A few of you have asked. I’m sorry it’s so late (I usually have this done for Cyber Monday). But it’s done and you can get it now.

To save you the trouble of clicking through it, here’s the text.

A Short 2013:
A calendar in 12 acts.

January
Century 21 Calling
Narrator: This is the automatic dialer. Just listen for dial tone, insert a number card and press the start bar.
Crow: …and RUNNNN!!

February
Once Upon a Honeymoon
Singer: o/` …a color scheme of gold and blue… o/`
Crow: One bed’s for them, the other one’s for little grandma.

March:
A Date with Your Family
Narrator: Pleasant, unemotional conversation helps digestion.
Tom: I can’t stress unemotional enough.

April
Are You Ready for Marriage?
Mr. Hall: That’s what you’ll be saying about your romantic love if these other things cause a breakup.
Tom: BUT WHERE’S THE RUBBER BAND??

May
Cheating
Narrator: Miss Granby’s test was even tougher than you though it would be…
Mike: Stop it! Stop the voice in my head!

June
The Home Economics Story
Narrator: But with new curtains and bedspread it doesn’t take long to give it a homey feeling…
Joel: I’ve got a feeling MOM majored in Home Economics at Iowa State!

July
Body Care and Grooming
Narrator: Thanks a lot for helping us prove a point.
Joel: Now, begone!

August
Assignment Venezuela
Narrator: It’s a great introduction a job in Venezuela, but it’s only for one night.
Mike: One lovely night with Ray.

September
A Case of Spring Fever
Coily: No springs, my friend. No springs.
Tom: We ARE friends, aren’t we, Coily?

October
A Young Man’s Fancy
Mom: I remember your father…seemed as if nothing I did would interest him until…
Judy: Until what, mother?
Crow: Until I got my tattoo.

November
What to Do on a Date
Kay: Oh, hello, Nick! How are you?
Joel (as Nick): I hurt inside!

December
A Day at the Fair
Narrator: They comb and brush the calves coats until they’re smooth and sleek.
Mike: Head’s gone! Stop rubbing!