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Weekend Discussion Thread: The MST3K Time (and Space) MachineOkay, to begin with I want to apologize to whoever sent me the time machine suggestion. They way you described it, it was completely off topic, and I think I deleted it, BUT a way to make it work hit me today.
Okay you have a time (and space) machine, but, no, you can’t go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. The machine ONLY takes you to MST3K-related places and events. When/where would you go? Me. I’d like to sitting in the next table at the restaurant where Joel pitched Jim the idea for the show. What would you pick? 73 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: The MST3K Time (and Space) Machine”Commenting at Satellite News
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I would travel to the moment when it was still possible to change Frank’s mind to leave the show. I would then offer him large sums of money to stay.
Just sitting in the writer’s room as they put Space Mutiny together.
The Live shows. They happened before I had even heard of Mst3k.
I’d go back to the Twin Cities in 1988 and make high quality copies of the first three “lost episodes”. Plus, I’d enjoy a great Thanksgiving weekend.
The writer’s room on the day they first screened “Manos” The Hands of Fate. Truly one of the most important days in entertainment history.
I’d like to go back and watch Joel put the robots together..or watch Frank go through all of the movies that they DIDN’T do..or to see the reactions of Mike and Kevin and the rest as they watch CHILD BRIDE for the first time…
I would like to go back in time to the meeting that the Brains had with the guys from the Comedy Channel as they pitched the idea of MST3K as a national show. I would have loved to have seen the reaction on the faces of the CC guys as the promotional tape unwound.
I would go to the set of Alien from L.A. with several tanks of some sort of anti-helium gas for Kathy Ireland to use.
I would go back to when they were negotiating for The Movie and slap around the studio heads a little. I’d make sure The Brains got more control and less interference.
Hmmmm…
I can think of four possibilities;
1) Go back to the period between Joel’s return to Minnesota and the start of MST3K, when he was making robot sculptures and selling them at a local thrift store. I’d buy two of them, one for myself and one for Ebay.
2) Go back to the 1986 so I could record the KTMA Melon Drop that year, the one that apparently doesn’t have a fan copy floating around.
3) Go back to the first “MST Alive!” show, the one with “World Without End”. And I’d bring along my friends from my local access cable channel to make a tape of the whole thing.
4) Go back to the days of ancient Babylon, take some of Nebuchannezar’s gold, stop at various points to wisely invest it, make a whole lot of cash, then go to BBI when they were planning MST3K-TM and offer to give them as much money as they need for it, plus full creative control, removing Universal/Grammercy from the loop.
Well, a man can dream, I suppose…
I’d go back and do every Best Brains tour.
I’d go to the time Joel was thinking about leaving the show and try and talk him out of it, telling him how he’d come to regret it. Also, since the movie venture worked out so poorly in the long run for Joel and the show I’d try and talk the Brains out of that.
I’d like to attend that first convention they held in Minnesota.
That, or have a hug session with Trace before I met my husband or he met his wife.
I’d go to the time when Joel picked up an infant car seat, a big Eveready flashlight, some foam, and black PVC tubing, and said, “Wow, I bet I can make an awesome robot from this.” The birth of Gypsy was momentous in my book!
Because they happened when I was four and six, respectively, I would go back to 1994 and 1996 and attend both conventions. They sounded fun!
I’d go back to the Twin Cities in November of 1988 and stay there until June of 1989. I would bring a high quality Blu-Ray recorder along with plenty of blank Blu-Ray discs and record the entire KTMA seasons in amazingly high quality.
The screenings of all the movies that didn’t make it onto the show.
I would go back to 1966 and find John Reynolds, aka Torgo and tell him “Look. I know that movie you were in wasn’t very good and you feel like its the end. But listen. Get yourself cleaned up, stay healthy, and in 20 years, you will have more fans than you can count. You will be famous and everyone will want to shake your hand.” Hopefully then we would have the original Torgo to meet at conventions.
#9
I like the idea of slapping the movie heads around, mainly to get the movie extended to 90+ minutes for more riffing. Some of the movie bits were good, including the frightening look into Servo’s room when they were searching for the interociter.
Btw, that idea of killing infant Hitler can be tricky. When the Professor in Futurama tried it with his one way time machine he got Hitler the first time but second time around took out Eleanor Roosevelt. (Oopsy!)
I would go back to when they were screening movies and convince them that “Voyage into Space” (a movies made up of “Johnny Sokko and is Flying Robot episodes) would be a great movie to riff.
Ditto on “Invisible Invaders,” and WHY, WHY, WHY won’t you do “Plan 9 from Outer Space?????”
Plus, my husband and I were on a VERY tight budget in the 90s and I missed most of MST3K because we couldn’t afford cable. I have a lot of the episodes on various medium. There are soooo many of them, I still haven’t seen.
So, I would go back and and actually watch all the episodes on my tv!
I would attend the ConventioCons and other public appearances and become the first Fan Club member.
I’d take a tape recorder, hide it in the writers room (Maybe under the couch), tape all the viewing sessions when they’re riffing en masse, and sell copies at conventions in the present for Big Bux. MWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!
And to balance my karma, in a variation of the Torgo suggestion, I’d drop in on various long-gone MSTed actors, directors, etc. who might need or appreciate it and show them they weren’t forgotten. (Might also try to persuade Bela Lugosi to hang on just a couple more years. He died JUST BEFORE the horror movie revival in the 50’s.)
I’d go to the Air Force base where our tax dollars were wisely spent filming “The Starfighters.” The laws of temporal mechanics would prevent me from retrieving a poopy suit, though… :(
I’d go back in time to the offices of Comedy Central and find the guys who said “I dunno, maybe just six episodes this season and then let’s cancel it..,” hit em on the head with a pool cue, steal the memo and write in a “2” in front of the “6” and a “never” in front of the “cancel.”
I’d tell them not to bother with a movie. I’d tell them that the show is fine as it is, and that it’s not worth the effort.
But seeing as how the movie is a big part of why he left, I’d tell Joel that if he ever left the show, Mike is the guy to turn to.
I’d love to see the turkey day marathons. Getting kinda tired of those blowout NFL games on Thanksgiving
A couple people already beat me to it, but I’d definitely go back and record high-quality copies of every KTMA episode, as well as any other MST3K-related content that happened to appear on the channel during those years. Also, the early CC-years, if for no other reason than to get positive airdates for some of the eps. IIRC some of those are still in question.
Also, if going back to when movies featured in the show were in production is allowed, I’d absolutely love to be on the sets of Manos and/or The Creeping Terror.
Well, maybe Kitten With A Whip, too, but that has less to do with the movie or MST3K and more to do with Ann Margaret! ;)
And of course, I’d love to go back and just hang out with the crew while they put together an episode.
I would go to Rutland, Vermont during the time period that Time Chasers was being filmed and somehow get cast as an extra! That would be SWEEET!! From there, I could possibly run into the spare Crow who, by then, gave up the life of cheese to check out the movie that inspired his time travel! That would be super SWEEET!! Then I would also take advantage of that wonderful maple syrup sale! That would really be SWEEET!! But then what would I do with all that maple syrup?? Why I would go to Best Brains in 1991, at the time they were shooting the Viking Women vs The Sea Monster episode and have an impromptu waffle breakfast with the cast and crew!! That would really, really be…well, you know!! :-D
I love the suggestion to attend all the conventions!! 8-)
I would go back to 1962 with a team of the best plastic surgeons in the country and try to fix Arch Hall Jr.’s face.
I would travel back to 1951 and give Cesar Romero and company a hand while climbing that endless mountain.
If I had such device it would have been me and not Buzz they guy teleporting in Showgirls…I mean, Girl in Gold Boots.
I know when you are time traveling you ought not to touch a single thing, but screw The Sound of Thunder, messing around with the fabric of space and time is lots of fun! The only drawback is having an encounter with the Terror from the Year 5000.
I’d go back to the mid-’80s and establish myself as a stand-up comedian in the midwest. The beauty of it is that my sense of humor has been so heavily affected by watching MST3k, every single one of the Brains would be pre-conditioned to like my sense of humor and want me to join them as a writer.
#18 That would be wonderful!
I’d go back to when they were revamping the show for the Sci-Fi channel and take copious notes while they were discussing Pearl’s fabulous and youthful makeover. I mean, I could use the beauty tips.
I’d like to go back to the filming of Catalina Caper. Bad movie, but what a bunch of hot babes!
If I had a time and space machine, I think I’d probably forget about MST3K for awhile.
Id go back and convince Joel to stay another season..and also talk them into doing a full 22 or 24 episode season 7 or hell even 13 episodes..imagine what other movies they could have done then!..hell maybe even Plan 9 from Outer Space,or Glen or Glenda,or more Roger Corman films or something..id also force them to watch more Joe Don Baker movies hahaha
The two occasions I would time travel back to would be both of the Conventio-con shows and I’d make sure each of them were recorded in high quality video for future viewing (obviously and preferrably on a Shout DVD of some kind).
One word: MSTieween. If I had that time machine, October 30, 1993 would be my immediate destination. I’m the only MSTie I know, and can only imagine how exciting such a party with so many costumed MSTies (and CC crew) all hyped for the “new era” would have been.
Just be careful about what you do during your time travel, else you may alter MST3K history so that Eddie Nelson was the show’s sole host.
Definitely the first ConventioCon! Ever since I got the Scrapbook tape, I’ve thought endlessly about how amazing it would have been to be there, to mingle with thousands of MSTies, to meet the Brains in person, to tour BBI’s studio, and to see them riff This Island Earth live. I was only seven years old when the convention occurred and I’d never heard of MST3K at the time; once again, I really feel like I missed out on something incredible by the sheer misfortune of being born in the wrong decade.
I would personally go to Comedy Central and talk to the guy who didn’t renew MST3K for another season,then go to the Sci Fi channel and do the same thing.
@18 John M Hanna — best answer EVER.
Thought of a sort-of topic loophole: What if we were to go back to “Invasion of the Neptune Men(‘s)” destruction of the Hitler building? Maybe I could just work on my fabric sculpture instead…
I would go back in time so I could attend the MST Conventio-cons. I was too young to go to back in ’96, had just discovered the show a couple years before, so I can’t even remember if I knew about the first convention, but I desperately wanted to go to Contentio-Con II: Electric Bugaloo, but there was no way to convince my parents that a trip up to Minnesota just so I could go to a sci-fi convention was a good, feasible, and affordable idea.
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Now that I go back and read the the other comments, I see a lot of you want to do the same thing. Any of you want to carpool?
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@18 John M Hanna: Bravo, sir. Bravo. :yes: Like x1000
Sit in on the meeting where Joel told Brandon Tartikoff he wouldn’t do the Fast Times tv show. That’s the real beginning, because it’s when Joel realized he and Hollywood weren’t compatible.
Go back and tell them to go with anyone but Universal for the movie.
Tweak the lives of some rights owners so they can live with being riffed (kind of like the Doctor Who version of A Christmas Carol).
Sit in on enough meetings to figure out which movies they couldn’t get that they really wanted and fix the situation as per above.
And I’d have helped them get the rights to The Ultimate Fight for one of the last seasons, since it’s doubtful that’ll ever get a DVD release for Rifftrax to do. Ernie Reyes Sr. & Jr. and a cross-dressing Parker Lewis in a wannabe-Tarantino martial arts thriller, such perfect riff fodder…
@6 They actually considered Child Bride? If so I weep because that’s one of the few times I nailed home-riffing, though I understand why they turned it down despite it not being as sick as the title would lead you to think (for those not in the know, it’s a 30’s exploitation title ala Reefer Madness).
@10 Got it on the “Fund the movie” idea.
@18 tHe mAsTeR aPProVEs…
@25 Prefer no cancellation as it should have been like South Park (ie the network’s Tiffany show that won’t end till the creators want it to), but at least I would’ve gotten a full(er) 13-episode order for the show to go out on.
@40 You’d be better off making sure the idiots in charge never got those positions to begin with, which would solve some other problems outside of MST (ESPECIALLY in Sci-Fi’s case).
Just going back to the time we’re covering this week in the episode guide: trying to get the Brains to reconsider the Pearl/Dr Forrester combo. My suggestion would be to use more Bridget instead, who we never really saw enough of; or maybe both Bridget and Mary Jo, and let Trace stick with Crow? Look, i like MJP well enough in season 8 on, but the new Clayton characterization was off-putting and i don’t think they worked well together as a team (of course they didn’t really have much time to work on it either).
I might also go back about 5 years to when Cinematic Titanic started up and Rifftrax was already rolling, and make a fan-site ‘similar’ (ie, completely plagiarized) to mst3kinfo (episode guides, dvd info, and news) to support them both!
Be in the writer’s room during the riff-writing on “Village of the Giants,” so I can finally figure out what the line “She’s dreaming she’s Susan” is in reference to!
I would go back and prevent Sci-Fi from cancelling the show. Maybe find someway to but the whole channel, and make a few non-MST3K changes. (Keep Mindprobe and Caption This running longer, prevent the era of Saturday Night SyFail movies.)
I would simply go back and relive the period in my life when I was discovering the show for the first time. Didn’t have Comedy Central so I had had to tap into the tape-swapping underground, which was very cool in its own way. Never forget what a thrill it was to hold a fresh cassette in my hand on a Friday – masking tape along the spine with the title hastily scrawled: “Fire Maidens from Outer Space” or “Bride of the Monster.” Never forget sitting up watching “Eegah!” by myself late one night after a tough week and just laughing my ass off. Never forget watching “Outlaw” with a bunch of friends who’d never seen the show and almost literally feeling the whole house shake with laughter (we had to keep pausing and rewinding because people were laughing so loud!) Never forget discovering fellow MSTies at parties and having that instant connection. Virtually every memory I have from those days where the show is concerned is a positive one. So it would be nice, yes, to go back and relive that period of discovery and freshness and surprise all over again. But I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s rare that anything leaves you with such uniformly good memories – so time machine or no time machine, you don’t mess with it!
I would like to go back to the 80s, find Rick Sloan (maker of Hobgoblins) and kick him right in the shin. Actually, I take that back… that movie led to a very funny episode in a puppet show that has brought so much joy into my life. Thanks Rick!
@49 Of course, kicking Rick Sloan in the shin is pretty much the thing that led to Hobgoblins being made in the first place.
As for me, I’m also for going back in time to check out the live MST3K shows and the conventions (as I was a teen when those took place), as well as swing by 1962 to check out the Seattle World’s Fair (the setting of Century 21 Calling) and Santa’s Village (the setting of the Santa Claus shorts that Rifftrax riffed this past Christmas).