This week’s episode guide got me to thinking about the movies that I think could have been good with a better budget/actor/script. “Leech Woman” has an interesting premise, but it’s pretty much squashed by all the mediocrity around it.
So that brings me to my suggestion: What movie could conceivably be remade into a competent film (“The Island”/Parts: The Clonus Horror” excluded, of course).
My pick would be “City Limits.” It’s got all the ingredients: post-apocalyptic setting, motorcycle gangs who are into comic books, shadowy government conspiracy. It could work!
What’s your pick?
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If you omitted the stock footage of babboons and the Casablanca stuff, maybe something could be done with “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.” Of course, if you did that, it’d pretty much be “Lawnmower Man 2: Job’s War,” now that I think about it. So nevermind.
How about MANOS (“the hands of fate”)? Wait, don’t jump on me just yet. Think about it. We add some kicky musical numbers, let Torgo survive (maybe even win), lose the creepy kid, put in more girls in skimpy outfits, add a narrator. . . and we’ve got The Rocky Horror Picture Show!
Slightly seriouser though, I think Manos does have a good exploitation storyline: normal couple gets caught up through no fault of their own in a web of satanic debauchery.
I was going to suggest Overdrawn at the Memory Bank as well… But I think that a competent, bigger-budget remake would turn out to be just a ripoff of The Matrix, lol.
“Time Chasers” could be interesting, though it would take an especially talented bunch to make it more than a bunch of sci-fi time travel cliches.
First Spaceship On Venus. It was colorful fun as it is. If they had written a better ending, one that wasn’t totally bonkers and full of inexplicably exploding poo and that nonsensical stuff about being hurled off the planet, it would have been a pretty fun, competent attempt at portraying space exploration.
Of course, a few movies weren’t that incompetent to begin with, just fun to make fun of. The original Hercules with Steve Reeves is not really a bad film as it is, but it still worked very well for the show because even great fantasy stories, once you start to rationalize them, are inherently goofy.
I’ve always thought Space Mutiny had an interesting premise…
Due to overpopulation, mankind embarks on a journey across the galaxy to find a suitable home. Along the way, disgruntled passengers decide to take over the ship, and force them into hostile territory.
There are a number of issues that need to be resolved… I mean, they have a docking bay and spaceships, so why don’t the people who want to leave, just leave?
Heh. Of course, anyone who has seen the unedited version can tell you that Kalgan’s plan involved a bit more than just sending the ship into another system. There was slavery stuff.
Anyway, Space Mutiny has my vote.
Red Zone Cuba.
No, no, hear me out. Get an actual cast of actual actors, and a director who knows what to do, and you’re more than halfway there to a compelling story of three desperate drifters caught up in the Bay of Pigs.
The second half of the film needs the most work, clearly. I’d set it up as a half-assed attempt at a bank heist instead of all the shenanigans with Whatever the Hell His Name Was’ wife and the tungsten mine (not to mention the bizarre detour into murdering roadside restaurant cooks and their daughters). Still ends the same way, of course, with Griffin shot down like a mangy dog.
In the $100 million version, the drifters are played by George Clooney (Griffin), Steve Buscemi (“My dad gave me this ring!”) and Danny Trejo (the other one). Directed by Quentin Tarantino, perhaps.
I’d go with Red Zone Cuba. I think that you could make it into an interesting study of the underclass of the late-60s. Cook and Landis are ex-cons whose status as such precludes them from finding good jobs, and they wander the country looking for work. There is no place in society for them or for Grffin, which could be mad einto a thoughtful examination of the plight of ex-cons and the justice system. From their trip to Cuba to their crime spree when they get back, their primary motivation is to “go legit.” I think you could make a very thoughtful drama on that premise. Or, you could have a story like “In Cold Blood” (as the MST guys pointed out.
Under no circumstances could Coleman Francis or Tony Cardoza be involved in any way, though.
I vote “Time Chasers,” which, compared to most episodes, was surprisingly creative.
“Girl in Gold Boots” might make a good movie. It’s got a good premise (making it “big” at a Halloween-themed nightclub, resisting the evils of money, exploitation, and drugs and stuff) and it’s got lots of girls shaking their dinners.
Also, Space Mutiny for all the reasons given by #6.
Oh, and “Bloodlust” is at least based on a good story, so it’s got potential. Same goes for “Hamlet” as well.
At first I thought this would be the hardest topic ever posted on this forum, but then I pulled up a list of the movies. When you think about it many of them could probably have been salvaged by better writing, acting and/or production values.
My picks for those with the most potential:
With some work at the typewriter Space Travelers could have been a credible drama.
If it were coherent :wink: and the acting better, Danger Diabolik might have been an exciting story about dashing criminal.
Then you have the ones like The Creeping Terror that I doubt could be salvaged even if James Cameron came in with a 50 million dollar budget.
My vote would be for “Teenagers From Outer Space,” which, despite a horrible title & monster effects I thought was a pretty good movie the first time around.
I figure you just take the thing whole cloth, keep it in the 50s and give a Tim Burton-esqe kinda feeling and it would still work.
I hope that the reference to “The Island/Parts: The Clonus Horror” is not supposed to mean that “Parts” is off limits as a suggestion because you think that “The Island” is competent or good in any way. It’s a dreadfully made, and downright stupid movie. I actually think “Parts” is a much better movie than “The Island”, and probably one of the few MST movies that isn’t all that bad on it’s own. The Island, on the other hand, is a horrid piece of trash.
As for the topic of discussion I’ve found it’s kind of hard to think of any good suggestions because almost every MST movie that has an even mildly interesting core story idea is either already a rip off of an earlier film, or too similar to a film that came later (but not in as plagiaristic a way as the Island). The rest seem to me to be very weak or such basic genre stories that a remake would just be pointless. I was originally thinking Robot Holocaust, but that is similar to the story of the future war in Terminator (and many other sci-fi stories), and so if they ever get around to making a good movie about that… Time Chasers would also be a possibility if it hadn’t already been done much better as Back to the Future 2. I’ve run into this with any MST episode I could think of myself, but I’m interested in hearing others ideas.
Hahaha LDG #11. The catering budget on any James Cameron movie would probably be over $50 million…
I’d go with Stranded in Space, which isn’t too bad to begin with. Really its only major sin is the icky veneer of Seventiesness. Otherwise you have a SF variation of The Fugitive set in a vaguely Orwellian society.
Speaking of which, a good Weekend Discussion topic would be MST3K movies which were actually halfway tolerable.
Hmmm…
I’ll exclude SPACE TRAVELLERS and THIS ISLAND EARTH, since they actually did have the big studio budget.
And I’ve also got to ignore all of the cheapie knock offs of big budget films (like, say, CAVE DWELLERS or OPERATION DOUBLE 007).
Actually, based on those two rules, you lose a lot of episodes….
So scrap that… I want to see a competent re-make of RED ZONE CUBA – Quentin Tarantino would be a good director for it (unless he just remade it into Ingloriouls Basterds, that is)
Good question.
I don’t know, I think that films like “Daddy-O” and “The Beatniks” could make for great serious noir if the laughs and songs were played down.
But where would that leave us when it comes to fun?
I always felt ‘The Girl in Lovers Lane’ was a half decent movie spoilt by a rotten ending- instead of killing off the utterly blameless girl, why not have Big Stupid step in at the last minute to save her and have him get killed instead? Just a though…
I’m also a bit of a closet fan of ‘The Crawling Eye’- if it had been made in Hollywood instead of here in Britain and had someone beter than Forrest Tucker in the lead role then who knows?
To all those suggesting Space Mutiny- I think it would be ather easier to turn that pile of garbage into a Spaceballs-style spoof than a legit drama.
I would like to start out with a short. How about John Waters remaking ‘Mr B Natural’ starring Tori Spelling!? If he did it in the vein of ‘Hairspray’ I am sure it would be a hit. Tori would not even have to act either.
For the main feature I would recommend David Lynch redoing ‘Monster A-Go-Go’. It would seem like an impossible task but if anyone could do pull it off, Lynch could. Visualize Eraserhead with a Twin Peaks soundtrack.
I’m probably in the minority in this one, but I’ve always kind of liked “The Touch of Satan” and thought that with a little more polish it could actually be a really interesting supernatural thriller.
While the film is already pretty competent already, I think Kitten with a Whip would be a interesting movie to re-make in a contemporary setting. If she weren’t such a bat-****e insane trainwreck, Lindsay Lohan would have been a good selection for playing the Ann-Margret role. Maybe George Clooney as Sen. David Stratton. Directed by…ummmm…ME! :wink:
If The Island is a rip off of Parts the Clonus Horror, then isn’t Top Gun a rip off of The Starfighters?
I think they could remake The Final Sacrifice in to a good movie, maybe.
The Black Scorpion. Well…maybe thats already a decent enough B monster movie now. How about Devil Doll?
Time Chasers
Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
I was a Teenage Werewolf
Zombie Nightmare
Thank you Ross (#18), for putting in a good word for The Girl in Lover’s Lane, the MST3K film that I consistently defend. However, I’m not picking that one for a remake, because what makes that film fun for me is it’s innocent 1950’s charm. A modern remake would probably see Big Stupid choose Danny over Carrie and spin off into a homoerotic saga.
Instead, my choice is Parts: The Clonus Horror. It’s a pretty good movie, limited mainly by a small budget and the fact that it was made in the era of bad film, also known as the 1970’s. I didn’t see The Island, since I heard it was pretty crappy. But I do understand why someone chose to rip off the premise of Parts, because it’s very clever and highly believable. The science behind it, while simplified, is reasonably plausible. It makes every bit of sense politically: you can bet that if we had cloning technology that every rich senator and corporate kingpin would keep it a well-guarded secret so they could live forever. The story about an escaped clone trying to distinguish between reality and the constructed fantasy world around him is compelling. I remember when I first recorded this one, my tape died half-way through, and it was months before I was able to see the latter half. And I really wanted to know what happened! So obviously the plot works well enough to keep the audience in suspense.
Given the whole fiasco over The Island ripping off Parts, I don’t imagine that a quality remake will ever happen, but it’s still my choice as the most worthy MST3K film.
I think Master Ninja could have made a great movie or TV series with better actors (Lee Van Cleef was okay, but….nah…recast him too) and a non-80s writing staff. If it took itself seriously as a drama, instead of wavering between drama, comedy and buddy-cop action show, it might have potential.
For those of you suggesting “Overdrawn At The Memory Bank”, I will point out that I have a book on “Blade Runner” and it references the short story that Memory Bank was based on as a key influence on the cyberpunk genre. (Which, when I read that, I couldn’t quite take seriously.)
But for a remake, they would have to not shoot it on videotape (hell, even HDV would be an improvement) and have a lot better special effects. Unfortunately, I think the Casablanca stuff in the original, so you’d need someone that could believably play “Aram Fingle”.
Several come to mind which I think with better writing/directing/acting/all of the aforementioned could’ve been good movies.
“Parts: The Clonus Horror” certainly had potential and actually some decent actors in supporting roles, but the two young leads were just awful.
“Time Chasers” had an interesting premise but suffered from poor direction and acting. As Crow said, “I refuse to accept this guy as our leading man!”.
Sampo mentioned “City Limits”, which again had some decent actors but suffered from poor direction.
Space Travelers had everything: a terrific cast and director, and even the storyline was solid. The end result was still disappointing. Sometimes I guess a promising movie can still bomb.
Stranded in Space was a TV pilot but that still had an interesting storyline. Better acting might’ve made the difference.
Being from Another Planet is another that falls into the “better acting and direction could’ve saved it” category.
Tormented would’ve been better if not for the acting and the cheesy special effects. Today’s CGI and better actors could make this into a winner.
Moon Zero Two would’ve been ok if it weren’t so over the top with late Sixties grooviness.
The Painted Hills was a Lassie movie and as a kid I loved those so, well, ’nuff said I guess. I just never saw this as being a cheesy movie to be ripped by the Brains. I guess my sentimentality gets the better of me on this one.
Heck, even Mitchell might’ve been ok if they’d cast Burt Reynolds or Clint Eastwood in the lead instead of sweaty doughy guy Joe Don Baker.
I offer 2 and I think I’ll be alone with these 2 as well. 1st. Think that the Hell Cats has one of the most promising ideas for a story there is, but the horrible cast, effects editing, filming, lighting, sound…. well you get it. But the idea about FBI agents convincing a man to go undercover with the gang that killed his brother, well it could definately work.
I main pick though would be The Sword and the Dragon. GIve that film to Del Toro and you have an insanly cool fantasy flick. He could even do the Berman joke as a short in the previews!
Time Chasers: As bad as the movie was, it did have an interesting premise and could be turned into something watchable.
Angels Revenge: This has “Quentin Tarantino, Please Remake Me!” written all over it.
Danger! Death Ray!: Maybe this could be the next James Bond movie?
Hamlet ?
I think all of the films riffed on by MST3K deserved it. None of them could be made into good movies. None. And, if you are a movie director who’s going to remake one of these films, get out of the business. Taking a movie like “Parts: The Clonus Horror” or “It Conquered The World” and turning it into another movie, “The Island” and “Zontar: The Thing From Venus”, respectively, is an obvious sign that you really shouldn’t be making movies.
I’ve often considered this question. I think it comes down to films with decent premises that might even be pretty effective in the version the Brains riffed on, but need some tweaking in terms of script or execution to make into strong films. My suggestions would be “The Screaming Skull” (perhaps improved to the point where an audience member might actually die of fright) and “Devil Doll,” a film that, despite its faults, presents an interesting variation on a familiar horror theme. But then, I’d also like to see a remake of “What to Do on a Date.”
Zombie Nightmare,Soultaker, City Limits….When did Volume 8 become out of print? and does anyone know why?
My top two choices are already taken:
The obvious winner (for me) is Stranded in Space. At the end of that episode I said to myself, “Given the renaissance of TV sci-fi in the 1990’s, why hasn’t anyone given this a try again?”
My second pick was “Hamlet.” The script doesn’t need any doctoring at all.
I think “Girls Town” would make a credible remake, although the quaint boarding house run by nuns might not fly today. But perhaps Paul Anka could make a cameo as the father of the murdered girl.
“Tormented” could be remade if it were given a nice B-plot and the effects weren’t so cheesy. (“Tom Stewart killed me!”) I think that it could be a psychological creep-out movie if he couldn’t see the girl… just heard her voice.
“Gunslinger” is another possibility. I think the idea of a woman in a Western being something other than a schoolmarm has a lot of potential. And Roger Corman could direct again.
Ironically, the film that I want least to be remade has been: “Hobgoblins.” *sigh* My mother always said that the world was unfair.
Being from Another Planet is my choice, hands down. I’ve always loved the concept of an alien hidden in King Tut’s tomb. Get rid of the university setting and increase the mummy mayhem (making Ankh-Venharis actually interesting wouldn’t hurt either), and there’s plenty of potential for a good shocker.
How bout I accuse my parents? If they sorta made it into a mob tie film, it probaly wouldnt be that bad :lol:
How about “The Amazing Colossal Man” It’s not nearly as bad as most and could be made to really work with the state of the art special effects today. Just tweak the writing a little bit, you know the one cell heart thing and we really might have a Sci fi classic.
I think “Laserblast” with a better budget could be a really good sci fi movie.One that could maybe actually earn 2 1/2 stars or better. :wink:
35, I was thinking Tormented too! Its not really that bad a of a movie.
I also think Squirm could be a good remake.
Racket Girls might be the most impossible to remake well – just nothing to work with.
Giant Spider Invasion. Why? Replace the Volkswagon spiders with CGI spiders and you have a good, yet less creative movie. It could make a good big n’ dumb action movie if it was directed by Michael Bay. Either that or a cheesy SyFy channel origional movie.
Track of the Moon Beast. Get a better band than “The Band that Played California Lady,” ditch the pink terry cloth romper and the crocheted bra-dress, have Johnny Longbow actually shoot a few people, and get a better monster. I know were-monster movies have been done to death, but I do like the alien-godzilla idea. And there is something endearingly pathetic about an innocent man being turned into a Hyde-ish creature (see also It Came by Night where the guy turns into a bat)
Oh and Boggy Creek II the Legend Continues has a nice enviro-friendly message that would play well these days if it were written better and used less of Charles B. Pierce and his family (none preferably). Keep the mud-wrestling though.
It’s already been mentioned, but my vote goes to Touch of Satan. The story is fairly intriguing as is. With some better actors and something resembling a budget, I think it could be salvaged. They might find a nicer place for the fish to live.
#20 & #42 stole my thunder! Having recently watched it, Touch of Satan did achieve something: it creeps the hell out of me! I find the premise engrossing, and the storyline isn’t all that horrible. Add that super-old grandma who kills, and the ending where the “hero” gives up his soul to save the woman he falls in love with. There was an eerie tone to the whole movie, something which many of today’s supposed “suspense” movies don’t do quite as well. With a better budget and, of course, dialogue, it could have been really good!
@ #11 LDG Space Travelers was actually a foreshadow of “Apollo 13” a year before the actual event took place, if you think about it!
Being From Another Planet/Stranded In Space/Master Ninja/Time Chasers all seemed like good candidates to me at first, but how ’bout “Swamp Diamonds”?
Just for laughs, how about a spin-off of “Riding With Death” called “Code Name: Cup-Cake”?
“Time3 Chasers”, while a good premise and valiant effort by the rookie filmmakers, with a bigger budget and somewhat better actors could be a definite plus (certainly better then The Matrix II and III. :mrgreen:
Le4t’s see , Meryl Streep as the girlfriend/reporter-who is secretly studying the art of French cuisine, Jim Carey as the mechanic, although I guess that’s not much of an actor improvement, now who’s Bob Evil…..?
Interestiong choice abovr re: Devil Doll.
it sort or was remade.. or IT WAS a remake of truly creepy dummy and ventiliquist starrin Eric Von Stroheim(one of historys great early directors) called “The Great Gabbo) it will truly creep you out.
Other than that big budget remake would HAVE to be :
1 The Crawling Eye.
2. Mole People
3.Prince of Space ..(remade purpousely as a comedy)
4. Would say Mr. B.Natural but it HAS been made again..every week “American Idol”
I thought “Final Sacrifice” had its good moments. It would need much better continuity, better effects, and better actors, but it could work. Robert DeNiro as Rowsdower (the name goes!), Christopher Walken as Lavorris, and anyone else as Troy, and we might have a decent movie here.
Why do people keep saying Hamlet? Isn’t the premise of the first host segment that there are competently executed Hamlet movies (i.e., the ones Mike actually wants to see)?
can anyone tell me why volume 8 is out of print