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Sampo & Erhardt

Sci-Fi Archives

Visit our archives of the MST3K pages previously hosted by the Sci-Fi Channel's SCIFI.COM.

Goodbye Sci-Fi

Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett reflect on MST3K's final broadcast.

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Episode guide: 511- Gunslinger

Movie: The widow of a murdered sheriff attempts to clean up the crime in her small town with help from the man hired to kill her.

First shown: 10/9/93
Opening: Tom goes “Ka-Boom!”
Invention exchange: The Mads show off the scanner planner, J&tB demonstrate new whiffle items
Host segment 1: J&tB imagine their funerals
Host segment 2: The Gypsy Express
Host segment 3: Tom demonstrates quantum linear super-positioning
End: The ’70s: A pretty foul decade, Joel reads a deep-fried letter, Dr. F. scans Frank!
Stinger: “What about our clothes?”
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (140 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5)


• Well, here we go, the penultimate episode, the last regular episode before big changes occur. I generally like this one. Corman always brings out the best in them, and while it isn’t a slam dunk, it’s pretty consistently entertaining. Good not great.
• This episode is on Rhino’s Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection, Vol. 6.
• Did Gypsy mean to throw the dice onto the floor behind the desk or was that a goof?
• Jim blows a line in the opening bit. They keep going.
• The opening bit is downright hilarious, a brilliant melding of attitude and great prop building.
• I love how Frank does the classic Harpo Marx “gookie” when being “scanned.”
• Dr. F. says this is their first western. Doesn’t “The Painted Hills” count?
• Callback: “I’m a Grimault warrior!” (Viking Women)
• Segment 1 is great. It’s kind of a funeral for the Joel years (at least it feels that way to me) and it’s got great writing. However, is it my imagination or is everybody a little short with each other in this sketch? I may be imagining things.
• Segment two: meh. It goes on a little too long. Oh and: peanut butter and Dijonnaise?? Ew!
• This one has one of the season’s funniest running gags: the riffs about the doors that open the wrong way. They just get funnier.
• Joel seems to lose patience with the movie about two thirds the way through. “Man, this movie is just sitting on my head and crushing it.”
• I forgot this episode has a “I thought you were Dale”!
• Crow wasn’t far off when he said Corman did “Swamp Diamonds” on Tuesday and this on Friday. The movie actually had a seven-day shooting schedule. Among the problems on the set: John Ireland and Beverly Garland were attacked by red ants during their romantic tree-sitting scene, Beverly twisted her ankle and it became so swollen that her boot had to be cut off, and Allison Hayes broke her arm falling off a horse.
• Segment 3 is one of the best of season 5, witty and intelligent, but not too talky.
• We are entering the “Honey” period of this show—the epoch when everyone was calling each other “honey” constantly. There are at least four instances in this ep.
• I imagine they had a ton of letters to Joel laying around, that they wouldn’t be able to use any more. Deep frying them seems like a nice bit of closure.
• Cast and crew roundup: Okay, it’s a Corman, and he loved to use the same people, so strap in. In addition to Roger, screenwriter Charles B. Griffith also worked on “It Conquered the World” and “The Undead.” Screenwriter Mark Hanna also worked on “The Undead,” “The Amazing Colossal Man and “Terror from the Year 5000.” Cinematographer Frederick West also worked on “It Conquered the World,” “Swamp Diamonds and “The She-Creature.” Editor Charles Gross also worked on “It Conquered the World.” Assistant director Harry Reif was a production designer for “Women of the Prehistoric Planet,” and a set designer for “The She-Creature,” “I Accuse My Parents” and “Radar Secret Service.” Score composer Ronald Stein also worked on “It Conquered the World,” “The Undead,” “The She-Creature, “Attack of the the Eye Creatures” and “The Girl in Lovers Lane.” Choreographer Chris Miller also worked on “The Undead.
In front of the camera, Beverly Garland is also in “It Conquered the World” and “Swamp Diamonds.” Allison Hayes was also in “The Undead,” “The Crawling Hand” and “The Unearthly.” Jonathan Haze was also in “It Conquered the World,” “Teenage Caveman,” “Viking Women and the Sea Serpent,” and “Swamp Diamonds.” Bruno VeSota was also in “Attack of the Giant Leeches,” “The Undead,” “Daddy-O” and “The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman.” William Schallert was also in “Invasion USA” and “Hangar 18.” Dick Miller was also in “It Conquered the World” and “The Undead. Chris Miller was also in “The Undead.” Aaron Saxon was also in “The Undead.” Paul McGuire was also in “Radar Men from the Moon.”
• CreditsWatch: Host segments directed by Joel Hodgson, his last one. Additional writer: Timothy Scott.
• Fave riff: “Oh, rut like crazed weasel. You?” Honorable mentions: “Most people are morally ambiguous, which explains our random dyin’ patterns” and “Come out!”

93 Replies to “Episode guide: 511- Gunslinger”

  1. jason says:

    I thuink this is a great episode. i really enjoyed them making fun of the fact there is about 10 people in this town. I always wonder why the allison hayes character had to kill everyone just because the railroad didn’t go through the town? Actually john ireland was nomianted for a supporting actor award in 1949 for all the king’s men.


  2. Ralph C. says:

    I like this episode, too. Hard to go wrong with Corman. Two things to respond to:

    1. Yeah, that dice rolling was a goof.
    2. Yes, you are imagining things, honey– but we won’t hold it against you. :-)


  3. crow dixieland jazz schmo says:

    And who can forget the floor show in that 10 x 20 saloon? What, did they fit four tables in that place? So, the Red Dog is open 24 hours, eh? WHY? There’s, like, 15 people in town. Yeah, a real booming business, that.

    I liked all the host segments in this ep. I’ll have to watch it again to think up some favorite lines.

    Back in about two hours.


  4. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    I really liked Wormy in this one. He shows up in tons of Corman’s films, and it’s always good to see him. Which leads to my fave riff:
    “Little man, mah man!”

    Of course, the opening scene with Joel shouting “Cue the horses!” Gets me every time. They’re just sittin’ there! :smile:


  5. Omega says:

    Once again they decide to mess with the bots. I loved how after Tom’s balloon pops, Joel casually puts his regular head on in the theater.


  6. MDH1980 says:

    I’ve read comments it the past about the “noticeable” tension among the cast in funeral skit, but I just don’t see it.


  7. Danni says:

    Not that I’m a great judge of human behavior (or ‘bot behavior for that matter) but I don’t see it, either.


  8. The Bolem says:

    Yeah, tension? The bots seem really enthusiastic about their envisioned funerals while Joel looks a lot more bored than usual, but other than that…

    Last time I watched this with a friend, I couldn’t contain my laughter at the end, knowing “–OH MY GOD! AUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!” was coming up.


  9. Invader Pet says:

    The funeral segment is interesting only to hear Joel talk about how “everybody dies”, and how he has a soul. It’s total foreshadowing on how Joel is leaving soon.

    Also, during Segment 1, you can see Servo’s control rod in the bottom of the casket.

    “Whoo, that was a turd, wasn’t it?”


  10. Nick says:

    Oh yeah, this was the “regular” Joel episode. The movie’s pretty good; best part of the movie was, as Tom said, Bev in jack boots. RReeooww! :lol:

    And I personally love the Gypsy Express segment. I really don’t know why, but I’m partial to it.


  11. crow whiffle schmo says:

    Marshal? Marshall? Hmm.

    I don’t see the tension in the funeral scene, either. I think it’s just them playing their roles, like Joel is trying to get them to understand something, and they, being robots, aren’t taking it too seriously. I don’t think it’s the real actors having tension between them. Character Joel is just frustrated with Crow and Servo.

    My favorite line is when Caine says, “The good die first.” And Servo says, “Most people are morally ambiguous, which explains our random dying patterns.”

    I also like Joel’s line to the Mads during the invention exchange – “Don’t you realize that when you kill each other, you’re only hurting yourselves?”

    They put those titles up on the screen in the movie telling you when all this takes place. I can see their breath when they talk. Must’ve been the coldest June in the O-l-l-d West.

    Some other lines I like:

    When Rose shoots at her husband’s killers and they get away, she goes back in the Marshall’s (two l’s) office and Joel says, “How do I explain this to…oh, that’s right.”

    Servo: “What was that thing, there?”
    Crow: “Whatever it was, it wasn’t invented yet.”

    Servo: “Bye, everybody.”
    Crow: “We’re all dead.”

    Joel: “Well, it’s back to the fellowship hall for bars and punch.”

    Caine says he’s been looking for Polk since 1865, and Joel says,”A hundred YEARS?”

    Joel: “Boy, he’s a fortunate lawman, he just walks right into crime.” (About the deputy).

    When Rose says to Caine that some criminal is hiding out in Nine Mile Canyon:
    Crow: “How long is that canyon?”

    When Caine and Rose are shooting at each other:
    Joel: “I think we should date other people.”

    And Rose gets in a nice dig at Erica. Erica says she should get out of those pants and find a man, and Rose says she’s wearing those pants because she LOST a man – “A better man than ever slipped YOU a dollar.” Ouch. Zing.

    Does anyone know what Joel says after he says, “Boy, that American Hotel sure puts on a good buffet.” He says something under his breath, I think, or is he just making a random noise?

    I too liked the jokes about the door opening the wrong way – “What’s all your stuff doing in the hallway?” “Come in – or – out.”

    They make a Red Dwarf reference in this ep.

    That saddle or whatever it is on the doorway – “Oh, it’s a chocolate gorilla foot.” “Now it’s a hat made out of an udder.”

    I notice at the slain Marshall’s funeral when Rose hands the deputy the gun she just shot that guy with, Crow makes a motion like he’s putting the gun in his mouth. Never noticed that before.


  12. GizmonicTemp says:

    You know, I NEVER though of the juxtaposition of this show until now and the funeral sketch makes SOOOOO much sense! Spooky.

    “Painted Hills” was more of a drama than western in my book. “Gunslinger” was good, old-fashioned guns and horses and killing and stagecoach robberies and burning barns and Indians and shootouts and… what was I talking about?

    My full review is here.


  13. H says:

    Pretty good. It always makes me a little sad to think about this episode because I know Joel is leaving soon. Movie is decent, not top of the list but still pretty good. Host segments are nice. I especially like the scanner planner. The whole concept just cracks me up every time.


  14. Kenneth Morgan says:

    Mark me down as yet another viewer who doesn’t see any unusual tension in the funeral sketch. But what made them put in the theme to “Family Affair”?

    And, yet another Sally Struthers callback: “Do you want to make people’s heads explode? Sure, we all do!”


  15. Invader Pet says:

    BTW, anyone realize who the actor is that plays Beverly’s murdered husband? It’s William Schalert from the Patty Duke Show.


  16. Omega says:

    I see to recall a reference to Red Dwarf in Operation Double 007 too. But where was the reference in this film?


  17. Ned R. says:

    Dunno if it’s ever been mentioned, but compare the Red Dog in this movie with the Gabriel’s Horn inn in The Undead from season 8 (“STAAAAAAY!”) — both Corman produced, both with Bruno VeSota and Allison Hayes, and both using that same damn set!


  18. fireballil says:

    Ned – They do look alike. Maybe Rog thought that he could get away with it since it looks like they shot it from different camera angles and of course, The Undead (STAAAAYYYY!!!!) was in black and white and Gunslinger was in color.


  19. Ned R. says:

    It’s the staircase that gives it away for me. (Especially since people actually use it — you figure Corman had that made once and made sure to reuse it as often as he could!)


  20. Vornoff says:

    Omega #17, it’s not that good of a reference.
    Erica asks, “May I go to the Red Dog (saloon) now?”
    Rose answers, “You may go to the Red Devil for all I care.” (Another good zing! btw)
    Joel riffs, “to watch Red Dwarf with Red Buttons.”

    This is one of my favorite eps, if only for the reason that I was smart enough not to tape over it and have watched my tape dozens of times. Since I taped it as a re-run I was pretty much oblivious to the fact that it portended The Change, and I, like others, never read the Funeral Sketch as more than usually curt. I would say that part of the reason it might read that way is Cambot’s unusually tight panning back and forth between the characters as they give their lines.

    Seems to me Joel referred to the bots as “Honey” quite frequently in Season 4, but I can’t think of a good example now.


  21. jjb3k says:

    Favorite riff, after a thug throws Jonathan Haze over the countertop:

    JOEL: You know, he shoulda slid him across the bar.
    SERVO: They hadn’t invented that yet.

    Westerns always seem to bring out a lot of “That hadn’t been invented yet” riffs – another one of my favorites is “What’s a sideline, sir?” from “Last of the Wild Horses”.


  22. underwoc says:

    For some reason, I always giggle at the “whiffle possibilities.” Esp. the whiffle drinking glass – “We-ah haven’t worked out all the kinks, just yet.”

    I also love when Weenie man is giving Caine the evil eye, and Tom says, “I don’t like you,” in a Droopy Dog voice.

    #18 -20: I’ll wager Corman didn’t actually build that set. It’s probably just some low-cost rental lot owned by one of his sleazy Hollywood friends.


  23. pumafan says:

    Whenever I see those hideous Crocs I wonder how prescient J&TB were — they’re wiffle shoes!


  24. TV's crowschmo says:

    #16 – The Brains realized it was William Schalert. One of them, I forget who now, says in Beverly’s character’s voice (before hubby gets shot): “Any problems with Patty?”


  25. jcbjr says:

    I like this line: “Let me get this straight.” (Crow): “Youre a man playing a woman playing a man!” And the invention exchange the scanner planner when Dr. F. is scanning Frank, you hear that noise that Brain Guy activates his brain.


  26. I’m not a medium, I’m a petite says says:

    Excellent episode. Very strong. Good choice of film and they work all the angles.

    My only thought about the Funeral Sketch is that the Beach funeral sounds like a really nice idea.

    #11: I think you hit all my high points.


  27. bartcow says:

    I’m sure I’ve mentioned this elsewhere (pretty much to anyone who’ll listen), but Alison Hayes was Hot!


  28. MST3Kelly says:

    a great episode. I love when they break into a 2001 monolith chorus moaning during the oddly lit two-scene between Beverly Garland and John Ireland. I like when they do that in general.
    Beverly Garland is quite pretty. and is it me, or does John Ireland seem stewed throughout this picture?
    interesting- this movie isn’t listed on his wikipedia page.


  29. daltysmilth says:

    My favorite line, when Servo says in response to Joel’s description of his dignified funeral: “Oh dignity-schmignity, Joel. I want elephants!”


  30. Cubby says:

    One of the season’s funniest running gags; the riffs about the doors that open the wrong way. They just get funnier.

    These, and the “false fronts” riffs are what make this episode for me. That, and when they start having characters refer to Jonathan Haze not as “Little Man” but simply, “Little.” And then Crow’s wincing, “Ooh, right in the little man!”

    Joel, seeing the end approaching, seems to be a bit impatient with the movie. “Man, this movie is just sitting on my head and crushing it.”

    A fond, fandom memory: A large group of us, gathered in a hotel suite watching “Mesa of Lost Women.” The darkness of the movie sets seemed to swallow us, and by the end, one groaned, “I feel like that movie has been sitting on my head!” Not to quibble, but I think “Mesa” is much more of a head-sitter.


  31. lpydmblb says:

    One admirable thing about the film: the Civil War backstory is essentially accurate. The battles of Fort Donelson and Missionary Ridge took place as the mayor and John Ireland’s character describe them. Very odd considering Hollywood’s usual standards for such things.

    As for the riffing, the “random death patterns” was my favorite, along with Tom’s segue from a scream of horror to “that was a turd.”


  32. RCFagnan says:

    Well, my favorite points (Scanner planner, “random dying patterns” and the false front/quantam linear superpositioning sketch) have all been mentioned, but I would like to mention that the ‘Gypsy Express” sketch wasn’t really funny, it just seemed really drawn out and tedious. Was it just one of those “Time Filler” sketches (ala “It Conquered The World’s” endless reiterations of Peter Graves’ speech)? “Oh, sure, I’ll deliver your plans for the telegraph, no problem!”


  33. crowschmo says:

    It was the point of the sketch, really, to go on for a long time (like Mike listening to that endless song on his stereo equipment, the way it went on endlessly – then REPLAYED in Creeping Terror). The point was, Joel was standing right there and Servo could’ve just told him what he wanted for lunch. Also, emphasizing the fact that the actual Pony Express, compared to today’s mail, must’ve taken an excruciatingly long time. Not that they’d notice back then.


  34. Rotten as British Teeth says:

    This was a moderately good effort to me. Upon first viewing, it didn’t impress me much. But with every viewing more jokes work, and its been slowly working up my list of MST episodes worth further considering.

    The presence of both Beverly Garland AND Alison Hayes certainly doesn’t hurt!

    Maybe it’s me and I don’t pick up on suddle details very well, but I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary during the casket sketch. Seems to be the usual back-and-forth verbal spats Joel & the ‘Bots had from time to time. I’m sure Joel was anxious to move on by this point personally, but to me that side of him never showed on-screen.


  35. Spector says:

    Nothing like a Corman film to get these guys back into their groove again! After stumbling with the last three episodes (Operation Double, 007,Girl in Lover’s Lane,Painted Hills)they regain their footing here with a strong showing.

    From the opening sequence where you see the killer horsemen awaiting their cue beside the building, to the really dumb deputy, to “Wormy”, to the ridiculous gunfight at the end, this one had me laughing out loud all the way through. As Sampo suggests, Corman always seems to bring out the best in them. Great episode.


  36. Loran Alan Davis says:

    R.I.P Allison Hayes and Beverly Garland.


  37. RockyJones says:

    Another movie that took a few viewings to grow on me. (I’ve always thought that constantly showing the day and date were SO superfluous and absurd!) The host segments definitely outshine the movie.

    Favorite moment has to be at the end of host segment 3…

    Joel: “We’ll be right back.”
    Servo: “No…THEY’LL be right back…WE’LL be right here.”
    Joel: “Honey…don’t….”

    It’s that tone of voice Joel uses on the last line that always cracks me up.

    My other fave, during segment 1…

    Crow: “I’ll lie in state for several days at the Corn Palace while a choir of castrati sing ‘Hooked On A Feeling’!”

    It conjurs up such a thoroughly surreal image………Pure Crow!


  38. Dan in WI says:

    It was a lackluster opening and invention exchange but there are two outstanding quotes:
    Clayton “Do you want to make people’s heads explode? Sure we call do.”
    Crow “Swiss cheese: nature’s own whiffle.”

    A lot of people seem to read things into the funeral host segment. Personally I don’t see it and I’m the type who is big on symbolism. But the banter is just too loose to be about Joel’s impending departure.

    I enjoyed the Gypsy Express segment. It was well written. Joel and Tom interact well on the ______ and ________ sandwich bit and Joel’s decision to write back was great. I also love the puppetry of Crow riding Gypsy.

    The quantum linear super-position host segment reminded me a lot of a season two or three segment but with a role reversal twist. This is the type of segment where Joel would do the teaching in the past. Now Tom takes over the role of professor.

    And so goes the final regular Joel episode. After this nothing will be the same again. Of course that isn’t all bad.

    Favorite Riffs:
    Joel “Whoa it’s like a lady’s Roadhouse.”

    Rose walks out and shoots an apparent horse thief. Crow “Well I’m pretty sure he was a bad guy”

    The dancing girls are performing. Crow “Say what you want reverend. This brings in the parishioners.”

    Tom “What is that thing?” Crow “Whatever it is it wasn’t invented yet.”

    Rose is on a different horse. Crow “Hey she got her horse reupholstered”

    Rose and Kane are shooting at each other. Crow “You know back in those days when you had relationship problems you really had relationship problems.”


  39. Fred Burroughs says:

    Count me as another “Random Dying Patterns” fan, the type of quip that sets this apart from any other show.
    2nd fave riff: “Ooh! Gut-shot the school-marm. ‘Sorry…’ ”

    This is a great western to tackle, hastily assembled as it is from cheap western sets, props, plot points and cliches. (False fronts…doors opening whichever way…Railroad’s comin’ to town…hired gun…civil war veterans.) Corman goes way overboard in the nonchalance towards killing, though. Widow Rose shoots a bystander at the funeral, and everyone takes it in stride. Monday through thursday, Rose and Josh shooting random riders and pedestrians in town, who are all presumed criminals. Rose later sprays bullets through the bushes at Kane Miro, casually apologizing, “i could’ve killed you,” does she shoot at every unidentified person she runs across in the woods? She lets the floozies go with a stern warning after their attempted murder; she lets Kane go after he gunned down LittleMan (would it be so hard just to arrest him?) After the rest of townsfolk are exterminated in the final act, then Kane and Rose shoot it out in the woods. They make a point of Rose ducking around and tricking Kane to expose himself, but there is no sense of where either of them are, or using cover to hide or aim, it makes no sense. actually, most westerns do that too, but that’s just my pet peeve. I guess it was’nt a carefully-made film.


  40. Sitting Duck says:

    While Pony Express delivery times were slow by modern standards, they most certainly did not take a period of months, being more in the range of 7-10 days.


  41. Tom Carberry says:

    Anyone who loves B-movies of the 1950s appreciates the lovely actress Allison Hayes. She was born Mary Jane Hayes on March 6, 1930 in Charleston, West Virginia. The raven-haired beauty was the 1949 Washington, D.C. entry into the Miss America pageant. Shortly afterwards, Mary Jane adopted the familiar first name of Allison. She got her start on local Washington television before heading to Hollywood in the early 1950s. Allison began her career with Universal Pictures; the studio groomed her, but only on the path of B-movies. In her film debut, Francis Joins the WACS (1954), she was a supporting actress to the speaking mule, which had the title role. She played the devilishly alluring “Livia” in The Undead (1957), and co-starred with B-movie legend Tor Johnson in The Unearthly (1957). Roger Corman remembered the movie and Allison in his book, “How I made a hundred movies in Hollywood and Never Lost a Dime”, page 35. Gunslinger was made around February 1956 in seven days. It rained five of the seven days. Trucks, heavy cameras and lights sank in the knee-high mud. The shoot was rough on everyone. Allison Hayes, a very witty, humorous actress, came up with the best line of all. “Tell me, Roger,” she said, soaking wet and cold, “who do I have to f**k to get off this picture?” Allison actually found another way out. Her horse slipped in the mud and she fell off and broke her arm.

    Favorite lines:

    The Pony Express—when it absolutely, positively has to be there in three or four months or so.
    “Shut up Little Man.” You’ve got mending to do.
    That’s a line Miss Kitty and Matthew never crossed.
    “When you were in Tombstone did you…” Eat much pizza.
    [Cain kisses Rose] “I know all about that.” We had a class in 5th grade.
    Look there’s a switch, someone shooting a postal worker.
    Power-assisted, anti-lock hooves.

    Final Thought: To quote Tom Servo, “Boy, that was a turd, wasn’t it!” I give this one 3 out of 5 stars.


  42. lancecorbain says:

    Another of my favorite riffs comes in this one, when Ireland’s drunk in the street and Bev goes out to tell him to go sleep it off, and the other-worldly light is shining right on Bev (I guess it’s supposed to be moonlight?), and Servo does that messed up “eeeeeeeEEeeeeeEEEeeeee” choir piece from 2001: A Space Odyssey that would play when sunlight would strike the monolith. I know this isn’t the only time they did this gag, but this was the time that made me laugh the hardest. I think it’s because Tom keeps starting and stopping as the camera switches between John and Bev. One of my favorite episodes.


  43. Cheapskate Crow says:

    Loved the “Most people are morally ambiguous, which explains our random dying patterns.” quote and host segment 3 like most others. I rate this episode at 5 stars, it keeps me laughing the whole way through, Corman episodes are always great for me. Westerns, sci-fi, fantasy, whatever, Corman knew how to serve them up for MST to knock down. I also don’t believe there was any weird tension in the funeral sketch. Alas next week we move on to one of the saddest moments in TV history.


  44. sol-survivor says:

    The first time I saw this I actually DID have a beef roast in the oven. It was delicious.

    I like all the Corman episodes, and I wish they had done more. There’s just an earnestness about them that works for me.

    I’m another who never noticed any extra tension during the casket sketch. I just thought it was a little morbid given the subject manner, but I liked it. Considering the number of people killed during the movie it seems to fit.

    “She’s the first woman with her own eyebrows.”


  45. snowdog says:

    This is one of those instances where I start squirming in my seat looking forward to the next host segment. I agree with both Joel’s and Tom’s assessments of the movie. It drags the riffing down to “Good, not great” status. But there were some winners mixed in.

    “You know…BEEF roast? In the OVEN?”

    “That’s a Pinto, right?”

    3 stars.


  46. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    >>>Joel, seeing the end approaching, seems to be a bit impatient with the movie. “Man, this movie is just sitting on my head and crushing it.”

    Which reminds me of how it bugs me when they go incredibly overboard about how bad a movie is (The Castle of Fu Manchu being the most mind-numbingly obvious example). I mean, come on, regardless of the badness level, it’s not as if the MOVIE forced BEST BRAINS to write a riff/segment script around it!

    A line like the one quoted is IMHO pretty harmless, as is one of my favorite lines from Red Zone Cuba (“I see the movie has finally thrown up its hands and said I Just Don’t Know!”), but IMHO carrying it over into more than one host segment is rarely if ever really called for. I’m just sayin’.


  47. touches no one's life, then leaves says:

    IMHO the movie’s expectation of the audience finding Cain to be a more or less sympathetic character is undercut by him being a Civil War veteran who’s still angry that the Confederacy was destroyed. I mean, okay, a grudge against the mayor for getting Cain’s fellow soldiers killed due to cowardice or incompetence or whatever, fine, but don’t expect us to feel bad about how the mayor’s screwup helped the United States of America WIN a war. IMHO that halfway makes him a HERO, sort of, maybe, kind of, I guess. (I say this as someone who was born in and who lives in the South)

    Anyone else just the slightest bit nonplused that Rose is supposed to be so much younger than Cain that she only read IN SCHOOL about a battle he LIVED through? It doesn’t quite come across.


  48. jjb3k says:

    “There’s a beef roast in the…ughh…

    As far as Corman movies on MST3K go, this is probably my favorite, if for no other reason than Beverly Garland actually lives through this one. Yay! :D Also, the riffing is pretty solid throughout. Not a gut-buster, but it’s still pleasantly entertaining.

    “Cue the horses!” I love the guys picking out all the low-budget Corman touches. Wormy comes into the room too early and ducks out again, and Joel adds “Whoops! Sorry…” – an obvious riff, but I love the way he says it.

    Are those dancers supposed to be titillating? They’re so poorly choreographed and horribly out of step that it’s hard to be turned on. “Hey, get off my ravioli!”

    “You know, he shoulda slid him across the bar.”
    “They hadn’t invented that yet.”

    The coffin sketch is rather foreboding, isn’t it? I seem to recall several fans latching onto Crow’s “Oh, and if everybody jumped off a cliff, you’d do that too?” as some sort of shot at Joel for wanting to leave the show. I don’t buy it. It’s just the Brains being goofy.

    It’s set in the middle of June, yet everyone’s breath rises in clouds before them. Oh, Corman, you nut! :D

    There’s a moment where Beverly Garland says something a mile-a-minute the way only she could, and Crow quickly imitates her indecipherable jabbering, and it always makes me laugh. Looking at the ConventioCon footage from the Scrapbook tape, turns out Bev always spoke that fast, even later in life. :)

    “Hey look, it’s a chocolate gorilla foot.”

    That hall thing is a great example of how the Brains will latch on to one goofy detail and just milk it for all it’s worth. “Come in.” “Or out, I guess.”

    “Now it’s a hat made out of an udder!”

    “He tried to kill me!”
    “I wouldn’t spit on you!”
    “Joshua saved my life!”
    “We will return to Non Sequitur Theatre!” I use that riff a lot. :)

    Another riff that always jumps out and gets me: “Hey look, they’ve got a Photomat back there.” “Yeah, and it’s saying ‘Oh noooo!'”

    Again, the Brains mine all the humor out of another ridiculous movie aspect, the fact that just about all the main characters are dead by the end of it. Servo’s “OH MY GOD! AAAAAAHHHH!!” is just brilliant.

    And on a final note, I always enjoy Joel comparing the 1870s to the 1970s. The last of the Joel-era “aren’t they cute” moments. :)


  49. Mitchell "Rowsdower" Beardsley says:

    I really like this episode. And it’s the last ‘pure’ Joel episode, which is sad. But at least he ends on a pretty strong note, in my opinion.

    Plus this has possibly the greatest quote in MST history:

    ‘Booze. Write that down.’!


  50. BIG61AL says:

    Ahhhhh yes, Roger Corman. Here’s 8 pages of script, get it in the can in 20 minutes. Cut! PRINT IT!….clearly hollywood loved the Corman as he could turn out movies faster the next edition of the newspaper….I love this episode, great riffs abound…..:eek:


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