Short: (1949) Helpful advice to make you a better public speaker.
Movie: (1966) An escaped convict and his two pals take part in the Bay of Pigs invasion, then return home with a plan to get rich.

First shown: 12/17/94
Opening: Tom pumps out tonight’s lotto numbers
Intro: Frank owes the mob $50 large, but they stomp Dr. F. instead; meanwhile M&tB hit the casino
Host segment 1: Frank exhorts the nearly-dead Dr. F.
Host segment 2: Mike is Carol Channing; Dr. F. gets “hope you die” wishes
Host segment 3: Dr. F. lives, dies and lives again, but the mob says otherwise
End: M&tB sing a happy, upbeat song, Dr. F. is feeling better
Stinger: Blind lady playing piano
5 Stars4 Stars3 Stars2 Stars1 Star (256 votes, average: 4.54 out of 5)

• I maintain that this is easily the worst movie MST3K ever did, and is in the running for worst movie EVER MADE (and, yes, I’ve seen “The Apple”). And for that reason, I LOVE this episode. The badness really drives M&tB at great riffing heights. And that doesn’t even count the wonderful, hilarious short. And host segments are a lot of fun too.
• Rhino released this on DVD as a single
• References.
• That’s a neat trick shooting the balls out of Tom. I love the way Kevin grunts as he sends each one skyward.
• Slightly unusual: many of the segments take place in Deep 13 rather than on the SOL.
• That’s Mary Jo as the increasingly rare Magic Voice.
• Slam on Denny Dillon outta nowhere! Also Amanda Bearse.
• Carradine was in a HUGE number of movies, but keep in mind that many of them are movies like this.
• Segment 1 is lots of fun. The sight of Frank and mummy Dr. F doing the knee test is worth the price of admission.
• Callback: “Petey Plane!” (Skydivers) “This nose wheel feels mushy,” (San Francisco International), the “Starfighters” music, “I’m dyin’ in a rush!” (Kitten with a Whip). Also, Crow’s: “Hey Posture Pals was the definitive last word on posture!” and “The master says you can’t stay here.” (Manos)
• “I’m a dreamer, Montreal” is a line from the Marx Brothers’ “Animal Crackers.”
• I’m pretty sure that’s Trace as the voice of Jimmy Carter on the phone. I think that’s a guest appearance I may have missed previously.
• Mike again displays his unexplained and preternatural ability to just become somebody, in this case Carol Channing.
• Mike does the knee test in the theater. It doesn’t seem to help.
• I was humming the “happy upbeat song” for days after I first saw this.
• Nice Harpo gookie by Frank at the end.
• Cast and crew round up: Also working on “The Hellcats:” producer Anthony Cardoza. In front of the camera: Tom Hanson, Nick Raymond and Frederic Downs. Also working on “The Skydivers:” producer Anthony Cardoza (also actor), director/screenplay writer Coleman Francis (also actor), score composer John Bath. In front of the camera: Frederic Downs. Also working on “The Beast of Yucca Flats:” producer Anthony Cardoza (also actor), director/screenplay writer Coleman Francis (also actor). In front of the camera: John Morrison and George Prince. Coleman also appears briefly as a delivery man in “This Island Earth.” Nick Raymond also appeared in “The Sinister Urge.” Frederic Downs also appeared in “Terror from the Year 5000.” John Carradine also appeared in “The Unearthly.”
• CreditsWatch: Frank gets a new credit this week and for the rest of the season: script consultant. Host segments directed by Trace Beaulieu. The music for the “The Bouncy Upbeat Song” was written by Mike. Frank wrote the lyics.
• Fave riff from the short: “Make sure your part is gouged into your skull.” Honorable mention: “Now you’re ready to rub out Sonny Corleone.”
• Fave riff from the movie: “Ho, guys. Step back and think. Are we all gonna fit in here?” Honorable mention: “Why is Phil Silvers rounding up corpses?

Short: (1954) Industrial film aimed at keeping bread truck drivers on the straight and narrow.
Movie: (1959) A high school dweeb agrees to take part in a heist to win the favor of a hot but dumb classmate.

First shown: 12/10/94
Opening: Mike has a headache, and the bots are no help
Intro: Frank clones a dinosaur, while Crow mixes a potion that makes Tom Servo huge!
Host segment 1: M&tB have a suggestion: “specialty breads”
Host segment 2: Crow and Tom egg Mike, and don’t understand what they did is wrong
Host segment 3: Crow and Tom try to break into Gypsy’s diary
End: Mike reads a letter while the bots reenact the end of the movie, Dr. F. gives the dino something to chew on
Stinger: “A million bucks!”
5 Stars4 Stars3 Stars2 Stars1 Star (221 votes, average: 4.23 out of 5)

• I’d say this one is hit and miss. Admittedly, the short is strange, but it’s a little long and it feels to me like their riffing kind of runs of out of steam toward the end. The movie is just a bit too drab for me, and while the riffing is great in some places, it kind of dies down in others. The host segments are hit-and-miss as well.
• This episode will come out in the spring as part to Shout’s Vol. XXXVIII.
• Suddenly Crow’s arms work, just in time for cymbal practice.
• Mike really does suffer from chronic headaches, as he said in this New York Times piece.
• “Jurassic Park” had been out for more than a year, so a bit about a cloned dinosaur was hardly a brand new idea, but I do like Frank patiently saying “No…no…bad boy…” as Dr. F is devoured.
• Props to Jef Maynard on giant Servo. Movie bad!
• Servo sums up how the short was used with his line right at the end of the short.
• Segment 1 is sort of a state park joke of a segment. Yes, the bread truck driver was kind of a dork. We get it.
• Segment 2 gets off a cute punchline … then keeps on going for some reason.
• Callback: “Might as well have Mitchell for a dad.”
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: Bulletin board, book, beaker.
• That’s Stanley Adams, the poor man’s Jackie Gleason, as they wry safe cracker.
• Segment three is kind of dud, but I do like the obscure reference to the ’60s TV show “T.H.E. Cat” which I absolutely LOVED when I was kid (so of course it was canceled). Oh and props to Jef again for the great blown up bots in this segment.
• Mayhem in the theater: Tom does a “Don’t Pay the Ferryman” joke once too often and Mike hurls him out of the theater.
• That sounds like Kevin as the voice of the dinosaur at the end. Kind of similar to his killer shrew voice.
• Cast and crew round-up: I am not going to do the Roger Corman litany again. Cinematographer: John Nicholaus Jr. also worked on “Attack of the Giant Leeches” and “Night of the Blood Beast.” Editor Carlo Lodato worked on “Attack of the Giant Leeches.” Makeup guy Harry Thomas also worked on “Night of the Blood Beast,” “The Mad Monster;” “Project Moon Base,” “The Unearthly,” “Bride of the Monster,” “Invasion USA” and “Racket Girls.” Set designer John F. Burton also worked on “The Girl in Lovers Lane” and “12 to the Moon.”
In front of the camera: Malcolm Atterbury is also in “I Was A Teenage Werewolf,” Peter Leeds was also in “Girls Town.” Byron Foulger was also in “The Rebel Set.” Bobby Hall was also in “Bloodlust.” Bill Coontz was also in “The Girl in Lovers Lane” and “Bloodlust!”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Jim Mallon. It’s with this episode that Julie Walker stops being called “Info Club Coordinator” and becomes “Info Club Poobah.” Bagpipe music: Peter B. Dysart.
• Fave riff from the short: “Make sure you stock your TRUCK UP, so that you don’t … well, you know…” Honorable mention: “I’m starring in Forever Plaaaaiiiid.”
• Fave riff from the movie: “How’s the German-expressionist date going?” Honorable mention: “I hate it when his face lights up.”