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Weekend Discussion Thread: MST3k-Inspired Horse Names

Alert readers Steve & Keri suggest:

With the recent triple crown win, I thought: what if I owned a racehorse, and what MST-related name would I give it. I always thought “Prince of Space” would make a great racehorse name. Others I like include “Flag on the Moon.” “Satellite of Love,” “Sirveaux” and “Push the Button.”

I think my filly would be called “Torgo’s Knees.”

What about you?

152 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: MST3k-Inspired Horse Names”

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  1. DedicatedToUranus says:

    Man Is A Feeling Creature
    A Greek Not A Jew
    More Pie, Man-Goat?
    Little Winged Potato

       1 likes

  2. Apollonia James (yeah right) says:

    (Not done after all)

    Boss of Bosses
    Puncture Proof
    The Incredibly Strange Horse Who Stopped Living And Became A Mixed Up Zombie (TISHWSLABAMUZ is less than 18 characters…)
    Corn Detassler
    Snarf Farms

       1 likes

  3. Kellye says:

    Nastinka!

       2 likes

  4. Dan says:

    GrandfatherMushroom?
    Oops, too many letters.

       1 likes

  5. Warren says:

    Hired!
    Diamondhead
    Mighty Jack
    Starforce
    Catalina Caper
    Skydiver
    Delta Knight
    TheLegendContinues

    These are arguably more dignified than Hoof-Hearted, which (I am not kidding) was a real racehorse.

       2 likes

  6. Tasty Frog Legs (Red Zone Cuba)
    All Reaction Shots (Beast of Yucca Flats)
    I Like Coffee (Skydivers)

       3 likes

  7. Mibbitmaker says:

    Ryoki:
    How about ‘Ken’ or ‘Corn Job’ then.

    A horse race with Ken in it would have to be all horses named Ken in the same race. Now THAT would be a fun announcer play-by-play!

       6 likes

  8. Blowie the Dolphin says:

    How about FatBarKeep

       3 likes

  9. Ro-man says:

    Mac Cheesesteak

       1 likes

  10. Ro-man says:

    Brown Betty with Death

       2 likes

  11. Joe Mannix says:

    Mannix, Mr B Natural, Tormented, Invention Exchange, Breakfast Bazooka, Borromel, Stridex Medicated Ballroom, Girls’ Town, Touch Connors, Cornjob;

       1 likes

  12. Wylliam says:

    Fingel’s Quarry
    Love’s Pit BBQ
    Valley Loogie
    Touch Conners
    Eulabelle

       0 likes

  13. Dan says:

    OldManCrenshaw?
    KnowYourOintments?

       1 likes

  14. Candy Lion says:

    He’s not Sinbad
    Honey, Don’t
    Atomic Superbeing
    Go Ahead On
    Grimwald Warrior

    And a Rifftrax entry: Ohai Mark

       0 likes

  15. Dan says:

    BobJohnsohn, oh, wait.

       1 likes

  16. Pulatso says:

    Batch
    Area
    Smooth
    Buffalo Shot

       1 likes

  17. Your New Best Friend says:

    OK, I like #2’s, “God’s Domain.”

    But race him as a stallion. Then, geld him.

    Then rename him “Tampered.”

       3 likes

  18. Gobi says:

    Cabot
    Cabot?
    Cabot!
    Cabot?!
    Cabot!?

       2 likes

  19. jbs901 says:

    Mr. B Natural
    Deep 13
    Rocket No. 9
    Drop ’em Droppo
    Hot Biscuits (Young Man’s Fancy)
    Umbilicus
    The Undead
    Ator’s Thong
    Dr. Kolos
    Wish Squisher

       0 likes

  20. robot rump! says:

    ‘and the winner by a nose it’s..VAAAAAANCE!’

       3 likes

  21. Charlie says:

    MerlinMysticWonder
    SorryAboutMyFace
    CarradinesOnMyBed

       1 likes

  22. MajorMac says:

    Crenshaw’s Fire

       6 likes

  23. Dan says:

    MoreReba.
    GoodGodI’mUgly.

       1 likes

  24. Nathan says:

    Spankingsallaround
    Worm face
    The brute horse
    Mr Beardsley

       0 likes

  25. jbs901 says:

    Ken’s Forklift
    Selling Wizard
    King Dinosaur
    Squishy
    Edgy Uncle Jim

       2 likes

  26. bigbrainbotboy says:

    “… around the final turn and it’s Chief? followed closely behind by McCloud? And now they are neck and neck down the final stretch…
    It’s Chief?…
    No. McCloud?
    Chief?
    McCloud?
    Chief?
    McCloud?
    Chief?
    McCloud?…
    And it’s Beat A Dead Horse by a nose! ;-)

       4 likes

  27. Angie Schultz says:

    From Last of the Wild Horses: Loaner Roan.

    These are arguably more dignified than Hoof-Hearted, which (I am not kidding) was a real racehorse.

    Hoof-Hearted’s owner is That Guy who thinks he’s a card. Another of his horses is Peony’s Envy. If I were an announcer I’d be tempted to say, “And Mike Pegram’s Peony’s Envy is coming on strong!”

       1 likes

  28. EricJ says:

    Angie Schultz:
    Hoof-Hearted’s owner is That Guy who thinks he’s a card.

    (…Bill Corbett?) ;)

       0 likes

  29. goalieboy82 says:

    off topic but
    Chris Squire of Yes died on June 27th (co-wrote Owner of a Lonely Heart). i know his name wasn’t said, but it need to be said.

       3 likes

  30. Ragnarok says:

    MRxL!!

       3 likes

  31. Satoris says:

    goalieboy82:
    off topic but
    Chris Squire of Yes died on June 27th (co-wrote Owner of a Lonely Heart).i know his name wasn’t said, but it need to be said.

    I was a huge fan of YES growing up and got to see them live. Huge loss for music!

       3 likes

  32. Satoris says:

    Great topic. It looks like most of the good answers are off the board. But I’ll try:

    Win: Garth Vader
    Place: Hardware Hank
    Show: Johnny Longbow

       2 likes

  33. Satoris says:

    EricJ: (…Bill Corbett?)

    He sure is hell is funnier than you Eric.

       11 likes

  34. Juice says:

    “…and it’s bird poop on the rail, apartment house with plenty of room, girdle in the stretch and bringing up the rear, it’s BEETLEBOMB!”

       1 likes

  35. McBeefpileonpeteyplane says:

    Troxartus
    Didn’tstealnobike
    Mr Beardsley
    Critter (that name may exist already)
    Apollonia
    Bart Fargo
    Bavarro
    Rocky Jones
    Cleolanta
    Atlasan (Ampersand)
    Megalon
    Barugon
    Gaos
    Guiron
    Zigra
    Annikki (Annikki’s the name, poker’s the game)
    Pilot Peat (Pylon Pete or PileOnPete)
    Charmin’

       0 likes

  36. Happenstance says:

    Can’t…stop! From one episode alone:

    Abby’s Some Gal
    Up On Yer Mudflaps
    Tripolidine
    ElusiveRobertDenby

       3 likes

  37. Dirty D says:

    Isthatstudcoming?

       4 likes

  38. Robert Denby says:

    OldTimeBillySlater
    Johnny’s Stew

       2 likes

  39. DirtyTerry says:

    Sorry everybody, but how do you suggest a thread?

       2 likes

  40. Dirty D says:

    DirtyTerry:
    Sorry everybody, but how do you suggest a thread?

    That’s way too long. 18 characters is the max for a racehorse name. :-P

       7 likes

  41. Thom Sirveaux says:

    Hi-Keeba!

       1 likes

  42. Clint says:

    Mitchell’s Baby Oil!

       1 likes

  43. Mark says:

    nobody mentioned:

    CirclePines
    ViolentPornComics

       0 likes

  44. Justin says:

    We Love You Cornjob (GAMERA VS GUIRON), Snowhead the Blue Reindeer (BOGGY CREEK II), It’s My Birthday (I ACCUSE MY PARENTS), Coffee Underachiever (SKYDIVERS)

       0 likes

  45. Emlic says:

    I remember doing this with the video horse racing game they have at Dave & Buster’s quite a while ago. Some of the horses I named were:
    1. we got movie sign
    2. Satellite of love
    3. Rocket number nine
    4. Deep Thirteen
    5. Gizmonics

    I’m sure there were others but I can’t recall them off hand.

       1 likes

  46. Sitting Duck says:

    @ #139: Just email it to Sampo at msampoATaolDOTcom.

       1 likes

  47. "Hotchka!" says:

    JEEEEEEEDDDDD!!!!
    Diabolik
    Hlick Me
    Lucy Braless
    Big Stupid
    Sex Poodle
    Rice of Pipple
    Kitten With A Whip
    Judo Range
    The Creeper
    VomitStaindMavrik
    Swamp Diamond
    Want Some?
    JudesWearingAWire!

       1 likes

  48. DirtyTerry says:

    Dirty D is picking on me, will the MSTie community come to my defense? Won’t you?

       2 likes

  49. probinator says:

    “Why Don’t They Look?”
    “Rock n Roll Martian”
    “Mr. Beardslee”

       2 likes

  50. Savvy says:

    Your New Best Friend:
    OK, I like #2’s, “God’s Domain.”

    But race him as a stallion. Then, geld him.

    Then rename him “Tampered.”

    Oh, that killed me.
    What about Fred Burroughs? Iris? Mr. B Natural?
    Oh, and good use of Megaweapon @ #1!

       1 likes

Comments are closed.