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Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

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Episode guide: 324- Master Ninja II

Movie: (1984 TV episodes; 1991 combined movie) An occidental ninja and his mush-mouthed pal help a feisty union organizer, and then help stop a gang of international terrorists.

First shown: 1/25/92
Opening: J&tB are an improv group
Invention exchange: The Mads have invented a conveyor belt buffet, while J&tB have created a (hopefully) self-perpetuating hamster habitat
Host segment 1: The bots design their own custom vans
Host segment 2: Crow is General Timothy Van Patton
Host segment 3: Tom has a new subroutine that allows him to pair detectives with their appropriate pets
End: Joel shows off the Van Cleef dress-up doll and reads a letter; Frank makes a heartfelt plea for the return of “The Second Hundred Years”
Stinger: Lee! Take it easy with the hamster!
(124 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5)

• And so, season three comes to a close with a middling effort. This one has some stretches with solid riffing, and other stretches that are less strong. It has one of my favorite host segments and some forgettable ones. All in all, it will pass the time, but it’s nothing remarkable.
• This episode is included in Shout! Factory’s “Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Vol XX.”
• In the “improv group” bits, there’s a lot of jargon only professional comedians who have done improv would know (“going to your where,” “you negated me”, “yes, and”). I think a lot of ordinary folks would hear that stuff and go “huh?”
• I’m guessing the hamster-loving hero of the movie led to the idea for Joel’s invention, while the conveyor belt in the canning factory sparked the Mads’ invention.
• I like the way Cambot goes right through the terrarium at movie sign.
• The two episodes in this movie were “State Of The Union” (which originally aired Feb. 3, 1984) and “Hostages” (which aired Feb. 10, 1984).
References.
• Again, Joel makes a special mention of Michael Sloan.
• As they’re digging the grave in the movie, Crow goes completely off the rails with his Cryptkeeper impression. Joel and Tom are ready to kill him.
• Who made those van illustrations?
• “MENDOZAAA!!” is a nice little nod to “The Simpsons.”
• It’s pretty clear the Brains cut the movie for time, and the cuts were so noticeable they felt the need to have the bots mention the edits.
• Callbacks: Several “Hikeebas” and “Charles Moffet: feared not” (Ring of Terror); “Ator! No!” (Cave Dwellers) “Ya got me!” (Catalina Caper), “McCloud” (Pod People).
• Segment 3, where Tom pairs detectives with appropriate pets, is a classic, the kind of sketch that made MST3K so beloved: Clever, well-written and off the wall.
• Tom does a great little song at the end.
• At one point, BBI was talking about doing “Master Ninja 3.” Cooler heads prevailed, I guess.
• Tom yells “FOUCAULT!!!” at the end of the episode–hope the censors didn’t have a fit.
• Cast roundup: Robert Hoy also appears in “Revenge of the Creature” and “The Mole People.”
• CreditsWatch: After almost a whole season of “Host segments directed by Jim Mallon,” for this last episode of the season, Mike directed. Additional contributing writer: Mike Gandolfi; additional special thanks: St. Paul Harley Davidson (not sure why). Trace and Frank are “villians” for the last time. Dr. F’s last name is still spelled “Forrestor.”
• Fave riff: “The wizard’s not in!!” Honorable mention: “It’s great we can joke about now that his hips are crushed.”

Weekend Discussion Thread: MST3K-Inspired Meals

Alert reader Charles suggests:

How about a weekend topic of mst3k sourced meals/banquets. You could start with an appetizer of some of Trumpy’s favorite peanuts. Then a hamburger sammich prepared by the cook in “I Accuse My Parents” within a side of fresh carrots from the Truck Farmer short. Wash it down with some canned Wassail (please check the
freshness date). Finally, perhaps you have a craving for some CARNATION ICE CREAM.

Okay MSTie-foodies, have at it.

(Keep those topic suggestions coming!)

The Latest Annotated Episode…

…is episode 101- THE CRAWLING EYE.

As always, if you have additions or corrections, post them there, not here.

Episode guide: 323- The Castle of Fu-Manchu

Movie: (1969) Evil mastermind Fu Manchu has a new plot to destroy the world, but his arch-nemesis Dr. Nayland Smith is on the case.

First shown: 1/18/92
Opening: J&tB sing “We’re on the Satellite of Love.”
Invention exchange: The bots have developed a useful telephone transducer chip, while all Joel has is the big head (again); The Mads demonstrate the Joe Besser “Stinky” Bomb
Host segment 1: Crow decries “The Miss Saigon Syndrome,” J&tB become distraught, which pleases the Mads
Host segment 2: The Shriner flying carpet sketch collapses into weeping; the Mads are delighted
Host segment 3: The bots are inconsolable, Joel tries to cheer them up with the story of Fu-Manchu, but the pain is too much; the Mads celebrate
End: J&tB are utterly beaten, the Mads toast their victory but then get a little too cocky
Stinger: Monkey pile on the castle guard!
(160 votes, average: 3.69 out of 5)

• I know, I know, this movie is terribly painful. I’m sure there are some among you for whom it is just too painful. But I’m just going to come out and say it: I LOVE this episode! The host segments are uniformly funny and the riffing is top-notch. In a perverse way, this would be an excellent starter episode, since it’s one of the shows that most explicitly deals with the premise of the Mads trying to drive J&tB crazy with bad movies. The movie, no question, is terrible: it’s drab, confusing, clumsy and poorly shot. And I imagine the cuts the Brains made didn’t help matters. But compared to some of the movies we’ll get later, it’s seems like a breeze.
• This episode is included in Shout!Factory’s “Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Vol XXIII.”
• The opening is one of the best ever. My daughter, as a youngster, fell in love with that song and sang it constantly for about two long weeks, especially the “dumpy overlords” line and the part about not wearing our underwear. To a 7-year-old, that’s great satire.
• The song is loosely based on the theme song of a 1960s TV show, “The Funny Company,” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqcU6367yss even stealing the line “Stories! Songs! Toys!” The line at the end, “Warriors of the World–by Marx!” apparently refers to ads for the “Warriors of the World” line of toy soldiers from all historical eras by toy maker Marx.
• Joel’s line “…uh, I’ll be right back” in the invention exchange segment was sampled by some MSTie and it became a very popular–and useful–chat room sound file.
• Local reference: the piano bar at Nye’s.
• When Crow and Tom do their invention exchange, there’s a closeup on Tom’s hand. Sheesh, couldn’t they have repainted it for the closeup? It looks terrible.
• We get the third and last appearance of the Big Head.
• Dr. F. lights the fuse on the Stinky Bomb and the sparks look like they almost put Frank’s eyes out. Yeesh.
• Then-current references: “Filmed in Oakland” (a reference to the massive firestorm that hit the city in 1991); Crow parodies the now-forgotten “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,” and also mentions “Doogie Hauser.”
• Movie comment: The ship sinking footage at the beginning is from 1958’s “A Night to Remember.” And the whole opening section of this movie was spliced in directly from “The Brides of Fu Manchu.” So it’s twice-reused footage. The dam bursting scene is footage taken from “Campbell’s Kingdom. You can even see stars Dirk Bogarde (green checked shirt) and Stanley Baker (red shirt) in the footage.
• VERY naughty riff from Joel: “I didn’t mean to but, uh, the new seat covers…” Tom and Crow are scandalized.
• Crow mentions “The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao.” It would come up again.
• J&tB enter the theater with their Shriner costumes on. Joel removes his, then Crow’s, then turns to remove Tom’s fez, and either can’t do it or thinks better of it.
• Callbacks: “Glen Manning get off that dam!” (Amazing Colossal Man), “I can remember a thousand wonderful hours…” (Rocketship XM), Tom hums the Catalina Caper theme, Hikeeba (Women of the Prehistoric Planet).
• Who drew those “artist’s renderings”?
• In the theater, at different points, both Tom and Joel get irritated at Crow and tell him to shut up or stop. Kinda testy!
• When those cakes of ice float to the surface of the water, Joel makes an odd pantomime that looks a little like he’s picking his nose. I watched it a couple of times, and then it hit me: he’s miming snorting coke.
• Love the slam on Toastmasters (an organization full of very nice people who think they’re witty, but usually aren’t).
• Cast and crew roundup: Producer Harry Alan Towers also produced “Outlaw (of Gor)” and “The Million Eyes of Su-Muru.” Under his pen name Peter Welbeck, he also wrote the screenplays for them.
• CreditsWatch: Kevin’s name appears along with Mike’s under “Additional Music Written and Arranged by.” Maybe he helped on the opening song?
• Favorite riff: “Look at this shot. They should never have let Shatner direct!” Honorable mention: “Feed him to the clam!”

Trace, Frank and Bill on Podcast at DragonCon

Trace, Frank and Bill were guests on the “We Got This” podcast with Hal Lublin and Mark Gagliardi, live at DragonCon. The topic was movie monsters, and other things, including clowns.

Go here and select #29.