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Clueless CT Review

DVD Talk has posted what I think may be the first really harshly negative review of Cinematic Titanic. I remember reviews of MST3K: The Movie that were like this. Some people are just much too personally invested in movies, I guess. I could tear this one down myself (and I may, later) but I’ll let you guys have a go at it first.

131 Replies to “Clueless CT Review”

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  1. Rhys says:

    b) the vast majority of people working in the world of cheap movies were trying their best with the money and time available to them. (Producer Jerry Warren was a notable exception.) Could the folks at Cinematic Titanic do better under similar circumstances? Probably not.

    :neutral: Dude, Joel Hodgson made mst3k on a 10 dollar budget, and had to make the sets and robots in a night.

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  2. Mrbat423 says:

    I don’t know what this guy’s problem is; I always thought the show was pretty funny. Maybe this person is one of those clowns with no scene of humor.

    I have one question; if he doesn’t like the show so intensely why watch it? He writes about how it took him three days to get through it.

    Why? You are under no obligation the watch it and then take all the time to write a review on how much you detest it all.

    Has this Stuart Galbraith IV ever even considered getting a life?

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  3. Will says:

    I think everyone’s taking this just a little too personally. The guy doesn’t like the show. Just because he doesn’t like the show and he has a “IV” at the end of his name doesn’t make him arrogant, or a douchebag. In fact, he might argue that the MST3K crew are arrogant douchebags for making fun of other people’s work.

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  4. The Professor says:

    Wow. That was pretty sweet. I wonder if Stuart Galbraith IV realizes how contradictory it is for him to dislike CT because they make fun of other people’s work…while, in essence, he’s doing the same exact thing with his long negative review of CT. Hats off to you Mr. IV. :roll:

    Also, Stuart, I am much hipper than Manos: The Hands of Fate.

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  5. Rex Dart says:

    I think he does raise an interesting criticism that many of the MST3K cast might be interested in responding to. I know several of them (Frank and Mary Jo in particular) are big fans of older films and might be bothered at the thought that their riffing has tainted others’ perceptions of classic films.

    In my own experience, I have occasionally been watching an older films with friends when one of them (usually the same one, actually) comes out with a MST3K-style riff. While I can appreciate the attempt, we’re watching Rear Window. I think the movie is fine the way it is. So maybe S.G.IV has something.

    On the other hand, I think MST3K offers more respect to classic films than several other popular comedy shows. Watching Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, you can definitely tell that Mike & co respect Casablanca, but I wouldn’t say the same sentiment is as clearly demonstrated when The Simpsons, Family Guy or Robot Chicken parody Citizen Kane. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those shows.)

    In the end, though, I think every MSTie knows in his/her heart of hearts that some films (MANOS) are simply qualitatively better with commentary. In that regard, I think he’s quite simply wrong.

    For those who are interested, Stuart Galbraith IV is the author of the 1998 book “Monsters are Attacking Tokyo: The Incredible World of Japanese Fantasy Films.” I happen to own this book, as I’m a Japanese monster fan myself. S.G.IV even manages to suck the fun out of this topic. In his reviews sections, he gives Invasion of the Neptune Men two (out of four) stars, calling it a “familiar but well-produced alien invasion mini-epic” and goes on to praise its “impressive scenes of destruction.

    … Then again, maybe he’s just crazy.

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  6. majorjoe23 says:

    I think The Simpsons respect for Citizen Kane is pretty clear, in that I don’t recall them ever taking jabs at the film itself, but use it as a springboard for their own jokes/stories.

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  7. Pete says:

    Yes, he was very bitter, but he’s slightly on the money that the MST people haven’t exactly branched out into different comedic ventures after all these years. He could have called Joel a one trick pony and be sort of on the money, but “parasite” was a bit much. Joel IS a one trick pony, but it was a hell of a trick.

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  8. Pinback65 says:

    While I agree Galbraith’s review is a bit schoolmarmish, the tone of most of these comments ironically seems to prove him correct. Guy gives a MST spinoff a bad review? So what? He’s entitled to his opinion. But these comments, full of childish (and decidedly unfunny) name-calling, call to mind all those poor fanboys who couldn’t accept that some critics didn’t think THE DARK KNIGHT was the equal of THE GODFATHER and so wished physical harm on them. Really, I thought (hoped) MST fans were made of better stuff.

    Sad, really.

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  9. mstgator says:

    #23: “I’m writing this as another reviewer at DVD Talk (although I’m very, very much an MST3K fan!), but when this disc was added to the review pool, the fella doing the data entry didn’t mention that it was a Cinematic Titanic disc, and the cover art he posted was for a public domain DVD.

    As far as Stuart knew, he had just requested another copy of The Wasp Woman.”

    So, when the Cinematic Titanic logo popped up on his precious plasma screen, could he not at that point have pressed “STOP” and passed the DVD on to a reviewer (say, yourself) who might have an appreciation for MST3K and its descendants? Or did he just feel the need to rehash what he already said 20 years ago?

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  10. magicvoice says:

    Stuart Galbraith is a BIG Godzilla fan. He’s an author with books on Japanese cinema on amazon.com. He hated MST3K for that reason and now he’s trying to ‘dis CT. His books are dry and serious. He acts like all the Japanese monster movies are masterpieces akin to Rashomon or Seven Samurai. Like I said, I like Godzilla and Gamera too but I also LOVE MST3K and now CT. I know a bad movie when I see one. I can sit and watch a giant monster movie and enjoy the fight scenes but I can also laugh at bad dubbing, or little kids in baseball caps who always solve humanities problems. This guy just needs to lighten up. I’m pretty sure this is the same guy who accused MST of being racist for some of the jokes they made during Prince of Space and Invasion of the Neptune Men. Get a life, Stuart! It’s comedy!

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  11. JoshG says:

    Stuart Galbraith also provided historical commentary on Sony Classic Media’s recent “Invasion of Astro-Monster” disc. That movie, despite being one of the sillier in the early Godzilla series, is given almost hallowed treatment by Galbraith who, while decidedly an expert on the subject, maybe takes it all far too seriously. His commentary is a fairly dry listen though he does make a handful of half-riffs, wry comments about the on-screen imagery.

    Galbraith is definitely one of the world’s experts on the b-movies that we know and love but I suspect that he simply takes this position too seriously. Rather than flowing with the absurdity and ridiculousness of these films he chooses to keep his nose high while droning on humorlessly about every conceivable bit of trivia he’s culled up during his years of research. His knowledge is admirable. His delivery is simply uninteresting.

    That he feels so harshly towards MST and CT is unfortunate though it is his right. He has chosen the ground of the absolutist film scholar, a ground that sadly does not always jive with the MST-style riffing atmosphere whose point is not to present the films in their pure, unadulterated form. To each his own, and a pity that he was saddled with a version of “Wasp Women” that he was so pre-biased against. Too bad he took his frustrations out on this scheduling mistake by ripping into the CT crew.

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  12. Andre says:

    Will says:
    September 8th, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    I think everyone’s taking this just a little too personally. The guy doesn’t like the show. Just because he doesn’t like the show and he has a “IV” at the end of his name doesn’t make him arrogant, or a douchebag. In fact, he might argue that the MST3K crew are arrogant douchebags for making fun of other people’s work.
    ———————————————–
    Stuart? Is that you?

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  13. crowschmo says:

    Based on this well-worded and insightful review, I can no longer call myself a Mystie. I’m ashamed I ever belonged to such a sordid group of cretins who can’t appreciate the beauty of all things cinema.
    I must rethink my entire mindset and go and reflect and rewatch these gems of creativity; enjoy the subtle nuances of such tray-sures like “Swamp Diamonds” and “King Dinosaur” and keep in mind the love and care that was put into every precious frame.
    We mustn’t corrupt the frail young minds of today by not letting them see the true art that is “Monster A Go-Go” in all it’s unriffed glory.
    It is indeed our heritage, our gift to them. How will they learn to be decent, hard-working citizens without the benefit of sitting still and silent in reverance at these films?

    I must withdraw my participation in this deplorable website and….

    Oh, come ON!!! These movies blow, let’s face it!

    As was pointed out by many, this guy isn’t doing anything original either. What is his job anyway, but to critique OTHER PEOPLE’S WORK. DUH.

    FYI – One doesn’t need a big budget to be a good actor, and, hey, my parent’s old home movies on Super8 had better lighting then some of these crapfests.

    And I also agree, that the riffers actually DID have an appreciation for a lot of these movies they’re just having fun with. If one can’t see it, then, well…idiot.

    But – maybe this guy was just trying to get us all riled up, and he’s having the last laugh, thinking -“See – you’re doing just what I was doing HAH!

    Nah, probably not.

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  14. Keegan says:

    Great one, Pinback…

    “Really, I thought (hoped) MST fans were made of better stuff.

    Sad, really.”

    Well, while you’re mourning the MSTies moral decay, I’ll be busy laughing at reviews like Stu4’s. It’s an aggressively negative review echoing the very attitudes that he accuses the CT/MST3K of propagating. Anytime someone starts raging that emotionally about damn near anything, it’s time to just slowly back away, smiling and nodding politely.

    Plus, people should take it easy on someone who unleashes “talentless cretin”/”parasite” blasts. I don’t see why that brand of rhetoric should invite scorn or anger, either. :roll:

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  15. crowschmo says:

    Also – one doesn’t need a big budget to know enough not to shout, “Watch out for snakes!” WHILE YOU’RE FILMING.

    At least edit it out! Jeez!

    Priceless gems, all of them.

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  16. Goji says:

    If I thought that MST3K was just about trashing low budget movies, I’d probably hate it too (though not with as much passion, I just can’t get worked up that much). But it never has been for me. I have loved “classic” (old) science fiction and horror films longer than I have loved MST. And I don’t always like them just to poke fun at them. There are many that I do like to appreciate on their own merits terms, though others are more fun just to snicker at. Either way, It was this love that led me to MST in the first place. Most of the movies on MST, at least the episodes I enjoy most, are ones I’d watch on my own, whether because they are films I consider good (“Gorgo”, “Godzilla vs Sea Monster”) or just because they’re enjoyably goofy (Prince of Space, Samson vs the Vampire Women). MST is, at its best, just a different prism through which to view films. A sardonic and derisive one, sure, but it’s a lot of fun if not taken seriously. They’re just jokes. And hey, the writing and delivery is so sharp on this show, I usually end up laughing even if I don’t agree that what they’re mocking is deserving of it (usually the so-and-so is too ugly/fat/thin/whatever jokes). In any case, I don’t think there’s a conflict between enjoying both MST3K and any older film for any reason.

    Oh, and Invasion of the Astro Monster is a great, fun movie.

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  17. Edge says:

    Those who can do.
    Those who can’t teach.
    Those who can’t do either, criticize the first two groups.

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  18. crowschmo says:

    If it weren’t for those who teach, those who can, couldn’t.

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  19. losingmydignity says:

    The biggest audience for CT is pre-teens, Ballbreath claims? Really?
    There is hope for our youth!

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  20. Kentucky Cunctator says:

    It’s good to see “Bob Evil” from Merlin’s Mystical Shop of Wonders can still get work. Reviewing strip malls can’t pay all of the bills.

    I’m ritzch!

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  21. MikeK says:

    Here’s another good thing that MST3K has done. I would never have seen any of the movies on MST3K, aside from the Godzilla pictures, if it weren’t for that show.

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  22. I do think, however big of a dick this guy is (and he obviously IS) that it’s a shame that it was Wasp Woman he got, because it really isn’t the best thing these guys have done, and not something that might change the mind of a hater.*

    I wish he’d have gotten their last release instead.

    (*Yes, yes, I’m sure his mind is too closed to the idea to have it be changed)

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  23. Fred P says:

    I sent an e-mail to stu after reading his article. It tells you to e-mail the Author at the top (I encourage each of you to do so) He seems to be a movie historian who was born in Detroit ,Mi. In 1965(No jokes I’m From Michigan originally). So he’s only 43. He’s written books that all seem to be related to Japan, Sci-fi, Kurosawa and things like that. My guess is he got bent out of shape seeing His beloved Gamera and or Godzilla riffed and couldn’t take a joke. It also says he lives in Kyoto Japan with his wife Yukiyo. He graduated from USC’s film school. If you do e-mail him end with “go to bed old man” I think it fits even though he’s not that old.

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  24. Did It For The Kicks Man says:

    SG4 is a humourless knob, and I think we’re putting more thought into his review than he did before he posted it, otherwise he’d see the irony in what he was doing/saying. He doesnt enjoy it. From how it sounds, he would rather compare/contrast the size of Godzilla over the years than develop his sense of humour. I see an hour and a half of laughs when I see ‘Prince of Space’…he sees a subject to examine.

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  25. garth arizona says:

    I agree with Fred P #73. Everyone should e-mail S.G. IV with your comments about his review. I just finished mine. Nothing profane…I could barely control myself :twisted: .

    I just let him know what others here have already stated, that he, as a film critic, is also a leach that has never really created anything original.

    This guy loves irritating us, and he is damn good at what he does.

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  26. Gorn Captain says:

    #57 Just about every cast member did non-riff related projects in the past decade or so. Does Tv Wheel, or Edward the Less, or Timmy Big Hands ring any bells?
    So they did try to do different things.

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  27. garth arizona says:

    Joe Bob Briggs is the only film critic worth a damn. I wonder what JBB would think about SGIV’s attitude to B-movie trash.

    JBB loves B-movies, but if it’s crap, he’ll tell you it’s crap.

    I’ll wager JBB has forgotten more about “B-movies” than SGIV has ever known.

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  28. Fred P says:

    Ok Garth in Az. I know this seems odd and way off the subject But I live in Kingsport, Tn. and Have a friend here named Ed Z. who used to live in Yuma, Arizona and spoke of a friend named Garth who was a big Mst3k fan. I’m just wondering if you are his buddy and what a wonderful small MST world we live in.

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  29. garth arizona says:

    Unfortunately, no. I can’t recall any Ed Z., and I’ve never been in Yuma. I’m from Northern Arizona.

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  30. Fred P says:

    Then there’s another Garth who’s a big fan in Az.

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  31. magicvoice says:

    The irony is, many people, including myself would have never seen the Gamera films had it not been for MST3K. Now I love Gamera, even without the riffing. I always felt that the Godzilla and Gamera films were handled with affection by Joel and the crew. Stuart IV really needs to lighten up. There are other people in the Japanese monster film fan circles that DO appreciate MST3K. Stuart is not one of them. He’s taking it as a personal attack that someone would make fun of something that HE likes.

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  32. Hugh says:

    Ah, I see this bit of news did not go unseen here, either. Heh. Yeeeah. What a nice thing to see upon turning the computer on.

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  33. Frank Conniff says:

    The guy’s review didn’t really bother me at all, because he just plain doesn’t like the movie-riffing genre, period, and he doesn’t think we’re funny in the first place; he just thinks we suck from the word go, so there’s no way we could please him anyway. I get more bummed out when I read posts from fans on the forums who really want to like Cinematic Titanic, but somehow it falls short for them. I feel disappointed when we don’t make those people laugh, because they’re coming at our project with an open mind. But this other guy, who brags that he hated MST3K twenty years ago? Who gives a ****.

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  34. Mrbat423 says:

    A “one trick Pony” Pete! Give me a break, we have dedicated an entire web-site to this quote one-trick what more do you want from these people. I mean most, if not all of use on the page have not even come up with a single trick.

    So how can a bunch of zero trick ponies criticize someone who came up with the very thing that this web-site is dedicated to and mock it by calling them a one trick… whatever?

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  35. norgavue says:

    Ouch I suppose everyone can have their say but this guy doesn’t strike me as impartial when he reviewed this.

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  36. Manny Sanguillen says:

    I agree with Frank.

    Who gives a ****?

    The guy has an opinion so far out touch with the mainstream that all one can do is make a mental note to ignore anything the guy ever has to say in the future.

    Nobody with even a particle of brain matter is ever going to value any of his thoughts after such a ridiculously biased and whiny review as he gave for CT’s Wasp Woman.

    My only complaint about Cinematic Titanic is that I WANT MORE! MORE I TELL YOU!

    Come on Night of the Lepus!

    (Even I’d pitch in a few bucks for the rights to that one, or at least pay a little extra for the dvd.).

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  37. Pinback65 says:

    I can think of numerous ways to counter Galbraith’s original review (for instance, pointing out that MST, CT and Rifftrax could themselves be considered a form of film criticism), but it would never occur to me to respond by making fun of his name (Ballbreath–what Shavian wit!) or calling him a douchebag.

    And now, rather than issuing these priceless bons mots here on a forum he’s unlikely to read, we’re encouraging each other to email the guy and deliver sniggering insults right to him? Wow! That’ll show him! Show him that MSTies are every bit as childish and witless as he claims, that is.

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  38. jello says:

    Glad to see Frank and the rest of the CT crew can roll with the punches from those who just don’t get it and never will. This fan is quite happy with the work Joel, Trace, Frank, Josh, and Mary Joe are putting out and will gladly continute to throw praise in their direction. Praise and cash.

    Oh, and Frank… there’s an extra 20 in it for ya if we get to see some skin!

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  39. I'm not a medium, I'm a petite says:

    Not that they need it, but let me defend the offended.

    Are we over-reacting to SG4 ? Arguably, maybe yes. But maybe no. SG4 is not some guy that just happens to dislike CT. I happen to dis-like CT, but unlike SG4, I do NOT think that its owners and creators are unethical hacks and leeches, nor by extension do I think that the consumers of CT are some how a kabal of perverts enabling the destruction of art and goodness.

    SG4 appears to think that, and that is very strong meat. And it IS an indirect personal attack on many of us here. Trivial though it may be.

    But should we devote our lives to making things difficult for SG4 ? of coure not. He’s clearly got enough trouble dealing with reality as it is.

    ( ummm errr hi Mr. Conniff, sorry about all the negative CT vibe, especially since you appear to be a fellow A&C fan, but I got to call it like I see it )

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  40. Stuart!

    M’nuts!

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  41. Bobo "BuckDat" Briggs says:

    Kinda curious to know what he actually DOES find funny…Wait a minute. I don’t think I care. :neutral: :cry:

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  42. Big Stupid says:

    Of course Mr. IV is entitled to his opinion, but I don’t have to respect it.
    He’s assigning a huge level of artistic merit to a movie that had less effort put into it than an episode of “Mama’s Family”.
    That’s where his argument falls apart. Just because it’s a movie doesn’t mean it’s “cinema”.

    To refute another of IV’s points – as others have said, I love CT and MST3K, and I think they’ve given me a much greater appreciation for old movies than I would’ve had otherwise.

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  43. GizmonicTemp says:

    Frank #84 – (If that IS indeed your real name! :wink: A lot of people who love MST3K didn’t like the first season, myself included. I say to them, just give CT time. A whole lot of precious time. (And plenty of money, yeah, to do it, to do it…)

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  44. Creepygirl says:

    This guy has never liked MST3k. I’m more surprised that he carried it around so long. I also believe this is the first truly negative review of CT I’ve read. Most folks do “get it”.

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  45. Mrbat423 says:

    Big Stupid makes some good point, the staffs at MST, CT or RT probably put more time, effort and preparation on one of their shows that riffs on the movie then the producers and directors did on the actually movies themselves. Most of which were cheap throw-way knockoffs produced in a couple of weeks designed to fill the marques at cheap dime movie houses.

    Most people who saw these films enjoyed them for their camp value only and didn’t consider them works of art that someone poured their hearts and souls into, because frankly they didn’t. I remember going to grind house in the seventies and eighties where they would show a lot of these old movies and people were riffing on these movie MST style throughout it was hilarious.

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  46. Fred P says:

    Pinback65 when I suggested people e-mail him I didn’t suggest calling him names or insulting him. I told Stu IV (in my e-mail) I thought he sounded bitter and unhappy and That Mst3k or CT would help him with that problem if he gave them a chance. I also told him to look back at Joel’s career because I was bothered by the fact he didn’t seem to know Joel was a well respected comedian in his own right before Mst3k. I told him to look at Joel’s old SNL appearances as well as his Letterman and Carson appearances. Then I told him to take a look at this sight and read the reviews of his review and that he might then find out why people like US love the show and how it got some of them to enjoy old sci-fi movies they never would have seen otherwise. I did then say I bet you didn’t like “Airplane” either. That was as scathing and insulting as I got. Who knows maybe he will look and get it a little.

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  47. I’m not a medium, I’m a petite says says:

    ( off-topic here, sorry. a propos almost nothing except riffing shows )

    We used to have Joel & the Bots and then Mike & the Bots.

    Now we have Film Crew / Rifftrax: Mike and the N’ots ( Non-Robots ); and Cinematic Titanic: Joel and the N’ots.

    I just wish the N’ots part didn’t sound so negative, it’s not supposed to be a put-down, just a neat bit of word play.

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  48. Cullen says:

    If there is anything at all that I have learned in my 39 years, it is that not everyone laughs at the same stuff. I’ve sat with people watching a movie and they’ll be howling with laughter at something that, to me, is just soul crushingly unfunny. The guy just can’t turn his crank to Frank and I can’t fault him for it. I do, however, find his venom against the show to be a bit weird. It’s like he’s got a vendetta against it because they dared to make fun of moives he likes. I think he just takes movies way too seriously. Christ man, I love Godzilla movies too. And I respect Roger Corman. I think he’s done a LOT for the independent film industry, but hey, some of his movies are kinda goofy. Roll with it. And besides, Laughing at these movies is simply a defense mechanism. Humans tend to try and find humor in things that horrify them ’cause doing that knocks that scary **** down a notch or two.

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  49. Happenstance says:

    While I can understand the offense he takes at some of the harsher, less-deserved riffing (I personally get all nerd-ragey at Mike Nelson’s almost vicious commentary on the original “The Little Shop Of Horrors,” and dislike most Rifftrax titles for similar reasons), the review has an air of sneering at the stupid blaspheming heathens who just don’t understand that anything made before 1975 or so is True Art that must only be revered.

    In reality, I fancy he’s just another attention-whore who’s kicking a hornet’s nest so he can be the center of a few people’s anger for a few brief moments. …Ah, to live!

    Sorry, Poopie, lines like “Who keeps a masturbation journal?” or “We can’t find Grampa’s headstone” aren’t picking on your precious movie…which you can always get in non-riffed form. Choke on it.

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