…Watney is at the very top of my list of Characters I Do Not Want Trapped In An Elevator With Me.
I immediately smelled a WDT, especially when “GizmonicTemp” added:
Nice! I think we should also include characters you WOULD want to be trapped in an elevator with (you know, since we’re talking about Talena this week and all).
For “wouldn’t want to be trapped” I would have to go with the fat mountain climber from “”The Crawling Eye.” Nuff said there.
For “would want to be trapped” I would pick Dr. Kolos from “The Human Duplicators” — he could probably beam us out of there.
What are your picks?
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Allison Hayes (in any of her roles), for obvious reasons! Or Beverly Garland as Vera in “Swamp Diamonds.” She’d shoot her way out of the elevator!!
My, my, my, my Mitchell! Agh!!!!!
On the plus side, Prince of Space, because (ha, ha) the
malfunction of the elevator would have no effect on him
and he’d just use his magic wand (take that Harry Potter’s
elder wand) to get out.
Oh, another horror. What if you were trapped in the
elevator for hours with John Agar lecturing you on
Otis, construction of high rises, how when you descend
an elevator goes down, down, down, etc.
I could not be stuck in an elevator with Old Man Crenshaw. The lack of clothing, the perspiration, the beard (and the bugs that must live in it), plus the fact that he’d offer me dip every ten minutes, only to shake his head in deep, disappointing disgust when I decline.
Wouldn’t:
Captain Joe of Star Force because he would say “ha-ha-ha, you’re stuck here!” then take another swig of space booze then pass out.
Would:
Jack Perkins (does he qualify?) I could use his ladder to climb out of the elevator car.
Barring Jack, how about the Herc–assuming he wasn’t under the drug-induced stupor of an evil queen and remembers how to use his muscles–so he could force the elevator doors open.
Would not-ANY of the myriad characters from MSTed movies that talk non-stop(Kathy Ireland, Watney, that angsty little turd from Teenage Crime Wave, etc.). You’re breathin’ my air!!! Definitely not the clapper death monkey, either.
Would-anyone with any electronic know-how, heck, even Dr. Varnhoff would do, but in the event that the elevator is just plain stuck and we gotta wait it out, I’m going with Trumpy doing his “stupid things”. Imagine the security footage!!!!!!
It would be awful to be trapped in an elevator with Wild World of Batwoman’s Heathcliff. Can you imagine the horror of that experience? Gah!
On the other hand, I think I’d be happy to be stuck with Ator. Oh, my, those pecs!
Wouldn’t: The Chairman from Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, for obvious reasons.
Would: John McAllister from Master Ninja I and II, because his theme music could be used to drown out the aggressiely bland Musak being piped in.
Would: Mila (Cavé Dwellers) she could blow the door open with materials found nearby.
Wouldn’t: Adam from HARM. He would try to rewire the elevator controls and I would end up being electrocuted.
Makonnen from Phantom Planet: You know, Captain, every year of my life, I grow more and more convinced that the wisest and best must fix our elevators so the good and the beautiful may ride them…
Just think about being stuck in there with Mr. B Natural, who likely would never stop screeching about the spirit of elevator music.
I’d hate to be stuck with Pile On Pete. Since I’m a pastor, I’d already have my spiritual needs for waiting out the time in the elevator covered so I wouldn’t need him bringing the Word of God to me. Also, the stench would be unbearable!
Wouldn’t mind being stuck with Plant Guy from Robot Holocaust. At least I’d have something to snack on while waiting to be rescued.
Ok – Would not: Pitch. Would: Batwoman (she’s gotta have a gizmo to get us out, but even if she doesn’t, her incompetent enemies would)
Would- Secret Agent Super Dragon because he’d probably have a gadget to get us out.
Wouldn’t- Crapout from “Sidehacker”. Crapout + Bad Jokes + Awful elevator music = Me going insane.
Forgot Jimmy Wilson’s swinging parents and the rest of the “Jack Taylor” crowd as a definite “would”-How long have we been stuck? Will we ever get out? Hell, I don’t care, pour me another! (hic)
lancecorbain: I wouldn’t mind being stuck in an elevator with Kathy Ireland/Wanda Saknusssemmm, as long as she didn’t talk… ;-)
Would not want to be trapped with Ortega–I think he last showered in 1956.
Would also not want to be trapped with teen psychopaths, like Moon, or Ron from “Kitten With a Whip.” Too unpredictable–and Ron’s non-creamy speech patterns would give me a headache after a while.
Would–maybe Gamera–he’d blast open the doors and we’d fly outta there! I’d probably have to have a Japanese schoolkid in short shorts with me to help keep him line.
Wait a minute. How about Aram Fingal? He could just
“reverse the access code” on the elevator. (It’s so
simple no one else would think of trying it).
(Of course, you might also be stuck in the elevator with
a stupid, repulsive anteater if he got something wrong).
Would Not: I should think that being stuck in an elevator with Kalgon from Space Mutiny would be a trial to say the least. His constant posing and going off like Snidely Whiplash would be grating to say the least. At one point I’d mention that he looks like an Italian master thief anti hero I had heard of and that would only confuse him.
WOULD, PLEASE YES, WOULD: Silver Morgan from Girls Town and/or whatever Mamie Van Doren’s character was from Untamed Youth. I should think the reasons are quite self explanatory. I was going to go with Beverly Garland, but she would actually try to figure out how to get out of the elevator in an intelligent lovely manner. Not Mamie, thank goodness!
Would not: Wanda from “Alien from LA”. Listening to her squeaky voice! AHHHHHH!!!!!!
Would: Pumaman. Just have him pop the ceiling latch and fly up to pry open the doors to the above floor!
Would not: Torgo. That would be several different kinds of discomfort.
Would: Natalie from Werewolf, for purely selfish reasons.
If I was trapped with Lobo from “Bride of the Monster”, he’d just pry the doors open and we would escape.Being trapped with Jimmy from “I accuse my Parents” would be hell. I can’t imagine having to listen to him talk about his “perfect” family.
Would NOT want to be trapped in an elevator with our caveman friend Eegah. Awkward sexual tensions all over the place. Don’t think I could handle it.
Worse still: Coily the Spring Sprite. Need I say more? ><
On the other hand… regardless of how pasty he is, I wouldn't mind being trapped in that elevator with Mick of "Squirm" fame. We would chat pleasantly about antiques for a while before mildly succumbing to our mutual fate. (As long as his worm friends don't decide to join us…… O.o)
Would: Any of the Fire Maidens of Outer Space
Would not: Any of the astronauts from the same movie
Would it be too redundant for me to mention Watney again? Nah…
Also on the NO! list would be Torgo, JC from Sidehackers and Dr. Sleaze from The Brain That Wouldn’t Die, because I’m female. There are a bunch more for the list, but these are the skin-crawlingest.
Ator would be a YES, with those pecs and his sensitive side. The various incarnations of Hercules would get a YES with an asterisk, because I’m not fond of facial hair. His strength would be a plus when getting out of the elevator, though. I’d also have to say YES to Santa Claus from SCCTM. He’s fat and round, but jumpin’ jiminy He can climb down any chiminy! At least he isn’t a helpless dolt like the Mexican Santa.
#17–Well sure, I can see how… HEY!!!
I’d want to be trapped with Marisa Mell’s character from Diabolik, for obvious reasons. Though it would probably go south because I don’t have piles of money to roll around in…
As for not… I dunno… how about Thor from “Teenagers From Outer Space”? I’d end up a skeleton in no time.
I’d be OK being trapped with Batwoman, as long as she shared the macaroons and chocolate milk.
I’d DEFINITELY be OK being trapped with James Franciscus (“Marooned,” not to be confused with the aforementioned macaroons). Don’t disturb us. EVER.
And you even have to ask who I wouldn’t want to be trapped with? Torgo and the Master. ** shudder **
Would:
Robbie Benson (City Limits). We could survive by eating his cheese phone.
Chase Winstead (Gila Monster) he could put his knee up which I would use to climb out of the elevator.
Not sure:
Dr. Zorka (Phantom Creeps): He could summon his lumbering robot and we would be rescued… in three weeks.
The Crawling Hand could climb out of the elevator and get help… unless it strangled everyone.
Wouldn’t:
Winky (Manhunt in Space): instead of helping us to escape he would either sing or talk about his… gay nightlife.
Linda (Sidehackers): being bored she would probably cut the elevator cable for kicks baby!
Dan @ 23, do you really think that you could stand the endless loop of Borodin’s Polovtsian Dance #2?
Wouldn’t: Maggie from “Manos.” She would go insane!
Would: Paisley from “Sidehackers.” I don’t usually go for blondes, but she was hot!!
Would – I think it’d be a real hoot to get stuck with Ed Wood. Although he’s not a character from a movie, I think he’d have a lot of interesting stories to tell.
Wouldn’t – Johnny from Time of the Apes. Why? Because he doesn’t care.
Wouldn’t: MITCHELL!!
Would: Sheila in her underwear (from The Projected Man). She’d be panicking over being trapped in a broken elevator, and I’d be there to, you know, comfort her.
Wouldn’t: Droppo. Nuff said.
Would: Mamie Van Doren. Firemen take your time!
Who not to be trapped with? One word, BANJO! That guy really gives me the creeps. Also, he will get hungry sometime.
Who to be trapped with? “Oh Donna” of Arch Hall fame. She likes fire and doesn’t mind shotguns. Also she could shave me. It passes the time.
I agree with #20 it has to be Torgo. First, with those knees I dont think anybody would fit in there with him. Second, I don’t think Torgo and bath are likely to be mentioned in the same sentence. Plus it’s John Reynolds(Torgo) birthday today.
Brandon! #31. I forgot about Shelia. You are correct. Love the plaid blue undies, I’d follow her flip>
Me #27 D-oh! I meant Linda from Wild Rebels.
Dan #23 One of the astronauts may open the elevator door by randomly hitting the wall.
One more for the unsure list:
Geronimo (Final Justice) could shoot a hole in the elevator door (ie create a “bullet door”) but I would probably lose my hearing (like Linda Hamilton during the filming of the elevator scene in T2).
Wouldn’t-Wanda Saknussemm. It would be like suffocating in a vat of my favorite food.
Would-Any of the Spider Island girls.
Would: Duh! Ken from Star Force could use one of his nuclear lapel buttons to blow the door open.
Wouldn’t: Professor Erling and Victor because they would build the elevator FROM THE YEAR 5000! Beware what you encounter when that elevator’s doors open…
Wouldn’t (now that Torgo and Ortega have been mentioned):
Buzz (Mr. B’s friend) and/or Troy (Final Sacrifice) – between the whining and the geek talk I would be insane
Dr. Cortner (The Brain that Wouldn’t Die) – I don’t want my head removed for Jan in the Pan’s use before I get out!
Critter (Girl in Gold Boots) – his songs would make me prefer the elevator music
Would:
Rowsdower – I think either I can aggravate him enough or he would have the DTs so bad he would try to rip the door down
Merlin – he would probably have a spell to open the doors
I didn’t post earlier who I’d want to be stuck with because I couldn’t think of anybody, but it just came to me. I’d want to be stuck with Nastica from Jack Frost. Cutest girl in an episode ever!
Am I allowed to pick Joel Robinson as the character I would want to be trapped with? Because 15 year old me had a giant crush on him…
Crenshaw from Boggy Creek is a definite would NOT, due to the odor that I can only imagine is constantly present.
@ Statskeeper
After you thank Merlin for opening the door, He’ll say Your Welcome.
Would…Natalie from Soultaker…I ahhh kinda like redheads.
Would not…Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III this guy is a douche. “You think you can push the fire button before me? Well go ahead on.” (I do like Mitchell though. I kinda felt bad for him and he really did try to do things right)
Definitely that crazed “rabbit” guy in Blood Lust.
Look, pal, I’m sorry you were stalked for eight months around an inhospitable island jungle by some rich geezer with a crossbow and a taxidermy fetish and driven irretrievably beyond the limits of human endurance into a state of raw primal ferocity but I’ve got my own problems. This building doesn’t even have wifi for my iPhone!
Would not: Mr Cooper from Merlin’s Shop because I’m afraid he’d review me out loud and call me Obi-wan.
Would: Lemminkainen! Who doesn’t like Finnish heroes? And somehow a Sampo would be involved.
Another for the wouldn’t pile would be Col. Glenn Manning-he’s 60 flipping feet tall!! Talk about a crowded elevator. But even as a fantasy, the whole “What kind of sin could one man commit in a single lifetime to deserve this?” would get old.
Another obvious one would be Gene Hackman from Stranded In Space, doing his scenery-chewing freak out just 5 minutes in while Gregory Peck and The Fugitive work to get us unstuck and Gene’s wife turns away in tears and a Russian mechanic comes up in a separate elevator to link up….hell, just transpose that whole movie to an elevator.
I mean Space Travelers!!! Dammit, I shoulda just said Marooned.
WOULDN’T: Digger Smolken’s moldering friend or Edward Mulhare’s look-alike head (it might become a rogue missile should there be a sudden restart)
WOULD: Tanya from Boggy Creek II on account of her fierce determination to get the jeep out of the mud.
WOULDN’T: Absolutely anyone from Hobgoblins, but especially not Daphne. She’d probably need some lovin’ exactly 30 seconds in, and I just don’t want to deal with her and her host of social diseases.
WOULD: Secret Agent Duper Dragon. Without any cigarettes to steal, he seems like a pleasant enough gentleman.
Would- “Moon rock… Oh WOW!”
Would not- Any of the Joe Don Baker characters (well, either of them)