That reminded me of a suggestion I got a few weeks ago from alert reader Christian:
It might be interesting to discuss gay riffs.
As an example, in “Hired! Part II”, the dude says, “I remember one of the first things that Harry drilled into me…” and Crow riffs, “was Harry”.
Or, many times when a male character says something to another male character that can be misconstrued as homoerotic, the riff will be a provocative sounding, “Say!”
As an example of that, I always crack up at the pasty old Mole Men leering at the newcomers and Crow murmuring “Say…hmmm…”
What’s your pick?
One more thing: I expect a spirit of tolerance in this thread. The attitude BBI has is that gay sex — like ALL sex — is hilarious. Which is certainly true. That’s pretty much the tone I expect here. Irreverence is fine, intolerance is not. If you disapprove of gayness, you have a right to your opinion, but please keep it to yourself. We’re not discussing gayness, we’re discussing the jokes BBI has made over the years about it. Thank you.
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My favorite homoerotic joke will always be from Manhunt in Space when winkie goes on about he will “miss the gay nightlife” Other than that I also like in Final Justice whenever JDB exits his cell he has to go through this odd toll booth thing in the hallway and Mike and the bots give the guard who raises the toll gate a sterotypical gay inflection to his voice ie “Ding Ding Bridge up”
From Hobgoblins:
“I’m sorry, the donkey mud wrestlers must use the rear entrance.”
Crow: “Well, you’re the expert on that…”
That still makes me lose it every time I watch it. Also, in the short “Young Man’s Fancy”, there are a couple lines the two college boys say (like “we’re going to catch a shower” ) to which M&TB can only reply with an incredulous “wow…”
Plus, there’s “Hey, you can hardly see where you bit me!”
Gay jokes are my 2nd favorite behind fat jokes. Now if you have a fat, gay person, look out! Maybe it’s because fat people and gay people are just so easy to make fun of.
Seconding the “gay night life” “uhh, insert joke here” one :)
From Mr B Natural
Mr. B: I got your message. You awakened me!
Servo [as the kid]: So I’m into guys now?
Wasn’t there a riff in the short “Progress Island”, when the camera focuses on a classical painting of a rather…mmm…fey fellow?
“…*I’m* not talking to you!”
*giggles* PROGRESS!
Final Episode: There’s a stud coming.
Still cracks me up.
Zap- Come on baby, don’t let me down!
Troy- I won’t Rowsdower!
I always liked the Oscar Wilde references in the early years.
Phantom Creeps henchman: “There’s something queer about that house!” Joel: “Yeah, it was Oscar Wilde’s birthplace. So what?” and from something i can’t remember: “Oscar Wilde only wished he was this gay!”
The approach to gay jokes was one of the things that seemed to drift over the years. For instance Bill’s Crow’s Hobgoblin line (#2 above) seemed more condescending than Joel’s riffs, but maybe that was just the character’s overall personality rather than an change of attitude in the writer’s room.
I can think of several riffs but I’ll just go with the first and leave the rest for someone else. At the end of the good natured brawling scene in Hercules and the Captive Women, the midget and Hymeus stand up from behind an a knocked over table and Joel riffs “Ugh, they’re bathing together. That’s really weird.”
From Mole People:
Alfred The Butler: “No one has to tell Mr. Wayne about our little soiree”.
Lieutenant Crown Roast: “Ohh, they ARE evil!”.
Rowsdower (to his car): Don’t let me down baby.
Servo as Troy: I won’t Rowsdower.
@bad wolf : The second Oscar Wilde riff was in “Mr B Natural”
Oh, and can we forget “Once Upon a Honeymoon”? Hehehe!
Favorite: “gay night life” jokes from Manhunt in Space
Runner Up: From Hamlet when they are chasing the ghost and trying to get him to talk. I thing it was Mike that said in a drag queen’s voice “I don’t think so, breeder.”
One that really stuck out was one from Project: Venezuela. The narrator makes the comment “Now if I can only lick this language problem”, to which Crow adds “And Escobar here.”
The joke I have often stated is the “naughtiest” in MST3K history also fits into this category. It’s during a Rocky Jones episode and it goes like this:
Commanding Officer on video phone: “I’m glad to find you in, Rocky.”
Crow in response for the receiving character, who was Rocky: “But I’m not in, Rocky.”
It was probably a few viewings before I even noticed what seemed like an unremarkable line delivered in a mild tone without any antics. Once I did notice it, really notice it and the implications, it had me rolling with laughter. Great stuff delivered with subtly.
Granted, this topic could become mean spirited, but taken
in a right spirit is an okay subject. For example, I’m
generally a Progressive politically but riffs on the Kennedys
are generally okay, however, there was one (in The Dead Talk back?)
alluding to Ted Kennedy’s accident and the death of Mary Joe Kopechne
which I thought crossed the line and just wasn’t humorous.
So as Stepehen Colbert would say…”moving on”:
there’s Prince of Space’s fey fight with Krankor’s
minions- and for that matter PoS’s and Krankor’s guys costumes.
Hah, hah, hah!
One of the Rocky Jones episodes had a riff about riding the rocket which always killed me! When they did a naughty riff sometimes Joel would cut them off in the middle, or say ‘Let it lie’ which made it funnier. Would the classic ‘Washing and wiping’ scene from ‘It Conquered the World’ count?
Assignment Venezuela:
“Ray and I drove off into the hot night. His hand found my thigh…”
And any of the Sam Casey/Buffalo Bill jokes in Riding With Death. Truly one of the greatest romances in all of MST3K. “Want a table dance, Lazy Rider?”
I see someone already came up with the “Progress Island USA” one, which is one of my favourites, so I think I’ll talk about what I think are the first ones I’ve seen: Cave Dwellers. After Ator is captured, and he and the villain finally meet, right away Crow gives him an effeminate air:
“You don’t find me repulsive, do you?”
Reaching out and touching Ator’s pecs, Tom (I think) does a little “ding dong”.
And then, of course, there’s the final “Come on, Girls!” This whole routine constantly cracks me up.
Also, in Girl in Gold Boots, Buzz is attacking Critter, and Tom pipes up at one point, “Get it? I’m G A Y!”
That’s it for now.
After a long nap by the campfire, our young hero Troy stretches and lovingly purrs Rowsdower!
Rob: *heh* Not to be pedantic, but DIABOLIK being one of my favorite movies and favorite MSTies that line’s delivery is so funny because of the delivery and the way the line is written: “Is that Stud coming?”
It’s not a MST episode but the Film Crew take on Giant of Marathon, especially the ending where the guys have to endure Steve Reeves and the guys are running around in their underwear. Just that whole section is hysterical.
A difficult subject. Eh, perhaps not that difficult. The gay jokes in MST3K have never bothered me that much; they seem to me part of the show’s irreverent attitude towards just about every single human behavior and institution under the sun. If I’ve got any complaint it’s that the gay jokes are sometimes a bit too easy and obvious–lisping, saying things like “Hey there, sailor!” (or “thailor” rather), and so on.
The gay truck sex riffs from Riding with Death have to be the best. “Drained and satisfied, I’m tracing lazy circles on your cab right now…” Also there’s the numerous hints in the Sci-Fi era that Observer is rather omnisexual.
And then there’s this from Fugitive Alien II:
(some minor character) “There’s a girl I can’t wait to see!”
(Joel): “A girl! You switch-hitter, you.”
I just realised that the above Girl in Gold Boots riff isn’t my favourite. For me, the best one comes when Buzz is chased into the dead end by Harry Blatz. I love the moment when Harry turns the corner, and Mike pipes up “Thought you could break up with me, huh?” That kills me everytime.
BTW, are we just doing in-movie riffs, or can we include the host segments as well? If we can include them, then this thread would just keep going on forever. And just for interest’s sake, my favourite host segments are:
The whole “Crow marries Tom” storyline from Racket Girls.
“Love: SoL Style!” Lots of great moments in that one.
Then there’s the whole “Didn’t Mean to Turn You On” host segment:
“See, right there! You did *so* mean to turn me on!” “Yeah, I did.”
Cal, I’m in one of these boxes, find me!
From Hobgoblins- “There’s a girl touching me! YUCK!”
In Night of the Blood Beast, the running commentary about the forbidden love of John Corcoran and the Blood Beast. Also:
(paraphrasing)
“Today I’d like to talk to you about some young girls I’ve gotten to know very well.”
“And why I’m being fired.” — The Home Economics Story
“*Wow!*”
“Dear movie, thank you SO much for this scene!” — The Thing That Couldn’t Die
“Look, I’m a HUGE lesbian, if you could just…!”—Revenge of the Creature
My favorite had to be in Mr. B. Natural when Mr. B is dancing and Joel says, “Oscar Wilde only dreamed of being this gay.”
I was up practically half the night on that one. Every time I thought of it, I started laughing again!
As one of the gay denizens of the board, I feel especially qualified to have an opinion (as if I don’t always.)
I have to go along with monoceros4 and say the truck sex riffs from Riding with Death. I think that’s the most out-there they ever got.
I did sense a little bit of homophobia on occasion in the show, though. The loud objections whenever any male skin is displayed come across to me as “I’d better act repulsed or else people will think I’m gay.”
That’s a small thing, though, and I don’t think there’s any mean-spiritedness about it. The gay jokes and gay subtext, when it occurred, were handled pretty well in MST3K.
Another:
(paraphrasing)
“To see the future twist and bend with gay confusion.”
“Uh-HUH.” — The Undead (Lucifer’s fey demeanor is commented on throughout the film; odd that there were no Mr. B Natural jokes, what with the hat and all)
“It’s Chad and Trevor, they found each other.” — Cave Dwellers
The “the Mads at home” sequence in Deep 13 from The Beginning of the End
***
Although this is not a gay joke, it’s sex-related and IMHO memorable.
“I mean, what IS a taboo, *really*?” — Revenge of the Creature
Oh, I remember one that was hilarious!
From “Cave Dwellers.” When the Ator says to the girl with the hubcap on her chest:
“He wants your Father’s knowlege.”
Crow: “And your Mother’s wardrobe!”
Here are a couple…
(From “Assignment: Venezuela”, after the narrator mentions the the guy piloting the ferry boat)
MIKE: Nice guy, drove the boat well, however he want to live his life, it’s none of my business.
(From the parade scene in “Century 21 Calling)
MIKE: Seattle celebrates Pride Week.
SERVO: I’m gaaaaay!
CROW: I feel good about me!
From Assignment: Venezuela: “Nice enough fellow, drove the boat well, and how he lives is none of my business.”
Riding With Death: “Would it be that hard to kiss him?”
MST3K: The Movie: “I’ll always love you, BRAAAAK!”
Cave Dwellers: “Tit’s all over, Ator!”
Plus there’s the incredibly fey Congressman from Starfighters. The Scott Thorsen joke never ceases to crack me up.
“Today is the day dedicated to Uranus!” It would have been so easy to go overboard on that one, but they handled it just right.
From Horror of Party Beach: “I can’t touch you, you’re a lady!” :-))
I’m going to go with the “Cake and Shake” invention from I Accuse My Parents. Beyond the obvious joke, there’s the subtle (or not so) lead into the fact that Dr. F and Frank have baked a male stripper — and Trace’s fondling of the cake in anticipation is just hilarious.
>>>the incredibly fey Congressman from Starfighters
“Son, your father and I are worried…”
***
More randomness:
“Don’t ask, don’t tell, but have a damned good time!” — The Deadly Mantis
“I think there are deeper issues between these two.” — Laserblast
“Why don’t I just lay on him? I know I want to!” — Terror from the Year 5000
“This is Tommy Kirk REALLY acting!” — Village of the Giants
“This is not in keeping with the spirit of Pride Week!” — Horror at Party Beach
“He’s just makin’ sure he hates this.” — Parts: The Clonus Horror (which had a TON of others)
(Servo as the Jack Perkins-lookalike nightclub owner in Master Ninja I): They used to call me Three-Dollar-Bill Bojangles Robinson!
That’s three-jokes-in-one right there.
“I am soooo heterosexual!”
Hobgoblins:
Club Scum Emcee, “I’m sorry. The donkey mud wrestlers are supposed to use the rear entrance.”
Crow, “Well you’re the expert on that.”
Manhunt in Space:
Winky, “Give me my little black book and the gay night life.”
Winky, “We’d rather ride the rocket.”
There are no actual jokes with those two lines, but the reactions from Joel and the ‘Bots make the jokes for us.
Joel: Once again Biggs has saved Danny from a heterosexual experience.
I always loved it when J&TB said, “We think your song is fabulououououous!” at the end of “If Chauffeurs Ruled the World.” I wish that they would have included that on the “Clowns in the Sky” CD. Of course, Dr. F followed that up with, “Oh, push the button, Judy Garland.”
Here’s another:
Riding With Death: The string of jokes as Buffalo Bill is helping Sam slow down his truck. The thing is, the jokes are only gay because the two trucker drivers are men.
As a person of color (white) my favorite gay jokes are the ones concerning Brain Guy…
“My many lady friends will appreciate my caution…”
“Nepenthe! NEPENTHE!” Pearl: “You are SO gay.”
@#9- The “Oscar Wilde” joke you can’t remember is from Mr. B Natural.
Can’t believe no ones mentioned the incredibly fey Grimwald prince played by Johnathan Haze in ‘Viking Women’. I always laugh when he exclaims “But you don’t understand, I’m a prince!” He says it with all the anger of Charles Nelson Reilly.
The skydivers in, well, Skydivers, who jump together: “I’m very vulnerable right now, I’m reaching out to you!”
When one skydiver does a sort of bottoms-up move: “Hey, there, take a look at that, that’s what you wanted, isn’t it? Plenty more where that came from!”
There were a LOT of gay references in Skydivers.
The first that comes to mind is Cave Dwellers:
“Tit’s all over Ator, I know we’ve been breast friends”
But there are so many other great ones, also love the Gay Nightlife jokes in Manhunt in Space which has also been mentioned many a time. And Rowsdower and Troy.
One I haven’t seen yet in in Final Justice when our friend Joe Don is struggling for a gun near the end and Mike goes “Oh no, I’m getting aroused!” Hilarity. And in Jack Frost:
“Every man I meet is either gay or a bear!”
Also love it when things are sooo gay and they don’t do anything. Like in Pod People with the sterotype gay. They just laugh, no need to make any jokes.
Some gay riffs:
1) The Girl in Lovers’ Lane: The whole dynamic between Big Stupid and Sex Poodle. Lots of riffs there.
2) The closing credits in Cave Dwellers: “Oh, look! Chad and Trevor found each other!”
3) You might also include the scene in Th Final Sacrifice in which Servo starts to hum a little tune: “Rowsdower, Rowsdower, Boppity-boppity-bowsdower…” Is that a gay riff?
“Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Wrestler?”