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Weekend Discussion Thread: Gay Riffs

We did “Cave Dwellers” in the episode guide, and somebody in the comments said that one time he watched it he counted 30 gay jokes, and another person said it may have had the most blatant gay subtext of any MSTed movie.

That reminded me of a suggestion I got a few weeks ago from alert reader Christian:

It might be interesting to discuss gay riffs.

As an example, in “Hired! Part II”, the dude says, “I remember one of the first things that Harry drilled into me…” and Crow riffs, “was Harry”.

Or, many times when a male character says something to another male character that can be misconstrued as homoerotic, the riff will be a provocative sounding, “Say!”

As an example of that, I always crack up at the pasty old Mole Men leering at the newcomers and Crow murmuring “Say…hmmm…”

What’s your pick?

One more thing: I expect a spirit of tolerance in this thread. The attitude BBI has is that gay sex — like ALL sex — is hilarious. Which is certainly true. That’s pretty much the tone I expect here. Irreverence is fine, intolerance is not. If you disapprove of gayness, you have a right to your opinion, but please keep it to yourself. We’re not discussing gayness, we’re discussing the jokes BBI has made over the years about it. Thank you.

199 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Gay Riffs”

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  1. Titanius Anglesmith, Fancy Man of Cornwood says:

    “It Lives By Night”: I can’t recall it word for word, but it was the line where they say that the sheriff only needs a feather boa and a cigarette holder and he’d be ready to hit the gay clubs. Something like that. Anybody?

       1 likes

  2. MPSh says:

    And has anybody mentioned “I think your cape is FAAAABULOUSSSSS!”

       2 likes

  3. “Think we should try some of that kissing, Burt? No?…”

       2 likes

  4. I always got a chuckle out of the comments surrounding (usually beefy) male stars, when they would say something along the lines of “what a butt!” Or “say what you like, but has a nice rump!” If I recall, they do it with Claude Akins in Master Ninja, and Joe Don Baker in one of his (don’t recall which).

       0 likes

  5. Just remembered there’s also Hercules Against the Moon Men, when Crow sees Herc and says something like “his body makes me feel funny, Joel.”

       1 likes

  6. Not Merritt Stone says:

    My fav is from Parts: TCH when the America bound Aryan Clone says “I’ve gotta go pack!” which Mike follows up with “Then I’ve gotta get ready to go.”

    I also recall another Oscar Wilde reference in Master Ninja during the b/w dancing footage: “Oscar’s back and he’s as Wilde as ever!”

       0 likes

  7. Professor Gunther says:

    #38: you reminded me of one of my favourite lines from Attack of the Giant Leeches: “That’s where my daddy met my pappy.” :-))

       1 likes

  8. Flying Saucers Over Oz says:

    Re: #51. You’re referring to a moment where the sheriff has his cigarette holder, his cowboy hat, his sunglasses, and Crow comments “All he needs is a feather boa…”

    As another Gay poster, I didn’t mind most of the riffs. In fact, not only do I suspect a Gay presence on the show, but they were pretty laid-back about Gays for mid-westerners. And at least one Gay-themed book, MONSTERS IN THE CLOSET, praises the show for pointing out the homosexual under-currents in many of the repressed old movies and shorts.

    One of the odder bits was the sketch from THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN’T DIE where Mike unexpectedly tunes in Deep 13 to discover the Mads, unaware they’re being watched, lounging about in robes, fuzzy slippers, and facial masks, watching daytime TV (“Hey! VICKI’s on!”). That felt a little like they were trying to… imply something but opted to make the Mads do “femmy” stuff rather than having them do “Gay” stuff and then mocking them for it.

       5 likes

  9. MikeK says:

    @58 Flying Saucers Over Oz

    The Private Life of Dr. F and TV’s Frank, as I call it, is actually from The Beginning of the End.

       1 likes

  10. okerry says:

    Mike in Portland said: I did sense a little bit of homophobia on occasion in the show, though. The loud objections whenever any male skin is displayed come across to me as “I’d better act repulsed or else people will think I’m gay.”

    As a straight female, Mike in Portland, let me just add that most of the time when male skin was displayed in an MST3K movie it *was* pretty repulsive for *anyone*! :-D

       5 likes

  11. hellokittee says:

    I too never found any of the gay jokes mean spirited in any way. The show would not have been funny if I genuinely felt that there was any malice behind ANY of the riffs (even when they make fun of someone like say Joe Don Baker, you always kind of felt like there was maybe a little bit of love behind it. ok maybe “love” is kind of a stretch…).

    Anyway, “Once Upon a Honeymoon” is one of my favorite shorts in the whole series. I think that short had the highest saturation of gay jokes of anything they ever watched!

       1 likes

  12. Fart Bargo says:

    From one of the Rocky Jones, Winky explains to their commander that they would rather “ride the rocket” than vacation. Joel and the bots respond with whistles and ahems.

    Also, I enjoyed Trace/Crow impersonation of the great Charles Nelson Reilly in several episodes.

       1 likes

  13. Eric says:

    How about the Dad in the “A Date with your Family” short:

    “Darling, I’m moving to Fire Island.”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_Island#In_popular_culture

       0 likes

  14. It’s funny that the bodyless-head character in The Thing that Couldn’t Die is mute through most of the movie but they add-lib him with a very swishy sort of Dr. Smith voice. When the hero shows him the binding amulet he even utters the familiar “Oh, the paiiiiin!”

    Night of the Blood Beast is one episode that is particularly suggestive, but ewwww….

    Oh, and “You’re hot, Mr. B!”

       1 likes

  15. Jacob says:

    In one of the Hercules movies (I can’t remember which one, as usual), one of the early shots seems to linger quite a while on one of the more buff sailors. Servo comments “Well, a little something for the camera-man…”, implying an “Oh, yeah!” moment for some of the movie’s film crew. Very, very subtle riffing, that…

       0 likes

  16. Jamie says:

    @36 …and the fight scene “…Yeah! Let me throw a gay man at you!” Now thats funny. Horror Of Party Beach 817

       0 likes

  17. California Calico says:

    I don’t know the name of the movie, but there were 2 girls, Linda and Jessica, whose relationship provided a few opportunities for lesbian subtext-“I have Melissa Etheridge, Indigo Girls, and Jill Sobule in my CD collection.”

    The host segment from *The Starfighters* where Crow helps Tom Servo *ahem* refuel.

    And of course who can forget Rifftrax’s endless gay riffs from *Plan 9 from Outerspace*? (“Dr. Smith’s gayer brother!”) I was impressed they made a reference to the Folsom Street Fair.

       2 likes

  18. Invasion of the Neptune Man says:

    #67, I was thinking of the same scene earlier today. It’s from The Thing that Couldn’t Die and the girls were preparing to share a bed in the movie. It’s a wonder that no one has mentioned all the lesbian riffs in Horrors of Spider Island yet.

       1 likes

  19. radioman970 says:

    Good topic!

    Mr. B, like others are saying. Has to be among the best. Yep, the Oscar Wilde comment… and “Oooh, Mr. Beeeeeeeeeeeee” :D

    “Ward got back!” from Mole People always has me saying it for the rest of the day. I’ll use that even when “Ward” ain’t on my TV screen.

       0 likes

  20. Colossus Prime says:

    I can’t remember the name of the short. It’s the one with the absolutely psychotic college girl hell bent on marrying a guy she’s only known for a few months. Her 30 year old Romulan roommate is talking to her boyfriend and reminicing about their courtship so far and there’s a scene where a friend comes up and says something like, “Hey, Jerry. How’s the beard?” I loose it every time.

       1 likes

  21. Watch-out-for-Snakes says:

    #42 stole my idea of Big Stupid always saving Danny from another heterosexual experience. (from The Girl in Lovers’ Lane)

    from that same episode,
    Crow(as Danny): “Bigs, should I have not put my head in the driver’s lap? Was that wrong?”

       1 likes

  22. Watch-out-for-Snakes says:

    @70: is that short The Home Economics Story, from #317 Viking Women vs. the Sea Serpent? I think that’s right. Someone verify!

       0 likes

  23. Toblerone says:

    Obscure riff from Escape 2000: “You’re not getting the Tom of Finland posters!” I wonder how many straight viewers got that reference…

       0 likes

  24. Titanius Anglesmith, Fancy Man of Cornwood says:

    “What would Liberace do? Well, I’d better not do THAT.”

       3 likes

  25. “Honey, the neighbors have a gay man on the roof, should we get one.”

       6 likes

  26. brainguy921 says:

    An embarrassment of riches to choose from on this topic, but I’ll go with Winkie outing himself (and Rocky Jones); “That’s right Sir, we’d rather ride the rocket”.

       0 likes

  27. LDG says:

    Radar Men from the Moon was brimming with subtext, especially the rather flamboyantly dressed villain. For me the best ‘gay’ riff is the one often said by Joel and the bots in tandem as the bad guys walked up behind Cody & company, who were always bent over to examine something or other. “Oh, I hate to shoot a butt like that!”

    And then there was the Naughty Little Bunny…

       0 likes

  28. Stump Chunkman says:

    At the end of Attack of the the Eye Creatures:

    Weird Guy [dazed]: What happened?

    Stud: It’s okay, they had you.

    Joel [as Weird Guy]: They had me?!

    Of course, don’t forget the weird guy’s “pajamas” (tube-dress?).

       1 likes

  29. tombrasher says:

    Young Man’s Fancy:

    While reading the letter from her son about his friend, “Alex is a real great guy, even though he’s serious minded…” Mike riffs “He is my soulmate”.

    Unrelated: Watching ‘The Big Chill’ today. In the scene where they all gather round to watch their friend’s TV show, they all riff on the intro. Anyone know of other non MST3K TV or film moments with riffing?

       0 likes

  30. Stump Chunkman says:

    Post 75: “Honey, the neighbors have a gay man on the roof, should we get one.”

    What episode is this riff from?

       0 likes

  31. rose from NJ says:

    In “Escape 2000”, Mr. President says to Trash “let’s get something straight between us” and Trash says “you comin’ on to me?”

       1 likes

  32. Kevin says:

    Girl In Gold Boots
    Buzz is watching the show, looks over at Critter who makes a head gesture, and one of the guys says “little Afternoon Delight?” Buzz looks away, looks back but Critter pays him no mind “Oh forget it!”
    Hilarious :laugh:

       1 likes

  33. (cue porn music)

       2 likes

  34. Cornjob says:

    “I wish we could get ahold of more strapping young men like that”
    “Keep your mind on your work, you’re in enough trouble allready” from Undersea Kingdom allways gets me.

    Donald Pleasance in Pumaman wearing a gold bathrobe and hoping everyone brought swimtrunks.

    In the begining of Devil Doll when Vorelli says to his puppet, “Well you were a bitch to my parents.”

    In the Rifftrax Holiday special, Santa grasping Rudolf gently on the cheeks and saying softly, “I need you tonight”, is the best by itself. The riffers mostly nonverbal responces make it even better (Kevin exclaims, “Whoah”, and Mike gets a crosseyed look).

       0 likes

  35. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    #58: I thought they were just saying the sheriff looked like a pimp.

    “I’ll put on a big stack of Melissa Etheridge, Jill Sobule, and K.D. Lang albums” is from The Thing That Couldn’t Die, which also included “Have you ever seen The Children’s Hour?” and “Do you like Amanda Beardsley? Boy, I sure do.” There may have been others. Plus the two women WERE in fact in bed together, prompting Servo’s “Dear Movie, thank you SO much for this scene!”

    I think The Deadly Mantis, notable for the dancing soldiers (and spazz-out “Corporal Donny Most”; “Those goshdarn heteros, whatta you gonna do?”), also included a riff about “the Amanda Beardsley film festival” from Marge.

    In Teenage Crime Wave, the actual movie seemed to have Terri (“you’re dirt”) sort of flirtatious with Jane or whatever her name was. I don’t think there was much riffing on it, though.

    Off topic, when Mike the hoodlum rescued the two girls, a line explaining WHY Terri wanted to bring Jane could’ve been fit in, something to the effect of “The cops didn’t believe you last time, what makes you think they’ll believe you now?!” which might have made Jane feel she had no other choice. That would have conveyed that, in her sociopathic delinquent way, Terri really cared about Jane.

       0 likes

  36. Insect Man #47 says:

    Well, I love it whenever there’s a couple of guys or gals or a guy and a gal who are in a potentially amorous situation and the bots break out the porn music. Buck a buck a wow!

       0 likes

  37. Brad says:

    In “Stranded in Space”, Benedict (Cameron Mitchell) is riding in a car along with Henry, Benedict’s assistant. Benedict says, “You’re right Henry. He won’t get away.” and makes some kind of motion with is left hand out of sight of the camera. Henry seems to get some kind of shocked look on his face as Crow says (as Henry), “Uh, take your hand off my leg, sir.”

    I break up laughing every time I watch this scene!

       0 likes

  38. robniles says:

    #80: The Once Upon A Honeymoon short. Which also heaps on a well-placed “Just go, ya big poof!”

    Parallel gag: Both Soultaker and Angels Revenge take pervy minor characters flipping through skin mags and invert the joke. The former has the convenience store clerk denying to his female SO that he’d ever look at another woman even as he’s thumbing through an issue of something, with Servo coming to his defense: “This is a man I’m looking at!” And the latter has the Freddy Fender-esque thug going to the outhouse with a centerfold and Crow commenting, “Wish I hadn’t bought a Playgirl…aw heck, they’re nude anyway!”

    Oh, and Overdrawn At The Memory Bank takes it to a whole ‘nother level with Aram Fingal walking off with his Rick persona at one point. “I’m gonna score with me tonight!”

       1 likes

  39. Canucklehead says:

    #75 It’s from Episode 701, Night of the Blood Beast. It’s from the short “Once Upon A Honeymoon.”

       0 likes

  40. Canucklehead says:

    @#70, #72 It’s from the short “Is this Love?” (or just rough sex with Michael Douglas?), from episode #514 “Teenage Strangler”.

       1 likes

  41. PirateJoe says:

    In Ring of Terror, there’s the snake killing scene, which kinda repulsed and confused me in many ways, mostly cause I didn’t really think he needed to kill the snake in the first place, and just how low was that car anyway?! But when the old med student kills the snake, the bots say in rather effeminate voices, “Stupid old snake, you ruined everything!” and “I’m gonna turn you into a pair of boots.” Actually, while the bit was funny to me, at the time I didn’t see the need to do it with gay overtones.
    I think some of the supposedly gay comments actually were more just appropriately placed bits of humor, like one time Joel said to one of the guys, maybe in Radar Men from the Moon, “Hubba hubba, what a suit!” which I thought was incredibly funny at the time. I saw it more as someone secure enough to notice and comment on another guy without worrying that someone else would think he was homosexual. I used that line a couple of times when I’d see friends in suits. Of course, I also liked the sheriff’s line in Gila Monster, “Do ya think I’m pretty?”

       0 likes

  42. Canucklehead says:

    @#67 That could be from ep. 518, “The Atomic Brain”. Even if it isn’t, I do seem to recall there was a lesbian riff when the old lady locks the Snoop Sisters in one of the bedrooms. I can’t remember the exact riff, though.

    Which, of course, reminds me of the lesbian riff in “Red Zone Cuba”. When they arrive at Chasteen’s house, the woman says “her husband’s Amanda Bearse”. Keeping in this same movie, there’s also the moment when Tom calls Chasteen “Justine?”, and later there’s “Sergeant Justine, I want you to call me Lieutenant Vivian.”

    Still keeping with lesbian riffs, there was also one in the short “21st Century Calling”. When discussing the power of the phone company to automatically direct calls to another number, a sailor finds himself talking to his fiancee’s BF. When he says he was calling her, the best friend says, “she’s here.” And Mike adds, “we’re lovers now.”

    Man, one riff leads right to the next…

       0 likes

  43. fathermushroom says:

    It would be more considerate of me to read the others’ responses first, but I’m afraid I’ll forget mine:

    “Zombie Nightmare,” when the kid is kissing his girlfriend on the tennis court. Mike: “So many women tennis players wish they were that guy.”

    “Deadly Mantis,” when the military men are listening to the radar for signs of the mantis. “Nine hours, and not a peep.” “I’ve been BUSY, Tad!”

       1 likes

  44. Canucklehead says:

    There’s also the scene in “Monster-A-Go-Go” where they’re investigating in the woods at night. You hear a woman moaning, and someone says “General!”

       0 likes

  45. Sharktopus says:

    In Progress Island USA, as the camera lingers in close-up on a portrait of an 18th or 19th century dandy I can’t identify:

    “I’m not thpeaking to you.” :laugh:

       0 likes

  46. bad wolf says:

    Good memories, everyone, and thanks for reminding me where my riff was from. Another favorite sprang to mind, the fey Devil from Out of this World: “From now on I’m going to keep a close eye on those guys.” Crow (?): “…especially when they’re showering.”

       2 likes

  47. John In Maine says:

    I love this show so much! I watched the Mr. B Natural short last night and the quotes from it are above already but that was a fave set of jokes for that one.

       1 likes

  48. TarlCabot says:

    You’re not runnin’ out of hot water are you? I stayed under quite a long time.

    Wow.

       1 likes

  49. Pet the llama says:

    The entire opening scene to Horror at Party Beach.

       2 likes

  50. NHCrypto says:

    Not sure if this counts, but I can think of a couple that I don’t think have been mentioned, both from MST3K, The Movie. One is Dr. Forrester spanking himself and saying that he’s been a naughty boy (Naughty! Naughty! Naughty!) and the other is when Cal is struggling to fly the plane when it is glowing green and someone says “Should we be seeing this?” as he wrestles with the steering.

       1 likes

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