{"id":4449,"date":"2009-11-30T08:30:01","date_gmt":"2009-11-30T13:30:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mst3kinfo.com\/?p=4449"},"modified":"2009-11-30T08:48:43","modified_gmt":"2009-11-30T13:48:43","slug":"its-shameless-commerce-season","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mst3kinfo.com\/?p=4449","title":{"rendered":"Cyber Monday"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yes, it’s that time of year, that time when you may be looking to part with a small portion of your hard-earned samolians. If you are, we have a few humble suggestions on ways you can spend it.<\/p>\n

Before we get into our own offerings, may we recommend the witty and wonderful artwork of one Jean Jackson. Check it out here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Okay, now briefly into PBS pledge drive mode. Reminder: This site is not supported by anybody except our readers. We are not subsidized by mst3k.com, RiffTrax, Shout Factory or anybody else. We’re not in any danger of going away, but we do have ongoing costs, and your support is greatly appreciated.<\/p>\n

With the guilt trip out of the way, here’s what we got:<\/p>\n

At our regular Cafepress.com store<\/a>, there’s the usual assortment of shirts, hats, backpacks, bags, coffee mugs mousepads, and bumper stickers.<\/p>\n

And, as we have done every year for a while now, we have another edition of our “Shorts Calendar<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

And then there is our “MST3K Catchphrases” store<\/a>, where you can get white shirts, black shirts, women’s shirts and hoodies featuring many well-loved catchphrases from the show.<\/p>\n

As a reminder, the Christmas-themed catchphrases are:
\nMerry Christmas…if that’s okay
\nSanta’s tendrils reach far and wide. There is no hiding from the Claus Organization.
\nLet’s have a Patrick Swayze Christmas!
\nAh, Mr. Claus. You have a nasty habit of survival.
\nSanta Claus: Killed in Vietnam
\nWhat’s in the pipe, Santa?
\nSanta’s laughter mocks the poor.
\nI’m here to eat candy canes and kick ass. And I’m all out of candy canes!
\nBig John Call IS Santa Claus.
\nI want Santa’s elves DEAD!I want his house burned to the ground!
\nY’know, elf tastes just like chicken! <\/p>\n

And then there are the regular phrases…
\nRock ‘n’ roll Martian
\nRailing kill!
\nThen I ram my ovipositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest…But I’m not an alien!
\nMRxL!
\nMaster Ninja theme song!
\nJoike
\nI’m a Grimault warrior!
\nJoel vs. Mike flamewar veteran
\nDish of ice cream? Don’t tempt me!
\nYou’re a stupid, smelly little dummy, who will never have any ham
\nNow, when you seek pink, you’re gonna think: We’re doomed!
\nAbzolootly fazinating!
\nYour agonizer, please
\nI’m not going back, Jim!
\nBad touch!
\nIt is balloon!
\nI’m sending you a Banner-gram
\nCan’t we get BEYOND Thunderdome?
\nBrought to you by the Booze Council. Because booze really satifies.
\nBrain has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.
\nBring me a sampo!
\nDoes this bug you? I’m not touching you.
\nBUZZ OFF, KID!!
\nI’m Cherokee Jack!
\nChili peppers burn my gut.
\nAs we left the clam flowage that day…
\nWill there still be a clown in the sky for me?
\nCoffee? I LIKE coffee.
\nTurn your crank to Frank.
\nYou’re weird, which results in creativity.
\nI saw the little creature!
\nWhat’s that girl? Dad’s hurt? Down in Deadrock Canyon?
\nIt’s a Daktari stool!
\nI thought you were Dale!
\nI’m danger to myself and others!
\nAs elusive as Robert Denby.
\nThe dog’s meat, have you seen it?
\nDroppo, you’re the laziest man on Mars!
\nDull surprise!
\nEarth vs. Soup
\nI killed that fat barkeep!
\nThis is where the fish lives.
\nFlag on the moon…how did it get there?
\nAh! Flying elves are back!
\nOh, for fun
\nFocusing my attention on the good and beautiful.
\nGentle pressue.
\nGlenn was fifty feet tall!
\nA small gold man was reading to me from a dirty book.
\nWell! That could’ve gone better.
\nHe’s got a tree! That’s not the Godzilla we know!
\nGo to bed, old man!
\nYeah, here I go! Vroom!
\nHe learned too late that man is a feeling creature
\n“Hello!” “Thank you!”
\nHe tampered in God’s domain…
\nHELPING CHILDREN THROUGH RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT
\nHooray for socks!
\nHOTCHKA!
\nHum didda hee-hee hua-hua …
\nOh, sure, I can see how…HUH?
\nYou do it. I’m bitter.
\nI sing whenever I sing whenever sing…
\nIt’s fun when there are things!
\nI had Jell-O today…
\n“Jiminy,” says Johnny, “if only I could get a ride in one of those.”
\nWhy doesn’t Johnny care?
\nIt’s just a show, you should really just relax!
\nIt is so klandinktu!
\nKnew your father, I did!
\nLeave the Bronx!
\nLemback is staying!
\nIf you’re like me, and I know I am…
\nPlenty of lip and tongue action.
\nTo love like the hu-man…
\nOnly love pads the film.
\nNo, no, you got it all wrong: Love should be musty and hurtful.
\nDo you realize a robot just sang a love song to a turtle?
\nLove wears a mask…a tight leather mask.
\nBy this time, my lungs were aching for air.
\nNo, Lupita!
\nMars, extending us a welcome!
\ntHe MaStEr WoUlDn’T aPpRoVe!
\nChief? McCloud!
\nWhoooo iiiiiiss Merritt Stoooooone??
\nMom… ‘m I nuts?
\nWe can’t have nice things.
\nAnd he didn’t steal no bike, neither!
\nNo dancing. Not allowed.
\nThere WAS no monster!
\nThis is no place for convertible!
\nNormal view, normal view, NORMAL VIEEEEEEW!
\nThat nosewheel feels mushy!
\nHe’s not Merritt Stone!
\nI call no way!
\nThat’s one unstable octopus.
\nSam, my patent papers are at a slight angle!
\nI sure hope he said peanuts!
\nPotatoes are what we eat!
\nI wish I had that pretty mind back!
\nPuma? Puma!
\nOn life-long quest like Sinbad. Shot myself out airlock. Never returning. Ham in fridge. -Crow
\nRex Dart, eskimo spy!
\nExtreme rice!
\nThe right people will get it.
\nRock climbing, Joel.
\nSaaaaaandstorrrrrrm!
\nSargassum! Weed of deceit!
\nWhat about scarecrow’s brain?
\nShakin’ the bushes, boss.
\nShine your love!
\nOh, I hate to shoot a butt like that!
\nShtemlo!
\nShut up, Iris! I tell ya, shut up!
\nSLEEEEEEP!
\nDern smoochers on my property!
\nWell! There it is. Spankings all around, then!
\nNo springs!
\nSTAAAAAAAY!
\nStay pink, soft and oily!
\nBite me, I’m a toaster strudel!
\nYou’re stuck here!
\nThank you, won’t you?
\nThat square bugs me! He really bugs me!
\n…the hell?
\nBeen hittin’ the Thighmaster, Torgo?
\nWhaddaya think, sirs?
\nThis seemplifies everything.
\nTickle Me Carlo Lombardi doesn’t like to be disappointed!
\nTime for go to bed!
\nThe high court may well sentence you to TORCHA!
\nEverything you touch you destroy.
\nWorship the truck farmer where you work or bank.
\nTrumpy! You can do stupid things!
\nTurn down your lights (where applicable)
\nToday is dedicated to Uranus.
\nWatch out for snakes!
\nWeird. Yeah, I guess that is the word for it.
\nWhat sin could a man commit in a single lifetime?
\nI wanna decide who lives and who dies.
\nWhy don’t they look?
\nIt’s yer move. Go ahead on.
\nYour weapons are useless against me!<\/p>\n

One last offer: If there is a MST3K catchphrase you REALLY want on a shirt, and it’s not on this list (and it’s not one of the phrases that appears on MST3K.com official products<\/a>, send me an email at msampo at aol dot com and I MAY put it up on the cafepress site for purchase in a day or two (I will email you back and let you know when it is there). I do NOT promise to put every suggestion up, but I will try to honor every reasonable request.<\/p>\n

Happy shopping!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yes, it’s that time of year, that time when you may be looking to part with a small portion of your hard-earned samolians. If you are, we have a few humble suggestions on ways you can spend it.<\/p>\n

Before we get into our own offerings, may we recommend the witty and wonderful artwork […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[19,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4449","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-shameless-capitalism","category-site-news","odd"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mst3kinfo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4449","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mst3kinfo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mst3kinfo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mst3kinfo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mst3kinfo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4449"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.mst3kinfo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4449\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mst3kinfo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4449"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mst3kinfo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4449"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mst3kinfo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4449"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}