We’re having a small exchange of comments on the announcement of the new Rifftrax of “Dark Power.” There were a couple of comments as to Rifftrax introducing, even people who thought they’d seen it all, to bizarre-beyond-belief movies, such as (natch) “Dark Power” and “Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny.” Cinematic Titanic gave me “East Meets Watts” and “Rattlers.” So, what’s the most over-the-top entrée into new levels of weird?
I have noted a time or two that when somebody calls “Manos” or “Fu Manchu” the worst movie ever, it’s because they haven’t seen some of the films being made in places far from Hollywood. Me? I’ve seen the Catman movies.
So what truly truly truly bottom-of-the-barrel movies have you discovered?
) to help our users cope with "trolls" and other commenters whom they find annoying. Go to our
i say Monster A Go Go or any Sandy Frank “films”.
Guy from Harlem, Monster a Go-Go, Galaxy Invader and a lot of Jesus Franco stains.
The Amir Shervan movie “Killing American Style” is below awful. It misuses Robert Z’Dar in a heist/escaped convict/kidnapped family movie that is incredibly loathsome. It makes Manos look…well, no, it doesn’t really help Manos, but it’s a miserable film.
Birdemic is glorious.
How about 1969’s “The Wonderful Land of Oz” brought to you by director Barry Mahon [who directed and produced at least the Thumbelina portion of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny ]
Plot: “After his witch guardian Mombi threatens to turn him into a statue, young Tip decides to run off to Emerald City with his newly-animated companion, Jack. Along the way, he meets up with Genral Jinjur, leader of the Army of Revolt, who takes Tip prisoner as she marches her troops to take over the Emerald City. Tip escapes to warn the scarecrow, now the ruler of the city, and together they leave to find the Tin Woodsman and form their own army.”
Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RxLBjf0t1k
Film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC–dPel-4o
Wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wonderful_Land_of_Oz
Every damn movie made by damn syfy channel. Damn!
Just remember there is the entire Uwe Boll Library (shutter).
Was just watching Alien From LA on disk, and while I wouldn’t necessarily pick THAT one, M&tB’s safety-net of jokes about “Oy, Oy’m Austrye-lian….Oy!” only hint at the very rim of the Oz-ploitation rabbit hole.
(Throw in the world of Golan/Globus, who, if you’ve seen the documentary, didn’t care what he filmed once he thought he had an idea, qv. The Apple, and you’ve got yourself a strange new world to explore. I’ve seen Albert Pyun’s G/G work on Captain America and Van Damme movies, and even this one left me staring.)
Case in point–if you want “Psychotically weird” and not just “Bad”–I’ve heard Philippe Mora on the commentaries for his Howling sequels say even he couldn’t remember what he was thinking, back in his directorial days. I believe it.
I get the feeling “truly truly truly bottom-of-the-barrel movie” is going to be the review for the new Jem and the Holograms movie.
i recently had the pleasure,(or would it be pain?) of seeing the Roger Corman film “Wasp Woman”. The creature costume ranks as one of the cheesiest i’ve ever seen. Put this on your short list of bad films. The 80’s film “Night of the Comet” was also a cheesefest for those unfortunate enough to have seen it.
From Ray Dennis Steckler who gave us The Incredibly Strange Creatures, etc. comes The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher. The movie alternates between a man strangling women in Hollywood and a woman slashing men on Skid Row. At the end, they meet and kill each other. At least the title is accurate. Unfortunately, Ortega doesn’t appear in it, since he would have given the movie a touch of class.
The other week I watched a 1989 movie called “Monster High” and damn it was terrible.
Curse of Bigfoot. I have truly never seen a more incompetently made movie. Manos is a cinematic masterpiece compared to it.
Then there’s Conquest, but maybe I just can’t fathom the amount of drugs the makers of that movie were on.
I wish I could remember more details (and no controlled substances are to blame), but one night about 12 years ago some friends and I watched the worst movie I can think of. It was on VHS, probably from the late ’80s or early ’90s. I have no idea where it came from. It was titled “Outta Control” or something like that. I am pretty sure it was about hillbilly organized crime. There was one shot of a hillbilly getting shot with a shotgun. The gun goes off, a long pause (as I remember it), and then the guy kicks one leg up and flies backward. It was hilariously bad. Worse in every way than anything else I have ever seen. I wish I could see it again. Countless Internet searches have never yielded any results. If I had a time machine, I would go back to that night. If I were a billionaire, I would gather a team like in “Fast & Furious 6” to find a copy at all costs.
Leave “Dark Power” out of this.
To see my childhood hero Lash LaRue, nearing the end of his career, getting one more chance to stand tall and look good as he tells the zombie Indian shaman to “FEEL MY WHIP, YOU SONOFABITCH!”-well, hail, that’s the reason I watch movies.
And, naked teenagers.
I’m still trying to track down the existence of two fever-dreams that only seemed to exist on the late 80’s days of USA Network, back when they were just a little struggling indie channel that would pull the most bizarre things from every known direction:
One was a “Yeti” movie made back when everyone was trying to rip off the DeLaurentiis King Kong (I’ll spare any descriptions of that one for anyone who remembers Tarantino trying to bring back “Mighty Peking Man”)
And the other think was called “The Intruder” (no, not the Corman neo-nazi Shatner one, which is pretty good), a backyard-made Canadian movie about a magician who comes to a corrupt small town a la Something Wicked This Way Comes.
And I’m trying to track them down because there doesn’t seem to be any trace that these movies ever showed anywhere except Commander USA’s Groovie Movies. Even the reviews on the IMDB listings are from old Commander fans.
Even the AgonyBooth.com site doesn’t seem to know of these movies, and they were the site RT were leeching off of when they made Santa/Bunny their new money train.
A ScyFy channel movie, I think called Cube. The whole thing is
people trying to get from one cube to another without being killed.
Then at the end survivors get to the escape area and then remainder get
killed. Just pointless.
Oh, and a bottome of the barrel device in many ScyFy movies, people shoot
at dinosaurs or whatever and it has zero effect (why not scars/cuts etc.
Oh right, that would take somewhat less cheap effects.
Love Betty White, but Lake Placid!
Unfortunately I don’t have anything original to add to this thread but will bleat my opinion anyway. Thanks to Rifftrax, my new standard for truly terrible movies is Birdemic. I can’t believe anyone involved in its making didn’t think the finished product should be burned immediately. The Guy from Harlem is right up there, I mean down there, too.
My vote would be for R.O.T.O.R. Apparently the lead actor was so bad they had another actor dub his lines for him – even though he was speaking English the whole time!
Just about any given Asylum movie. Some people say that Sharknado and stuff like it is intentionally bad. It’s not, it’s just a case of the title coming first and the story second, like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. If it were trying to be bad it would make at least some attempt at self-aware comedy. But regardless, there’s no excuse for the way Asylum movies just don’t make any logical sense whatsoever, even to the point of contradicting themselves over and over. They are so bafflingly stupid they make my head hurt.
Just about any given Asylum movie. Some people say that Sharknado and stuff like it is intentionally bad. It’s not, it’s just a case of the title coming first and the story second, like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. If it were trying to be bad it would make at least some attempt at self-aware comedy. But regardless, there’s no excuse for the way Asylum movies just don’t make any logical sense whatsoever, even to the point of contradicting themselves over and over. They are so bafflingly stupid they make my head hurt.
I still contend that The Mad Monster is the absolute worst anything that’s ever been riffed on by any of MST3K/CT/Rifftrax.
saw this on one of the local area public access stations:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyapfgZSonI
when i was watching it, i was riffing it too.
No mention of “The Room” yet? I was at the live riffing a few weeks ago, and it was beyond awful, and not just because of Tommy Wiseau, either.
Also, a show called “Off Beat Cinema” show some weird stuff, like Werewolf of Washington. Dean Stockwell as a reporter who gets bitten by a werewolf, then becomes press assistant to the President. Check out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuVAn_55PhU, and you’ll wonder why this hasn’t gotten the Rifftrax treatment yet.
A few weeks ago I caught some of the Shaquille O’Neal classic “Steel”. Another prime example of Hollywood taking a famous name and a licensed character and having no idea what to do with either one.
“Doomsday Machine.” To this day, it’s the only Cinematic Titanic episode I’ve seen once with no desire to ever go back and watch it again. Anyone who can make it through that atrocity committed to film without the assistance of riffing is truly a legend among men and women.
Other than that, the movie version of Stephen King’s “Riding the Bullet” definitely ranks up there with the worst adaptations of his works, and that’s really saying something.
I will echo Lisa’s sentiments about all SyFy movies. I would go with any Ross Hagen film, most notably Action USA and Blood Games. Blood Games is an amalgamation of Deliverance and any late night Cinemax film. He plays the coach of the team (Hagen is no Bill Belichick.) Like Belichick, his team wins the game against redneck town all-stars but the town boss won’t pay him. Unlike Belichick, Hagen seeks his revenge by beating up the boss in a bar bathroom. The locals rebel and chase the women into a swamp. It gets worse from there.
One other film of note was Steele Justice, where the leader of Cobra Kai is a Vietnam Vet who is tortured and is an ex cop who is hunted by an old nemesis no it aided by Sela Ward . Every 80’s action cliche (and I Emphasize every) is met during the film.
I remember way, way back when hotels were the first to get cable, we were on our honeymoon and my husband and I were watching HBO or something, mouths open in shock as there was actual cussing and slashing and boobs on our TV screen! Anyway I remember such gems as “Happy Birthday to Me”, (starring Mary from Little House on the Prairie), Motel Hell, Nighthawks and other goodies.
I think to this day, of all the films I’ve ever seen that are so bad or bizarre that their very existence boggles the mind – and yet they are also compellingly watchable – it’s still hard to top ‘Glen or Glenda.’ (Though I do agree, David Mello, that ‘The Room’ is also in that conversation.)
Uh, Next of Kin?
The Reincarnation of Peter Proud. If ever there was a movie that REALLY belonged on MST3K, that movie was it! Poorly acted, poorly directed, the whole lot. An example of its sheer crumminess is the line “Take it from me: when you’re dead, you’re dead!”
For movies that the guys have riffed, I would say Birdemic wins easily.
For movies that the guys have not riffed, I submit these three horror movies: Night Train to Terror, Gothic (directed by Ken Russell, the guy who directed The Who’s Tommy) and Deadtime Stories. Those movies are all bad enough to where I laughed out loud several times while watching them but not bad enough to be unwatchable. Mama Dracula is a terrible movie, but it is so bad it is almost unwatchable.
I also recommend the Blaxploitation movie TNT Jackson.
Zabriskie Point is one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen. I know it’s supposed to be some sort of statement about the state of the world at the time, but it’s just a statement about how to make a boring, drawn-out film.
“Fun in Balloonland” might be the laziest thing that called itself a movie. Nothing wrong with the parade itself, but the acting in the opening segment is non-existent and the kids all look unbelievably bored. Oh, and the narrator during the parade sounds drunk at times and deploys plenty of gibberish. This may have worked for a live segment in the 60s, but being repackaged as a movie (where I assume it aired during December on UHF channels and Public Access TV all across the US) makes it look like someone figured out how to cook the books to show a profit.
“Invisible Invaders.” Has to be pretty close to the bottom of the barrel. It has the whiniest protagonist I have ever seen.
I’ve got two words for ya.
Actium Maximus.
Here. Behold madness. A horrible glory made manifest: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leH8zukOzjY
@33
but Zabriskie Point had a good soundtrack (Pink Floyd and the Grateful Dead).
That was Michelangelo Antonioni’s big-hyped attempt to immediately be brought to America to make his next “young, relevant” Blow-Up for the 60’s young people, and strike back at American icons in the process. And as the Medveds detailed in their first book, it was an unholy mess.
And like Santa/Bunny, the RT guys would do well to learn from Fun In Balloonland that the truly bizarre movies are the RT’s we remember. (Say, “Weird cheesy movies”, there’s an idea!) I’ve seen a few homegrown local-newsreel shorts trying to sell themselves as “holiday novelties”, but that one just comes from Mars.
I first saw that without riffing back when Elvira was also dipping into the same public-domain well as CT’s first few titles. I will say that her comedy host-segments HELPED.
Dracula 2000 made me throw things.
But for “out-there” movies that I’ve actually enjoyed in my own weird way (and could be fodder for RT):
Rat Pfink a Boo-Boo
Southland Tales
Mr. Vampire (actually a very enjoyable movie, but so so weird)
Any of the Andy Sidaris oeuvre
Wild Wild Planet and the sequel, War of the Planets have a nice Moon Zero Two feel to them that can only be enhanced by riffing (I’ve long hoped either CT or RT would do them)
No, definitely not. It was nothing like that in that the movie I watched was made, I assume, but a group of friends (enemies?) over a weekend or something. Not from a studio.
Now I feel like I built it up too much. It could never live up to my recollection.
Surprised I’m the first to mention Troll 2. I haven’t seen the Rifftrax version, just the unriffed one. A truly bizarre experience. What elevates it above Asylum crap is that the people making it were quite serious about it.
For another example, I haven’t seen any of Andy Milligan’s movies, but the Psychotronic Film Encyclopedia says that if you’re a Milligan fan there’s no hope for you. You can get them on blu-ray now. The remake of one was riffed by Cinematic Titanic (too lazy to look for the title, it’s the one about family members fighting over John Carradine’s estate).
rented this from netflix.
Skeleton Coast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmuYBrODyYo
found this on youtube:
FDR: American Badass!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfsPw8VMw5U
Bog (1983):
In Wisconsin, a small town is terrorized by a Humanoid Crayfish Monster that must drink the blood of woman so it’s brood of eggs can live after it is awakened by a hillbilly using dynamite as a fishing aid.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1KSUtLwh3A
Attack Of the Super-Monsters:
Intelligent Dinosaurs who survived by going underground attack Japan to destroy the human race and it’s up to the Gemini Team to fight them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICIEzHgJAaA
Return of the Dinosaurs:
Due to climate changes, Dinosaurs have return to earth and its up to the nature Group, Born Free, to save the dinosaurs from pouchers and others and put them in a game reserve where they can be safe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaepFVfxOcU
Monsteriod/Monster:
A pollution in a South American lake creates a giant monster with Fu Manchu barbels that attacks the locals. Guest stars John Carridene as a priest.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZS9FqOxqNo
Zone Troopers:
A group of American soldiers find and protect an alien from Nazis during WW2.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-GFYi-O07s
Star Odyssey:
A ragtag group of misfits must save the Earth from an evil space overlord. Guest stars Nello Pazzafini of Danger! Death Ray and Colossus and the Head Hunters fame.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzzsSWhe06w
Godmonster of Indian Flats
Mutant Sheep runs a muck in a small Arizona town run by a bigot town council.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7HD2xXSua0
Blood Freak:
Man turns into Turkeyman after eating pot-tainted turkey and must drink the blood of druggies to live.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoU4TT8-frU
THE only good thing about it. I LOVE Pink Floyd, but all the movies they did soundtracks for were pretty awful. The soundtrack albums were good, though.
I think LAST SLUMBER PARTY, which RiffTrax did last year, counts as perhaps the worst thing ever riffed by MST3K or any of its offshoots. Not one thing was done right in that movie, NOT ONE. I don’t even think it can legally be called a film. At least MANOS had atmosphere, even if it was unintentional. And ZINDY THE SWAMP BOY has perhaps the most WTFF (What the fraking frak) ending in film history.
So hard to really limit yourself to one, isn’t it.
Well, we can go with a Nicolas Cage movie – most of them are pretty terrible. Especially his remake of “The Wicker Man.” When you’ve seen the original, the remake is pathetic, and if you haven’t, the remake is abysmal.
Speaking of abysmal remakes, the one MST should have done and Rifftrax has got to do someday: Zontar, the Thing From Venus. Remake a fairly ok film (It Conquered the World), cast it with incompetents (and John Agar), and demonstrate absolutely no talent for making a movie, and there you go. MST really should have done more Larry Buchanan films. Definitely bottom of the barrel.
And I don’t mean to trash remakes (that’s another discussion thread), but the remake of Lathe of Heaven has got to do down as one of the worst. How can you adapt a book, remake an earlier adaptation, and remove everything that defined the plot of the book? Absolutely terrible.
But then, moving away from the remakes, definitely Creeping Terror, Monster a Go Go, The Room, and Batman and Robin are on my list of bottom of the barrel movies. Also, the Twilight films. It’s like I said many times: there is only one Twilight and it’s a Zone.
And finally, I’ve seen the Larry Semon silent Wizard of Oz, which is nothing I recommend to anyone. It was as if a four-year old read the novel, completely forgot about it, then had to recall it when she was eight – then a mentally incompetent fool took that recollection and added his own diseased ideas. The movie was so bad, L Frank Baum himself established a production company to show them how to do it. Unfortunately, his movies were no better — and that’s why everyone thinks the Judy Garland movie was the first to adapt the story. I would say you have to see it to believe it, but don’t. Really, don’t. Why destroy your tender psyche with something like that? It’s The Room bad – that’s how horrible it is.
This one is on my list – just waiting for the perfect time to watch it!
On topic, my latest fave is ‘For Your Height Only’ – another winner from the Philipines, starring a midget Bond with ‘actual’ x-ray glasses!
Somewhere along the line I picked up one of the 50 movie DVD packs calling itself the Tomb of Terrors. The whole set appears to be shot on video student films from the early 90s. There’s a couple of bright spots, but most of this stuff looks like a Gen-X Manos remake.
Actually, think it was the other way around:
Baum was already living in Hollywood before the movie days (he just liked the town), and took up a new production company as a way of playing around with new stories–Unfortunately, rights loopholes let Semon grab the original book out from under him, and give us the improvised made-up-crap mess we got to try and cash in.
Still, guess which version gets shown whenever anyone wants to be clever about pre-Garland versions.