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Weekend Discussion Thread: It’s a Smug-Off!

Regular Kenneth Morgan suggests:

SMUGGEST CHARACTER: Which characters in MSTed movies seem be the biggest insufferable know-it-alls, understand exactly how everyone must do everything, never let the other characters or the audience forget it, and absolutely revel in that perception?

I’m gonna go with Craig “that smug bastard” Stevens in “The Deadly Mantis.” He constantly knows best and lords it over everyone (especially Alix Talton) when he’s actually right. What a jerk.

Your pick?

124 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: It’s a Smug-Off!”

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  1. The Great Vorelli in Devil Doll was pretty smug, especially on the ham issue.

       19 likes

  2. Green Switch says:

    John Agar in ANYTHING.

       32 likes

  3. John Blonde says:

    Awesome, I was gonna say the “Great” Vorelli too! Mainly because I’m watching it right now. I have to watch it during day light because ventriloquist dummies genuinely scare the poop out of me.

    How smug do you have to be to label you and your lame act “great”?

    Also, GAAAARRRYY thought he was a real special guy too

       4 likes

  4. Dr. Frankenkeister says:

    Oh hands down, it is Pernell Roberts in San Francisco International. “My Job, my way” alone is enough to give Pernell the trophy.

    His hair would probably take second.

       20 likes

  5. robot rump! says:

    Super Agent Super Dragon and Adam Chance are the World Heavyweight steel cage tag team champions of smug.

       13 likes

  6. Sitting Duck says:

    Dr. Ratcliff from The Undead (though he does get comeuppance at the end).

    Aram Fingal from Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.

       4 likes

  7. Pemmican says:

    Charles B. “In over his head,” Pierce of ‘Boggy Creek 2: The Continuing Adventures of the Guardians, Part 3.’

    Even after his research assistants almost kill themselves in swamp mud, he encourages his son- I mean, guest star in his movie, to ‘Let it play out,’ in regards to their desperation. Later, he demonstrates excellent crypto-zoological healing knowledge, and outwits Crenshaw in a game of “Where are the shells?”

    Not to mention them shorts. Only Chuck could properly wear Daisy Dukes!

       17 likes

  8. eric in NJ says:

    I will second the late, great Sir Charles B. Pierce. Those smoked up mob style sunglasses hid the knowing eyes of a true egotist. Fortunately that secret was let out of the bag with every single line he had in the classic Boggy Creek II (or BC2 as the true fans call it).

       11 likes

  9. Chris from CT says:

    My pick for smuggest character would be, Dr. Paul Talbot from The Leech Woman. He was so smug that at times he forgot to act.

       7 likes

  10. Droppo says:

    Without question, Mr. Pernell Roberts in San Francisco International. It’s the most hilarious smug performance in MST3K history and I adore it. “Dig me…”

       11 likes

  11. Dark Grandma of Death says:

    Steve “I’m a jerk” Benton, from Attack of the Giant Leeches. He always knew best, and was very good at the quiet put-down of his love interest. Plus, I can never quite forgive him for the way he held the gun TOWARD Liz while he was “saving” her. Only a smug man would do that.

       4 likes

  12. jkrobertson says:

    Dr. Bill Cortner from The Brain That Wouldn’t Die. “Thanks, but I’m too cool for emergencies.”

       8 likes

  13. BIG G BURGER says:

    jim conrad san francisco int.pernell roberts ehck!

       5 likes

  14. Wetzelcoatl says:

    Colonel Breteis (or however you spell her name) from Project Moonbase. She is just the worst, orbit the earth and she thinks she knows everything.

       5 likes

  15. Crow T. Robert Denby says:

    Adam Chance by a mile! Not even Ben Murphy copped a feel while calling every woman he spoke to with a patronizing nickname.

       10 likes

  16. radioman970 says:

    Maybe…that guy with the constantly morphing hair in Werewilf?

       13 likes

  17. BIG G BURGER says:

    rommel,side hackers.what a load.

       4 likes

  18. sol-survivor says:

    Dr. Ekstrom from Rocket Ship X-M. His “My calculations have to be correct because I’m a man” attitude probably got the entire crew killed.

       3 likes

  19. Mary says:

    That one guy from Ring of Terror— gahhh, can’t remember his name, but whose picture is in the OED under smug. I was going to say he was the 40-year-old teenager but all the kids in RoT are middle aged.

    Very close second in the smug Olympics is Watney from Outlaw.

       4 likes

  20. snowdog says:

    For me, it’s gotta be Gary (Gary!) from Spider Island. See, if I uncross my feet, I like her…

       15 likes

  21. KJGoon says:

    Johnny Longbow from Track of the Moon Beast; keep your recipes to yourself, pal.

       6 likes

  22. Kenneth Morgan says:

    Thanks for using my question!

    I considered putting Henry Krasker from “The Dead Talk Back” on the list, but it’s possible that his smugness is all part of the act, as we see at the end of the movie. I’ll give him a pass.

    However, I agree about Jim from “San Francisco International”, with his “My job, my way,” attitude.

    For the worst, though, I’ll go with John Agar in all three of his MST appearances. And his pseudo-John Wayne delivery makes him more insufferable. (Oh, and to see him even worse, check out the as-yet-unriffed “Invisible Invaders” and “Tarantula”.)

    Dishonorable mention to Zachary from “The Alien Factor”, riffed by CT. Not only is an annoying know-it-all, the fact that he doesn’t tell people the whole story really costs him in the end (not that I’m objecting to that).

       9 likes

  23. Dropo221 says:

    Mr. Wheeler (the mean old man) from “The Giant Gila Monster,” he was so sure that Chase was a bad influence on the kids, he wanted him arrested! Plus, he was so smug he didn’t bother to wear a toupee!!

    Honorable mention: Harris (the drunk from Giant Gila Monster), so smug he wouldn’t even sell his jalopy to Chase!

       3 likes

  24. Kenneth Morgan says:

    Another dishonorable mention to Chapman from “Phantom Planet”, with his cranky attitude towards Rheton and its people, as though his white male reality trumps everything. The fact that he does basically nothing heroic or wise to support his superior attitude makes him even worse.

       5 likes

  25. ck says:

    I can’t help but feel that Dr. Ed Wainright was in some way partially
    responsible for the giant grasshopper infestation in BotE.

    Come on Peter, just fess up to the hot reporter that you were TOTALLY
    responsible and smile for a picture with her (humongous) camera.
    Guess Audrey forgot her Blackberry.

       7 likes

  26. ck says:

    Btw, this topic really calls for a top (or bottom) 10 of the
    most smug characters. Are there any female smuggies? Maybe
    Allison Hayes in Gunslinger?

       5 likes

  27. AlbuquerqueTurkey says:

    Sampo, which smug bastard character from “Deadly Mantis” are you referring to? Craig Stevens plays the North Pole army officer who eventually has his way with Alix Talton, but it’s the scientist from the natural history museum that Alix “calls” a smug bastard, and who pummels the old guy with his superior knowledge. Either choice works for me.

       5 likes

  28. MSTie says:

    I agree with #16,radioman970 — has to be Yuri from “Wahr-wilf.” Favorite riffs are Yuri at the party: “Hey, everyone, free samples of me,” or “I couldn’t help noticing you weren’t having sex with me.”

       6 likes

  29. Please add to the list of smug characters Vadinho from Pumaman (the Pyoomaymun). He forced a belt on the weenie Tony after THROWING HIM OUT A WINDOW. Then made Tony fly around in a most undignified manner, and was wholly smug about being right about everything.

    I think Donald Pleasance would also qualify for smugness as well.

       6 likes

  30. dan says:

    The prudish girl from Hobgoblins who manages to judge the entire case (not nearly enough, if you ask me), but just comes off as righteous and whiny.

       8 likes

  31. dan says:

    Oh! And how could I forget about the cop in The Indestructible Man who ends the movie by asking the stripper he barely knows to marry him with probably the most punch-me-in-the-jaw smug look on his face I’ve ever seen

       8 likes

  32. trickymutha says:

    DEATHSTALKER

       15 likes

  33. Comfort Fulton says:

    The first person that popped into my mind was the Paper Chase guy from Warriors of the Lost World. Shame I only know him by that title. But his trying to be independent and too good for the poor people wanting his help and trying to be Road Warrior will irritated me. And what’s with the dopey squirrel face??

       9 likes

  34. MarcusVermilion says:

    Rick from “Pod People”. Best known for saying “It stinks!” in the recording studio scene. He berates his backing singings for being too loud, off the beat and so on. A classic case of “Lead Singer’s Disease”!

       16 likes

  35. John M Hanna says:

    I would add Professor Sikarna from ‘First Spaceship On Venus’. Even Joel and the Bots tell him to shut up at one point.

       6 likes

  36. Gary Bowden says:

    Does Gloria from The Sinister Urge count?? Seems like everyone has already said the ones I would name,like Deathstalker,Pernell Roberts and Agar..How about Bela Lugosi from Bride of the Monster??

       10 likes

  37. dafs says:

    No one has listed Dr. Beck from “It Lives By Night”?

    I’M NOT A BAT!

       5 likes

  38. Cabbage Patch Elvis says:

    It’s gotta be the jerk who reviews strip malls from Merlin’s Chop.
    “As they say, knock my socks off.”

       31 likes

  39. The terrorist played by Ian McShane in “Code Name: Diamond Head.” I don’t remember his character name, so I’ll just say…”LOVEJOY!”

       5 likes

  40. Zee says:

    Hands down- San Fransisco International’s Pernell Roberts!!

       6 likes

  41. ck says:

    #35

    Professor Sikarna knew you were going to criticize him. :)

       4 likes

  42. Droppo says:

    Cabbage Patch Elvis (#38), great one! He’s #2 on my list only behind Pernell. “Go back to your piddly jobs in Congress, I run an airport!”

       1 likes

  43. Edwin B says:

    All the kids in the Gamera movies. (Kenny, Itchy, etc…) They order around the military at will, lecture scientists on monster biology, and all just because they are friends of Gamera. Also the kids in Prince of Space and Invasion of the Neptune Men. Japanese kids can take over the country at the drop of a hat if they meet a monster or a flamboyant superhero!

       7 likes

  44. ck says:

    Let’s see, smug females in MST3000. So far (in no special order)
    1- Estrella in TISCWSLaBMZ
    2- Allison Hayes, Gunslinger
    3- The witch in Jack Frost
    4- Liara, The Phantom Planet
    5- Daphne, Hobgoblins
    6- Valaria, Robot Holocaust
    7- Queen Onfale, Hercules Unchained
    8- Six (I mean VI), in Tormented. Okay, she was more or less killed
    but she just was sooo into taunting her ex.

    Generally Slim Pickens (I mean pickins’) but women generally had a
    supporting/decorative role in many ’50s, ’70s pictures.

       5 likes

  45. Watch-out-for-Snakes says:

    I’ll have to go with little Ronnie Howard as self-named Genius in B.I.Gordon’s VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS.

    Nothing worse than a smug kid…

       12 likes

  46. bobhoncho says:

    One word: Mitchell.

       16 likes

  47. MPSh from Lowell says:

    No question about it! Adam Chance in Agent for H.A.R.M., who’s supposed to be this international super-secret spy/action hero, but who actually does little but smarmily chat up the groovy coo-coo chicks over at the judo range….

       6 likes

  48. fonyo says:

    Robert Reed in BLOODLUST! Wrong, wry and smug.

       5 likes

  49. BrokenProjector says:

    Neil Connery, in Operation Double 007. Smug, impossibly unflappable, and just plain irritating.

       7 likes

  50. Garza says:

    Though we rarely saw him except as a bookend, Peter Graves (Senator Knight) from Clonus was the smuggiest smug who ever smugged. I mean, look at those white shorts.

    And Melissa Manchester in Space Mutiny was pretty smug, thinking she wouldn’t get shot and killed and then just resurrecting herself three scenes later like she was Space Jesus.

       20 likes

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