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Weekend Discussion Thread: It’s a Smug-Off!Regular Kenneth Morgan suggests:
I’m gonna go with Craig “that smug bastard” Stevens in “The Deadly Mantis.” He constantly knows best and lords it over everyone (especially Alix Talton) when he’s actually right. What a jerk. Your pick? 124 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: It’s a Smug-Off!”Commenting at Satellite News
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The unduly confident bow-hunting host of Bloodlust–Mutual of Omaha guy.
I’ll go with Michael Pataki (Sgt. Ward) in “It Lives By Night”.
Definitely the sheriff in “Squirm” – add him to the list.
Oh, and that carpet monster thing from “The Creeping Terror” – thanks for allowing everybody to crawl into your gaping maw to get eaten, while you just stand there wiggling your peculiar head-tentacle-thingies. That’s right, and just take your time, wandering about, too – it’s the 50s, and nobody knows how to run away. Sooooo smug, aren’t you.
#31 – YES! He must work in the same precinct as Captain MJ Donnelly from Brute Man and Lieutenant Lewis from the Dead Talk Back. AKA The smuggest, cockiest precinct in the US.
I’m sure I’m blanking but are there any likable Sheriff-type characters in MST3k films?
Any Peter Graves character, but if I had to choose one, I’d go with Paul Nelson from It Conquered the World. He was so invested in being right (and proving his best friend wrong) that he killed his own wife. It can’t be that he could some how incapacitate her, or disable the control device. Nope, gotta kill her.
On the other hand, if we could include the shorts, I’d go with the narrator guy. Fella thinks he knows everything from chicken farming to what to do on a date.
Though i love the character, Captain Kemp from Moon Zero Two is quite smug.
@JCC – I always like Alan Hale Jr.
Adam Chance, the man so smug it makes your throw up in your mouth a little. “Here’s the wind-up… and here’s the smarm!”
@55: I guess there’s Kon-chan/Cornjob, if you count bicycle-mounted traffic cops as “sherriff-types.” Otherwise…
ROSS ALLEN
Tough call. Two immediately spring to my mind: Buzz from Girl in Gold Boots and Peter Lawford from Angels’ Revenge. The fact those are two of my all-time favourite episodes is merely a coincidence. :-)
Gee, and I thought the entire LIST would be about the guaranteed-to-be-offed-by-the-third-reel Goat Man from “The Slime People” (this will be another great chapter in his book!), but guess I’m one of the few old-skool vets who can quote S1 episodes.
But then, given the competition, guess even he just didn’t measure up.
All the best choices are taken! Adam Chance probably tops my list (the way he keeps saying “angel face” and “my sweet” is vomit-inducing) but Deathstalker is right behind him (“a little better with a sword, a little more handsome”–sorry pal, you’re about as appetizing a dish as a slab of cold bacon fat.)
Neil Connery is pretty smug but Adolfo Celi (“Beta”) beats him. Another smug villain is our old friend the Phantom of Krankor. Just how many times does he declare with a ****-eating grin that the Prince of Space is finished? (“He’s defeated us numerous times, what makes him think he can do it again?”)
For smug woman character I nominate Paula from “The Violent Years”. “You think you’re so smart!” “I don’t think it, I know I am.” Funny stuff considering she’s one of the dumbest crooks ever. Who decides that shooting it out with the cops is the best way to escape a petty vandalism charge?
Doughy Guy and Dan Kester from Giant Spider Invasion were both smug in their own ways. The former was full of big city science bluster and had no problem rolling on women. The latter would have used the diamonds to build the biggest beer stein in Wisconsin and thought his affair with the town barmaid was a secret from his wife.
Prince of Space was a smug little goofball too. YOUR WEAPONS ARE USELESS AGAINST ME.
Critter from Girl in Gold Boots.
10 Hershey Bars please. Can I pay with $100? No? Well licky me, I had a dollar with me all along!
Did I mention that $100 was in Nepalese?
Did I also mention I have soooo much money on me we can go dune buggy riding justlikethat!
Hey Buzz, I’m not into your girl. I’ll just be leaving now. Bye. Nope, I lied. Just went out for a shave so I can look good while impressing Michele by mopping floors with that HARD WATER you all have out her in L.A. I just cannot make suds with this water, man.
or
The Creole Employee of the Month from Assignment Venezuela with his presumption of wide bodies of water.
Either one.
i will go for Quintas, or whatever his name, was from The Undead the way he lorded it over hold professor because he had studied amongst the “shamen of Nipple” was bad enough but later he even maned to outsmug Satan, who for some reason looked more like Robin Hood.
Threr are certain actors it does not matter what part they play such as:
1. John Agar of course
2. George Nader all the way back to the KTMA era
3. Lee Van Cleef
4. Peter Graves
Special mention to Colman Francis the parts he played also he directed smugly
Gotta go with Adam Chance.
My brain immediately went to that d*ck Adam Chance. You bet your nose. The doc and Lloyd characters on “Rocketship XM.” Oh, excuse me for momentarily being a woman and calling you out, guys.
I’ll put in a vote for the cop in the 7! on “Angel’s Revenge”. It’s a nice IDEA, isn’t it?
This thread is cathartic.
Michael in Manos, Hands of Fate. He was pretty much in charge of every decision made on behalf of his family and never seemed to make a decision that actually helped his wife, child, or her little dog.
HERCULES AFTER DRINKING THE WATERS OF FORGETFULNESS.
I am prompted, by entries here, to renew my rage against the reviewer from “Merlin’s Shop.” I don’t know if becoming a baby and being cared for by his wife is a proper punishment for him. Maybe if he was left in the capable hands of Merlin’s wife, instead?
I nominate the Warrior of the Lost World’s motorcycle & its squeaky, snarky comments. Comic relief? I think not.
Well, I’m going to go with the doctor in Leech Woman. That bastard pegged my Smugometer™ so hard that it broke the needle.
In a tie for second, I’ve got Dr. Cortner in The Brain That Wouldn’t Die and the mission commander (that Walt Disney-looking guy) in Rocketship XM.
Coming in at number three for me, it’s Lee Van Cleef’s character in It Conquered The World.
At number four, I have Adam Chance in Agent From HARM.
And rounding out my top five, it’s Deathstalker, from the movie of the same name.
Voldar from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
“They call that a city?”
(Servo: “Oh, everything’s better on Mars.”)
Warren Mitchell was smug in TWO MST3Ks. He was the smug scientist guy in his “very expensive” alpine hideout with the electric windows and cameras, then he was extra smug in his (probably also very expensive) underground hideout on the moon when he played JJ “100%” Hubbard in Moon Zero Two. He had real scotch down there, real scotch! And they were a long way from Scotland.
Anyone with a nickname of 100% is just way too sure of himself. Never trust a guy in shinyl vinyl.
It has to be none other than Dr. “Diet” Kolos from “The Human Duplicators.” His gravelly,”Eeeh, I am a HUGE alien with superior intellect, and you are a, eeeeh, but a squishy human” tone of voice is like fingers prying under my skin and running up and down my spin. Just looking at his square face brings to mind the word ‘smug.’ In fact, if I didn’t know better, I would say the words ‘smug’ and ‘unsufferable’ were invented to describe this guy. (In fact maybe they were. I’ll get back to you on that.) If smugness were cheese, it would drip off his gold foil space suit in gooey, smelly gobs. In short, I really REALLY hate him. I am currently in therapy dealing with this issue. (Got to love the guys’ impressions of him though.)
Since my first choice, Adam Chance, has been taken (and if you don’t believe he’s smug, track down a copy of the original film before The Brains did their editing) I nominate Robert I. (for Imbecile) Miller from “Eegah”. He knew everything about going into the desert/mountains/whatever to look for the giant, including taking his little handbag. The incorrect Bible verse at the end was the topper.
Bob Jackass the store reviewer from Merlin’s Shop.
I kinda feel the Chief from “Get Smart” (Edward Platt) is pretty smug in “The Rebel Set.” Other people are naught but chess pieces to be used and moved about by him, then tossed aside like a hanky full of boogers.
#80: I’d forgotten about “The Rebel Set”. Yeah, Mr. Tucker’s approach to recruiting his gang was…odd. “You morons are all losers who’ve failed at life and will never amount to anything and I am so much your moral and intellectual superior that I can barely bring myself to speak to you. So, wanna help me rob an armored car?”
The SOB from Leech Woman! He is horible to his drunk wife and up to the last five minutes of his life, he never got it thru his smug thick skull that other people might not want to help him achieve his goals. His treament to his wife pretty much sent her mind to staying beautiful no matter what, so it’s his fault for the serial killings.
Close 2nd:Pernall Roberts. He made several important men freak out for their lives and reveals it was fake and does not apologize for it.
Just spray these guys with some smug-off to get rid of embarrasing smug. Oh, sorry, that was sneg-off.
The “it stinks” guy from pod people, and buzz turner from Mr. B Natural…
Little punk thinks all instruments are alike. You’re in for a Conn whooping boy!
Can’t believe no one has mentioned Prince of Space. “You’re weapons are useless against me. Did I mention your weapons are useless against me? I’ll be asking you to leave the planet before I crush you with my awesomeness. No need to thank me kids, as I am awesome.”
I have to go with the so-called “astronauts” from King Dinosaur.
They are representatives from a whole “smug” society.
“What a great planet full of sweet lemurs that we can amuse ourselves with and dominate.”
“ACK! Scary lizards! Nuke the bastards!”
Planet Earth?
Planet Smug!
Godzilla! Save us!
Godzilla -vs- The Smug Monster?
Schweeeeeeeeet!
What, no smug love for John Saxon in Mitchell?
For embarrassing smug, use Smug-Off!
IILA MUROMETS
Largo in Double 007.
My vote is for Exeter from This Island Earth. From the moment his voice comes out of the interocitor, his every line drips of smug superiority. Right before he rams his ovipositor down your throat and lays his eggs. But he’s not an alien!
I agree with #70. The dad in “Manos” was pretty smug.
All the male charaters in the General Hospital shorts and the Monitor from This Island Earth but he was arrogant. Is that the same?
@#78- so glad you pointed out incorrect bible verse from Mr. Miller in EEGAH. I’ve wondered about that for years. Who the hell does that????
The witch in Jack Frost was Baba Yaga, by the way.
The condescending Moms in Gamera vs. Guiron, thought they learned their errors well.
“The Bat” from Aztec Mummy- we keep hoping that he gets a visit from the “The Bat”, the far better one, for copyright infringement. (That dude versus, say, Christian Bale… hahahahaha)
The head cannibal Japanese alien (who sounded like she was from South Carolina or such) in Gamera vs. Guiron, especially when she shoots her injured partner…
Ivan from Jack Frost, as well as the stepmom and stepsisters…
Since I previously referenced CT, I guess I should reference RT.
With the recent showing of “Plan 9”, we can now see that BOTH sides, human and alien, are unbearably smug.
On the alien side, there’s their attitude that they can do whatever they want in order to further their goals and not care about Earthmen. Why? Because we’re all IDIOTS! Our stupid minds! STUPID! STUPID!!
Problem is, the humans aren’t much better. Sure, the solamanite bomb can destroy the Universe, but we can handle it. We’ve got a monopoly on God’s Grace. And we don’t need no stinkin’ aliens to preach to us.
You know you’re in trouble with a movie when the reanimated dead people come off as easy to deal with (yes, even Bela 2.0).
J.C. from sidehackers he was a smug dope. HE KILLED EVERYONE CAUSE HE KNEW IT ALL!
I also agree with Prince of Space he had a cardboard mask and a unitard. JOIN THE CIRCUS!
The father from Manos the Hands of fate was smug. If he would have just asked for directions there would be less car window scenes!
Wait, I just thought of another one: Angelika Jager’s character, the Dahg Wahn’s mistress in Robot Holocaust… though, actually, that may not be actual smugness as much as the quality of her acting.
Joe Ryan in Gorgo. Orgo (Gorgo’s mom) tears up the city of London, destroys Big Ben, looking for Gorgo, while Gorgo kills Mike.
Joe: “I’m as sorry about Mike as you are. It was a tough break, that’s all.”
Sam: “But he’s got a wife and 2 kids!”
Joe: “Okay, so we’ll send her some money.”
Sam: “But he’s DEAD!”
Servo: “Ok, so we’ll send her another husband!”
Joe: “Professor wants us, you coming?”
Sam: “Yeah, sure.”
Crow: “Then you can go beat up some clowns!”
#61
But you have to remember Canucklehead, he’s just a child….