To save you the trouble of clicking through it, here’s the text.
A Short 2013:
A calendar in 12 acts.
January
Century 21 Calling
Narrator: This is the automatic dialer. Just listen for dial tone, insert a number card and press the start bar.
Crow: …and RUNNNN!!
February
Once Upon a Honeymoon
Singer: o/` …a color scheme of gold and blue… o/`
Crow: One bed’s for them, the other one’s for little grandma.
March:
A Date with Your Family
Narrator: Pleasant, unemotional conversation helps digestion.
Tom: I can’t stress unemotional enough.
April
Are You Ready for Marriage?
Mr. Hall: That’s what you’ll be saying about your romantic love if these other things cause a breakup.
Tom: BUT WHERE’S THE RUBBER BAND??
May
Cheating
Narrator: Miss Granby’s test was even tougher than you though it would be…
Mike: Stop it! Stop the voice in my head!
June
The Home Economics Story
Narrator: But with new curtains and bedspread it doesn’t take long to give it a homey feeling…
Joel: I’ve got a feeling MOM majored in Home Economics at Iowa State!
July
Body Care and Grooming
Narrator: Thanks a lot for helping us prove a point.
Joel: Now, begone!
August
Assignment Venezuela
Narrator: It’s a great introduction a job in Venezuela, but it’s only for one night.
Mike: One lovely night with Ray.
September
A Case of Spring Fever
Coily: No springs, my friend. No springs.
Tom: We ARE friends, aren’t we, Coily?
October
A Young Man’s Fancy
Mom: I remember your father…seemed as if nothing I did would interest him until…
Judy: Until what, mother?
Crow: Until I got my tattoo.
November
What to Do on a Date
Kay: Oh, hello, Nick! How are you?
Joel (as Nick): I hurt inside!
December
A Day at the Fair
Narrator: They comb and brush the calves coats until they’re smooth and sleek.
Mike: Head’s gone! Stop rubbing!