Movie: (1961) A dour production of Shakespeare’s play produced for German TV. A prince returns home for his father’s funeral and doesn’t like what he finds.

First shown: June 27, 1999
Opening: Tom Servo is now Htom Sirveaux
Intro: Crow has a name change too; Mike interrupts Pearl’s plan with Three Card Monty — which she loses, allowing Mike to pick the movie. He chooses unwisely
Host segment 1: Crow and Tom’s plan to be the ghost of one of Mike’s dead relatives quickly unravels
Host segment 2: Crow and Tom give Mike a preview of their percussion version of “Hamlet”
Host segment 3: Time once again to play “Alas Poor Who?”
End: Crow and Tom show off their Hamlet action figure, with real soliloquy action; in Castle Forrester, a snotty Fortenbras demands his due
Stinger: Claudius does a double take
(419 votes, average: 3.48 out of 5)
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• I’m going to come right out and say that this episode is not nearly as bad as its reputation. Yes, the movie is particularly dour, but Kevin, in his comments on this one, is right: You can’t hurt this thing no matter how hard you try. As happens every time I see this one, I got drawn in to the classic tale, which for me was made all the more fun by the overlay of some pretty solid riffing. The host segments, aren’t bad either. I know plenty of you can’t wait to start trashing this one, but I’m not on board. That said, I don’t have a lot else to say about this one.
• Kevin’s thoughts are here.
• This episode was included in Rhino’s “Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 4.”
• Callback in the opening host segment: “You think you can take me? Go ahead on.” (Final Justice)
• I like segment 1 a lot. It’s fun, fast and it’s over quick. Really liked it even more this time.
• Segment 2, on the other hand, is a pretty good example of the more-clever-than-funny segment. Clearly they wanted to say something about the many many avant garde stagings of “Hamlet,” and they did say something, but I’m not sure it added up to a comedy sketch.
• Yes, that’s an uncredited Ricardo Montalban doing the voice of Claudius and John Banner, of “Crash of the Moons” and “Hogan’s Heroes,” doing the voice of Polonius. Happily, the Brains noticed. They made two John Banner jokes and one Montalban reference.
• Segment 3, feeling very season two-ish, goes on a little long. But it’s a cute idea.
• Kevin is hilarious as Fortinbras in the end bit.
• Cast and crew roundup: Nobody involved in making this movie worked on any other MSTed movie.
• CreditsWatch: Directed by Mike.
• Fave riff: “Hamlet faxed me a sililoquy!” Honorable mention: “Nice play, Shakespeare.”

Movie: (1984) A Texas sheriff winds up on the island of Malta in pursuit of the criminal that killed his partner.

First shown: June 20, 1999
Opening: Tom considers the unexplored implications of the song “Owner of a Lonely Heart”
Intro: M&tB are plagued by Yes orchestra hits; Pearl encourages humor in the workplace
Host segment 1: M&tB demonstrate to Pearl how repeating the same sequence can be annoying
Host segment 2: Crow and Tom encounter cute little Goosio. It doesn’t go well
Host segment 3: Crow’s report on Malta includes a good deal of slander on the subject of Maltese men
End: Having suffered through a really bad Joe Don Baker movie, Mike assumes it’s his turn to escape. He’s wrong, the poor dope. Meanwhile, Funny Dress-Up Day at Castle Forrester takes a horrifying turn
Stinger: “Yew think yew kin take me? Go ‘head on. It’s yer move”
(329 votes, average: 4.29 out of 5)
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• I have to put this one in the fair-to-good column. Unfortunately, there’s no way to avoid a comparison between this ep and the “Mitchell,” episode and unfortunately this one doesn’t measure up to that classic. The riffing definitely has its moments, but they have trouble sustaining a constant level of funny. The movie itself is serviceable and certainly Joe Don’s character is a bit less gross than it was in “Mitchell,” but it’s also a bit less unintentionally zany. In addition, the segments are more miss than hit this time around, but the final segments save the day.
• Mike’s thoughts are here.
• This episode is included in Shout’s Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Vol XIV.
• Callback: “Stop drinking baby oil!”
• The opening features more Yes bashing. My theory: The only way you could be this anti-Yes is by having BEEN a Yes fan at some point and since repented. I’m looking in Kevin’s direction.
• Last time I said I didn’t understand the riff: “Let’s talk loudly about our SUVs.” Commenters explained it to me.
• Segment 1 seems a little picky to me, like they couldn’t find anything else to comment on. The footage reuse is pretty mild compared to similar instances in other movies. All in all, I can’t get behind the premise.
• Segment 2 is a bit better, and it explains why Mike takes the time to pointedly refer to Goosio by name during the riffing–he was setting up this bit.
• Of course that’s Mike as the voice of Goosio; Patrick was doing the rather elaborate “technical puppetry.”
• Mike has the broken Goosio in the theater following the segment
• Obscure reference: Perini Scleroso (a hilarious character invented by SCTV’s Andrea Martin).
• Mike, apparently still channeling Joel after his visit, does a very Joelesque bit in the theater when he stands up and appears to be running from the car in the movie.
• Again, I find it amusing that microbrewery aficionado Mike is seen drinking Bud.
• Also in the theater, Servo twice leaps off his theater seat when somebody says “Geronimo.”
• Segment 3 goes back to the “pointlessly bash a nationality” thing they’ve had some success with in the past, but I don’t think this works as well this time. Also: Mike knows how to rewire Crow?
• Then-still-slightly current reference: “Christian Slater’s gonna fly tomorrow I better get this back to him.” For those who’ve forgotten, Slater stupidly showed up at JFK airport in December 1994 with a gun in his carry-on and was arrested.
• Yet another fun closing credits bit, as Crow and Tom come up with new gluttonous lyrics for the theme music.
• Nice moment at the end of the last theater segment as Mike leaves early and Tom has to figure a way out of the theater by himself. “What do I do??” He runs left as Cambot pulls away. Somehow he manages.
• The final bit, of course, is the best of the episode and brings the entire episode up from fair to good. A lot of nice little touches in a great parody of Joel’s farewell. One small nitpick, though: “…an escape pod SHE hid…”?? Gypsy did not hide the escape pod in the box of hamdingers. I remember immediately after this episode first aired there was a long nerdy Comic Book Guyesque discussion of this goof on most of the web forums.
• As if the ending bit on the SOL wasn’t funny enough, that bit is further topped by the appearance of Bill’s in full leatherboy regalia. Classic.
• Cast and crew roundup: Executive producer Louis George had the same job on “Angels Revenge,” as did producer/director/screenwriter Greydon Clark. In front of the camera, Joe Don Baker, of course, starred in “Mitchell.” Bill McKinney also appeared in “Master Ninja I.”
• CreditsWatch: Directed by Kevin.
• Fave riff: “The last thing a sausage sees.” Honorable mention: “I’m glad we skipped the cavity search.”