Short: (1956) A explanation of why boys should take shop class even if they think they’ll never need it.
Movie: (1963) Conspiracy and adultery abound at a small skydiving school.

First shown: 8/27/94
Opening: Tom’s planetarium show is disrupted
Intro: M&tB and the Mads compete in a swing choir competition
Host segment 1: Mike’s shop class doesn’t go well
Host segment 2: Crow puts himself in a “double jock lock”
Host segment 3: Tom bombs Crow
End: Crow and Tom struggle in their parachutes, letter, the Mads have switched to dodge ball
Stinger: “I don’t know. I feel real free up there in the high blue sky.”
(269 votes, average: 4.65 out of 5)
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• I love this episode. We now begin our descent into the works of one Coleman Francis. Those wondering how he got the idea he could direct probably need look no further than the extensive list of bit parts he played in Hollywood over three decades. One begins to imagine Coleman, having spent so much time on movie sets, watching actual directors work, that he began to think he could do it himself. How wrong he was. That said, this movie is probably the best of Francis’ oeuvre, which isn’t saying much, but still. You almost get caught up in it. Not quite, but almost. Plus you’ve got a classic short and a series of host segments where poor Crow suffers one hilarious indignity after another. All in all, a winner in my book.
• This episode is featured in Rhino’s “Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Vol. 1.”
• References.
• The Servo in the opening is the one they use in theater (or one like it), just as Timmy the Dark Crow was the Crow they use in the theater. When they paint ’em black they make better silhouettes.
• The swing choir sketch is a classic. I had never heard of “swing choir” growing up. Our choirs were more of the “stand stock still in a robe” variety. But with the advent of “Glee” everybody understands now.
• The achingly funny short was shown at the Museum of TV event in Los Angeles in ’95. I think mentioned in a previous entry that it was really an epiphany for me, since I had never watched MST3K on a big screen with such a large group before. The crowd was just roaring with almost deafening gales of laughter. I’d seldom been in a crowd of people all laughing so hard and loud before. It really was an eye-opener.
• Tom Servo is quite correct about the “I can’t pay you but I can put your name in the credits cast list.” Word is that is exactly what it was.
• Kudos to Jef Maynard for the sawn-in-half Crow. Another great creation.
• My theory on they “why” of this movie is that Coleman guessed that sport skydiving was so novel and exciting to watch, in and of itself, that it would captivate America, and they wouldn’t notice the almost total lack of a plot.
• The ditty “sex for sundries is fun” was an immediate hit among internet MSTies.
• In addition to swing choir, I had never heard of a double jock lock. Apparently none of the bullies in my junior high school had heard of it either, thank goodness!
• I like coffee. It became an immediate catchphrase.
• Callbacks: “He’ll never touch you, Terry.” (Teenage Crimewave) ”Manos!” “No Lupita!” (from Santa Claus). “Why don’t they look?” (Last Clear Chance).
• But beyond all the other internet MSTie sensations that this episode created, far and away the hugest was Petey Plane. For a few days there, it was almost all anybody could talk about in the forums.
• Tom’s dialog in segment 3 (“splash one!”) echoes videos of laser-guided missile strikes that were being shown on TV a lot at the time.
• Jimmy Bryant may have been the only moderately talented person in the entire movie. His stuff is actually kinda good!
• Mike assumes Ike didn’t know this was going on, but since this movie was made in 1963, and he hadn’t been president for years … well, maybe he still might have objected.
• Cast and crew roundup: Cinematographer Austin McKinney was production supervisor on “The Beast of Yucca Flats.” Art director Mike Harrington also worked on “The Incredibly Strange Creatures…” Score composer John Bath also worked on “Red Zone Cuba.” Choreographer Robert Banas was an actor in “Daddy-O. In front of the camera: Titus Moede was in “Incredibly Strange Creatures.” Marcia Knight, Barbara Francis, Alan Francis, Ronald Francis were all in “Beast of Yucca Flats.” Frederic Downs was in “Red Zone Cuba,” “The Hellcats” and “Terror from the Year 5000.” Tony Cardoza produced and appeared in all three Francis films, as well as “The Hellcats.” Eric Tomlin is also in “The Hellcats” and”Beast of Yucca Flats.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Jim Mallon.
• Fave riff from the short: “And not a killer!” Honorable mention: “I can’t get this thing back in my pants, Earl.”
• Fave riff from movie: “This is typical of young directors: too many good ideas — or, in this case, none at all.” Honorable mention: “H.R. Haldemann on drums.”