the green light in the hopes that the comedy will shine so brightly that we won’t care about following the story. So when, of course, it doesn’t shine at all, the comedic bits become incredibly sad. It’s as of we can see the puppet strings being dangled above the actors as their pushed into unbearable scenes.

    6. Mike and The Bots struggle with it. What makes this not only the worst movies but also one of the weaker episodes of the series is that the movie itself is bonkers. It’s fun and challenging to ridicule hot rod films or creature features because there’s a certain attempt at form and audience-pleasing thrills. Wild World of Batwoman is, by comparison, an insane asylum of the movie. How do you make fun of a film that’s constantly screwing around and pleased with its own jokes so vapidly when Mike and the Bots, by contrast thrive on thoughtful and well timed humor? The clash between them and the film is really enough to grind an episode to a halt.

    Anyhow that’s my take.

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  19. Ross says:

    I suppose whilst any one thing can make a movie bad (terrible acting, clunky dialogue, dumb story, sloppy direction) to make movies of the type being discussed here takes almost a peverted level of genius!

    Now, you could make a justified arguement for almost every movie mentioned above as he worst ever featured on MST3K- Monster A-Go-GO, Manos, Re Zone Cuba Yucca Flats and Hobgoblins all scrape the bottom of the cinematic barrel, and I can’t think of one redeemable feature other than Joel/Mike and the ‘bots’ riffing that makes them watchable (and even that’s not enough when it comes to RZC, an episode I’ve never made it through in a single sitting.)
    But then, I kind of think to myslef ‘What the hell did you expect?’ Movies made on a shoestring budget are going to have crap monsters (Step forward, Creeping Terror). There are enough Coleman Francis’s and Ray Dennis/Cash Flaggs out there that some of them are bound to end up making vanity-project movies as that they see as making a statement, but we just see as appalling drivel. And ‘Manos’ was made by a group of people who had no experience of film-making using equipemnt that was not fit for purpose. You’re hardly going to get Citizen Kane, are you?

    No, for the worst movie I have to rule out any of the those films with inherent flaws such as no budget, movies made from recycled TV shows, re-dubbed foreign language films or films like Monster A Go-Go (which only got finished for contractual reasons- which might explain it’s cop-out ending).
    TO be the worst of the worst, I tend to look at films which are made recently (when cinematic techniques had improved), made by professional (or semi-pro) film crews- basicaly a film that has no excuse for being bad. For that reason I tend to look at SPACE MUTINY and HOBGOBLINS. Now MUTINY has the ripped off special effects, infamously bad continuity, bad acting and direction so bad that David Winters has tried to disown it! I’m so tempted to give this the tag of ‘Worst MST3K movie.’ And then I remember how utterly vile HOBGOBLINS is.

    Hobgoblins all the way, I’m afraid.

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  20. Cliff Weismeyer says:

    As is probably obvious from my handle, I’m a big fan of Red Zone Cuba. It is dark, disturbing, and nonsensical. Apparently, the un-MSTed version (released on VHS by “Tony Cardoza Classics”- Ha!) is even darker. Clearly, this is a terrible film, and needs to be included in any discussion of this topic.

    Yet there is a certain dark insanity to it, and to all of Coleman Francis’ works. They combine the ethic of a film-noir with a bleakness, amorality and hopelessness that was rarely seen at that time (or since, for that matter). It deals with people on the margins of society who were rarely depicted in any media at the time. Indeed, if one considers that the majority of the film was shot five years before Truman Capote published “In Cold Blood,” the film in some ways is ahead of its time. Also, it (along with Beast and Skydivers) has a certain artistic ethic to it that makes its bleakness and hopelessness make a certain amount of artistic sense.

    That being said, it is still an awful movie made by a terrible filmmaker. In my opinion, Coleman Francis, not Ed Wood, should be considered the worst director of all time. While Ed Wood had a certain joy for filmmaking that he was able to express in his films, and showed progress as a filmmaker (compare Glen or Glenda with The Sinister Urge), Francis’ movies got more inept as he went along. Ed Wood could express a variety of emotions in his filmmaking. Francis could only express hopelessness and despair.

    I need to give the nod to Manos for two main reasons. 1) Every other film done by MST had some scenes that were shot well. There is not a single scene of Manos that is, and photography is the bare minimum technical competence that a motion picture needs to achieve. 2) The un-MSTed version of Manos is vastly more unpleasant than the MST version. There is a long scene of The Master beating one of his wives, a longer driving sequence (!!!!).

    The biggest problem with the story is that no background or character development is ever given to the hero, the one character who changes as a result of the event of the film- Torgo. The only motivation that is given Torgo is that he is horny, and the events of the film flow from this. From this charming point, we proceed to abuse, murder, and pedophilia.

    Since the criteria here is worst movie (not worst film presentation on MST), I’ll vote Manos pending viewing of a “clean” version of Red Zone Cuba.

    Mea Culpa- Yes, I spend way too much time thinking about terrible movies.

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  21. Kenotic says:

    I’m at a tossup between Monster a Go Go and Batwoman.

    MaGG was a mashup of incoherent plots and self-made phone noises. It’s a movie you have to slog through, even MSTed. Nothing happens. At least the opening theme had a kind of cool trash/surf rock feel to it.

    Batwoman, on the other hand, had nothing happen. Girls drink fake blood, Batwoman offends Chinese people, pool parties and happen, and that stupid sidesick makes faces at the camera. I was with Servo before the final credits screaming “END!!!” – this stupid thing had no point in existing.

    I think the hate for Hobgoblins is that it’s a terrible Gremlins ripoff with zero likable characters. Every comedy attempt falls flat on its face, women are reduced to stupid, frigid objects, and Fish Picker plays their one song. It’s worse than some of the 60s schlock because it’s not done on the cheap with amateur directors, it’s done half-assed.

    If we throw in CT/Rifftrax, it’s a tossup between Troll 2 and Doomsday Machine.

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  22. zucco says:

    I guess it comes down to “watchability” and “film rage”

    Watchability (is there such a word?) – could you endure a non-MST version to the bitter end? That would fit MONSTER A GO GO, MANOS, HAMLET and CASTLE OF FU MANCHU (almost any film by Jess Franco is unwatchable; lest you doubt me, try LUST FOR FRANKENSTEIN or KILLER BARBYS VS. DRACULA for starters)

    Film Rage – you hate the film because deep down we all resent the fact that some schmuck was able to get funding and actually make and release his turd: the kind that must have been made by oh-so clever film students with rich uncles. HOBGOBLINS takes the; despicable that it actually got made by someone who thought he was being oh-so witty.

    I actually like RZC – it’s like watching a car crash in slow motion.

    Now I’m trying to figure out where ATTACK OF THE-THE EYE CREATURES fits in…

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  23. John Seavey says:

    I’d just like to say that while I stick with “Invasion of the Neptune Men” as my personal choice, I would say it’s close enough of a photo finish with “Monster-a-Go-Go”, “Wild World of Batwoman”, “Red Zone Cuba”, “Manos”, “The Creeping Terror”, and “Skydivers” (which has inexplicably avoided all hate, despite being a movie that could be condensed down to ten minutes with no loss of plot, and yet which would still make not a heck of a lot of sense) that I respect all those choices. There’s just something about those movies that are attempts to salvage a pile of random footage that the producers have already spent money on by splicing it together into something that’s the right length to be a film that drives ya into a rage.

    Which reminds me, “Future War”… :)

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  24. Mark says:

    Kor-Man:

    Mighty Jack isn’t a real movie, it’s edited together episodes of a TV series like the Master Ninja “movies”. Which is much of the reason why it’s very hard to figure out what the heck is going on.

    Same with Time of the Apes, and Fugitive Alien I & II.

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  25. Dancin'Nell says:

    I’m surprised no one has mentioned High School Big Shot. Depressing in the extreme. Although – there are several I have not been able to watch a second time – Hamlet, Monster A-Go-Go, Hellcats. My idea of hell is being forced to watch any of these movies… whether I’m stranded in space or not.

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  26. Georgieyoung says:

    They aren’t necessarily the “worst” movies riffed, but there are a few that were hard, if not impossible, for me to get into; The Puma Man, and Wild, Wild World of Batwoman rank 1 & 2 in my book.

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  27. Peter Barrett says:

    “Invasion of the Neptune Men”… The uncut version, which was shown on Monsters HD last year, is in stunningly bad taste. As stated in the online ACEG, actual stock footage of Japan being bombed during WWII was used, which MST3K deemed too grim to make fun of. The biggest, most crushingly tasteless scene (which thankfully isn’t in the MST3K version of the film) comes when a group of Japanese soldiers are shot by the transvestite-looking Neptune men; they disintegrate, but their shadows remain stuck to the wall… you know, like in Hiroshima after the atom bomb went off? Urgh…

    “The Starfighters”… I almost need to congratulate the filmmakers for making something with no conflict, no drama, and no action whatsoever.

    “Ring of Terror”; I probably damaged my TV from turning up the brightness so much… you can’t see a damn thing here and the movie is incoherent and slow. This is one of the few movies that was so dull that I don’t think it warranted an episode.

    “Dr. Z”; just for the opening song, really.

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  28. Grantius says:

    In my opinion, “Hobgoblins” takes the cake. Even with the riffing, I barely made it through. The only saving grace was Servo’s consistent “whine” anytime the lead character appeared on screen. And the riff, ” When I catch that guy, I’m gonna make him check in SO hard!”

    Another front runner for me is, “The Legend of Boggy Creek II”. I mean it’s improperly titled for god’s sake. It’s the FIRST INSTALLMENT! Nuff’ said.

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  29. Peter Barrett says:

    Sorry, double post.

    Oh God… how could I forget “Attack of the Eye Creatures”? Unpleasant in the extreme, truly one of their all-time worst. One of the few episodes (along with “Ring of Terror”) that I refuse to ever watch again. “High School Big Shot” was so depressing that I stopped and started about four times before I was actually able to get through it. “Hobgoblins” is pretty wretched too… it’s biggest problem is that it seems to go on for about five hours. “Santa Claus” deserves a mention; it’s up there with “Turkish Star Wars” as the most baffling and terrifying culture-crossovers in existence.

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  30. zucco says:

    The worst? How about these – so stunningly bad you can’t take your eyes away:

    BRIDE OF THE MONSTER
    DANGER! DEATH RAY
    POD PEOPLE
    SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS

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  31. bobbyknightmare says:

    “The Atomic Brain” is soooo bad, that I have never been able to sit through it more than twice. The old lady is just so annoying, she makes Eddie Deezen look like a Cosby kid. Two hours is just too long to wait for her to get her comeuppance and when it does, she just gets her brain put into a cat—and even that doesn’t seem like punishment!

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  32. Weepy Donuts says:

    “Catalina Caper” hurts so, so much.

    I love movies with songs (i.e. I sing-a-long with “Girl in Gold Boots”, “ISCWSL&BMZ”, “Teenage Strangler”), but I can’t watch this episode.

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  33. rob says:

    Lucas, the question wasnt about the riffing, it was about which movie standing alone is the worst,not how good the mst3k show was, and overdrawn is a god-awful piece of crap

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  34. billybkool says:

    I’d rather suck a rat’s butt than sit through SKYDIVERS again !

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  35. WouldntYouLikeToKnow says:

    There are just way too many to choose from to narrow it down to one.

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  36. Ralph C. says:

    Acid… it’s all acid.

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  37. Afew movies that are mentioned by some here that i don’t include in my un-watchable episodes: Boggy Creek II-this is certainly more entertaining than the original, which scared me as a small child when I saw it at the movie theater. I think the riffing is funny as heck, maybe because I have relatives from Arkansas, but even so it’s not the most dismal movie by a long-shot. Attack of the Eye Creatures-Okay, it’s icky to the bone but it’s got genre-stalwart John Ashley, it’s got a straightforward plot that’s not incomprehensible and the Rip Taylor riffing is priceless and “THEY JUST DIDN’T CARE!” is an MST3K standard up there with “There was no monster.” Hamlet-Okay, I just give them credit for taking on the Bard. It was gutsy. I’d rather watch this one than, say, The Girl in Gold Boots. Angel’s Revenge-Just kidding. I frikking hAte this one.

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  38. Zee says:

    I’m a little late to the party but I say:

    RADAR SECRET SERVICE
    or
    CASTLE OF FU MANCHU are the worst.

    Runners up: COLOSSUS & THE HEADHUNTERS, plus most season 1 movies: THE CRAWLING EYE, THE ROBOT VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY, MAD MONSTER, THE CORPSE VANISHES, THE SLIME PEOPLE, PROJECT MOONBASE, and THE BLACK SCORPION are all boring.

    “MANOS” is the obvious choice but as a horror movie it’s actually a tad disturbing and creepy, where as RADAR SECRET SERVICE has nothing going on and FU MANCHU & COLOSSUS are the only two episodes I don’t have completely on tape- and never felt compelled to seek out the missing pieces to.

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  39. crowbot says:

    for me it has to be “skydivers”. What was the point of making that movie. ugly looking actors all around. no plot, I think it was just an excuse for the director to blow someones money.

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  40. Miwo says:

    Darn. I’ve never seen the Red Zone Cuba episode and it’s been removed from YouBube. I wanted to see what all the fuss, or non-fuss as it were, was all about. As for my worst, I have yet to be able to sit through Women of the Prehistoric Planet. I tend to just wander away.

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  41. George says:

    Which movie is the worst? It is a tie–all of them. Watching MST3000 movies is like eating a big plate of boiled Brussels Sprouts with massive amounts of cheese. At least the MST3000 makes it palletable.
    I agree that RZC is the worst of the worst. It is a fever dream of a movie. It should be required watching for captured terrorists.
    –how cruel and inhumane!!! :twisted:

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  42. adoptadog says:

    Intriguing reading what people consider the “worst” movies. There have been some interesting suggestions. And while I’ll stick with Beast of Yucca Flats for my choice, I am surprised that there has been no mention (at least that I’ve seen) of The Brute Man, which would be my second choice. It’s depressing, so dark it’s almost impossible to see, and a very ugly story. So I guess I’m just making sure it’s not left off this list.

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  43. Lucas D. says:

    Rob: I KNOW THAT, dammit; I already had to point the exact same thing out to someone else. I’m trying to say that you’re screwing yourself if you refuse to watch it all the way, because Mike and the Bots definitely hurt the movie back and it’s totally worth it.

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  44. fathermushroom says:

    I have a strong feeling that many of the people who cite “Red Zone Cuba” have not seen the indescribably worse “Beast of Yucca Flats.”

    Several posters have correctly pointed out that RZC is a masterpiece when placed beside the Beast.

    I don’t know what the worst film MST3K handled was, but it can’t be RZC as long as there’s a Beast of Yucca Flats.

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  45. okerry says:

    I know lots of folks enjoy Pod People because of all the good riffing, but I’ve got to say, the film itself – with that unattractive, lonely little boy whose voice is provided by a grown woman – is so depressing and creepy-in-a-bad-way that I feel like I need a shower with Drano after watching it. And the creature he hangs out with – can’t even remember the thing’s name – is just plain obscene. The part with the jacket — gaaaah!

    Would love to see a thread on “what we’ve learned from bad movies”. I was writing novels at the time MST3k was on TV, and I really did learn a lot of useful stuff about avoiding bad storytelling! (And I sold all 9 novels!)

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  46. giules says:

    OK! I can’t believe we have made it this far without including a Joe Don Baker film!!!! MITCHELL is the one that makes me wince. Watching an over weight slob that sweats sitting in his stakeout car and can’t seem to go five minutes without a beer refresher…. Oh! oh!! and don’t forget the girls can’t seem to resist him. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, I can’t believe this is the first mention but that takes my vote :!:

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  47. Vornoff says:

    Funny, I rather like “Red Zone Cuba.”

    Perhaps an appropriate disclaimer is that I am a big fan of many of the movies people have tossed off here. Most of the others I haven’t seen unMSTied, but I’d like to.

    One of the very few I would never watch is “Mighty Jack.” First of all, it isn’t a movie, it’s a catastrophic re-editing of a foreign television series. Second of all, it sucks.

    The same could be said of “Time of the Apes” and the two “Fugitive Alien” films, but for me they aren’t as painful as “Mighty Jack.”

    I would also be very reluctant to watch “The Painted Hills,” but that’s more a matter of taste. It probably would have seemed fine to me as a kid, and would seem like a good way to distract a child to me as a parent. Just not something I’d watch on my own.

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  48. Kay says:

    Okay, I changed my mind the worst movie is the Beast of Yucca Flats. Kitten With a Whip, Sidehackers, and the Castle of Fu Manchu are runner-ups. Fugitive Alien brought us the unforgettable “He tried to kill him with a forklift”, so that’s out of the running. (Sorry, Sandy Frank, better luck next time.)

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  49. Fred P says:

    Alien from L.A. If I hear Kathy Irelands voice again in that one. I’ll gouge my own eyes out. Manos is right there though. For the record I love “Ring of Terror” it’s the first episode I ever saw and it hooked me. I’m surprised by how many listed it !!!! maybe unriffed it wouldn’t be great but way better than quite a few others.

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  50. BebopKate says:

    I seem to be in the Coleman Francis/Monster-a-Go-Go majority here. Yeah, while Monster-a-Go-Go has it’s goofy moments, there’s a point at which it just drags on and on and on and…oh God.

    Of the Coleman Francis Master Trilogy, the most watchable is Skydivers for me. Of course, that only means I’m slightly less reluctant to gouge out my eyeballs for that one then, say, Red Zone Cuba.

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