Short: (1960) Two city kids learn the what their country cousins do on their dairy farm.
Movie: (1959) When their boat has mechanical trouble, a quartet of college kids seek help on an island, where a big game hunter lives.

First shown: 9/3/94
Opening: Tom is Crow’s therapist
Intro: Dr. F. redecorates Deep 13 for his mother’s visit, but she’s more pleased to see Frank
Host segment 1: Crow’s veg’able stand gets creamed
Host segment 2: M&tB try some square dancing
Host segment 3: Crow ruins Mystery Murder Dinner Theater
End: The bots think Mike is hunting them, Mike reads some letters, Dr. F.’s mom and Frank go out on the town
Stinger: Guy gets an arrow in the stomach
(219 votes, average: 4.12 out of 5)
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• The short gets us off to a great start. One of their funniest. But, for me, the movie has so many slow points that it’s hard to stay engaged, even though the riffing is pretty good. Robert Reed’s continual wryness begins to rankle after a while, too. The introduction of Pearl is auspicious, but we wouldn’t see her again for a long time.
• This episode appears in Rhino’s Vol. 1 collection.
• References.
• Several notables in this episode, include the first appearance of Mary Jo as Pearl and the redecoration of Deep 13.
• Gypsy says “bitch” supposedly accidentally. The bots want to say it too and Mike surprisingly is opposed to the idea.
• Crow apparently thought it was important to wear his nice dress slacks to therapy. I wonder what that means…
• In segment 1, Mike excuses himself to go “be” Kenny G — one of the first times Mike just sort of “becomes” somebody. This strange ability will help him in later episodes.
• The mayhem in segment 1 is an extension of the running gag begun in 604, which, as I explained, was lost on a lot of people when episode 604 was removed from the lineup for a while.
• I recall after this episode there was much chatter about the fact that they only made one Brady Bunch riff. Some wanted more, others were pleased with the riffers’ restraint.
• Later-to-be-disgraced, now-deceased TV chef Jeff Smith gets a reference and it won’t be the last.
• In segment 2, I like how they go from square dancing to slam dancing in two seconds. Note: Servo loses his head. Also note: The fiddle music is being supplied by the now-somewhat-famous Maria Bamford.
• Callbacks: “MANOS!” “He didn’t steal no bike neither” (Teenage Strangler)
• In the theater, as the bad guy goes on for a while, Mike gets sleepy and leans on Tom’s shoulder.
• Segment 3 is your basic one-joke segment. (see: “Waffles!”) I like the costumes, though.
• Then-current reference: Crow attempts to explain the surprise in the movie “The Crying Game” — then a popular topic of conversation.
• In one riff, they posit the idea of “Scooby Doo, the motion picture.” What a preposterous idea.
• Cast and crew roundup: Costumer Marge Corso also worked on “Earth Vs. The Spider,” “Teenage Caveman,” “Tormented” and “The She-Creature.” Assistant director Leonard Shapiro also worked on “Project Moon Base” and “The Amazing Transparent Man.” Props guy Richard Rubin also worked on “Attack of the Giant Leeches.” Sound mixer Philip Mitchell also worked on “Teenage Caveman” and “The Unearthly.” Score composer Mischa Terralso worked on “The Unearthly,” “King Dinosaur,” “The Violent Years” and “The Sinister Urge.” In front of the camera, June Kenney was also in “Earth vs. the Spider” and “Viking Women.” Walter Brooke was also in “Space Travelers” and “San Francisco International.” Gene Persson was also in “Earth Vs. the Spider.” Troy Patterson was also in “Earth Vs. the Spider.” Bobby Hall was also in “High School Big Shot.” Bill Coontz was a “High School Big Shot” and “The Girl in Lovers Lane.” Robert Reed also appeared in “SST Death Flight.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Trace Beaulieu. Brad Keely drops off the lighting credit after this episode. Andrea DuCane is back doing hair and makeup for three episodes.
• Fave riff from the short: “All the commotion provokes a bull snake.” Honorable mention: “I remember ringing a bell…”
• Fave riff from the movie: “He shot the bear in mid-standing ovation.” Honorable mention: “No cookies! Not now, not ever, never!”

Movie: (1964) A slow-moving alien rug monster manages somehow to catch and swallow many people in a small town with no dialog.

First shown: 9/17/94
Opening: Tom is a security guard
Intro:It’s laundry day in Deep 13, Dr. F. makes the bots pretentious poseurs
Host segment 1: Crow makes a flag for the SOL, and M&tB raise it
Host segment 2: M&tB stick it to “Love American Style”
Host segment 3: Mike sets up his stereo system
End: Crow and Tom want Gypsy to swallow them, Mike reads letters, Dr. F. “presses” Frank about the laundry
Stinger: “My God! What is it?”
(256 votes, average: 4.68 out of 5)
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• I like this episode a lot. The host segments are lots of fun, the riffing is great and while the movie is gray and tedious, at the same time it is TOTALLY OUT THERE. The questions it raises are endless. What’s chained up in the spaceship? Why does the creature look like a Chinese parade dragon? Why did that guy swallow a basketball? Why a full ten minutes of dance hall footage before the the monster arrives? And on and on.
• This episode appears in Rhino’s Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 1.
• References.
• I love how they added a little drool to Servo’s mouth when they show him sleeping.
• There’s lots of narration and little dialogue, but don’t believe the commonly told story that the soundtrack dropped off of a boat into Lake Tahoe. The movie was shot without sound, with a plan to dub in the dialog later, a la “Manos.” But there wasn’t enough money for that when the time came, so the narration was used instead.
• I’m a little surprised that they chose this movie, and I’m very impressed that they did with it, for this reason: this movie easily ranks in the top 5 of The. Most. REPETITIVE. Movies. Ever. Show some dancing. Show the monster. Then some dancing. Then the monster. Over and over and over. I would rank this right up with “The Starfighters” and “Neptune Men” in terms of a movie that shows you the same thing over and over and over. That they managed to stay funny and come up with a different joke (more or less) every time the movie presented them with the EXACT same image again and again and again, is a real achievement.
• I’m doing these in episode number order, but this was not the next episode fans saw after episode 605- COLOSSUS AND THE HEADHUNTERS. Comedy Central ran episode 609- THE SKY DIVERS the following week, then 607- BLOODLUST the next week, then there was a week break before this episode ran. Then there was another two-week break before the network ran 608- CODE NAME: DIAMOND HEAD followed a week later by 610- THE VIOLENT YEARS. At that point the episodes got back into order.
• This episode aired the same weekend as some 2,000 MSTies from all over the nation were encamped at the Raddison Hotel in Bloomington for the first CONVENTIOCON EXPOFEST-A-RAMA. Unfortunately, the hotel’s TVs did not get Comedy Central, which meant that fans had to find another way to see the episode. I went to the home of a friend who lived in the area.
• This movie has the infamous baby-temperature-taking scene, one of its most commented-upon aspects by bad movie buffs.
• The “Love American Style” bit in segment 2 is sort of meta: a sarcastic premise surrounding a second, intentionally lame, premise. On the plus side, Mike kisses Servo and Crow.
• As Servo notes, it’s a good guess that the director got a pervy little thrill by the image of a woman’s legs (preferably still kicking) being pulled into the monster. I’ve since been told (and I wish I hadn’t) that this is a thing, and the thing is called “Vore.”
• In the ACEG they mentioned that segment 3 was written mostly by Frank, who loves sketches where nothing happens for long stretches. Is Mike’s using a green magic marker on his CD something audiophiles did (or still do?)
• Mike’s line, “another frustrated IBM PC user!” became a widely traded sound file.
• Very neat image with the wringer at the end. Very Joel-like.
• Cast and crew wrap-up: Story and screenplay writer Robert Silliphant also worked on “The Incredibly Strange Creatures…” Special effects guy Clifford Stine also worked on “This Island Earth,” “The Mole People,” “The Deadly Mantis” and “The Thing That Couldn’t Die.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Jim Mallon. Jef Maynard is added to the “set design” credit, along with Joel and Trace. Ken Fournelle gets a lighting credit, or any kind of credit, for the last time. He had been involved with the show since season one. Crist Ballas is back to do hair and makeup.
• Fave riff: “We’re the special unit! Helloooooo!!” Honorable mention: “Now, cough, honey.”