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Harsh Review of MST3K: The Movie

A guy named Hemanth Kissoon runs a site called Filmulation.com. Admitting he had never ever heard of MST3K before (which tells me he is probably in England) he takes a look at the new Blu-Ray MST3K: The Movie. With zero context to support his viewing, he unsurprisingly hates it.

89 Replies to “Harsh Review of MST3K: The Movie”

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  1. Fodder says:

    I think the rain has him down. That or didn’t have enough Monty Python references.

       2 likes

  2. Ralph C. says:

    To each his or her own. I guess not everyone likes the show. That’ll happen, sometimes. Everyone is allowed their own opinion.

       6 likes

  3. Jer says:

    @Ralph C: Exactly. I’ve shown the show to ex-girlfriends. None of them became fans of the show and I didn’t bother showing them anymore.

       4 likes

  4. Canucklehead says:

    I always wonder about those people who say, “I’ve heard of it, but never seen it.” Where, exactly, did they hear it from? It’s not like MST3K is a trending topic on Twitter (though it should be). Still, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he heard about it from a friend of a friend. That still begs the question of “If you’ve never seen it, why bother to review it?” It’s like Harry at Ain’t it Cool News: what’s the point of his putting it in his new releases column when you know he’s gonna say “I hate it?” I think they review it just so they can say that they hate it. I find that sad, more than anything else.

    And I also have to question his comment about it being easy to slate a movie. Which it is, if all you want to say is “this is crap!”

    And I’m done. :-)

       5 likes

  5. Gary Bowden says:

    He’s heard of MST3K,but has never seen it? Interesting.So,I guess he’s never heard of Youtube either? Guess some people are not curious enough to check something out they’ve never seen or heard before.Sad really….

       11 likes

  6. Geko says:

    I do not feel that having “zero context” is a leading factor in this review; the movie was my first real sink-my-teeth-into-it experience of MST and I was summarily hooked. Most times it’s best to realize that someone out there will dislike the things I like, and for perfectly cogent reasons. I’m pretty sure I prefer it that way too.

       7 likes

  7. WeatherServo9 says:

    Hemanth Kissoon went to school with Faruk Alatan.

       8 likes

  8. Sampo says:

    Geko–I agree. I just personally think the movie is best enjoyed wrapped snugly in a blanket of context. If you walk in on something like this completely cold, it can be jarring. This guy clearly has basic expectations of acting skill, production values and the like. You’re not going to get them met with this movie and you need to throw those expectations out to enjoy it. He chose not to. His choice.

       5 likes

  9. Cubby says:

    The nut graph (though there’s only three):

    Basically what MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000: THE MOVIE is, is a sarcastic running commentary by three dudes (two of whom are robot puppets) on a film playing in the background. They make cinema and pop culture quips, which occasionally invoke a titter of amusement. Thrown into the mix is a dubious lack of political correctness, which is nowhere near the satire/thought-provoking end of such a spectrum. …[Sentence cut because it restates the first.] The choice of derision is THIS ISLAND EARTH (1955), a sci-fi B picture, and the question is: what’s the point? It’s easy to slate such a slice of hokum. Though probably the rights owner of a more famous film would never allow it to be insulted so.

    Other than it didn’t make him laugh (to a comedian that’s deadly criticism enough), he really has nothing more to add. ::shrug::
    I remember the Chicago Reader review; that was much harsher.

       1 likes

  10. snowdog says:

    Thrown into the mix is a dubious lack of political correctness…

    I must admit that I find this claim more than a little curious. Was there something in the movie that seriously offended his sensibilities? The Brains rarely veer from the politically correct path.

       13 likes

  11. radioman970 says:

    Poor guy. I couldn’t imagine looking at my collection of MST3K DVDs and just seeing so much… emptiness? Awww… *hands over eyes* make that thought go away!!! mommy! please please!

       4 likes

  12. Howdyflanders (Dane) says:

    He’s obviously not ward E. His loss.

       1 likes

  13. Neptune Man says:

    MST3K: the Movie was my first Mst3k ever. It it was 1997, I was surfing channels when I stumbled upon channel 23, called Cinecanal, there was some guy on an airplane, then everything turned green, at the bottom of the screen there were three sillhouetes makig hilarious comment on the action. I laughed so hard that day. Years passed, and the movie became a cherised memory of my childhood, till we got Internet connection in 2007, suddenly, I remembered the title of the movie in Spanish, Misterio en el Espacio, I googled the word, found Youtube, and the rest is history…Huh? Oh, yes! Back to the topic in question, yes, Mr B. Natural is a man.

       9 likes

  14. JC says:

    I wouldn’t have known about MST3K if I hadn’t seen a promo of the movie on the TV Guide Channel first, so it’s always had a soft spot in my heart. However, I can understand someone not liking the movie if they have never seen or heard of the show before. To each his own, I guess!

    Only 3 little paragraphs though? Why bother doing a review at all if you aren’t going to cover much ground?

       1 likes

  15. Boggy Man says:

    A woeful lack of research, shallower than a kiddie pool and the intellectual/verbal complexity of a high school book report. Yeah, when you make Harry Knowles look like James Agee your not getting put in my bookmarks.

       5 likes

  16. Crow T. Robert says:

    “Don’t make me go to the larder and unseal a tin of Whup-Ass.”

    The critic’s dismissive attitude tells me he was already disposed to his dislike of things.

    “We must submit this to a committee for a discussion about this most unfortunate situation.”

       2 likes

  17. Operation Weasel-Snitch says:

    There weren’t any puppets in this movie.

    It seems like the broader the appeal, the more bland and homogenized things become. I watched the Avengers and felt like every scene was standardized – like it was just a pastiche of scenes that worked in other movies.

    I don’t personally know anyone else who likes MST3K. But I don’t need other people to like it before I can enjoy it. Hemanth thought thith epithode thucked. But I’m glad we don’t all like the same things. How dull would that be?

       3 likes

  18. big61al says:

    Obviously the reviewer just does not get it…..how sad [teardrop]

       3 likes

  19. Blast Hardcheese says:

    And who, exactly, is Hemanth Kissoon? And why should his opinion be taken as definitive? The one comment on the blog warns him to be prepared for a whole lotta flaming–obviously someone is aware how strongly MSTies defend the show. Me, I just write it off as one person’s opinion–I’m sad that he didn’t get it, but it doesn’t hurt my enjoyment at all. Guess he won’t be posting on Satellite News any time soon.

       5 likes

  20. mst3ktemple says:

    I’ve always believed that MST is one of those things you either like or you don’t pretty much from the first moment you see it. I don’t think it’s really an acquired taste. Like Joel himself once said (paraphrasing) “we never ask who will get this. We know the right people will get it.” If you don’t “get it” you probably never will. This reviewer obviously doesn’t “get it.” His loss.

       3 likes

  21. Stacia says:

    he had never ever heard of MST3K before (which tells me he is probably in England)

    Woah! Huge slam on England out of nowhere!

    Seriously, though, the point is a good one. He’s going to have less exposure to the show and the culture is, of course, quite different than U.S. culture. He might not get the quips about this being a time when science didn’t have to have any purpose, for instance. And the segments between TIE in The Movie are nowhere near as funny as the ones on the show itself, though I confess an unhealthy fondness for Crow breaching the hull and the “Do you need an adapter?” guy in the shower.

    That said, his review is really short and vague, and the screencaps are horrible. I know this is allegedly an online magazine, but it looks more like someone’s personal blog and I get the feeling we’re picking on someone unfairly here.

       5 likes

  22. The Bolem says:

    Well, at least he kept it short instead of writing a whole essay in knee-jerk this-is-why-kids-today-don’t-respect-classic-movies snob mode, unlike that Galbraithe fellow (not wasting the time it would take to spell-check that).

    I too am confused about the “un-PC” comment: if the movie has a weakness, I always thought it was the riffing being a bit toned-down compared to most of the show so there’d be less risk of anyone taking offense, making it one of their more PC efforts. Was it the “Heil Hitler”? That actual “weenine-men” wouldn’t like being compared to that guy in the beginning?

    Oh well, maybe he’ll give the actual show a chance someday. Not that I care.

    “…and if you were made of metal, that would mean something.”

       5 likes

  23. Raptorial Talon says:

    I guess this person just didn’t have a NORMAL VIEW! of the context.

    That said, I do have to at least agree that the film is rather lackluster compared to (and shorter than) many episodes. The Hollywood-executized format (especially of the host segments), the lack of a Forrester-Frank dynamic, etc . . . for me, it’s not one I would use as an introduction to the show.

    And the whole cultural thing can be huge in terms of getting references. I’m a youngin’ and I don’t follow half the stuff they rely on during much of the early run of the show.

       1 likes

  24. Pulatso says:

    I think Stacia (#21) is right, looking at the rest of his page, there’s no comments, no articles liked on FB, and nothing tweeted out. His page hits probably went up 1000% from the link being posted here. Online magazine my hinder.

       2 likes

  25. Jason says:

    While I respect his opinion, I have zero love of his screencapping skills. Did he print them out, bleach them and then re-scan them with a cellphone??

       7 likes

  26. Brooklyn MST3K says:

    I think the more important thing is that MST3K: TM is coming to Bluray! When was it announced?

       4 likes

  27. R.A. Roth says:

    It would be nice if the BR version had the WHOLE movie riffed, as the Brains intended it, instead of the short subject matter that was released and subsequently panned by critics, not for the riffing itself, but that This Island Earth, a “cherished” film from their childhood, was savaged by a lumbering Swede in a jumpsuit and two snarky glorified Tinker Toys.

    But, hey, that’s life, right?

    It really makes you wonder who thought the idea for a TV show six years in the running could translate to the silver screen, let alone have the vanilla-bland appeal necessary to hook the attentions of the average lumpy human at large.

    Still, I’m glad they made it. Look how funny the bitterness of the experience made the very brief seventh season. Night of the Blood Beast is laden with vitriol and venom. You can almost taste their disappointment with the movie.

    Randy

       4 likes

  28. MPSh from Lowell says:

    Short review. It seemed to me that he had more to say but cut himself off….

       2 likes

  29. Stoneman says:

    Hemanth Kissoon? I’m wondering if maybe he is from the land that gave us “the beauty that is Saskatoon?”.

    Anyway, I would recommend he try a few episodes to gain an accurate like or dislike. The first time I saw MST3K a friend showed a bit of “Santa Claus Conquers The Martians”. I was like, ok, I’m not sure why this is “hilarious” as claimed by my friend. I’ve had the same experience with certain albums/CDs over the years. After catching the show on TV a few more times, it started to click, and I have been a fanatic ever since.

    Hey, maybe that could be a weekend thread? What episodes would you recommend to Mr. Kissoon to make him a “believer”? (although I know in the past there has been a thread addressing that in a general way, so maybe not).

    Oh well, his loss.

       1 likes

  30. Kenneth Morgan says:

    Oh, well. As my brother says, “Shrug shoulders. Keep walking.”

       2 likes

  31. Herandar says:

    Whoop-de-****.

       3 likes

  32. Kathy says:

    “he had never ever heard of MST3K before (which tells me he is probably in England)”

    I know that MST3K: TM has been available in the UK even when they weren’t selling it here because of that stupid lawsuit.

    I even used to see it on episodes of “EastEnders” in the neighborhood video store in the late 90’s – had a nice position on the wall right behind the register and therefore right over the shoulder of the character running the place.

    Maybe it’s just that the British would consider talking over movies to be too rude even when it’s meant to be entertaining.

       1 likes

  33. Ang says:

    MST3K: The Movie was the first DVD I bought way back in 2000. I think I got it on ebay as it was out of print and hard to find as my fellow MSTies know. I didn’t know it was coming out on bluray and will definitely be picking that up.

       0 likes

  34. rocketnumbernine says:

    Come on, Hemanth. It’s just a show. You should really just relax.

       3 likes

  35. bigbrainbotboy says:

    He-Man-th, and the Masters of the Useless-th !

    I know that was a bit silly. However, I feel a reviewer that cannot fathom poking fun at “hokum” as legitamite entertainment, but then previously states that “titters of amusement” were had while watching said MSTied movie is a bit of a hypocrite. Heck, this guy sounds like a B movie hater anyway! That would make him prejudiced going into the project. :disdain:

       0 likes

  36. Flopsy T. Hamster says:

    From what I can gather, the Blu-Ray edition of the movie was released on May 28, only in Region B (playable in Europe, Australia, Africa, The Middle East). It’s called the “Humdinger Edition” for some reason, bet there doesn’t appear to be any extras.)

    I think making fun of bad movies may be a lost art, as there is no real need to watch bad movies any more. With so many ways to get movies now, you can pretty much choose what movie you want to watch at any given time, and if it’s not to your liking, you can pick another one. It’s not like the 80’s and early 90’s when you pretty much had to watch whatever was showing on a handful of channels you had, or rent a movie on VHS – and if you rented a bad movie, you were stuck with it. There was nothing else to watch that night. Now days, you pretty much have to go out of your way to see a bad movie. (Yes, a lot of Hollywood movies are “bad” these days, but not not to the same degree as, say, a Coleman Francis movie.”)

    While I think there are fewer people today that will “get it”, you can appreciate MST3K without any context. My introduction to the show was entirely without any context. A guy I was trading tapes with sent me a copy of “King Dinosaur” without telling me what it was. I put the tape on and was instantly hooked. Everything you need to know about the show is there in the opening theme song. I was initially put off by the cheapness of the sets and the puppets, but all that went away as soon as the short started. I got it. And by the time the movie started, I was thinking, “Are they gonna do the entire movie? This is the coolest thing ever!”

    Perhaps the movie would be better appreciated if a new intro was made for the movie – perhaps even with a new rendition of the theme song. No one should ever see MST3K for the first time without a Robot Roll-Call.

       1 likes

  37. Blast Hardcheese says:

    @29 (Stoneman):

    He wouldn’t “get” Saskatoon, either. He’d see it as “a barely funny, interminable experience,” especially if he were visiting in January. :-D From other parts of his site, it’s clear to me he’s a Brit–make of that what you will.

    I think the warning sign for me is his rating based on how entertaining and “thought-provoking” a film is. I watch a lot of thought-provoking things, but MST ain’t one of ’em. I don’t expect “satire” in that sense from the Brains, even though they’re highly intelligent and literate people. MST is smart, clever, and original, but it’s not “intellectual” in the way Kissoon is expecting. If you’re looking for that in your humour, you’ve come to the wrong place–and I think that’s why he didn’t get it. I could say it’s unpretentious, too–which it is–but that might appear to be a swipe at Mr Kissoon. You know what I mean, right?

    And yeah, he should really just relax. It’s too bad that reminder wasn’t somehow worked into The Movie–I know the first time I saw the show, that line told me exactly what brain setting to use. Worked like a charm.

       3 likes

  38. Mikey Elms says:

    Seriously? That’s the whole review? Felt like there was more to it at the end? I was looking around for something to click on to go to the next page so I could finish reading the review, but there was nothing.

    To paraphrase the end of The Horrors of Spider Island “So, you want to end your review that way, huh? Okay, get bent!”

       3 likes

  39. Cheapskate Crow says:

    I didn’t like the movie because it was so hacked up, I have no idea why they shortened TIE as much as they did. Not to mention it sounds like the tensions in the making of it basically destroyed the TV show. The real question is why are they releasing the blu-ray everywhere except the region that the show started and most of its fans live in?

       2 likes

  40. Mikey Elms says:

    His bio here: http://www.sfflondon.org/en/the-festival-the-team.html claims that he is a corporate lawyer turned cinema and arts journalist.

    A lawyer. That explains it all.

    And it does appear that he is from the UK.

       4 likes

  41. So? An ex-barrister from England doesn’t like MST3K? Ho-hum.

    Doesn’t interest me enough to even visit the web site and, frankly, the only reason I looked at the comments was there were so many I had to see what the heck folks could possibly say about this. I think some had it right — the only really interesting thing is that a blu-ray of this exists somewhere (I’ll have to see if I can get a hold of it, maybe I can buy it from Amazon.UK).

    There’s no accounting for taste (but you *can* demand an audit).

       1 likes

  42. MikeK says:

    That wasn’t much of a review.

    I will admit that the movie is a poor example of MST3K.

       1 likes

  43. Matt D says:

    The best thing I can take from all of this, is that this made me love a Neptune Man post (@13). That’s a big step.
    As for the review itself, I’m guessing this guy didn’t like the way that the movie discriminated against mutANTS.

       2 likes

  44. Johnny K says:

    All i can hear is the music that plays when the guy with the Bowler hat walks up at the end of the deadly bees….

       5 likes

  45. GarrettCRW says:

    A review as short as that, and without even the slightest attempt to create some context?

    Dickweed. (Someone had to say it. :-D )

    However, this guy cannot pee in my Cheerios, for my order for Volume 10.2 new on Friday arrived today…..

    And it was Volume 10. Brand new.

    Upon successful completion of the episode, I shall be gleefully snapping my DAP disc of Godzilla vs. Megalon in half.

       3 likes

  46. KidFlash25 says:

    I lived in London for a year (grad school), and none of my European friends had ever heard of the show, for what it’s worth.

       1 likes

  47. Josh says:

    I’m failing to see why context is necessary for MST3k The Movie. He has more than enough (i.e. this was a TV show), and its not like the movie relies on past episodes to sell its conceit. Some people just don’t like the concept (Harry Knowles of Ain’t It Cool News is one notable detractor), and their opinion is as valid as anyone else’s.

    That said, I don’t understand why so many MSTies number The Movie as one of the weakest entries. Its definitely lighter on the jokes than most episodes, but the ones that are there are really, really memorable and funny, and I enjoyed the host segments a lot. There are a lot of mitigating circumstances that prevent it from being the absolute best episode, but I will often use The Movie as a way of introducing people to the show, and it really really works.

       5 likes

  48. Gorn Captain says:

    Ex barrister turned cinema arts journalist? This fellow sounds like a character in a Monty Python sketch!

    Anyway, as Joel once said, “The right people will get it.”

       1 likes

  49. Nick says:

    perhaps his reasons for not liking it are the same reasons normal audience goers who attended the movie when it first came out didn’t like it?

    could a non-fan, who hasn’t seen the show walk blindly into a theatre and enjoy the movie without the context?

       0 likes

  50. GarrettCRW says:

    I think that it’d be a hurdle, though I do recall hearing WAY too many times that taking on This Island Earth was akin to sacrilege.

       0 likes

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