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Sampo & Erhardt
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Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.
I saw a new book recently that provides job manuals for jobs without manuals, such as “How to be a wrestler in Mexico City”[!]. “How to be a musician without an instrument in Mozambique,” and so on. How about asking for “job manuals” (or perhaps a list of five instructions) for doing various jobs that appear in MST3K films?
For example, “How to be Batwoman in a Wild World”:
1. Wear a black leotard and a feathery mask that looks nothing like a bat.
2. Surround yourself with go-go girls who will swear unswerving allegiance to you.
3. Play the organ.
4. Show no emotion no matter how dire the situation.
5. Do nothing that in any way resembles actual crime fighting.
Or, alternatively, job applications for jobs that appear in MST3K films, consisting of qualifications and an answer to the classic question asking for your greatest weakness at work.
For example, a job application from Torgo:
Skills:
Carrying luggage.
Watching the place while the master is away.
Creeping out suburban housewives.
Unswerving devotion to mystic authority figures.
Greatest weakness: Tend to overdo the Thigh Master.
Persis Khambata stars in a movie featuring a lame hero on a motorcycle, one year before she went on to star in a movie featuring a lame hero on a motorcycle. Stream or download it here.
Short: (1955) Water skiing thrills in Florida’s Cypress Gardens. Short: (1936) Wildlife bully Ross Allen threatens ecosystems, endangers animals and generally terrorizes the Florida Everglades. Movie: (1958) A rebellious teenage caveboy questions the clan’s rules and yearns to explore the land beyond the river.
First shown: 11/9/91 Opening: It’s dreary rainy day on the SOL and J&tB are bored. Magic Voice has some suggestions for activities Invention exchange: J&tB present their creative ipecacs, the Mads try to unveil their invention, but end up in a brawl Host segment 1: J&tB present “Catching Ross” Host segment 2: The Mads are still fighting Host segment 3: Joel explains to the bots how there were conservatives and risk-takers throughout history End: The bots are dressed as the mutants from the movie, Joel reads a letter, the Mads are patching things up with a cup of kindness Stinger: Watch out for that … tree! (119 votes, average: 4.19 out of 5)
• It’s a rare two-short episode and that’s just one of the delights of this episode. The movie is Corman at his corniest, and it brings out the best in the riffers, and the segments are a lot of fun too. A standout episode.
• This episode is not yet available on DVD.
• My copy is from Turkey Day ’94, with Robert Vaughn appearing in the window of Adam West’s microwave during the introductory bumper.
• J&tB have one of their longest conversations with Magic Voice during the opener.
• The invention exchange has the memorable ipecac bit, followed by the truly classic battle of the Mads.
• As Frank and Dr. F prepare to mix it up, Frank makes use of the classic “Road House” line: “Take the train.”
• What do the two shorts in this ep have in common? They’re both essentially commercials for now-extinct Florida tourist traps. For more about Cypress Gardens, which in 2011 reopened as Legoland, this page has a lot of good info. Ross Allen’s Florida Reptile Institute was in Silver Springs and closed down in the 1970s, as the popularity of Walt Disney World muscled out a lot of other Florida attractions. You can still visit Ross Allen Island, however.
• The riffers did a lot of variations of the line: “Just throw that stuff in back, I kinda live outta my car.” (Does anybody know where that line is from?) In the water skiing scene it’s: “Just throw that stuff in the back. I kinda live off my shoulders.”
• Where I used to live, we knew a couple who actually named Bob and Connie. I made them a special sound file of Crow saying: “Bob and Connie really enjoy life.” They did, too, and as far as I know they still do.
• Now we come to the infamous “Catching Trouble” short – featuring such casually cruel footage that J&tB feel they must immediately take revenge in the following host segment, which became an instant classic. I love Joel’s cry of “We went to camp together! He hates me!”
• Memorable moment: Joel has one bear cub call another bear cub “Greg.” Tom then turns to him and asks, incredulously, “Greg?”
• Wondering what the Helsinki Formula is and why they keep mentioning it? It’s a supposed baldness cure that Robert Vaughn used to pitch. These days Robert pitches law firms (at least in my neck o’ the woods). And while we’re on Robert, I said this on Twitter but I’ll say it here: WHEN oh WHEN will there be the Robert Vaughn guest shot on “NCIS,” alongside David McCallum??? It’s a ratings blockbuster waiting to happen!!
• A character in the movie mentions “the thing that gives death with its touch” and the riff is “Penny Marshall?” Huh?
• Joel seems to be parodying his own season two segments in segment 2. That stack of artist’s renderings has become shorthand for “Joel has a boring idea for a presentation.”
• There’s a moment in the theater when Tom Servo applauds. …um…
• Note the Star Trek fight music playing during second fight scene. Also note the classic Mannix/James Kirk disarm, the cry of “HiKeeba!” and a slam on Beetle Bailey outta nowhere.
• Isn’t it fun when you get a riff for the first time, even after you’ve seen the episode several times? I had one of those this time, when Tom sings o/` “Heeeeerrrrre he iiiiiis, your komodo draaaaagonnnn” o/` which I suddenly realized was a reference to the movie “The Freshman.”
• Segment 3 is not really funny, just kind of thoughtful. But I like when Tom Servo says “Well, they were right about THAT!” Which is true, and kind of negates the point Joel is making.
• For some reason Crow’s net is on the counter during segment 3.
• Vaguely dirty riff: “He invented the quiver.” “So did SHE!”
• Callbacks: “You know right now I could go for a char-broiled hamburger sandwich…” (Jungle Goddess), “Plenty of lip and tongue action,” (the Speech short), “I’m Trumpy!” (Pod People), “Thong, the fish are ready!” (Cave Dwellers), “Chili peppers burn my gut” (Sidehackers), “…a charbroiled hamburger sandwich…” (Jungle Goddess) and “This looks like a job, for MIGHTY JACK!”
• At one point, when actor Ed Nelson appears, Joel recognizes him and points out that he’s there. So? Just a state park joke?
• There’s a Firesign Theatre reference as Tom, as the old survivor, says that something “scared everybody.”
• This makes twice in two episodes they have used the Odd Couple line: “bad meat or good cheese.”
• Behind the scenes: The parrot-like costume is left over from “Night of the Blood Beast,” and was worn, as it was in that movie, by uncredited actor Ross Sturlin. Sturlin also helped make and wore a leech costume in “Attack of the Giant Leeches.” Screenwriter R. Wright Campbell was capable of better: he got an Oscar nomination for his screenplay for 1957’s “Man of a Thousand Faces.” Once again, stock footage from “One Million B.C.” makes an appearance. Exterior water scenes were done at the Arboretum in Arcadia, Calif. Other exterior shots were filmed at Bronson Canyon, of course.
• Cast and crew round up: (Again, I will not repeat connections I’ve mentioned in previous entries) Cinematographer Floyd Crosby was assistant director on “The Screaming Skull.” Assistant director Jack Bohrer was production manager on “Viking Women,” “Attack of the Giant Leeches” and “Night of the Blood Beast.” Production manager Maurice Vaccarino was assistant director on “The Screaming Skull” and “The Phantom Planet.” Sound man Herman Lewis also worked “Viking Women,” “Blood Beast” and “Mitchell.” Sound man Philip Mitchell worked on “Bloodlust!” and “The Unearthly.”
In front of the camera, we already ran into Robert Vaughn in KTMA’s “Hangar 18.” Joseph Hamilton was also in “Giant Leeches.” Barboura Morris was also in “Viking Women.” Ed Nelson was also in “Blood Beast,” “Superdome,” “Swamp Diamonds” and “Riding with Death.” Robert Shayne also appeared in “The Indestructible Man” and “The Rebel Set.”
• CreditsWatch: Faye Burkholder returns for two eps as hair and makeup person. Trace and Frank are still guest “villians” (misspelled) and Dr. F’s last name is still spelled “Forrestor.”
• Fave riff from first short: “They just snap clean away!” Honorable mention: “This has got litigation written all over it.”
• Fave riff from the second short: “Ross tries to towel away the evil, but nothing doing” Honorable mention: “Oh, there just happened to be a camera under the water…”
• Fave riff: “Um, like, do you know any Tull?” Honorable mention: “So, how many toasters did we get?”
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